


Love, Bucky

by ValkyrieGail



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Omega Bucky Barnes, Rape/Non-con Elements, Scenting, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-07-23 20:14:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 112,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7478376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieGail/pseuds/ValkyrieGail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky used to be close friends, but life and consequences often get in the way of a good thing. <br/>After a missed opportunity, life sends the pair on different paths. Though despite the distance, time, and obstacles, the two  find a way back to one another. Will they be able to overcome and put the past behind them, or will it be too late?</p><p>ABO dynamic world. Inspired by the movie <i>Love, Rosie.</i><br/>*On Hiatus! (Not abandoned!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story is very largely based on the movie Love, Rosie. (I do not own or claim to own any of the rights to Love, Rosie or any of the Marvel characters) Thank you to my lovely friend LanyaCelebrian for being my beta reader! :)

_Bucky, 18. Steve, 17._

“So have you taken a knot?” Clint was pointedly looking to Bucky with a bemused grin that not only spoke of the mischief in his eyes, but the amount of alcohol that the beta had consumed.

Bucky nearly choked on his shot of whiskey, coughing the whole way through as it burned down his throat. He glanced over at Natasha, who seemed cool and collected as she set down her emptied glass. Steve, on the other hand, was beet red and looking away with purpose as he swallowed.

“No.” Bucky coughed, “I’ve been with an alpha, but never took a knot.”

“So you didn’t go through with it with Castle?” Clint smirked.

“We only slept together in his car ages ago.” Bucky clarified with a smile of his own, “What are you getting at, Barton?”

Steve groaned and ran his hand over his face. Bucky knew he was secretly hiding an amused grin at Bucky’s lack of finesse.

It had only been a few months ago that Bucky lost his omega virginity to an older alpha. He had been a little afraid of making time with an alpha at first, but by the time he was 17, he felt ready to take the next step. He had fooled around plenty, but made the leap when Frank finally asked him out. Frank Castle had taken him to dinner, to which Bucky had then fucked his brains out afterward in the backseat of Frank’s car while Frank kept swearing the whole time. Frank had gotten wild towards the end of their tryst and came all over Bucky’s back. Afterwards, Bucky had crept over to the Rogers household to use their shower to rid himself of the pungent alpha scent. Sarah Rogers worked night shifts at the hospital and Steve was there to shake his head at Bucky’s life choices while he recounted the momentous occasion. Bucky didn’t allow Frank to knot him, but he had at least now gone further with an alpha than ever before.

Thinking back on it, the omega was positive that he had shared this story with both Clint and Natasha.  Bucky looked at the beta questioningly.  

“Well….I heard from a little bird that Brock Rumlow wants to take you out to the dance.” Clint was smiling widely. “He’s been eyeing you, you know.”

“Brock Rumlow is a tool.” Natasha shook her head.

“A very sharply, well-chiseled tool.” Clint pointed out. “Who wants to, and I quote, ‘knot the shit out of Barnes’.”

“Vulgar idiot.” Natasha murmured. Steve hummed in agreement, before twisting his face at the imagery.

Bucky looked down at his drink, permitting the idea of going to the prom with Brock play into his head. He had always had a strange attraction to Brock throughout high school. He liked the masculine alpha musk of the man when he passed by in gym class. It helped that he was easy on the eyes, too. However, Steve had no partner for the dance and Bucky had resolutely volunteered himself so that Steve would not be going stag to senior prom. It was just as well, but Bucky couldn’t shake off his attraction to the Lacrosse team’s captain, Rumlow.

“He always talks big. Big dog with no bite.” Steve shrugged, “And he has no respect for anyone or anything.”

“Like a badly trained dog.” Natasha rose a brow as she looked over Bucky’s considering face.

Bucky smiled and lifted his eyes to his friends, “Well, let’s see if he has the balls to ask me out. In the meantime, another shot. Any takers?”

They all took another round of tequila. It was Bucky’s 18th birthday and the crew had gathered at Tony Stark’s house. The party wasn’t for Bucky, but many of his friends and acquaintances were present. Bucky was drunk and enjoying the pleasant euphoria that the music had created around his friends. He felt happy, content, and perhaps a little on the dizzy side. He grabbed Steve by the wrist and dragged him out to the dancefloor.

“C’mon, let’s go Stevie.” Bucky sing-songed to the tall alpha.  

The alpha had grown over a foot with inches as spares in the last year and a half. From his small, 5’0 frame sprouted the 6’2 dream machine alpha that had the girls and boys fawning over him in the halls. Steve was still getting used to the blessings the puberty gods had granted him, but Bucky still treated him with the same love and intimate friendship they always had. With a big dopey grin, Steve went willingly and began to follow the lead of the fiery omega before him. While Bucky was distracted in leading him to a spot, Natasha put her hand on Steve’s broad shoulder and winked at him encouragingly.

Bucky knew he had sex appeal. Given a couple shots and some liquid courage, Bucky knew how to move his body to the music and entice the attention of others. His scent was always bright and calming to Steve, but right now it was blazing and demanding. Steve felt drunk off of the other’s scent alone. Natasha and Clint were there with them, all dancing together and smiling with laughter and alcohol. Tony had given Steve a thumbs up as he passed by, pointing to Barnes who seemed to be content rubbing up between a Natasha and Clint sandwich.

Bucky noticed the exchange, “Why do you get the thumbs up, Stevie?” He breathed hot in Steve’s ear, making Steve well aware of the effects the omega had on him.

The blond alpha shrugged, “Guess my dancing is better?”

The shorter omega barked a laugh as he pulled Steve on to him by his big shoulders, slotting their hips together as he grinded down on to one of Steve’s thighs. Steve’s eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline as he quickly adjusted himself per Bucky’s guiding as they danced dirty amongst the crowd. It didn’t miss Steve’s attention how Natasha and Clint were drunkenly cheering them on while Bucky laughed and continued his onslaught of dancing. Steve thanked his lucky stars that he could at least keep up a rhythm. Bucky’s lithe, athletic body always brought such comfort to Steve, but tonight it was serving up some inviting scents and ideas to the blonde’s larger body.

It was no secret in Steve’s heart that he loved Bucky. Growing up together in the same neighborhood their whole lives had led to a special intimacy in their friendship that could be rivaled by no one. Steve could read and feel Bucky in ways that he knew normal friends didn’t experience. And it was in those ways that Steve often found himself fantasizing about as his new body also led to new urges. When Bucky had presented as an Omega at the tail end of 8th grade, Steve swore that he had never smelled anything more perfect (and desiring) than Bucky’s array of scent. However, crossing the bridge from friendship into something more was not an avenue that Bucky had expressed interest in. Bucky had always had other love interests. Mostly lovely beta women, and more recently, alpha men. Steve remained hopeful that they could cross that bridge one day. Or tonight, as he had been encouraged by Natasha and Clint (and Tony, Thor, Pepper, Wanda, and Pietro…)

As the night went on, the alcohol eventually brought Bucky to the restroom in the relatively quiet guest bathroom (Tony had been very helpful in pointing out the location with a smirk). He dragged Steve up the stairs and parked him outside the door as he stumbled into the restroom. After relieving himself, Bucky came out to where Steve had positioned himself on the edge of the bed. Bucky smiled at the way Steve was picking at the skin on his thumbs. Nervous habit.

_Why is he nervous?_

“This is a good birthday.” Bucky declared as he belly flopped on to the bed next to Steve. He had danced and grinded up on Steve for the better part of the last hour and reeked of their combined scents. He started to giggle as he remembered Thor streaking through the dancefloor before they made their exit up the stairs to their current location. As he laughed, he rolled on to his back and noticed Steve was watching him carefully. Bucky’s laugh tapered off as he recognized the same look in Steve’s eyes as he had seen in Frank’s all those months ago.

There was something different to it though. Soft. Tender.

Bucky sat up as his scent began to change. He leaned in, loose limbed, and scented Steve’s neck where his most sensitive scenting glands were (at the base of the neck, underneath the jaw, behind his ear). Steve shuddered and put a hand at his chest. It wasn’t unusual for them to scent one another, but this. This was more intimate. More deliberate.

“Why do you always smell so good?” Bucky slurred.

Steve bit his lip and shook his head with a small chuckle, “Bucky-.”

Bucky cut him off, “I love it when you say my name. I love your smell. I love-“

And that was when Bucky felt gravity help nudge him as he kissed Steve. Steve froze at first, making a small sound of surprise, but steadied Bucky with a large hand on each shoulder. Steve eased into the kiss, allowing Bucky to control the touching all together. Of course, tongue and lips became a little more intense as the moments passed. Steve felt his heart surging with need as Bucky returned his kisses. But Bucky was not quite in his right mind, and neither was Steve as their kisses became uncoordinated and the room began to spin.

(…And years down the line, Bucky would wish that he could remember this moment. He would wish with all of his might that he could’ve been sober enough to recognize that this could have been the turning point. This could have been the moment where, if they had both been sober, Bucky could’ve honestly confessed his feelings for Steve. It would've changed things.

Of course, Bucky Barnes was not so lucky.

And neither was Steve, really.)

The reality of what happened was that as Steve was exchanging these tender kisses with Bucky, their combined pheromones of lust and need began to fill the room. Bucky began to snake his hand down into Steve’s pants until Steve put a hand over his and shook his head. Bucky pulled back, looking to him questioningly before pausing and taking a deep breath. His vision was blurred as he looked to Steve in the bright light. As he inhaled the pheromones, his alcohol soaked stomach churned and he quickly pivoted to the side as he threw up all over the side of the bed and onto the alpha’s shoes.

Steve grimaced. “Oh shit. Bucky-”

The brunette quickly stood up from the bed and ran to the bathroom, hand over his mouth, before he made it to the toilet and continued to empty the contents of his stomach. Steve sat on the bed in shock. As the smell of sick, distressed omega increased, Steve got up to join Bucky and rub his back while the omega vomited.

“I drank too much.” Bucky slurred miserably.

The alpha pulled a face at the smell, but agreed. When Bucky had finished emptying what he could, Steve guided him from the bathroom and laid him on the bed. He pulled off a blanket from the end of the bed and mopped up the watery vomit, throwing it then in the bathtub for later cleaning. His shoes joined the tub as well. He grabbed a glass of water from the bathroom sink and joined Bucky on the bed.

“Take a few sips and get some sleep. I’ll text your mom and let her know you’re with me.” He instructed with a tired smile. He drank whatever Bucky didn’t, and went back to chug a second cup of water. He wasn’t as drunk as Bucky, but he could do without having a major hangover the next day.  

Bucky moaned as the room spun underneath and above him, “I’m so sorry, Stevie. I had plans tonight and I blew them.”

Steve turned off the bedroom light and shut the door. He thought privately of his own plans tonight. He had been hoping that he could make a move on Bucky and confess his own feelings, but it seemed that wouldn’t be fair to the omega as he was shit-faced and miserable at present. Tony had given him the guest bedroom with the express purpose of romancing Barnes. The boisterous omega below probably still believed that they were doing just that. Steve padded over to the bed and lifted the covers, joining Bucky on the opposite side. They were no stranger to sharing beds (..and clothing, tooth brushes, food, etc.), but the blonde kept a few inches from the shorter man’s body, watching him carefully as he ran his hand through Bucky’s sweaty short hair.

“The only thing you blew is not drinking enough water.” Steve lamented, watching in the darkness as Bucky’s steel blue eyes grew heavy. Steve began to shut his own eyes, their bodies facing one another on their sides.

“I’m sorry I’m plastered.” The brunette groaned.

“It’s okay, it’s your birthday.”

“I’m sorry I puked on you.”

“It’s okay, it’s your birthday.” Steve repeated again with a slight chuckle.

“I’m not sorry I kissed you.” Bucky whispered.

Steve paused his hand and opened his eyes. Bucky took a heavy breath, giving over to sleep as he nestled in closer to Steve, his forehead resting against his sternum. The blonde smiled softly as he breathed in the man’s scent.

“Happy birthday, Buck.”

As Steve had fallen asleep, he had prayed that the next morning would be tender and romantic. Perhaps they would wake up, confess their feelings, and continue with the tender kisses that Steve would cherish forever.

This was not what happened.

Bucky woke up in a flurry of limbs and bed sheets as he slipped into the bathroom and continued throwing up in the toilet. He groaned loudly, cursing himself, his friends, and all the alcohol on the planet as he finished wiping off his mouth and dragging himself to the sink to drink straight from the faucet and splash water on his face.

Steve was sitting up in bed by the time Bucky dragged himself back out, flopping down face first in the pillows. Steve had a slight headache, but ventured to guess that it was nowhere near the level of the birthday boy’s.

“Rough night?” Steve chuckled, angling his body towards the omega.

Bucky ran his hands through his hair and pulled at his scalp, which was pounding with every heartbeat. He took in a deep breath of the pillow, smelling his sweat there and turning over onto his side. He wracked his brain to remember what the hell had happened the night before. Everything was in bits and pieces. He looked down to see he was still wearing his pants and his shirt. Looking further he found that his shoes were at the end of the bed. He glanced to the blonde to see that he was also still wearing all of his clothes.

He ran his hands down his face. “How embarrassing was I last night?” Bucky mumbled, peaking at Steve through his fingers in the soft light of morning.

Steve took a moment to respond. His brows pinched as he asked, “What do you remember last?”

“I remember enough.” Bucky massaged his pulsing eyelids, taking a deep breath, “I definitely remember you taking me to the bathroom to puke. And that’s…” He looked at Steve, who was looking at him intently, “-and I remember what we did, too.”

Bucky didn’t have the heart to apologize for grinding up on the alpha and rubbing his aroused scent all over the taller man. It wasn’t a fair move to use his sexuality on his best friend. He knew that Steve probably didn’t feel the same way about him, so the thought was slightly mortifying for the omega. Steve was still quiet as he waited for the brunette to continue.

“I-“ Bucky narrowed his eyes in concentration. Everything else was like a fast paced movie. Voices and faces passed by his memories in light and dancing. He couldn’t remember much, and for that he felt incredibly embarrassed. “God, I’m so sorry Steve. Let’s just pretend that nothing happened last night. I think I made a lot of blunders, and I should get a free pass seeing how we got tequila involved with my birthday. You know what tequila does to me, Stevie.”  

The alpha’s eyes saddened as he watched the omega recall the events from last night. Steve felt a pang of regret, knowing he shouldn’t have expected anything from Bucky when the brunette was plastered. He also felt the small tendrils of regret for allowing the omega to kiss him when he was probably so far out of his rationale. Steve reached over and mussed the other’s hair, “I think everyone was in the same boat last night. If you did anything embarrassing, no one will remember. Although you did puke all over my shoes, jerk.”

Bucky’s eyes grew wide, “Shit. The new Adidas your mom got you?”

“Yep.”

“Fuck.”

“It’s okay, Buck.”

“I will be more than happy to clean your shoes for you.” The omega offered.

“I think that will be fair.” Steve smiled softly. He ran his hand through his own hair as he sat back up, pulling his phone from his pocket and checking the time. 8:12 am. “We better head home before your ma kills me.”

Bucky whined out loud. His mother would surely have him doing yard work the moment she realized he had been drinking. Although Winifred Barnes knew her son tried to make the best decisions as a teenager, she was still very strict in her expectations. Tough love, she called it. With Bucky as the eldest and the ‘model example’ to his three younger sisters (Becca, Anna, and Joy), she never let him slip with any foul behavior. When he would come home after drinking, she could smell it on him and typically had him doing more chores as penance for his poor life decisions.

Steve also knew this well since he was an honorary member of the Barnes family. If Bucky was ever missing, it was Steve that Mrs. Barnes was usually calling. She knew Steve got into about as much mischief as Bucky did (i.e., school fights, arguments with teachers, multiple principle office visits), but she always knew that Steve was an honest boy and wouldn’t sugarcoat the truth. Steve was safe with Bucky, and Bucky was safe with Steve. Growing up together since they were three years old had that effect on them.

The pair of them snuck out of the house and noted the different stages of disarray their friends were in. Tony’s parents wouldn’t be home until tomorrow, so there were still plenty of hours for everyone to sort themselves out. Clint and Natasha were notably missing. Bucky smiled to himself in his headache induced haze as Steve led him out to the street where his old Volkswagen Beetle sat parked in the street. They both piled in, Steve, without his shoes, started the car.  The Adidas in question were thrown to the backseat as Bucky curled himself against the door with the window open on the passenger side.

“Sigur Ros?” Steve asked as he flipped through his CD case. Bucky hummed in agreeance.

They drove in companionable silence to their old Brooklyn neighborhood. The traffic was light for a Saturday morning, and as they drove, Bucky dozed in and out of sleep as he tried to deal with his pounding hangover. As they drove into their small neighborhood, Steve maneuvered his Volkswagen into a parallel park outside his house. He shut off the car and looked to Bucky who had a grim expression.

“I’m about to face my punishment.” He proclaimed with a slight whine.

Steve nodded somberly, “May your mother have mercy on your soul.”

Bucky made the sign of the cross as he reached behind the backseat and grabbed Steve’s shoes. “I’m cleaning these for you, by the way.”

The blond chuckled, “How thoughtful.”

Before the brunette exited the vehicle, he ruffled Steve’s hair. He smirked as he said goodbye and dragged himself out of the Beetle to face his hangover and the tough love from his mother (and three younger sisters).

Steve watched him go across the street to the Barnes’ brownstone house, thoughtful and sad all balled up in his stomach.

******

After a well-needed 2 hour nap, Steve dragged himself from his bed and down the stairs to greet his mother with a kiss to the side of her head. Sarah Rogers smiled softly as she side-eyed her son, “How did the birthday celebration go?”

The teenager shrugged, “It was fun. I’m doing well, though I can’t say much for Bucky.”

Sarah chuckled, “I figured. Winifred had him trimming the bushes out front an hour ago. Poor James looked like he was about to fall over.”

The blonde’s eyebrows rose as he took his can of Sprite (his stomach was still in knots) and walked towards the front of the house, peeking through the front window to see the Barnes’s house across the way. Sure enough, the yard looked immaculate. He hummed in reply, “So much for mercy.”

After finishing off his Sprite and some peanut butter toast, Sarah grabbed her purse and the pair of them walked out to the Volkswagen. They were in need of a grocery run and the blonde was excited to have the time with his mom. _  
_

The alpha smiled brightly as he approached his car and noticed a bright yellow sticky note pinned to his driver’s side window.

**Steve,**

**I’m sorry I puked all over your shoes.**

**That was not cool.**

**Can’t wait for our role reversal for your birthday in a few months. ;P**

**Thanks for having my back.**

**Love, Bucky**

He sighed with a smile, tucking the post-it note into his jean pocket as he got into the car. Bucky had a habit for sticking post-it notes to Steve’s things. Steve had a habit for saving every single post-it note Bucky gave him.

This note was no less different, though the blonde couldn’t help but to feel a slight remorse for what the note represented. Bucky had said that he wanted to pretend that nothing had happened last night. The blonde began to wonder if that also included the kiss and the frantic fumbling that the omega had imparted on him. He could’ve replayed the night’s events over and over again in his head, but the sound of his mother’s voice asking what was wrong pulled him from his reverie.

Steve apologized and started the car while mentally storing the night of Bucky’s birthday far away in his mind.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The older VW Beetles don’t have CD players, so imagine that Steve had one installed.  
> I chose Sigur Ros since their music is super calming and when I went to Sebastian Stan’s panel at Wizard World Sacramento, he mentioned that he listened to them to help get him into character. (yay!!)  
> Also, to clarify:  
> Alphas: Steve, Brock, Natasha, Thor  
> Betas: Bruce, Sam, Pepper, Maria, Clint  
> Omegas: Tony, Bucky, Wanda, Pietro
> 
> *Please note that this fic is very Bucky-centric and that Steve may come across a OOC in some parts. I followed the basic storyline for Love, Rosie.... so sorry Steve!  
> Thank you for reading. :)
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)   
>  [twitter](http://twitter.com/AmethystValkyri)   
> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As his heart race quickened, Bucky began to think of all the things an alpha could do to him. Would he turn around and present? Would he allow an alpha to suck on his neck near his bonding glands? Would he allow an alpha to bite his neck and bond with him? Would his body accept a bond bite and go in sync with another? What would a thick knot feel like in his body? Would the alpha moan? Would they say his name sweetly? Would they smell as good as Steve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed rating to Explicit for masturbation in this chapter and some sexual content in the next. (I have the 3rd chapter sent off to my beta, so I’ll hopefully have it posted later this weekend after I edit). Thank you again to the lovely LanyaCelebrian for being my beta reader!

_2 weeks later_

Bucky made no indication that he remembered what he had said or did with Steve on his birthday, and the blonde alpha took it to mean that it had only been drunken endeavors. He was worried about bringing it up to the omega with the thought that Bucky would either be extremely embarrassed by his behavior or worse, regret what he said and did to Steve.  Bucky was back to his cool and collected usual self on Monday, leaving post-it’s on Steve’s locker and walking with him to high school every morning while Becca trudged along behind them. The alpha didn’t want to shake the foundation of their friendship, so he kept the events of the night safely guarded.

It was an early Saturday morning when Bucky was awakened by his youngest sister, Joy, bounding into his room to tackle him. The nine year old was followed closely by Steve, who paused to enjoy the scene of the eldest Barnes slowly waking up at the prompting of his youngest sister. The room smelled strongly of contented omega and family; a scent unique to Bucky that reminded Steve of the crisp sea air and fresh pine. He took a seat at the end of the bed and leaned in to ruffle Bucky’s messy hair. “C’mon, rise and shine, jerk.”

“You’re a real pain in my ass, Rogers.” Bucky bemoaned as Joy jumped off, giving Steve a backwards glance with a gap toothed smile as she exited. The brunette huffed in annoyance, but sat up, running his fingers through his hair to calm the strands.  

 “I thought we were leaving later for the beach.”

“We’re meeting with Nat and Wanda earlier.” Steve stretched his arms above his head and looked to the glow-in-the-dark stars that littered the ceiling of Bucky’s room. He smiled fondly at the memory of when they were 8 years old, sticking the stars and constellations just so while Bucky referenced his astronomy books to be sure Ursa Major and Ursa Minor were in the right positions.

Bucky’s room was cluttered with all the things Steve loved about him. His paper riddled desk was immediately next to his bed, his bookshelf was filled with science-fiction novels, comic books, and engineering books. In the corner sat Bucky’s acoustic guitar and his boxing gloves hanging above. On the walls were posters of NASA space crafts, favorite bands, and photographs taken over the years. A few of Steve’s drawings and post-its had also made their way onto his walls.

This was a second home to Steve.

Bucky maneuvered out of bed and began getting dressed. There was no shame between the two of them, but Steve did find himself staring when the time wasn’t appropriate. To busy himself, he grabbed a piece of loose paper from the drafts at Bucky’s desk, smiling when he found a drawing of a space shuttle on the paper. He immediately began drawing an astronaut to accompany it while Bucky changed into jeans, a Metallica t-shirt, and a long-sleeved plaid shirt. He turned around just as Steve tacked up the finished work to the corkboard over his desk.

“So, something interesting happened yesterday.” Bucky announced as he grinned at the alpha’s drawing. He averted his gaze back to the blonde. “Brock asked me to the dance.”

Steve’s eyebrows almost vanished into his hairline. He felt his stomach drop, but then thought twice about his reaction and took a deep breath, trying to mask the unease. “Really?”

 “Yeah.” Bucky looked back down at his chaotic desk.

Steve mulled over Bucky’s body language. He was nervous for the alpha’s reply and approval.

“If you want to go with him, you should.” Steve felt like the world’s biggest hypocrite. It wasn’t truly what he wanted, but he knew that Bucky had been interested in Brock for a while. It wasn’t that Brock had completely irredeemable qualities; he was athletic, he was social and popular, and he was- well, to Steve he was an asshole. He couldn’t find it in him to even respect the fellow alpha. But Bucky needed his best friend’s counsel, not Steve’s conflicted feelings getting in the way. “If he’s terrible at the dance, I’ll be there to step on your feet if you need a new partner.”

Bucky brightened and nodded in agreement, “Thanks, Stevie.”

“It’s just a dance. What’s the harm in it?” Steve pulled Bucky along as they went down the stairs, pulling their shoes on by the door before they began to walk down the 4 blocks to Wanda and Pietro’s house.

 ******

Steve was sitting in the sand when Bucky trudged over, taking his place beside the other for warmth. It was late March and the air was cool enough to merit a blanket. Bucky handed Steve a soda and at the same time, they opened their cans of Coca-Cola and took sips.

“Nat isn’t too pleased with me.” Bucky sighed.

“I wonder why.” Steve snorted.

“It isn’t all bad. It’s not like I’m signing away my life to this guy. I get that he isn’t the best person around, but-“

“But he’s been your crush for the most part of our high school years. I know, I’ve been with you through it.” The blonde turned his attention to Bucky with a pointed look. “It’s okay, Buck. Don’t stress about it.”

Bucky huffed while he looked down to the sand. The duo sat in companionable silence, their arms nudged against one another as they watched their friends in a game of volleyball. Bucky knew that going out with Brock may not be the best idea, but he had harbored a crush on the man since they entered high school. Brock had on-again, off-again girlfriends that never allowed Bucky a perfect window to Brock’s graces. But now it was his chance. Bucky lent it to hormones in the end, seeing as how every time he was around Brock, he gravitated towards his deep earthen scent.

While Bucky was thinking of his earlier, more embarrassing encounters with Rumlow, a familiar face approached the two of them. Bucky felt Steve stiffen beside him, his nerves growing hot as Sharon Carter stood before them in a short dress and sweater combination.

“Hey Steve, I missed you yesterday at the library.” Sharon stated with a brow raised, “I was wondering if we would be on for Monday instead.”

Steve stumbled over his words for a moment, “Uh, yeah, that would be- cool. Yeah. Sorry about yesterday. I had to run an errand for my mom.”

Sharon smiled brightly.  “It’s okay. And we’re on for Wednesday night too, right?”

The blonde alpha nodded.

Bucky couldn’t help but to stare carefully at the blonde omega in front of them. Sharon was beautiful. She was tough, unrelenting, and fearless in her endeavors. Bucky would say that he admired her if he didn’t also feel twinges of jealousy towards her. She was blonde, blue eyed, and as radiant as the sun. Bucky ran his hand over his jaw, feeling the stubble growing from a missed shave. He knew that his designation as an omega didn’t define who he was, but he couldn’t help but sometimes feel a little less attractive next to his female counterparts.  

In the media, male omegas were shown to be thin, waif-like beautiful creatures with a strong androgynous vibe. Bucky had nothing against it, but it was the dominating cultural view of a male omega that quite frankly, did not match Bucky’s body type or physical appearance. It didn’t encompass the ‘average’ look of an omega, nor did the media celebrate the different physical traits male omegas harbored. Female omegas were viewed as celestial like creatures. Male omegas (who were less common in numbers) were viewed with split scrutiny over their appearance and function.

In society, there were different rights for the varying designations. Although the Omega Rights Movement took place over twenty year ago, there were still remaining stereotypes and attitudes towards omegas that percolated into media and pop culture. For male omegas, their emotions, appearances, and behaviors were repeatedly under scrutiny. Bucky had struggled with his own concepts of his femininity and his masculinity. (To which Winifred Barnes had told his 14-year-old self, “To hell with any asshole who tries to tell my boy he isn’t feminine or masculine enough! You’re perfect however you are.”)

It was a topic that Bucky tried not to dwell on. Pietro, Tony, and he were all male omegas who didn’t meet society’s twisted views of male omegas, and they were all fine with it. Ever since he presented though, Bucky had heard all of the nasty and vulgar names and ideas that were associated with male omegas. He wondered if Sharon ever felt the same scrutiny. He wondered if Sharon ever experienced someone on the street calling her a breeder.

The brunette was so lost in thought that when he came to, Steve was waving a hand over his face. He looked up to see Sharon’s retreating form as she rejoined the volleyball game.

“Everything okay in your head?” Steve looked concerned, though he tried to play it off with a soft look in his eyes. The omega nodded, taking a drink of his soda.

“I was completely invisible to her.” Bucky pointed out.

Steve blushed as he traced the rim of his soda can. He was quiet, mulling over his thoughts.

“Seriously, I’m invisible next to you.” Bucky bumped shoulders with him.

“Sharon asked me to the dance earlier.”

The brunette shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was nonetheless. Sharon and Steve had been friends for most of high school, and the pair of them made a beautiful sight. Steve was shit at talking to women, but Sharon was strong in a way that made it easy for Steve to open up. They had gone on some dates before, but it was never anything that led to more. The alpha’s status as virgin still stood, and Bucky would be lying if he said he wasn’t somewhat pleased by that.

“I think the two of you will be swell together.”

“You think so?” Steve questioned hopefully. “I wasn’t sure, but it feels right.”

“Then if it feels right, you should go.” Bucky dug his toes into the sand, watching as the particles buried them, “And if she leave you for stepping on her feet, I’ll be there to teach you proper.”

Steve threw his head back and laughed, hand running over his chest. He shoved at Bucky, “You’re such a jerk.”

“Punk.” Bucky chuckled, shoving back.

 

* * *

 

Bucky was with Natasha at the mall the next day, slurping on a Jamba Juice while Natasha combed through the racks of dresses and formal wear. She had set a few choices onto Bucky’s arm while they walked along the rows, her eyes careful and calculating. Natasha had a certain look in mind and was on the prowl.

“Sharon isn’t a bad match for Steve. You know you have no right to be upset, seeing how you’re going with Rumlow.” The red haired alpha was quick to point out the root of Bucky’s sulking. She glanced at him accusingly, “You brought this on yourself.”

“I know. I should be happy for him, but instead I’m acting like an ass.” The brunette wasn’t about to defend his behavior towards Steve. He was the first one to bring up going with someone else. He had asked Steve over and over if the alpha was okay with it, to which every time Steve had told him it was no big deal; it was just a dance.

“Do you love Steve?”

Bucky bit his lip, brows pinched, “Well, yeah. He’s family. We grew up together.”

Natasha gave him a long, calculating look. When Bucky didn’t further expand, she sighed and grabbed one last gown from the rack before directing Bucky towards the dressing room. They both went into one of the larger dressing rooms, the omega hanging up the attire choices and taking a seat on the bench while Natasha began to take off her clothes.

The two of them had been friends since middle school.  They met in a dance elective course and the rest was history. Natasha and Bucky had been close ever since then, and although Natasha presented as an alpha around the same time Buck presented as an omega, they never fully crossed that barrier. They had made out, fooled around, but never anything beyond the careful exploration of two youths.

Having grown up with three younger sisters, a headstrong mother, overbearing aunts, and Mrs. Rogers across the street, Bucky was very comfortable living in a world dominated by women. He helped Natasha zip in and out of her garment choices, and prided himself on having a good eye for fashion. The omega was also a master at styling hair.

When the red-headed alpha slipped into a black shiny V-neck jumper, Bucky took pause. Nat smiled at him through her reflection in the mirror.

“This one?”

“That one.” Bucky smiled widely.

After the pair exited the dressing room, Natasha led them to the lingerie section and began to look through the selections of garters and laced underwear. Bucky skimmed through the selection as well, holding a few options for her.

“Are you going to sleep with him?” Natasha asked frankly.

The last time Bucky had slept with an alpha, it had been Frank Castle. That had been months ago and it turned out to be a very awkward experience. It hadn’t been awful, but the awkwardness of teenage fumbling and the fact that they almost got caught in his car was enough to make the brunette a little on edge. He had enjoyed the experience, but it was a one night stand and Frank was gone to college now. Since then, no other alphas had attracted him other than Rumlow.

However, there had been some embarrassing instances with Steve. The few times that Bucky had gone into heat, he had scented Steve heavily and found his body responding in earnest. The alpha was always polite when it happened and got him home and settled during the instances that a pre-heat presented during school. He had wanted Steve’s knot, curious to see where their boundaries could go, but it was an act they never crossed.

To think of having sex with Brock was both thrilling and nerve-wracking for Bucky. The idea of a male alpha taking control and ravishing him made him hot, though he wondered if that was just ‘biology’ speaking. 

“I might.” He responded honestly. “I’ll just have to see where the night goes.”

“Well, you might need these then.” Natasha held up some black laced underwear with a raised brow.

Bucky snatched the pair from her hands.

 

* * *

The heat that greeted Bucky on Tuesday was a whole week early from its actual due date. The omega woke up in the early hours of the morning, his stomach cramping and his brow thick with sweat. In his still slightly sleepy haze, the omega crawled with shaky legs from his bed and grabbed some medicine from his desk drawer to help relieve the cramps and aching. He was cold and hot at the same time, feeling like his skin was crawling in a constant buzz. After he swallowed the pills down dry, he collapsed back underneath his covers and moaned in frustration as his teeth chattered and shoulders shook.

An hour later, Becca came into the room to wake him up for school. Upon opening the door she instantly smelled the heavy heat pheromones radiating off of her older brother. She walked to his bed and shook his shoulder, “Hey, you okay?”

Bucky grunted, “M’fine. Just sucks.” He kept his eyes close as he rode through the dull aches in his abdomen like a wave.

Becca herself had presented as a beta, so she was spared from the intense heats that plagued her brother. She rubbed her hand on her brother’s shoulder, taking pity on him, “I’ll let Steve know you’re tied up.” She got up from the bed and went to Bucky’s closet, pulling out a box that said ‘survival pack’. Inside were all the things Bucky used to get him through the days that he was on his heat.

The older boy immediately pulled the sheets down, staring at his sister with an intense blush. She handed the box to him, which he took quickly and shoved in the corner of his bed, covering it with a pillow. Becca smirked knowingly.

“Hold up, let me write something for Steve.” Bucky pulled out a post-it note pad and quickly scribbled a message down, handing it to his sister when he was done.

 

**Steve,**

**Biology is kicking my ass this week.**

**Don’t do anything stupid.**

**Love, Bucky**

 Becca read it quickly, shoved it into her pocket, and gave her condolences as she shut the door behind her and left Bucky to fish through his box and pull out a small plug.

He cursed his biology as he laid back, feeling with his fingers where the slick was runny and glistening between his legs. His dick lay half-hard against his leg, interested in the proceedings but feeling tender and raw. Outside of his room, he heard the voices of his little sisters as they got ready for school. Cursing, he lay the plug to the side underneath the blanket and tried to fall back to sleep. He was resolutely not going to masturbate until his family was gone and he had some privacy. It was embarrassing enough that his heat smell would fill up the house by the end of the day. His family didn’t need to hear him moan either.

When he heard his father leave for work, Becca leave for high school, and Anna and Joy leave with his mom for school, he carefully pulled the plug back out from underneath the blanket. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he ran his right hand down his stomach, over his abdomen, and along the length of his slowly hardening dick. He was average length for an omega, but with a pleasant thick girth.

He used the slick from his opening to help lubricate his hand as he began touching himself, pulling in long drawn out strokes that had him moaning softly in the quiet of his room. While his right hand kept up the pace, his left hand explored his body. He ran his fingers over one of his nipples, tweaking it hard as he imagined someone biting and playing with his chest. His free hand eventually snaked its way behind his balls, rubbing over his perineum before breaching his soaked through entrance with one finger. It didn’t take long for a second to join as he slowly worked himself open with the thoughts of an alpha on his mind.

As he got closer, he thought of what it might be like with Rumlow. Would Brock be tender and controlling? Would he be rough? Would he eat out Bucky’s ass before fingering him with his thick digits? The omega’s breath quickened at the idea of tongue and fingers opening him up, stretching him out before taking a hard, long cock.

As his heart race quickened, he began to think of all the things an alpha could do to him. Would Bucky turn around and present? Would he allow an alpha to suck on his neck near his bonding glands? Would he allow an alpha to bite his neck and bond with him? Would his body accept a bond bite and go in sync with another? What would a thick knot feel like in his body? Would the alpha moan? Would they say his name sweetly? Would they smell as good as Steve?

And he gasped, thinking of Steve pushing his thick cock in him, knotting him and kissing him tenderly along his neck, running his teeth along his scent glands. He came in thick spurts against his stomach, eyes rolling in the back of his head as he thought of Steve biting his nipples and gripping his ass. He reached for the plug, guiding it into his body as his muscles tightened around it, holding it in place and soothing the steady ache.

Sweat ran down his body in thick droplets, the scent of satisfied omega heavy in the air. Bucky lay staring at the ceiling in shock and wondered what his body really wanted.

******

It was around noon when Winifred knocked on Bucky’s door. The omega had already gone through three waves of his heat by now and was feeling slightly more human. His mom came in the room with a tray of lunch.

“How’re you feeling?” Winifred asked as she set the tray on his desk and reached over to feel his forehead. Bucky sat up in bed, leaning towards the calm of his mother’s omega scent while she took his temperature. She soothed his hair back from his sweaty forehead.

“I’m fine.” Bucky breathed, eyeing the tray of food. “Just feel terrible.”

His mother hummed in agreeance as she handed him a bottle of Gatorade and some multi-vitamins. Bucky took them gratefully and downed half of the Gatorade in a few gulps. He also eyed two bottles of cold water, a grilled cheese sandwich, carrots, and a bowl of tomato soup.

“I think that after you eat, you should go ahead and take a shower so I can put some new sheets on for you.” His mother smiled sympathetically. She understood what he was going through better than most and wasn’t shy about their biology. Bucky was grateful that he never felt alienated because of his designation. In his family, being an omega was never frowned upon. Of course it lead to some uncomfortable conversations about dating, sex, and childbirth, but Bucky’s mother was a firm believer in good sex education and would not have her children uninformed. (This included Steve as well, to which George Barnes had given Steve a good talking to about the life lived as an alpha. Sarah Rogers had appreciated the way that George welcomed them into the family and treated Steve like a second son; especially when he presented as an alpha.)

******

When Becca came home after school, she found Bucky passed out asleep on his bed. She stuck a returning post-it note to his forehead.

**Bucky,**

**You take all the stupid with you. :p**

**Take care of yourself.**

**Yours, Steve**

When Bucky had awoken and read the message, he smiled in satisfaction before riding through another wave of his heat. This time, he fantasized about broad shoulders and muscled arms pinning him to the bed while he ran his fingers through blonde hair. He couldn’t find himself to feel even slightly ashamed at the images his brain conjured to get him off.

 ******

It was early in the evening on Friday when a familiar knock on Bucky’s door broke him from his concentration. He was sitting up in bed, reading a science fiction novel while eating licorice. He took a deep inhale, and smelled the familiar scent of Steve. He smelled like sandalwood and musk that was all unique to him, which immediately brought a twist of excitement in his gut. Bucky cursed.

“Is it safe to enter?” Steve asked.

“Enter at your own risk!” Anna called out from across the hall.

Steve chuckled, “Hey, I brought your homework from class. I know Becca had a soccer game so I thought I’d come by with it and see you.”

Bucky pulled on a wolf t-shirt before walking over to the door and opening it for the blonde alpha. The omega was wearing loose pajama pants and didn’t smell as heavy of heat pheromones as he did days before. By now, he was mostly finished with his heat and was only riding the last few waves of discomfort. He had left his window open and a scent diffusing candle going all day, so Steve wouldn’t be affronted by the smell. “Be my guest.” He waved inside.

The blonde smiled politely as he went over to the desk, setting down the homework before pulling out the desk chair, taking a seat. Bucky sat across from him on his bed.

“Seems like you’re doing well.” Steve looked pointedly at the junk food beside Bucky’s bed and the novel sitting on his pillow.

“Have nothing better to do.” Bucky waved off the sweets, knowing that if his mother were to come in she would berate him for eating junk. “How are you?”

“Well, I have some exciting news for you.”

Bucky straightened. “Oh?”

The alpha reddened in the face, biting his lip as he looked down at the floor. He was nervous and shy, which all at once had Bucky’s sharp focus.

“I’m a virgin no longer.” Steve announced with a shy tilt of his head.

The omega should’ve felt joyous. His reaction should’ve been jumping for joy that finally, after years of trying to set up dates for Steve, the alpha was able to experience one of life’s major milestones. Instead, Bucky immediately felt his ears begin to ring. He licked his lips, “Shit, that’s- Wow.” Steve was still looking to him, and Bucky felt like the world’s biggest ass. He took a deep breath and continued, “I’m in shock. Who’s the unlucky girl? Or guy?”

Steve’s smile widened, “It’s Sharon. We uh, well, after the date, it went exceedingly well and that’s when it happened. Afterwards, of course, not during. On Wednesday night.”

_Wednesday night? Why didn’t he tell me immediately? I told him when I lost mine immediately!_

Bucky felt the licorice hardening in his stomach, but he smiled anyways, reaching out to clasp Steve’s broad shoulder. “Congratulations, Stevie. I’m happy for ya.”

The blonde nodded bashfully, pleased. “We’re going out again tonight. She’s coming over around 6, so I better head out and get the house ready. Mom has a night shift.”

The alpha stood up and pushed the desk chair back in. Bucky felt lost for a moment. Friday nights were usually their nights to watch movies and hangout. Would it be like this every Friday night? He took a deep breath, calming his nerves while Steve began to walk to the door unaware of the inner turmoil wracking his friend’s mind.

“See you later this weekend?” Steve asked as he turned.

Bucky hummed in agreement.

“Text me if you need anything!” Steve smiled, before the pink in his cheeks came back “And wish me luck.”

The brunette forced a smile, “Be safe, Steve.”

The blonde left with that grin still plastered on his face and Bucky wanted nothing more than to throw a book at his door.

He settled for immediately texting Natasha.

 **JamesB:** Did you know that Steve lost his v-card?

Bucky didn’t need to wait long for her response.

 **Nat** : He didn’t tell you???

 **JamesB:** He did just now. Stopped by my house.

 **Nat:** Maybe he wanted to tell you in person.

 **JamesB** : I would get that, but losing his virginity is something he would’ve told me about ASAP.

 **Nat:** Well, he has been preoccupied.

 **JamesB:** ????

 **Nat:** With Sharon. They’re going out again.

 **JamesB** : Fuck.

 **Nat** : Would you like some company?

 **JamesB** : I need some slasher films and some popcorn.

 **Nat** : I’ll bring some ice cream and Hawkeye. Be there in 20.

It was moments like these that the brunette appreciated his friends far more than he could ever express. Natasha brought over two pints of different flavored ice cream with Clint tailing in after her with a selection of DVDs. It was how Bucky found himself sitting sandwiched between the pair on his bed while they watched from his laptop _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_.

They didn’t talk about Steve or Sharon. Bucky wasn’t sure he could really put in words how he was feeling or what those feelings meant.

* * *

 

_Mid-April_

On the night of senior prom, the brunette felt like a wreck. The past few weeks had been a gag fest as he watched his best friend getting pulled away with Sharon to be adorable in their perfect Alpha-Omega relationship. He knew he wasn’t being fair in his bitterness, but he felt it when Steve began to fill up his time with his girlfriend. Friday movie night was replaced with party of 1, and Bucky couldn’t justify butting into Nat and Clint’s time together. They were a couple too, though they were much more low-key and casual about it. Thus, Bucky begrudgingly watched films on his laptop or found himself grabbing his boxing gloves to join his dad at the gym.

It wasn’t as if Steve was making out with Sharon in front of him, it was just that Sharon was now the one getting shotgun in the Beetle and notes on _her_ locker. It felt a bit like betrayal, but Bucky tried to remind himself that he had no right to Steve’s love life. Even when his knees hurt from sitting squished in the back of the Beetle and her sweet peony scent made his nose itch, he repeated in his head like a mantra, _Be nice, Barnes._

In the meantime, Brock had made himself more visible in the omega’s life. He didn’t hang out with Bucky during school hours, but he was sure to smile at him and tell him that he was really looking forward to prom. He even took Bucky out for lunch one weekend, but was joined by some of his friends halfway through the date. The brunette omega would have been annoyed if he wasn’t so starved for attention.

(And wasn’t that something for him to think about…the lack of attention from his alpha best friend turned into a need for attention from another alpha. Bucky wondered if perhaps his biology really did define some of his feelings.)

 In preparation for prom, he had shaved as closely as he could; only resulting in a few nicks on his face. In the bathroom, he had used a bikini trimmer to tidy up his nether regions in preparation for the lacy black underwear he had bought with Nat. He made sure to put on the extra lotion and fussed with his hair for the better part of 20 minutes while his mother squawked at him outside the door that Steve would be over soon to pick him up. He had been to plenty of dances, had danced well with many partners, yet his nerves were picking at his stomach.

In his bedroom, he stood before the mirror on the back of his door, looking over the expanse of his omega skin. He had draped his towel over the back of his chair and was naked, surveying the pros and cons of his body and wondering if Brock would like what he saw. He felt that he was handsome enough for a male omega, though he was thicker than most of the dainty omega men he’d seen in magazine and on TV. His thighs were thick with muscle, and his upper body was chorded with defined strength afforded to him through boxing and baseball. He tried not to dwell too long on his left arm, which was scarred over at the shoulder to forearm from burns he sustained in a car accident when he was 7.

He wasn’t as big as Rumlow, nor was he nearly as chiseled. Bucky wondered why Brock finally asked him out after dating a stream of girls. Was he testing the waters? Was it because Bucky was an omega? He searched his brain for reasoning when there was suddenly a knock at the door. He reached for his towel, lightning fast, and secured it around his waist.

“I know I’m early, but ma is busy chatting up your mom and I need help.” Steve called from the other side.

“Hold up!” Bucky replied. He searched his bed and found the lacy black underwear. He slipped them on underneath his towel, securing them before rushing to get his dress pants on.

He heard Steve snicker on the other side “You alive in there?”

 “Peachy, yeah.” Bucky fumbled with the zipper on his pants before he opened the door for Steve. The sight that greeted him nearly took his breath away.  

The blonde alpha was wearing a clean cut tux, complete with gelled back hair and shiny new shoes. He looked beautiful- every bit of power and appeal an alpha could have, Steve seemed to have in spades. Notably missing was the red tie, which Steve was holding in his hand. Bucky turned away from him before his face said too much. He grabbed his black undershirt, wiggling it on before grabbing the black over shirt and buttoning it up.

“What do you think?” Steve asked, sounding a little self-conscious.

The omega turned to look back at him as he tucked in his shirt. Bucky had decided on a black on black suit with silver accents. It was slimming and beautiful, but he was nowhere near the image Steve had.

“You look like a million dollar Dorito, jerk.” the brunette smirked, eyeing the shoulder to hip ratio that Steve was sporting in the suit. It truly wasn’t fair that anyone could have a physique like that.

Steve looked affronted at first, but laughed, glancing at himself in the mirror. “I rented the nicest one I could find. I thought Sharon might like it.”

“She’ll like it all right.” Bucky muttered, smoothing out his shirt and cuffs so that no wrinkles were present.

 The brunette omega finished securing the silver tie to his suit before helping Steve with his. Bucky slipped on his black jacket and smiled brightly towards his friend. “Ready, Stevie?”

The alpha paused him at the door and picked off the little white pieces of toilet paper on Bucky’s jaw from shaving. After his jaw was cleared, the man nodded in approval.

Although they were going with separate people, they would be driving to the event to take all of their prom photos. Brock, Sharon and her friends were already at the hotel venue where the prom would be taking place. They would be meeting everyone in the lobby where the professional photographer would be snapping pictures of the event.

Before they left, the two of them were stopped by Winifred who began snapping pictures with her own camera, phone, and Sarah’s phone. Sarah Rogers looked like the proudest mom Bucky had ever seen. Her eyes seemed misty as she looked to Steve, who looked so much like his late dad. Bucky’s three sisters were piled around the room as well and were eventually forced to take a picture with the well-dressed boys.

As they walked out with George Barnes accompanying them, the older man stopped Bucky and rested his hands on his shoulders. He looked to Steve pointedly as well.

“I know this is a special night for you boys and I want you both to be safe. If you find yourselves in trouble, I will have my cell phone on me. No judgment, no questions.” George instructed.

Bucky nodded, “Thanks, dad.” At the same time Steve murmured, “Thank you, sir.”

George took a deep breath and released his grip, giving Bucky a hug before reaching over and hugging Steve. As he straightened his stance, he gave the boys a very stern look. “Now, I know your mother will kill me if I don’t ask, but did you pack rubbers with you?”

Bucky looked horrified, groaning, “Dad!”

The blonde alpha beside him nodded firmly, “Yes, sir. I have some.”

“Good. As I said, be safe.” George smiled warmly at his son, who was still recovering from embarrassment. “Enjoy the night. We’ll see you two in the morning.”

Bucky shouldered his duffle bag and all but ran across the street to Steve’s car. He threw his bag in the backseat while Steve situated himself in the driver’s spot.

“That was mortifying.” Bucky muttered.

The blonde could only laugh at the others expense as they drove off to the hotel. The school dance was taking place at the hotel’s swanky ballroom and the group had all booked rooms for the night. Bucky was nervous, knowing he had lied to his parents about rooming with Brock. He had said that he and Steve were rooming together and that they were meeting their dates there. Of course, his dad’s pep talk seemed to prove that his parents were not naïve and knew that Bucky would be staying with Brock, just as Steve would be staying with Sharon. It was agreed that they would all meet and take pictures with their group once they got to the hotel backdrop.

Until then, Bucky enjoyed having the front seat with Steve. For a few minutes he had the alpha all to himself, and everything felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the feedback! I appreciate the support. If you’re wondering where Peggy and Sam are in all of this, they will be coming in future chapters. :) 
> 
> To clarify the ages of Bucky’s sisters: Becca is 16, Anna is 13, and Joy is 9. In the MCU wikia it said Bucky was the oldest of 4 kids, but I could only find Becca’s name, so I tried my best with the other 2. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated!  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the alpha was in front of him, the brunette walked up to Steve and pushed his forehead against the taller man’s sternum, wrapping his arms around Steve’s middle and taking deep shuddering breaths. The alpha wrapped his arms around him and held him, resting his cheek on the top of the omega’s messy brown hair.
> 
> “Hey, Buck. It’s going to be okay.” Steve murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look at the warnings in the tags! There are some rape/Non-con elements and drug use (not by the main characters) in this chapter, as well as a hospital visit. Also some discussions of omega anatomy.

Checking into the hotel and making their way to their floor was when the nerves began to coil in Bucky’s stomach. The nervous excitement wrapped around his earthy pine scent.  The younger alpha took notice and nudged him, but Bucky brushed it off with a shrug of his shoulders. They had picked up one room key, which was technically for Steve and Sharon.

Upon arriving to their floor, they were greeted by familiar faces from their high school as students were getting ready and taking candid pictures on their phones. Clint waved them down, jogging over in his deep burgundy colored suit. On anyone else, it would look ridiculous. However, Clint looked dashing next to Natasha, who wore the black V-neck jumpsuit with a deep burgundy bracelet to match.

 “You both look gorgeous.” Steve complimented the pair.

“And you look like you walked out of the pages of GQ magazine.” Clint approved. “And Bucky…you look like a Russian hitman.”

Natasha reached out and straightened Bucky’s silver tie. “Sharon is just down the hall, Steve. She’s in Wanda and Janet’s room waiting for you. Room 217. Clint and I are right across from you both.. And you-“ she did a last pull on the brunette’s tie, “Brock is in room 223. I have to admit, your date does look good in a suit.”

Bucky’s excitement heightened, “I’ll have to go see for myself.”

“We’re taking photos in the lobby in 10 minutes! Keep your hands to yourselves!” Clint hollered as Bucky made his way down the hall and around the corner towards his date. As he passed by, he could see his friends were all in the same floor as him. It was reassuring to see Tony and Pepper pre-gaming with Rhodey and his date, Maria. He waved to them as he passed by. He also caught a glimpse of Sharon, Wanda, and Janet, but only offered a head nod before proceeding to his room.  

The door was slightly ajar as he approached, so he knocked before coming in all of the way. He was immediately bombarded by the scents of different alphas. In the room were Lukin, Schmidt, and Rumlow. Lukin had a beautiful blonde beta in his lap on the chair that Bucky vaguely remembered from Chemistry last year, and Schmidt was sitting next to a short brunette who eyed Bucky critically from the loveseat.  

Brock looked rugged and cut in his dark gray suit and black tie. Bucky greeted them all with a nod of his head, “Hey.”

“You look great, sweetheart.” Brock stood up from his seat on the bed, walking over to Bucky and giving him a look over. Bucky set his duffle at the end of the bed, ignoring the fact that Brock never really called him by his name. It was usually pet names or ‘Barnes’ when he addressed the omega.

“You clean up nicely too, Rumlow.” Bucky reached his hand out, smoothing down the lapel of Brock’s suit. The two did make a handsome duo, and Bucky felt a twinge of excitement for what the night had in store.

Lukin stood up with his date, “We will see you guys downstairs.” He pulled out a small bag and popped a light blue pill in his mouth, handing one over to his date and then to Schmidt and his date. Schmidt held out the bag to Bucky and Brock, but they both passed on it.

“Suit yourselves.” Schmidt stated. The four of them left, leaving Bucky alone for the first time with the tall and broad alpha.

Bucky looked at the tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome alpha who stood before him. Brock’s gaze was almost predatory as he bit his lip, getting close into the omega’s space. The shorter brunette’s heart raced a mile a minute as he felt large hands frame his hip, pulling him closer.

“Are you going to stay with me in here tonight?” Brock asked in a low voice.

The omega immediately felt his body respond, breath hitched. “Maybe if you play your cards right.”

This response earned a pleased smile from the alpha, and Bucky couldn’t help but internally preen at the approval.

******

“You look amazing!” Sharon was all smiles as Steve entered the room to greet her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, landing him a sweet kiss on the lips.

Wanda and Janet made swooning ‘ooos’ and ‘aaaahs’ behind them, causing the taller blonde alpha to redden in the cheeks.

Sharon straightened herself up in front of him, looking like a complete knockout in a red body-con dress. She rushed back to the bed and picked up her small suitcase, swatting at her friends who were still giggling.

After Steve showed them their room, he began to rummage through his backpack, looking for his toothbrush when his hand brushed against a familiar yellow note that was bunched up. He glanced up to find that Sharon was already in the bathroom applying her lipstick. He carefully unfolded the note.

 

**Stevie,**

**I lost my gym shorts. Can I borrow yours?**

**I know yours are big, but I have one of my sister’s hair ties.**

**I have gym @ 6 th period. **

**Love, Bucky**

It was an old note from a few months ago and the memory of it caused Steve to smile fondly. Bucky had worn Steve’s dirty gym shorts and had taken the excess waistband to tie behind him with his sister’s hair tie. It had done odd things to his inner possessive alpha to see his best friend wearing his baggy shorts at the end of school.

He folded the note carefully and placed it to the front pocket of his bag.

That one was a keeper.

******

 After group photos and enough selfies to last Bucky and Steve the year, the group entered the ballroom for prom. They ate dinners at their tables and once the dance started, migrated to the main floor. Steve and Sharon looked picture perfect as she guided him along the dance floor, smiling and laughing with him as he tried to keep up with her dance movies. Steve could be a big meatball at times, but Sharon was good to encourage him and take the lead.

On Bucky’s front, he was getting used to not being the one in the lead for a change. Brock was very adamant about leading and very forward about showing Bucky what he liked. The omega would’ve been annoyed if not for the fact that Rumlow was devastatingly good looking in his suit.

There were a few instances where Steve and Sharon gravitated over towards them, Bucky smiling in relief to see that the blonde was catching on with the dance moves. It was light-hearted and fun until the slower romantic songs drawled over the loud speaker.

The omega looked around the room to see all of his friends pairing up with their dates, some already making out as the music set the mood. Rumlow pulled Bucky close, smiling with a self-satisfied air.

“How’re you doin, gorgeous?” Brock asked.

“I’m feeling alright. You?”

The taller man moved his hand towards Bucky’s backside as he leant in, his lips close to the omega’s ear, “Your scent has been driving me crazy for hours. You smell so good, baby. Anyone ever tell you that?”

Bucky felt his heart rate accelerate, his mouth at a loss for words. He usually felt more in control in these situations, but Brock made him feel wild.

He looked around the room quickly, wondering if anyone else could smell his arousal. There were so many aromas filling up the room that the omega hoped no one could smell him. He did smell the strong musky scent of Steve and pin-pointed him on the dancefloor where he was making out with Sharon. 

“Do you want to get out of here? It’s getting late.” Rumlow nipped at Bucky’s neck, causing the omega’s eyes to roll shut. It felt good. Brock felt good.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Bucky agreed. Brock looked pleased as he took the omega’s hand, kissing his knuckles before leading him off of the dancefloor.

Bucky’s quick absence didn’t go unnoticed by Steve or Natasha.

******

As they entered their hotel room, Bucky checked the clock on his phone to see that it was only 9:52. They had left earlier than he thought, but he was excited for the upcoming proceedings. In the elevator, Brock turned and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair before kissing him intensely.

Bucky immediately allowed his body to melt into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the alpha’s shoulders as they made out roughly in the elevator. Bucky would’ve been embarrassed with the other couple in the elevator present, but his hormones didn’t prompt him to care or think conservatively.

Brock led them to their room, opening the door and locking it behind him when they made their way inside. The click of the latch had the brunette omega pause, “Let me just freshen up real quick.”

“Take your time, sweetheart.” Brock was taking off his jacket, throwing it on to the back of a chair as Bucky shut himself in the restroom, his heart beating a mile a minute.

He steadied himself in front of the sink, running his hand over his mouth where his lips were already beginning to feel sore from Brock’s onslaught and his rugged five o’clock shadow.

 He used the restroom and splashed water on his face before he rejoined the bigger man in the main room.

Brock was seated at the end of the bed, his tie already off and hanging with his jacket. He had also taken off his socks and shoes and was presently unbuttoning his shirt, smiling slyly.

“You all good, doll?”

The omega’s demure smile lifted at the corner of his mouth. He leaned down, taking off his shoes and throwing them to the side. His jacket went next.

Brock smiled widely, “Oh baby, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” He reached his hand out, taking Bucky’s wrist and pulling him into his lap. The omega was only slightly smaller than Rumlow, but the alpha had more muscle mass. The omega straddled the older man’s lap and grinded down.  The alpha mouthed at Bucky’s neck while his hands worked the tie off of his neck. He then unbuttoned Bucky’s shirt quickly, moving to pull it off.

Bucky’s breath hitched, “Shit, wait- Uh, my arm-“

Rumlow had already pulled his shirt off, his brows rising as he looked at the mangled flesh of Bucky’s left arm. He whistled low as his eyes moved from the top to the bottom of the injury, “Fuck. That’s pretty bad.”

The omega looked away from his face, biting his lip and nodding. He didn’t know how to respond, but the arm didn’t seem to bother Rumlow for long because he was back to undressing Bucky by pulling his undershirt up and over his head.

The smaller brunette shivered as the cool air hit his nipples, hardening them. Brock kissed and scented at Bucky’s scent glands in his neck and underneath his jaw. His hands rubbed up and down his back, grabbing his ass firmly and rolling him over onto his back. The omega made a small keening sound as Brock grounded his hardening length against Bucky’s crotch. Bucky’s traitorous ass began to clench in anticipation as slick spotted his underwear.

Brock paused, sitting back on his haunches as he shed his own over shirt and undershirt. He was gorgeously tanned and built underneath with dusting of body hair along his front. Bucky watched, mesmerized, as he then undid his belt and held it in his hands. Bucky reached down for his own belt, unhooking it and leaving the top button of his pants undone.

“Baby, I want to tie you up. You look so pretty all spread out for me.” Brock ran his fingers along his leather belt. “Would you like that, sweetheart? Would you let me tie you up?”

The omega had never tried handcuffs or bondage, but he felt a deep thrill in his bones and a need to make Brock proud of him. “Yea, I think I want to try it.”

Brock seemed pleased, “Let’s get you out of these clothes first.” His eyes darkened as he draped the belt over his shoulder.

Bucky remembered the underwear and smiled in anticipation. He wanted Brock to unwrap him like a present. Bucky wanted Brock’s mouth to eat him out until he was soaking wet. Slick was slowly slipping from between the cleft of his ass, and the thought of where this was going excited him more.

Brock stood for a moment from the bed to shed his pants and underwear. He leaned back down when he was finished undressing, kissing Bucky roughly on the lips and then running his nose over Bucky’s scent glands again. The omega could only guess how good he must smell to the other. Brock’s scent was strong and smelled like burnt wood and spice. It wasn’t the refreshing scent of Steve ( _Fuck, don’t think of Steve right now!),_ but it was still inviting. Brock’s dick was average alpha length and thick at the base where the promise of a knot was beginning to form. Bucky blushed as he looked at it, only ever being this close to an alpha dick a small handful of times.

“Gonna take care of you, baby. So excited to get inside you. That’s what you want, baby, right?” Brock murmured lowly, moving his hands to Bucky’s waist. The omega nodded encouragingly as Brock pulled his pants off and threw them to the side. Bucky held his breath, waiting for a reaction of praise.

Instead, Brock chuckled, low and deep. “Oh baby, is it my birthday?” He reached down, mouthing along the hem before sliding them off, “Got such a cute ass. How did you fit these on?”

Bucky was trying to evaluate whether Brock was aroused or ridiculing him. “I thought you’d like ‘em.”

Brock nodded encouragingly as he reached over to the bedside table to grab the condom. Bucky watched him carefully as he fumbled with the wrapper, pulling at it with his teeth and tossing the wrapper to the floor.

“That’s for alphas, right?” Bucky double checked, trying to sit up and glance at the disposed wrapper. Brock’s large frame blocked his view, so he sat back anxiously.

“Yeah, baby, don’t worry about it.” Brock answered as he continued to stumble with the slippery latex.

Bucky observed him, feeling slightly unnerved, “It doesn’t look like an alpha condom.”

Brock shot him an annoyed look, “Are you an alpha?” he asked accusingly. Bucky shook his head. The alpha huffed, “See? I got it.” The condom snapped into place and the bigger man ran his hand over his hardened dick a few times, scooting back on the bed.

The omega was sprawled out in front of him, completely naked. His dick lay hard and untouched against his abdomen, waiting for attention.

Brock rubbed his nose, “I think it’d be easier on your stomach.” He made a motion with his hand for the other to turn around.

The omega watched him carefully but took a deep breath, turning around onto his hands and knees, ‘presenting’ himself to the alpha. He was nervous and excited to get some attention to his body.

“Put your hands behind your back. Gonna put the belt to some use before we have us a little fun.” Brock instructed.

The omega wasn’t completely sold on the idea, but an image of him getting his ass eaten out while his hands were bound brought a twitch of arousal to his dick. He licked his lips and maneuvered his hands behind his back. His chest was still against the bed while his face rested to the side on the pillows. Brock praised him quietly as he looped his belt around both of Bucky’s wrists, binding them together tightly. The omega gasped at the stiffness.

The alpha positioned him on the bed, moving so that Bucky had his face pressed against the pillows and his ass still in the air, supported by his spread knees. Brock took his place behind him and ran his hands up and down Bucky’s back. The omega moaned softly, melting into the touch as Brock leaned forward, mouthing and kissing behind his ear and shoulder. The omega felt slick drip down his thighs as the alpha groped his ass, spreading his cheeks. He was ready for a tongue, a finger; he wasn’t ready for the blunt tip of Brock’s dick to rub against the cleft of his ass, lining up with his opening and sinking in.

Bucky cried out, trying to pull away from the intrusion but Brock tightened his hold on his hips, showing Bucky’s face down into the pillows “Shh, relax, don’t make this difficult, baby.”

The omega squirmed, “Fuck, I’m not ready!” he tried to move away, but Brock’s grip on him was stronger. Bucky tried to calm his nerves from the onslaught of pain, “Fuck, please slow down. I need to adjust.”

Rumlow growled low at him, dangerous. It made Bucky freeze, his breath coming in distressed pants as the alpha bottomed out. He felt full and uncomfortable, the rim of his ass aching. The only saving grace was the Rumlow did take pause to allow the omega to breathe.

“See? You can take it, baby doll. It’s okay, I got you.”

The omega took deep breaths, his face smashed to the side of the pillow as Brock held his neck down. His other hand gripped him roughly at the hip as he began to move in and out of the smaller body without rhythm.

“So good, baby. So good.” Rumlow moaned as sweat beaded off his brow, “God, you’re impossibly tight. Must be a male omega thing.”

Bucky closed his eyes, trying to tune him out, trying to make this a situation that he was okay with. The pain and discomfort had begun to fade, making way for slight pleasure whenever Rumlow rubbed against his prostate. He took deep breaths, trying to concentrate as sweat beaded off his forehead. Brock reached one of his hands around to stroke Bucky’s engorged cock.  

Bucky’s hands and arms were useless to him with the belt wrapped tightly around his wrists. He groaned, brows creasing as he tried to wriggle his ass to find the sweet spots inside of himself. Whenever he tried to slow down the pace, Rumlow would pick it back up again. He was getting closer to orgasm when he focused on the stimulation to his prostate and dick, but it began to dissipate when he felt discomfort tugging at the rim of his ass. Rumlow’s pace of thrusts were increasing, and Bucky quickly began to struggle again.

“Don’t knot me! Don’t you dare fucking knot me!” Bucky snarled, trying to move away. “Alpha, Stop!” Bucky raised his voice louder, trying to yell out, but Brock shoved his face back into the pillows, growling loudly in warning as he closed his eyes and pounded Bucky’s ass as hard as he could.

The omega’s body went into a panic as Brock’s knot began to catch, pushing past the rim of his ass. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Bucky had a flashback of Health 101 class when they explained the pain of a first time knotting. He was trying to prepare himself for the inevitable pain that he had not mentally or physically prepared himself for.

( _The textbook had read that a male omega had a second channel within the anal cavity that expanded when engorged with blood from arousal. During intercourse, the channel blocks off the rectum and pulses with lubrication (i.e. slick) to allow for penetration. If the male omega mates with an alpha, the alpha’s orgasm will result in a knot that will catch within the omega’s vagina and ‘lock’ against the walls below the cervix to strengthen the odds of conception. For a first time knotting, an omega may experience tearing and bleeding as the soft tissue around the cervix will need to widen to allow semen to enter. Below in figure 1.2-)_

Rumlow moaned low and long as he came, snapping his hips hard against Bucky’s ass when his knot popped and locked into the omega. Bucky cried out below him, his body shaking with the force of the abuse, slick gushing past as his traitorous biology accepted Rumlow’s knot greedily.

“Shh, baby, shh. See? You got this, baby.” Brock hushed him as he lay over his back, kissing the back of Bucky’s disheveled hair. His hand fell away from Bucky’s dick, still leaving him half hard.

The omega didn’t say anything as Rumlow laid over him. His body ached and felt impossibly full. He felt raw and irresponsible for lettings this happen; humiliated beyond words.

_Why didn’t he stop?  
Was I not clear enough?_

_Did my scent make him crazy?_

_What the fuck did I just do?_

With his mind reeling, Bucky breathed in and out, waiting for Brock’s knot to go down so that he could focus on something other than the overwhelming sensation of bruised fullness and discomfort. He wondered if anyone heard them. He wondered if Brock had ever been with a male omega. He wondered if Brock was intentionally cruel or if he was just a moron. He wondered if Steve would have been gentle with him. 

The alpha was kissing his back as he undid the belt from Bucky’s wrist. Without his arms bound, Bucky moved them to his front to brace himself while Brock continued to lick and mouth at him. 

Fuck, he needed to leave. He made a getaway plan to book it out of there since he couldn’t possible sleep next to Brock. The omega made up his mind to grab his duffle bag, his clothes, and to leave immediately when they became unknotted.  However, he couldn’t possibly call his dad after what just happened. He couldn’t face his family after disgracing himself so lowly. He had made a bad call and was suffering the consequences for it.

After five minutes had passed, Brock’s knot went down and slipped from Bucky’s body.

Frustrated, Bucky rolled on to his side, feeling a rush of slick escape his body. He didn’t have it in him to cover his shame as he rubbed at the welts on his wrists. He then ran his fingers through his hair, resolutely ignoring the burn in his eyes where tears had escaped during their tryst.

Brock didn’t say anything, only laid out on the bed with a deep sigh. Bucky hated him for it, but took pause when he looked down the alpha’s body and noticed a missing element.

“Where’s the condom?” Bucky asked shakily.

The bigger man shrugged, “It’s there.” Bucky looked pointedly to the alpha’s soft cock, where the condom was not present. Brock noticed it too and furrowed his brow, “It was there.”

“Shit.” Bucky hissed, looking underneath him. Rumlow also sat up and began to look around the bed. Bucky felt life drain from his body as he realized the condom wasn’t on the bed. He ran his fingers behind him and in him-

_Fuck, that’s really sore!_

-and found no condom.

“SHIT!” Bucky bolted from the bed on shaky legs, making his way to the bathroom and slamming the door. He grabbed a compact mirror from Brock’s toiletries and squatted down, trying to locate any evidence of the device inside him. With trembling fingers, he pushed inside his channel and tried to feel with a finger if there was anything. He gasped in pain at the rawness inside, but found nothing. Frustrated, he threw the compact at the wall, shattering it.

“What the fuck was that?” Brock asked with an annoyed look while Bucky brushed past him.

The omega pulled on his pants and undershirt, stuffing the rest of his clothing in his duffle bag. He toed on his shoes, forgetting his socks as he finally lunged for his phone off of the table.

“You’re a real fucking asshole, Rumlow.” Bucky countered unsteadily.

“Where are you going? We have the room for the night!” Brock gestured to the bed, unmoved by Bucky’s furious mood or the smell of distraught and hurt omega. “It’s not a big deal! It’ll probably just come out on its own when you use the restroom later.”

The omega was infuriated by the complete lack of knowledge and respect Brock had for his body. The man had no concept of male omega anatomy or common decency.

“FUCK YOU!” Bucky growled viciously with teeth showing and finger pointed at Brock, “You have no idea what the fuck you are doing.” When Brock made a move to walk forward, Bucky’s anger intensified, “Don’t _ever_ talk to me again or else I’ll punch your fucking teeth out!”

Rumlow held up his hands in defense as the fuming omega backed out and fled the rom. He knew that he reeked of misery and anger, but he needed to get the hell out of the building.

Bucky didn’t see any familiar faces as he banged on Natasha’s hotel room. He was greeted with nothing. He then went to Steve’s door and found no reply. He staggered down the hallway to the elevator, trying to ignore the intense fight or flight instincts rushing through him. He felt as if he were out of his body; as if what had just happened to him was an out of body nightmare. He couldn’t believe how quick the night had gone to hell. He was shaking as he looked at his contacts, his sub-conscious immediately pressing call under Steve’s name. He slumped against the inside of the elevator with his duffle bag, holding the phone to his ear.  It was well past 11. There was no way Steve would pick up.

He still closed his eyes and prayed.

“Hello?”

“Steve-” Bucky choked on his words, relief and emotion welling up in his throat.

“Bucky? Hello? Sorry, it’s really loud in here!” Steve’s voice was muffled but he could just make out the words amongst the music.

“Steve, I need to leave.” Bucky felt his voice tapering off. His body felt like it wasn’t in control of itself, as if he were jumping too far ahead for it. He realized he had never even pressed the lobby button until another party goer joined him in the elevator, pressing the floor button for him.

“Leave? Bucky, are you okay?” Steve asked loudly. Bucky could tell Steve was moving away from the music by the sound of the background noise. He heard Sharon in the distance asking what was wrong.

Bucky shook his head, taking in a deep breath, “The condom, it’s gone.”

“What?” Steve asked again. “Could you repeat that? Are you with Brock?”

“The condom is somewhere inside me and Rumlow’s a shithead!” Bucky yelled into the phone just as the elevator doors opened. Bucky paled as he looked up to see Steve standing there, mouth open without a response.

The fellow person in the elevator booked it out of there fast.

Sharon was the first to rush forward, “Jesus, are you okay? You look like hell.”

Bucky knew he looked wild, so he wasn’t surprised by the statement. However, Steve always had a strong nose and immediately his face hardened as he recognized the different scents rolling off of Bucky’s body.

“Sharon, can you run upstairs and get my backpack? I’m going to get Bucky home.” Steve asked with authority heavy in his voice. Sharon nodded sympathetically as she got into the elevator and headed to their floor.

“What happened?” Steve asked, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

The brunet omega looked around the room, noticing that his scent and distress were causing attention. He felt ashamed by his ragged appearance and decided instead to steer Steve towards the front doors of the hotel. The blonde alpha followed him along silently with hardened eyes.

They stood outside for a few minutes until Sharon made her reappearance with Steve’s bag.

“Anything I can do to help?” she asked in concern.

Steve shook his head, “I’m going to take him home. Get some sleep and I’ll call you in the morning?” He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Sharon looked disappointed but she nodded in understanding, giving Steve another hug and a kiss. She patted Bucky’s shoulder as she passed by him and went back into the hotel room lobby where Janet was waiting for her.

******

When Steve and Bucky got into the Beetle, Bucky took a deep breath and leaned forward, running his fingers over his eyes. The alpha’s concerned aroma was heavy in the car.

“I need to go to the hospital, Steve. The condom is stuck somewhere inside me and I can’t get it out.”

The blonde looked taken aback. “I was hoping you were joking.” He tried to smile, lighten the mood, but Bucky was too miserable for it.

Steve started the car and began to drive towards the nearest hospital. The scents that were lingering on Bucky were Steve’s nasal passage. He could smell alpha arousal all over Bucky, but he could also identify omega distress, humiliation, and fear with a clear absence of omega arousal and release on him.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Steve asked in a calm and level voice. He knew that if he let anger seep into his emotions, he would use an alpha voice and end up making things worse.

“I fucked up.” Bucky replied, quietly. “I should’ve known better, Steve. I was so, so fucking stupid.” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands in shame.

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat, worry plaguing his emotions. “Bucky...you’re scaring me.” He glanced over to his best friend who sat hunched over in his seat.

Steve wasn’t obtuse. He could put two and two together. He focused on driving them safely to the hospital and once there, parked his car and walked Bucky to the emergency room. Bucky was very firm about not calling his mom or dad, so Steve stayed adamant about staying with him at the hospital instead.

Upon being admitted to the emergency room, Steve was left in the waiting room while Bucky was taken to a room where the nurse took his vitals and had him change into a hospital gown. When asked if it was non-consensual sex that he was engaged in, Bucky choked on his reply while unwelcome hot tears began to run down his face. He felt embarrassed.

The nurse told him that whatever had happened wasn’t his fault. She let him know that they had a counselor at the hospital who could talk with him about what happened. Bucky shook his head adamantly as she spoke, telling her he was fine. She asked if he would like them to administer a rape kit or press charges to his assailant, to which Bucky paled and said no. He was adamant that what had happened between him and Brock was a misunderstanding and lack of communication. The nurse didn’t seem convinced, but she respected his choice.

The omega was scared and only wanted to go home and stay in bed for the rest of the year.

Eventually Dr. Banner came to him, reading over his chart with a cool expression before looking to the omega. “Was the condom lost before or after ejaculation?”

“After. I think.” Bucky croaked, looking down at his hands miserably. 

Dr. Banner looked to him sympathetically. “Okay. I’m going to have you scoot to the end of the bed and have you put your feet up into the stirrups. I’ll need to use a speculum to allow me to find the object inside of you. Do you understand?”

The omega nodded. The beta nurse from earlier appeared back into the room and stayed next to Bucky’s side as support while Dr. Banner went to the end of the table, waiting for Bucky to place his shaky legs into the stirrups until he felt the cool air on his spread bare ass.

After the initial burn of the speculum was placed inside of him and stretched, Bucky felt his mind wander away from his body. He thought back on what a big mistake he had made. He should’ve gone with Steve right from the beginning. He knew Brock was foul; all of his friends expressed their dislike for him on many occasions. And yet, he had ran in stupidly and gotten himself rape-

Bucky stopped his thoughts all together.

That wasn’t what this was.

There was a miscommunication between him and Brock, and he had made a huge error of judgement.

He heard Dr. Banner talking and willed his mind to focus. He heard the sound of metal clanking on the small table before a bright stinging sensation burned at his sensitive opening.

“Sorry about that. This is to clean out the tears to the tissue. You’re going to be sore and inflamed for a few days, and we want to reduce the risk of infection. I’ll be sending you home with a topical analgesic that will promote the healing.” The doctor finished administering the medicine. Bucky glanced to the side as the doctor placed bloodied swabs of cloth in the waste bin.

 After a few moments he was able to scoot back up on the bed and rest his legs down while the doctor continued “We were able to retrieve the object intact. Although it looks like the condom tore even before ejaculation. It doesn’t look like the proper condom was used- this wasn’t an alpha condom. Were you aware of that?”

Bucky could feel his internal voice screaming.

Noting the omega’s distress, Dr. Banner continued carefully.

“Are you on birth control or any type of hormone or pregnancy suppressants?” he adjusted the glasses on his nose, looking up to him.

“No.” Bucky felt himself sink into the bed.

“You do pose a sufficient risk for conception, but there are some strong viable options in case you want to terminate that possibility.”

“Please, yes.” The omega breathed while he ran his fingers over his tired eyes.

Dr. Banner prescribed him some emergency contraception and as a precaution, drew blood to run an STD panel. Bucky was given a small kit that included the topical analgesic, painkillers, and some disinfecting wipes for his bottom. With everything finished, Bucky changed into the sweatpants and shirt he had packed in his duffle bag and walked out quietly to meet Steve, who was half-asleep on a chair in the waiting room.

Steve awoke immediately when his nose picked up Bucky’s unique scent. The alpha stumbled as he rushed to meet him, looking ruffled and worried.

When the alpha was in front of him, the brunette walked up to Steve and pushed his forehead against the taller man’s sternum, wrapping his arms around Steve’s middle and taking deep shuddering breaths. The alpha wrapped his arms around him and held him, resting his cheek on the top of the omega’s messy brown hair.

“Hey, Buck. It’s going to be okay.” Steve murmured.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this. Please.” Bucky whispered, shaking his head and trying to wrap himself into the smell of home and sandalwood.

The alpha promised and the two of them walked somberly back to the Beetle. It didn’t skip the alpha’s attention that the omega was walking with a slight limp in his gait.  

When they got home, Steve made sure to walk Bucky all the way up the stairs to his room. He had offered for Bucky to stay over in the Roger’s guest bedroom, but the omega was adamant about being in his own bed.

The blonde sat on Bucky’s bed while the omega went to the bathroom for a quick shower. Steve didn’t feel comfortable with leaving Bucky alone, yet he was unsure about what to do for this entire situation. He knew that something bad had happened between Rumlow and Bucky, but he didn’t have the details. He could only go off the troubling scents he had found Bucky reeking of (to which Bucky was trying to wash off in the shower).

He picked at his thumbs and continued deep in thought until the omega came back to his room, dressed in clean pajamas and looking too tired for his 18 year old soul.

“Thank you, Steve.” Bucky said, his voice sounding raw. The younger man made no mention of the omega’s blood shot eyes. He wiggled over to the side, giving access for Bucky to climb under the covers in his bed.

“Do you want me to stay?” Steve asked, keeping his hands to himself despite the urge to push down Bucky’s hair and soothe him of his worries.

The omega sighed, “I’m sorry, but I think I need to be alone.”

The blonde looked crestfallen, but understood. “Can I sleep on the downstairs couch? Just in case you need me?”

A tired smile tugged at the corners of Bucky's mouth. He felt at ease with the thought. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

Steve got up from the bed and grabbed his backpack, backing up towards the door. “I’ll be right downstairs if you need me. Get some sleep. Everything’s going to be okay.” Steve gave him a long look before turning off the light and shutting the door behind him. 

Bucky listened carefully to each of Steve’s footsteps as he descended the stairs. When he heard Steve moving around downstairs, he buried himself under his blankets and closed his eyes tightly, willing the night’s events to completely erase themselves from his memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not in the medical field so I apologize if any of the interactions with Bucky and his healthcare providers were inaccurate.  
> Poor Bucky is very conflicted and unsure of how to feel or process things.  
> Thank you for all of your comments, kudos, and encouragement! :D
> 
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky laid out on his bed and thought of Steve.  
>  _What is he going to say?_  
>  Will he be upset?

It had been three weeks since the night of prom and Bucky had been more reserved than usual. He was still present with all of his friends and attended some of the social gatherings, but the blonde alpha sensed a clear disconnect. The only ones who knew about what had happened were Steve and Natasha. Sharon knew to some extent, but she did not share the story with anyone and kept her promise to Steve that she would stay quiet.

Bucky heavily doused himself in his scent suppressant deodorants to mask the fragrance of his uneasiness at school. Brock kept true to Bucky’s threat and steered cleared of the omega, just as Bucky made sure to avoid the alpha at all costs. It seemed crazy to his friends, but they didn’t know the magnitude of how disastrous prom night had went for the omega. They all assumed that Bucky had seen the light of Rumlow’s selfish personality and called it quits.

“I will kill him.” Natasha growled as she watched the targeted alpha ahead of them running on the track.

She was running alongside Steve during gym class, who shared the sentiment and was doing his best to not let the irritation towards Brock plague his scent.

The red-headed alpha continued her frustrated rant, “Bucky told me to just leave it. He said that it was all a misunderstanding. He doesn’t get that he was being manipulated by that asshole’s pheromones. Classic textbook alpha-omega control.”

The pair stopped at the end of their circuit to stretch when Rumlow walked by them. Steve hadn’t meant to let it slip, but he growled low in his chest towards the opposing alpha, eyeing him challenging.

Brock stopped and faced him, looking just as agitated as the blonde. He had been breathing in the aggressive alpha smells for the last few weeks every time Steve or Natasha walked by him. And had also had enough.  

“If you have a problem with me Rogers, go ahead and spill. It has never stopped you before.” The dark haired alpha postured in front of him, hands on his hips and shoulders tensing. He would’ve looked intimidating, but Steve had him matched in physical power.

The blonde knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut, but he was never one to allow bullies to walk all over others. Especially his friends. As an alpha, he felt he had an even bigger responsibility to defend others.

Brock continued to prompt him as he took a step closer, “Is this about Bucky? Your friend, your pal, your little _omega_.”

“You should be ashamed to be showing your face around this school after the stunt you pulled.” Steve stated angrily, “You had no right to him. You’re a rapist and a coward.”

The darker haired alpha looked as if he had been zapped. He scoffed, “I _didn’t_ rape him. His body was begging me to claim him. It’s none of your business anyways; you’re not truly his alpha.” When Steve stiffened, Brock laughed, “Are you jealous?

He should’ve had more self-control, but after weeks of built-up anger and frustration, Steve snapped. He rushed forward, tackling the other alpha with a fierce growl that made even Natasha jump.

“Steve! He’s not worth it!” Natasha tried to rush forward to pry him off. She realized that it was a pointless stunt when she was almost elbowed in the face by her own friend. Knowing her options were limited, she ran for help to separate the two before they severely injured one another.

The blonde alpha’s eyes had reddened as he gave into his rage and continued his onslaught of punching Rumlow in the face. He growled obscenities that were returned in full by the other, who was grappling him and trying to get the upper hand.

The gym teacher rushed over lightning fast once she realized what was going on and sprayed them heavily with scent inhibitors. Brock and Steve immediately began to cough, their hands falling off one another to cover their eyes and nose from the onslaught of burning that invaded their senses.

“Rogers, Rumlow, get on the bench!” They gym coach ordered authoritatively.

Natasha would’ve helped Steve to his feet, but she was standing back and covering her own mouth and nose from the lingering acrid smell of the inhibitors.

As Steve sat on the bench, feet away from Rumlow, he couldn’t help but to feel some satisfaction that Brock was holding his bloody mouth and cussing him out through his fingers from the other side. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He knew he was about to get suspended from school, but he felt validated from his sore bloody knuckles.

******

Later on that afternoon, Bucky stopped by Steve’s house with his homework. The blonde answered the door with a sheepish smile, wondering if Bucky would be pleased that ‘revenge’ was served.

“I can handle my own battles, you know.” Bucky stated with an entertained glint in his eye.

Steve huffed, “I had him on the ropes.”

“Nat told me he spat out two teeth.”

“You know he deserved more than that.”

The omega sighed in exasperation, “So how many days this time?”

“Two.” Steve shrugged. He opened the door for the omega, but the smaller man shook his head.

“Your mom will kill me if she knew I was entertaining you. You should be doing penance.” The brunette was trying to hide his pleased smile.

“Never stopped you before.” Steve pointed out. His heart swelled to see the brightness return to Bucky’s eyes.

“You have a point.” Bucky walked inside of the Roger’s residence and took a careful look at the alpha’s face. Steve had a black eye, some bruising around his cheek, and a couple scratches around his face and arms. With how Steve was hunched, he was sure there were a couple of bruised ribs as well. When alphas in their physical peak of fitness fought, it typically didn’t end without at least a few injuries.

The omega rummaged through his backpack to tug out Steve’s work. He set it on the kitchen table while Steve grabbed them drinks from the fridge. He handed Bucky a can of Coca-Cola and the two sat to drink in companionable silence.

“How are you doing?” Steve asked.

The brunette shrugged, “I’ll be fine. You don’t always have to defend me, punk.” There was a hint of amusement playing at the corners of his lips.

The alpha looked down at his soda and chuckled, amused by the imagery of Bucky kicking Rumlow’s ass. “Trust me, I know you could’ve beat up Brock. I’ve been on edge and I sort of snapped today.” He looked up to his friend, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool. I just wish I was there so that I could’ve gotten in a few punches.”

Steve laughed, running his hand over his chest where his heart was over-flowing with mirth. He missed having this one-on-one time with the omega. Steve had admittedly been spending most of his time with Sharon on the weekends, so his time with his best friend had been limited.  

The blonde alpha watched him carefully as Bucky continued, “You know, I appreciate everything you do for me. I know I can be a real pain in the ass, but you stickin up for me today? Thank you.” Bucky reached across and set his hand on the alpha’s shoulder, squeezing it. Steve put his hand over his and squeezed back.

“You know, I have a few hours to spare before my ma forces me home for dinner. What do you say we watch some Star Trek?” Bucky suggested.

It was how the two of them ended up on the couch with a bag of cheddar popcorn and twizzlers between them. They watched _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ for two hour before Becca was coming into the house to yell for Bucky to get home for dinner. There were no boundaries between the two families.

“Hey, can I come too?” Steve asked.

Becca snorted, “Are you kidding? You know if you come over my dad is going to talk to you for hours on alpha principle crap.”

Bucky snorted a laugh as he got up and grabbed his backpack. He met with his sister at the door and glanced back to Steve. The alpha shook his head, deciding to avoid having any stern life lessons for the night.

“Do your homework!” the omega called out as he exited with his sister.

Later on when Steve grabbed his trigonometry book, he noticed a yellow sticky note bookmarking his homework page. He flipped it open and chuckled.

**Steve,**

**You’re a meatball.**

**Thank you.**

**Love, Bucky**

* * *

 

 

_3 weeks later_

The talk of colleges, university, and summer plans were heavy in the air as the end of their high school experience approached on the horizon. All of Bucky’s friends were beginning to finalize their plans for the next chapter of their lives. He had received a few acceptance letters in the mail for engineering schools across the country that he was interested in joining. He loved working on and tinkering with any kind of vehicle he could get his hands on. It was two summers ago when he helped Steve fix the beat up Volkswagen, and he still took time throughout the week to help his dad work on the Indian motorcycle in their small garage.

When he came home from his finals on Tuesday (the last week of school before graduation), his mother was smiling brightly at him as she motioned towards the kitchen counter where the mail was sitting.

“Is it here?” Bucky asked excitedly.

“There is a thick envelope from MIT.” Winifred stated brightly with interest, “I promise I didn’t open it.”

The brunette nearly tripped over his own feet as he snatched it off of the counter. He was almost shaking as he ripped open the envelope to reveal the letter below.

“What does it say?” Becca asked in the doorway, holding her breath.

Bucky nearly cried with joy, “Hell yeah, I’m going to MIT!!!” He jumped in the air and howled with excitement while Becca ran to him, wrapping her arms around her big brother.

Winifred was wiping tears from her eyes as she walked around the counter and hugged the both of them. She kissed the top of Bucky’s head. “Oh James, I’m so proud of you.”

Bucky couldn’t help but to shed tears of his own. He had been working hard to earn top grades all throughout his school career. Ever since he was little, he and Steve had planned to go to MIT together. Steve was going to study art & design, while Bucky would pursue engineering.

“I-I need to tell Steve. Oh my god, ma. I can’t believe this!” Bucky was shaking with exhilaration. His dream college had accepted him and he was floating on cloud 9.

He gripped his acceptance letter tight as he ran down the hallway, Winifred yelling at him to slow down as he tumbled out of the front door.

Bucky ran across the street and over to the Rogers residence. He knocked on the door, shuffling his feet in trepidation. When no answer came, he shook the door handle and found it unlocked. He went inside, looking around for Steve before deciding to bound up the steps by 2. The alpha must have been in his bedroom, where the door was shut. He ran towards it, opening it with an excited, “Steve!!”

Sharon screamed.

Bucky was quickly bombarded by the scents of alpha and omega arousal. His nose immediately ached from the floral-sweet pheromones Sharon had been emitting, which now turned to terror. Bucky was shell-shocked at the door, the scene of Sharon straddling a naked Steve on his bed forever burned into his retinas. Sharon had made an effort to cover her perky breasts with her hands while Steve made direct eye contact with the brunette omega.

Steve was several shades of mortification, “Bucky!?” he cried out, “What the- Shut the door!!!”

“Holy shit!” Bucky babbled, slamming the door and pushing his back against it. “Oh, fuck.” He gagged as his stomach tightened. The strong scent of the pair in the other room was burning in the back of his olfactory glands.  His body retched as he ran back down the stairs at lightning speed.

He barely made it out of the house before he was crouching over the front lawn bushes and throwing up on them. His body emptied the entire contents of his stomach in violent tremors. He tried to breathe in as much of the fresh air as possible to rid him of the smell of the pair having sex inside the house.

When he felt his stomach settle, he straightened on wobbly legs and looked down at the acceptance letter still in his left hand. He had successfully not gotten vomit all over it.

******

Later that night, Steve texted him while Bucky was working in the garage.

 **Stevie:** Mind telling me what happened earlier?

 **BuckyB:** I’m so sorry.

 **Stevie:** What’s going on?

 **BuckyB:** I got into MIT!

Bucky’s phone was quiet for 5 long minutes. He checked his phone multiple times to be sure his message had sent.

 **BuckyB:** I got into MIT, Steve. MIT!! We’re going to MIT!

 **Stevie:** Wow! Congratulations Buck! I’m happy for you.

 **BuckyB:** I couldn’t wait to tell you. So, should we start shopping around for our dorm room décor?

There was silence again on the other line. Bucky shrugged it off and started working again, but his phone rang ten minutes later with Steve’s name flashing on the caller id.

Bucky answered excitedly, “I was just thinkin about all the cool things we’re gonna have to get for our dorm. I’m planning black and red for my side of the room-“

“Bucky…”

“-And I thought that navy and silver would be cool for yours. My ma said target has some decent things-“

“Bucky, stop. I need to talk to you.”

The omega halted immediately. He swallowed, “Sorry. Everything good?”

Steve took a deep breath on the other side of the line.

“Steve?”

“I’m not going to MIT.” Steve replied.

Bucky paused what he was doing and leaned up against the workbench, brows furrowed as he tried to process what the alpha was saying, “Okay…are you going to Rhode Island then?” The brunette knew Steve’s college application list by heart. They had agreed that if MIT didn’t work, the blonde would go to Rhode Island School of Design, which would still only be about an hour away. They had talked in detail that wherever one went, the other would follow.

“No, Bucky. I’m not going to a school in the United States.” Steve explained warily, “I got a full ride to University in London.”

The omega felt his heart clench.

“The scholarship would cover all of my schooling and boarding. I talked it over with my mom and I think it’s going to be the best fit for me. It’ll take some financial strain off of her, and it’s one of the top 5 art schools in the world.” Steve went into more detail, “Plus, you know I‘ve always wanted to study abroad, so this will give me a great opportunity and great exposure.”

Bucky was at a loss for words.

“I know we had made plans, but I can’t pass this up, Buck. I’m so sorry.” Steve was trying to be positive on the other line, but Bucky could tell he had been harboring this secret for a while. It pained him to think that Steve had been planning his future ahead of the brunet. The omega wondered where he fit into that equation.

He hung his head down and closed his eyes, “I- Wow. Congratulations, Steve. I-I’m happy for you. If it’s what you really want…then you should pursue it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Go to London. I’m sure you’re going to do awesome.”

Steve breathed out a sigh of relief, “Thank you, Buck.”

Bucky didn’t say anything for a moment. The line between them was heavy as they both processed how this would drastically change their futures. Neither of them knew what to say.

“I’m gonna go.” Bucky whispered, “I’m fixing up a few things here on the Indian. See you tomorrow?”

“Okay. G’night, Buck.”

As the brunette ended the call, he looked around at the garage and felt an overwhelming sense of finality. High school was coming to a close and nothing would ever be the same again. Many of his friends were going to be attending colleges or trade schools in the New York and Brooklyn areas. Bucky wouldn’t be alone at MIT with Tony and Rhodey following him along. He knew he would be okay, but without Steve in the picture…it didn’t feel right.

* * *

 

 

On the day of their graduation, Bucky and Steve walked to their high school early in the morning after their moms had taken a dozen photos of them wearing their caps and gown. They were mostly silent as they walked, enjoying the moment as their last trek to high school played out. Both of them had been struggling with their emotions all morning.

“You know I’ll be back to visit during the holidays.” Steve looked over to Bucky, trying to lift his spirits, “And we have Skype and cell phones.”

Bucky looked to him, non-impressed.

“And if you get a passport, you can come visit me and we can legally drink there as much as we want.” Steve offered.

The omega huffed a laugh, “Sure, whatever you say, Rogers.”

The alpha put his arm around his best friend as they walked, huddling close to him. The contact seemed to make Bucky smile enough to marginally brighten his spirits. Steve still couldn’t smell Bucky’s scent as clearly, but he could swear he sensed contented omega. Even at the end of the school year, Bucky had still been adamant about dousing himself with suppressant deodorant to ward off the smell of his stress and anxiety.

When they reached the school, they met up with their friends and took group photos with their cell phones. Sharon and Steve were taking an extra amount of selfies, and once again, the smell of Sharon’s floral scent made Bucky nauseous.

He excused himself to the restroom where he threw up in the stall until his entire breakfast had been evacuated from his body. He groaned as he wiped his mouth, flushed the toilet, and came out of the stall to see Natasha leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

“Jesus, Nat.” Bucky startled. “Could you warn a guy?”

He went to wash his hands and gargle his mouth out with water.

“Do you normally puke every time you see Sharon or is it just the nerves?” Natasha asked with a raised brow.

“Are you supposed to be in the omega restroom?” Bucky countered.

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Answer the question, Barnes.”

He was quiet while he finished spitting into the sink. When he was done, he straightened up and smoothed out the wrinkles on his graduation gown. He had been ignoring this question himself and chalked up the sickness to nerves and stress. It wasn’t just Sharon’s smell that made him vomit. Yesterday he had smelled fruity pebbles from Anna’s cereal bowl and retched his guts out in the bathroom afterwards. He was slightly nauseous from the moment he got up until lunch time, unless an unpleasant smell came on to him too strongly.

He licked his lips, “My stomach hasn’t been agreeing with me.”

Natasha moved forward and breathed deeply under his jaw. He moved his head to the side, allowing her to scent him.

“You’ve been going heavy on that deodorant, but something smells off on you.” She took another sniff, closing her eyes and running the tip of her nose from the base of his neck to behind his ear. Bucky shuddered at the intimate contact. He would’ve been aroused if it wasn’t for the tension in his gut.

Natasha’s eyes widened, “When was your last heat?”

“It was in March…” Bucky swallowed. “My heat is running late.”

“Shit, Bucky-“

“I’m not, Nat. I can’t be. I used Plan B at the hospital and I followed the instructions and everything they told me.” Bucky’s voice wavered.

The red-headed alpha put her hand on Bucky’s good arm, “Plan B is only 95% effective, James.”

Bucky brushed her off and shook his head, “I’m fine. I’m just nervous.” He walked out of the bathroom with Natasha close behind him.

The omega was glad he was wearing the scent deodorant because his heart was beating a mile a minute.

There was no way he could be pregnant.

Bucky pushed the possibility of pregnancy in the very far reaches of his mind. He tried not to entertain the thought, but when he found himself throwing up every morning and trying to hide it from his family, he knew something was wrong. It was how he found himself at Natasha’s apartment with a pregnancy test in his hand.

Natasha’s parents were gone for work and the alpha was left home alone to her own devices during the day. Bucky showed up in the early afternoon, still a little green around the gills. They locked themselves in the bathroom where Bucky opened the package and read the instructions.

“Just pee on it.” Natasha stated. “You pee on the stick and we wait a minute for it to process. One blue line is negative, two blue lines are positive.”

“What if it’s a false positive?”                             

Natasha held up two other boxes of pregnancy tests, all of them different brands.

Bucky nodded and the two set to work to opening up all of the tests. She turned away from him as he unbuckled his pants and followed the instructions. When he was finished, they lined the tests up on a towel on the bathroom counter and waited.

Bucky was anxiously sitting at the edge of the tub, biting his lip while he watched the timer on his phone.

When the timer went off, he approached the counter and nearly choked. All three tests came back positive.

“I’m so fucked.” He whispered in defeat. Natasha took in a deep breath.

The omega ran a hand through his hair, taking in deep inhalations as he began to choke on a sob. His shoulders shook as he let the tears fall, turning his body in towards her as she hugged him.

“You have options, James.” Natasha whispered, running one of her hands up and down his back.

“Fuck, Nat, this isn’t fair.” Bucky shook his head and stood away from her to wipe at his eyes. He walked out of the room with Natasha and took a seat on the couch. He ran his hands over his face again and again, trying to steady his breaths.

“There’s a Planned Parenthood 4 miles away. We could go there if you want to-“

She was cut off when he waved his hand dismissively, “I can’t, Nat.” she was quiet while he sniffed, pulling in the reigns on his emotions, “I couldn’t abort it when I know there are people out there who would jump at the chance to be a parent.”

The alpha looked surprised, “You want to give it up for adoption?”

“I don’t have many options, Nat.” Bucky’s brow was heavy in thought as he began to process his situation, “I can’t keep it, that’s for sure. I have college coming up in the fall.”

“Well, how old do you think it is?” Natasha asked.

Bucky sighed, “It’s definitely Brock’s. I haven’t been with anyone else so that would make it…fuck, 7 weeks?”

“You need to go to a doctor and get yourself checked.” Natasha’s hand had slipped into his own. He grasped it lightly.

He made the decision to call the local clinic where he set up an appointment to confirm his pregnancy and to see how far along he was. He was scared out of his mind and didn’t even want to process how he would tell his family. The pregnancy definitely changed things, but he could make some adjustments to his plans so that he wouldn’t veer too far off course to his dreams.

Natasha went with him to his appointment later in the week where a blood test confirmed that he was indeed pregnant. The doctor also gave him a sonogram to pinpoint what stage of development the fetus was in. Bucky nearly jumped when they set the cool liquid on his mostly flat abdomen and began pressing the wand against his skin. He was 7 ½ weeks along and the fetus was the size of a blueberry with a very strong heartbeat.

He left the appointment with printed photos from his sonogram, pre-natal vitamins, and some information on adoption agencies within his area. Natasha hailed a taxi home for Bucky, who was all nerves as he hid the items in his backpack and went straight to his room when he was dropped off.

Bucky laid out on his bed and thought of Steve.

_What is he going to say?_

_Will he be upset?_  
He made the leap of faith. He needed to tell Steve and get rid of the anguish and stress plaguing his heart. He knew that if he could talk or scent the alpha, things would be better.

 **BuckyB** : Hey Steve, are you free to chat on the phone?

 **Stevie:** Hey, sorry, but I’m out with Sharon and her parents. They’re taking us out to a 5 star restaurant in downtown NYC. How fancy is that? ;)

Bucky felt his ears burn with anger at the mention of Steve and his perfect girlfriend. It was unlike him to get so angry, but he blamed it on the pregnancy hormones and not seeing the alpha for over a week. This was a time that he really needed his best friend ( _my alpha_ ). This was a moment that should be his and not Sharon’s. He growled in frustration as he typed out

 **_BuckyB_ ** _: Well that’s just peachy! Fuck you, fuck Sharon, fuck her rich parents, and fuck your fancy ass restaurant! I hope you get food poisoning!_

His thumb hovered over send, eyes clouding his vision. He was angry, but it wasn’t fair to Steve that the omega’s life was a mess. He sighed in defeat, erased the text, and set his phone on his desk. He needed to get a handle on his life and stop feeling sorry for himself. He would soldier through this process just as he bore through years of physical therapy for his arm. Pregnancy was not going to be comfortable, but he had MIT and his goals to look forward to. He would tolerate the 9 months of feeling like a sick land whale, finish his first semester at MIT, have the pup sometime in January, adopt the kid out to a good home, and jump back into the saddle of school.

Given the circumstances, Bucky felt as confident as he could in his plan, though he still had one large hurdle to get through.

He still needed to tell his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear things up, Rumlow doesn’t press charges against Steve for attacking him because he knows he fucked up with Bucky on prom night. If an alpha is charged for assault to an omega, they could face serious jail time. Rumlow won’t risk it, so he walks it off. (Even though he’s missing 2 teeth)  
> **For those wondering, I typically update the story every other day. :)  
> If you’d like to come talk to me or geek out over Stucky, come say hi to me on  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A piece of popcorn landed on his head. He glared over at Steve.  
> The alpha raised a brow, “I can feel your brain overheating from here. Mind letting off some of that steam?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in this chapter for discussions on abortion, rape, victim shame, and pregnancy. If you disagree with Bucky’s viewpoint on things, remember that he is still at a point in his life where he is maturing and trying to figure out his place in the world. This chapter is un-beta’ed so any mistakes are my own.

Another week of humid New York summer passed by and left Bucky wondering how the news of his situation would play out among his friends. The omega needed time to process the shitty situation the universe had thrown him in, even though time was literally the enemy as the pup only grew day by day. The omega found himself plagued with these thoughts as he worked in and out of his family’s garage.  

He wondered if he was making the right decision to go through with the pregnancy. A side of him thought that it would be easier to terminate the pregnancy and continue on with life as usual, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle the emotional fallout of going through with the medical procedure. Even though he logically knew that at this point the pup was merely a bundle of cells, he had grown up Catholic and with his family encouraging that ‘all life was sacred’. When he was younger and more naïve, he always believed that adoption was the next best option instead of keeping an unwanted pup. The problem lay in the fact that it was easier to point fingers versus being in the shoes of the one making the hard decisions.

Throughout the last few days, Natasha had been his strongest support system. She would ask him every day if he wanted to unload his thoughts and worries on her, but his response was much the same; he needed time. He thought that with time, it would heal the wounds of what Brock had done to him. His logical mind knew that Brock had taken advantage of him, had raped him, but he wanted to feel in control of the situation. It was easier to tell himself that they had both gotten carried away and through immaturity, made mistakes. He had no reason to justify Brock’s actions, but denial was easier for him to swallow than the cold hard facts.

Brock had knotted him without his consent.

Yet, Bucky felt he put himself in that situation.

Brock had tied him up and didn’t stop.

Yet, Bucky had given consent for the alpha to bind his hands.

Brock didn’t stop when Bucky cried out for him to.

Yet, Bucky…

The omega’s eyes stung with unwanted, frustrated tears. He rolled on to his back and stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. He listened to the sounds of the city in an attempt to drown out the static noise of do’s, don’ts, and undesired thoughts from his brain. He was afraid to tell his friends because it was glaringly obvious that the pup was Brock’s. He hated to admit that he had been stupid enough to trust that Rumlow would be a good match for him. Given, Bucky only really wanted to have sex with the man (which was not a crime whatsoever). But Brock lacked respect and had abused his time with the omega. The warning signals had been there since the beginning and Bucky’s friends had all been vocal on their mild dislike (intense dislike when it came to Nat and Steve) of the alpha.

And what had happened when Bucky didn’t heed their warnings?

He ended up in the place he was at now; pregnant, frustrated, and angry with himself.

A part of him considered getting rid of the pup growing inside him. He traced his hand down to his warm abdomen and let it rest. He breathed in deep and felt the thrum of his heartbeat radiating throughout his body and imagined the bundle of cells inside him mirroring that heartbeat. He knew that evidence of the night lay below the palm of his hand. However, he also knew that a part of him was in there too. The pup was half of his genes, and if forces be willing, the pup could be born with all of his best traits and given to a family who would help the pup grow into someone great. Perhaps that could be redemption for his mistake of trusting Rumlow.

The thought that a pup was growing inside him scared the hell out of him, but he had begun to resign himself into thinking that out of the shitty situation, a good family would be able to get a kid out of the deal. He remembered growing up and hearing stories of couples whose designation made it harder for them to conceive or produce pups. He felt that perhaps he could do some good, despite what he was going through.

Then his mind spun to the physical changes that would be occurring to his body in the coming months as it transformed to accommodate a pup and ultimately, give birth. The thought of going into labor and birthing a pup immediately made Bucky nauseous as he rolled to the side and faced the window. He had watched the health videos for male omegas in sex education and that propaganda had been traumatizing enough. He tried to change his thought process when blessedly; there was a knock at his door.

“Hey Bucky, can I come in?” It was Becca at the door.

The oldest Barnes sibling gave his sister the go, and she walked in and quietly shut the door behind her. Bucky sat up to get a better look at what state his sister was in.

“Do you need some relationship advice?” Bucky teased.

His younger sister scoffed as she approached his bed. Bucky scooted over from his spot and allowed her to sit next to him. She grabbed one of his pillows and sat cross legged near the end of the bed.

Becca let out a sigh as she took in her brother’s appearance, “How come you’ve been hiding from Steve?”

The omega bristled, “I am not.”

“You totally are. I heard you go out the back door the last time he came over.”

In Bucky’s defense, he had said that he would help his ma weed the garden. He shrugged it off. It wasn’t like him to be avoiding Steve, but a part of him  

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting strange and your scent is different. You’re worrying me.”

“I’m fine, Becs.” Bucky nudged his shoulder to hers. She looked unconvinced.

“Are you on drugs?”

The omega couldn’t suppress the laugh that shot out of him. “No! God, no.”

“Did you and Steve have a fight?”

Bucky knew that when it came to his sister, she was extremely observant. She knew him just as well, if not better, than Steve did. Having grown up together at 17 months apart, they were often mistaken for being twins. It wouldn’t escape her notice when her brother was doing things outside of the norm.

The omega ran his hand through his hair while his beta sister looked to him expectantly. “Steve and I haven’t been on the best grounds recently. He’s always with Sharon so he hasn’t exactly had time to spend with me.”

“So is that why you’ve been avoiding him this week?”

“Honestly? There’s some stuff going on that I’m not dealing so well with.” He scratched at his nose as his sister’s unsettled scent filled their small space.

If there was ever anyone Bucky could talk to in his family, it would be his sister. She was level headed in a way that made her easy to talk to.

“Do you want to tell me?” Becca questioned.

“I might as well at this point.” He glanced at his sister, bracing himself for her response. “I’m pregnant, Becs.”

His sister let in a shaky breath and directed her gaze down to her lap, “Wow.”

“Yeah, I- It’s not Steve’s. It happened a while back and right now? I’m scared, Becs. I don’t know how to tell mom and dad.”

“You’re keeping it?” Becca said in disbelief.

“Not in that sense.” Bucky scratched at the back of his neck, “I want to give it up for adoption. Let some deserving couple have the chance at a pup.”

“Jesus, Bucky.” The beta was still in a slight state of shock. Logically she knew that people their age could get pregnant, but the fact that it was happening to her brother was surreal. There were many questions running through her head.

“I’ve known for a little over a week now. Only you and Nat know.” He turned to look at her troubled face, “I’m trying to make the best of this.”

“Let me get this straight…you want to go through with this pregnancy and give the pup up for adoption?”

“That’s the plan.”

Becca allowed the news to sink in. Satisfied that her brother wasn’t dying or that it was the end of the world, she turned and hugged him. “Well, this explains why you’ve been throwing up and why your scent is different.”

Bucky looked affronted, “How could you tell?!”

“You’re my idiot big brother; I can always tell when something is up with you.” She hugged him tighter. Bucky acquiesced and hugged her back.

Before any tears could be shed, the siblings separated. If Bucky’s eyes were just a little watery, he swore it was from his hormones.

“So when are you going to tell mom and dad?”

“I wish I could keep it a secret forever.” Bucky groaned.  “I have no idea how they’re going to take it.”

Becca was sympathetic towards her brother. She knew that their parents could be a tough crowd, but she wouldn’t expect them to be enraged with Bucky for all of eternity. He was 18 now and perfectly capable of making his own mistakes and choices.

“Well, when you begin really putting on the baby weight, we can tell mom and dad it’s from all of the dorm food-“ she paused, “Oh crap, are you still going to go to MIT?”

“Being pregnant doesn’t imply being bed-ridden.” The omega muttered. “I could try to hide it.”

“You could wear really baggy clothing.” Becca reached across and put her hand on her brother’s stomach. “Pass it off as a food-baby or a beer gut.” Her eyes met Bucky’s, “I’ll let you borrow my sports bra, too.”

The omega shoved at his sister who began to giggle. Bucky couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face from the absurdity of her statement. He knew that the plan probably wouldn’t fly, but it was amusing nonetheless to think of himself wearing baggy sweatshirts and sweatpants. He hadn’t even thought of male omega maternity clothing, which was a whole other scary frontier. Suddenly the idea of having to wear elastic in his waistbands made him squirm.

Becca straightened herself out on his bed, “I think you will feel better if you tell mom and dad. You can keep your secret from everyone else, but I know mom will support you. Dad will probably be angry for a few days, but he’ll cool off.”

“You think so?”

Becca shrugged, “I think so, but these are just words from your kid sister. You have to make your own choices, brother.” After a moments pause, she continued, “Do you want to watch _Juno_ or something?”

The omega laughed and shook his head. For all the times that his sister could be a big pain in his ass, he loved her. It was how on a mundane weekday night, he found himself watching _Juno_ with his sister who teased him and encouraged him to face his fears.

For the first time since finding out he was pregnant, Bucky felt that things would genuinely be okay.

 ******

It was late on a Wednesday night when Bucky’s phone lit up with a text message alert. Bucky glanced at the name on the screen to see Stevie in black bolded letters. He had been reading a new book that his sister had picked up for him at the used bookstore: _What to expect when you’re expecting: A complete guide from conception to postpartum, Male Omega edition._ He was happy to be distracted from the chapter explaining how his bones were softening so that his hips could accommodate a pup.

 **Stevie** : Are you upset with me?

The omega was taken back by the accusatory feel of the text. He furrowed his brow as he tried to type out a level response, knowing that Steve’s message was completely justifiable. Bucky had been ignoring and avoiding Steve for a while, even when they were in group settings. The omega knew that technically he wasn’t being fair in avoiding the alpha. It was his own petty frustrations that were keeping him from making an effort with their friendship. He knew, deep in his heart, that it came down to an ugly jealousy formed out of his own insecurity. Perhaps it was the pregnancy hormones that were making him feel apprehensive, but tonight Bucky felt that he was ready to have a change of heart and work on their friendship.

 **BuckyB** : Not entirely. I’ve been working through things.

 **Stevie:** Anything I should be concerned about? Is this about London?

 **BuckyB** : No, it’s not about London.  

 **Stevie:** I haven’t seen or talked with you in a while. Can we hang out?

The omega glanced at the clock and frowned. He didn’t entirely want to be around people, but he also knew that alienating himself from everyone wouldn’t make his situation better. He ran his hand down his face and let out a deep exhale.

 **BuckyB** : Yeah, when are you free?

 **Stevie:** How about now? My place?

 **BuckyB** : Sure, I'll be there in 5.

 **Stevie** : Bring some popcorn. :) 

The omega hid his book underneath his mattress and rolled out of his bed. He didn’t even bother to change out of his sweats and t-shirt. He lathered on some scent diffusing spray before going downstairs to raid his kitchen and head over to the Rogers’s house.

He didn’t need to knock as the door was already unlocked for the omega to enter. He shook the bag of microwavable popcorn, the kernels echoing from the front room, “I brought the goods.”

Steve popped his face from around the corner. “In here. I’m trying to make s’mores.”

“You need a campfire to make s’mores.” The brunette ridiculed.

The alpha waved him away as Bucky tried to get a closer look at Steve trying to melt the S’mores over the open gas-lit fire, “Just let me try this.”

“You could just microwave it, you dufus.” The omega put the popcorn in the microwave and started it up. He had brought three bags knowing that between his cravings and Steve’s appetite, they would easily finish all three bags and then some.

After the alpha set down the row of s’more, he glanced over to the brunette and smiled as he took in Bucky’s relaxed form making the popcorn. He grabbed them some drinks and began to transfer the food out to the living room coffee table while Bucky finished with the giant bowl of popcorn. The omega eventually joined him, slouching back into his seat with the buttered popcorn in his lap.

“So…Your mom called me and said that you haven’t left the house in over a week.”

Bucky paused with popcorn mid-way to his mouth. He narrowed his eyes and finished stuffing the snack into his mouth. He waited until he had chewed and swallowed to reply, “She’s exaggerating.” Bucky knew that it was just like his mom to use Steve to figure out what was wrong. He rolled his eyes, “I’ll have you know that I did get out to the garage to work on some projects.”

The alpha chuckled, “That’s great, Buck. So is there anything I should be worried about?”

“Other than the crap food you’ll be eating in the UK? Nope.” Bucky smirked.

“Jerk.” The alpha muttered, smile still in place.

Steve chuckled as he got up to put _From Dusk ‘til Dawn_ into the DVD player. He sat back and offered his plate of s’mores to the omega, wherein which Bucky took and shoved one into his mouth.

He knew that now would be an opportune moment to tell Steve about the pup, but he didn’t feel settled enough with their relationship to share. He was still upset with the blonde for the times he had blown him off to hang out with Sharon. His bitterness was an ugly monster that settled low in the pit of his stomach. However, Bucky knew he needed to let these things go for the sake of their friendship. They had been through many things throughout the year and through experience, Bucky knew that it was good for them to spend some time apart to cool off. It was the cycle of their relationship.

A piece of popcorn landed on his head. He glared over at Steve.

The alpha raised a brow, “I can feel your brain overheating from here. Mind letting off some of that steam?”

Bucky positioned his body so that he was turned towards Steve. There was still room between the alpha and him, but he needed to get these thoughts out of his head.

“I guess I’m still upset about Rumlow. It’s hard to see you so happy with Sharon when my date ended up being a nightmare.” The omega set the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. “It’s nothing that you’ve done purposely, but I’ve missed having one on one time with you.”

The blonde looked taken aback, “Wow, shit…I’m sorry Bucky. I have to admit I haven’t exactly been fair to you with my time. I promise I’ll make more of an effort before I leave the states.”

The omega was somewhat pleased with the response, “I’m going to hold you to that. And when are you leaving exactly?”

“About four weeks. I’m leaving early so that I can get moved in and get my studio set up at the University.” Steve looked over to his friend, “I know it’s soon, but I feel ready for it.”

“Who would’ve thought…Steven Grant Rogers, off to make a big name for himself in the art world.”

The alpha blushed. “I don’t know about ‘big name’ exactly.”

The brunette snickered, “Man, I would pay money to see you defend your work in an art critique.”

Again, Bucky felt in the back of his mind that now would be as good a time as any to tell Steve about his situation. However, they were falling back into the familiar rhythm of being around one another and enjoying each others company. The omega allowed his body to loosen the stress as he inhaled Steve’s alpha scent of family and home. He wanted to savor it for as long as could before life caught up with them both.

* * *

 

Winifred Barnes liked to think that she was very in tune with her children. She knew and loved all of their different personalities and mannerisms. Her children were her world so when one of them began to act out of their normal range, Winifred’s maternal warnings went off.

She had noticed for weeks now that Bucky was wearing extra-heavy scent blocking deodorant. She had asked him a few times why it was necessary, but her omega son waved her off and said it was because he was tired of attracting alphas. When she had asked Bucky about him stealthily throwing up in the morning, he told her it was because he had a stomach bug.

Winifred was not convinced, but she trusted that her son would come to her when he was ready.

This was how Winifred found herself sitting next to George on their bed, watching their eldest child pace back and forth in front of them as he ran a nervous hand through his growing hair. Natasha and Becca were both standing in the corner of the room with crossed arms, overlooking the interaction quietly.  

“So, I know I’ve been acting weird the past few days.” Bucky started.

George’s brows went up, “Is this about Steve going to London?”

Bucky stumbled, “Uh, no. It’s not about Steve.”

Winifred elbowed her husband sharply. She looked back to her son, “Whatever it is, just please get it off your chest.”

There was an awkward pause of silence as both of Bucky’s parents stared at him, surely bracing for the worse. The brunette glanced to Natasha and Becca who both nodded encouragingly.

“I’m pregnant.” Bucky blurted out.

George and Winifred both straightened.

“I think I’m around 9 weeks and I’m scared out of my mind, but I’m planning to give the kid to a good adoption agency. I can still go to school at MIT. The pup is due in January, so it won’t interfere with my school schedule.”

Winifred held up a hand, “Hold on, James, let me- let me process this for a moment.” She raised both her hands to her temples and massaged them as she tried to comprehend everything her son was telling her. When Bucky had told them he wanted to speak with them, pregnancy he’d been in the top 3 things she was expecting. Despite having braced herself, it didn’t make the confession any less surprising.

George was immediately on the defense, “Who is the father?” Bucky shook his head, reluctant to respond. Mr. Barnes turned and looked to Natasha, “Are you?”

Natasha chuckled, “No, I’m definitely not.”

“Is it Steve?” he followed. .

Becca snorted with amusement.

Bucky groaned, “Dad, no. It’s not him. It’s, fuck, it was Brock Rumlow.”

Winifred’s eyes widened in surprise, “The Rumlow boy? _Really_? Have you told him yet?”

“No, ma. I don’t want him getting involved with this. It’s my choice.” Bucky explained.

George stood up from the bed in fury, “Did he force himself on you?”

“No!” Bucky startled, “Dad, no, I wanted to have sex with him. We uh, we didn’t use the right condom.” Technically, Bucky knew it was true that he had wanted to have sex with Brock. The problem was that Brock didn’t respect his wishes to not be knotted (or use the right condom).

“I’m going to drive down to that knothead’s house and-“

“You will do no such thing! George, sit down!” Mrs. Barnes barked at her husband before he could finish his sentence.

The family took a few quiet breathes, each one trying to take in the news at their own pace. Winifred was upset with the news, but she also was proud that Bucky was already thinking ahead for his future. She couldn’t berate her son; he had already made his mistakes and was trying to amend for them. Winifred reached over and took George’s hand in hopes that his angry alpha scent would taper down.

“James, if you are certain that you want to go through with this, then we will support you 100% of the way.” His mother stated as smoothly as she could.

Bucky let out a breath of relief, “Thanks, ma. You’re really not going to murder me?”

She shook her head. “If this is what you want, then we will do what we can to help you. That’s what family does.”

Their son felt his eyes sting with tears as he nodded, walking forward to his parents who both stood to embrace him. George was still emitting irritated pheromones, but Bucky knew it was towards Rumlow and not himself. It was the right for any parent to be upset and want revenge on anyone that seemingly did their child harm

“I went to the doctor and I have prenatal vitamins. I made my next appointment in a few weeks to check up on the pup.” Bucky allowed the secure scent of family and home to envelope him. He was no longer shaking with nerves.

“Have you told your friends yet?” Winifred asked.

Bucky sighed, “No, not yet. I don’t know if I will.” He paused for one more deep breath before breaking apart from his parents. “So you’re really not mad? You aren’t going to make me mow the lawn for eternity?”

His mother rolled her eyes. “I’m upset, yes, but more so that you will have to be going through this. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but you’re going to have a difficult time. You’re a male omega, so there are certain risks and complications for you.” She pressed her hand to her son’s cheek. “People are going to be talking. I want you to know that we’re still proud of you for being brave and thinking of your future.”

The omega felt the tears coming back. He gasped in a breath to keep them at bay. “Thank you, ma.” She hugged him again.

George still had his arms crossed, “If you just say the word, I will be happy to call that Rumlow boy’s parents and give them a piece of my mind.”

Bucky chuckled, “No, dad, it’s fine. It takes a party of two, remember?”

George ran a hand down his face, “Good Lord, James.”

Natasha walked forward, taking Bucky’s hand. “You have all the support you need here. Let’s do this. ” She smiled. Becca walked up and hugged Bucky from behind, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

Winifred seemed pleased, even though her heart was hurting for her son. She knew what he was about to face, and her mind worried with all of the obstacles he could and would face. Some people in the world were cruel and would inflict their judgements on him. She knew that Bucky had a pretty thick skin, but it wasn’t fair that life was throwing this at him at such a young age. Nonetheless, she was proud of the young man he had grown up to be; mistakes and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this chapter is a bit short. (It is 10 pages...) I debated on combining it with the next chapter, but I wanted Chapter 5 to exclusively cover Bucky's relationship with his family and his repair with Steve. I should hopefully have the next chapter up within the next few days. :)  
> Next Chapter: The end of summer, a goodbye, and a surprise.  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The omega glanced fondly towards the blonde, “You gettin cold feet?”  
> “Not cold feet, but my toes are awfully icy.”  
> “I know what you mean.” Bucky pushed his shoulder against the alpha’s. Steve responded with his own nudge. The omega raised his can of soda to the sky, “Welcome to adulthood, Stevie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the warnings in the tags. Warnings for confessions and smut ahead! :)

It was the end of June and things were looking up for Bucky and his friends. The crew had been active in getting together as often as they could whenever their schedules lined up. Most of them had summer jobs, but it didn’t stop them all from trying to get together as much as possible. Steve worked as a bag boy at a local grocery store and had a reputation for charming the pants off the old ladies who frequented there. As for Bucky, he helped out from time to time at a mechanic shop. The owner was an old classmate of George’s who always paid Bucky fairly for his hard work. If there were ever spare parts that were to be tossed, he would allow the omega to dig through them to take home.

Steve had been making good on his promise to spend more time with his best friend and the rest of the group as his days in the states were numbered. He would be leaving a few days after his birthday for his new life in the UK which, quite frankly, terrified and excited him. In all, he only had two and a half weeks left in the states.  He had already gotten his dorm mate’s number; a man named Sam Wilson who lived in New York City. The pair had been texting back and forth and had planned to meet up soon.

“So let me get this straight…out of all the people they could’ve bunked you with, they put you with the kid from NYC?” Bucky was flipping through some of Steve’s sketches, but had paused when the alpha relayed the message to him. They had been hanging out for most of the day, going through artwork for Steve to pack into his portfolio and sorting through items to take and donate.

“Yeah, he’s from Harlem. He sounds like a cool guy and I want you to meet him. You have a pretty good feel for people.” Steve explained.

Bucky snorted, “I don’t know about that. But sure, whatever you say, Stevie. I can interrogate him for you and make sure he doesn’t have any weird dirty sock fetishes.”

“I’ll have you know that my feet smell terrific.” Steve grumbled.

“Yeah, I’m sure they smell great to a skunk rifling through a trash can.”

The alpha threw a pencil at the omega’s head. Bucky was still smiling when he picked it up and threw it back at him.

“MIT has no idea what kind of a smartass they’re about to get.” The blonde put his hands on his hips, “Your professors are in for a surprise.”

The omega set down the sketchbook as he laid back on Steve’s bed with an audible exhale, “At least I’m not on Tony’s level of smartassery. You know we’re rooming together, right?”

Steve’s blue eyes widened. “Was this on purpose?”

“Completely on purpose. Rhodey is going to be rooming with us, too. So it’ll be all three of us at this apartment that Tony found off-campus. We got it approved from admissions so I don’t need to spend the first year in the freshman dorms.”

“What a shame you’ll be missing out on dorm life.”

“Living with Tony will be experience enough for me. Thank god I’ll have Rhodey there to level the peace.” Bucky stretched his arms above his head, his shirt riding up marginally. He felt bloated and soft, but looking at a mirror didn’t show any marked differences. Most of the changes he was experiencing were hormone induced emotions, nausea, slight food cravings for sweets, and the feeling that he had eaten 5 lbs. of Taco Bell. The newest changes had been the sudden occurrence of frequent heartburn and overly sensitive nipples. At this point, Bucky was used to muttering ‘what the fuck’ under his breath whenever new physical things came up.

There was a dip in the bed that pulled the omega from his thoughts. The alpha sat at the corner next to his friend, his back to him.

“I’ve missed this.” Steve said amid the laptop’s sound of Nirvana playing in the background. His voice was only loud enough for Bucky to make out the words. The omega knew what Steve was referring to so he hummed his agreeance.

“Are you about to get sappy on me, Rogers?” Bucky went for a joking tone, but the alpha seemed serious. It was clear that Steve needed to get some things off his chest. The omega mentally prepared for whatever it was the blonde wanted to say.

“I feel like the world’s biggest ass.” Steve continued, “I’ve been thinking about these past few weeks and everything that has happened. With you, with Sharon…I’m not good at this.” Steve ran his fingers together, “I know we’ve made college plans and I bailed on you. Instead of telling you I was considering London, I laid it on you over the phone and that was a dick move. I know that you say that you’re okay with it, but I know you better than that. Just like you say you’re fine, but I can tell that something is wrong and it’s killing me that you won’t tell me. I can barely scent you anymore.”

The omega sat up immediately, ears burning. He knew that his body language was on the defense.

“I feel like whatever it is that’s going on, Rumlow is involved. Can you please tell me what happened? I’ve been able to piece things together, but I want to hear it from you.” Steve’s voice had taken on a desperate tone.

“If I tell you, what are you going to do? Why do you want to know?” Bucky challenged.

The blonde levelled him with a pleading look, “Please, Buck. You’re my best friend; you’re family. I want to be there for you.”

The omega cleared his voice and shuffled back on Steve’s bed, pushing his back against the headboard. He hadn’t talked about the night with anyone except for Natasha, and even then he hadn’t told her the full details. Bucky was afraid that by telling Steve, he would be re-living the event. At the same time, he was growing tired of keeping things secret from Steve.

“The night went to hell, Steve. That night, I thought that I would be having a fun hook-up with Brock and that would be it. Instead, the asshole knotted me without my consent.” The alpha flinched, face falling into horror. Bucky continued angrily, “I also asked him to use an alpha condom and he didn’t. I had to have a doctor fish a broken condom out of me and I had to take emergency contraceptives. And you know what’s the best part? The universe thought that if that wasn’t bad enough, the contraceptives failed, Steve.”

The blonde sat frozen in his spot. His mouth was open for a moment as he tried to piece together his next sentence, “Wait, so you’re-”

“I’m pregnant, yeah. And it sucks, Steve. It fucking sucks but I’m going to turn this shit show into rainbows if I have to.”

Steve averted his eyes to Bucky’s stomach where he knew that logically there wouldn’t be much sign of a pup yet, but it still drew him in with what it meant. The alpha stood from the bed and turned his back to Bucky, running his hand over his mouth and chin, trying to come up with a response.

It ended up being, “And you’re keeping it?”

Bucky exhaled, “No, I’m going to give it to a couple who will love it and have a better idea of how to raise it. I’m still going to MIT, but I’m not telling anyone about this if I can avoid it.”

When Steve turned around, there were tears in his eyes. Bucky’s defenses softened as he took in the hurt look on the alpha.

“I’m dealing with it, Stevie. My family and Nat know. Tony knows, too. They’ve all been sworn to keep it under wraps since I don’t want this to be a big deal. I don’t want to be remembered as the guy that got knocked up at prom.”

Bucky thought back on when he told his fellow omega friend. Tony had been shocked at first but incredibly supportive. It made Bucky’s heart swell that they had made such a clear connection that day when Tony leaned to him and hugged him. He knew Tony was not one to initiate or participate in acts of such physical affection, but it was what the omega had needed; to smell the brotherly comfort of another male omega that could empathize.

“God, you’ve been going through this and here I am, adding more fuel to the fire.” The alpha lamented, “I’m so sorry, Bucky. I’m so, so sorry…I should have done more.”

The omega shrugged, “And do what, kill him?”

“You need to report him, Buck. It’s not right that he’s walking around Brooklyn without consequence while you have-“ he motioned towards Bucky’s abdomen. “Does he know?”

Bucky shook his head. “No, and I thought about pressing charges. But…I did want to have sex with him, then. I wanted it badly.  Not the knot, but I wanted him. It just turned to shit in the heat of the moment. I want to forget about it and move on.”

“No means no, Bucky. Don’t justify it.”

“I’m not!”

“You are! He should be in jail, Bucky!” Steve stepped closer, pointing his finger out the window in anger.

Bucky looked away, “I made my choices and I ask that you respect them.” Logically, Bucky knew he could report Brock to the authorities, but he didn’t want to go through with everything it would entail to investigate, prosecute, and have the information leak to everyone. He was embarrassed and humiliated enough. At this point, he only wanted to forget about Brock, continue with life, and focus on his future.  

Steve sat back down on the bed, running his hand down his face.

“Since we’re still getting things off of our chests; I’m mad at you for bailing on me on our Friday nights and leaving me in the dust so that you could hang out with Sharon.”

“I’m still processing that you’re pregnant. Jesus, Bucky…” the alpha let out a deep breath and looked to the omega, “I can’t change what I did, but I am sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I was upset that you went out with Brock for the prom over me.”

“You told me you were okay with it.” Bucky countered.

“Begrudgingly, yes. I didn’t want to seem like the selfish cad that stopped you from pursuing your high school crush.”

“Well, at least now you can say ‘I told you so’, right?”

Steve looked like he had been visibly slapped. The hurt was evident in his eyes as his brow creased, “You know I would never think that about you.”

The omega felt regret for letting the words leave his mouth, but at the same time it felt good to get them off of his chest. He breathed shakily, “I’m angry at myself Steve. I’m angry that I didn’t see through Rumlow the way that you and everyone else did. I’m angry that everything between us got so muddied up. I’m angry that you spent so much of your time with Sharon when I felt fucked in the head. I’m upset that you waited so long to tell me about London.”

The alpha let Bucky finish, taking his words to heart. He knew that Bucky was fair to feel upset on every account. He was left speechless, so he approached the brunette carefully and sat next to him against the headboard when Bucky made room for him.

“So much has happened and everything is changing so fast, Steve. I’m nervous about everything.”

The two of them sat close to one another, staring down at their laps as they processed their situation. The alpha was glad that the omega was able to finally speak to him even though the truth hurt to hear. There wasn’t much more they could say between them now that everything had been laid out on the table.

“I’m not going to justify why I did the things I did, but I want you to know that I’m sorry for leaving when you needed me most. I’m sorry I’m leaving in a few weeks to another country while you’re here dealing with the fallout of that night. I’m sorry for everything, Buck.” He looked over to the brunette, “Despite everything, I’m still with you to the end of the line, pal.”

A faint smile graced Bucky’s lips. “That’s all I ask, punk.” He leaned his head on to Steve’s broad shoulder and inhaled his musky sandalwood scent. It was a soothing comfort that he would never grow tired of. “I’m still upset with you, but my heartburn is killing me and I don’t have the energy to yell at you anymore.”

Steve chuckled and repositioned them so that his arms were around Bucky’s shoulders. The omega moved between the blonde’s legs, resting his back against the alpha’s chest. He felt safe and secure in the embrace and couldn’t help but to note that to anyone on the outside, the position would seem wildly intimate.

Steve’s longer legs framed the omega’s muscular legs. Although Steve was crazy built, Bucky always did have stronger leg muscles than the alpha.

“So what is it like to be pregnant? How are you feeling?” the blonde asked inquisitively. .

“I feel like I’m bloated, nauseous, and hungry all at the same time.” Bucky groaned. “It sucks, Steve. Every day I wonder what curveball my body is going to throw at me next.”

“Are you going to tell everyone?”

“God, no. I’m going to wear baggy clothing in the fall and pretend I just gained a lot of stress weight.”

The alpha chuckled lightly. He leaned forward and scented behind Bucky’s ear. Up this close, he could faintly smell the omega’s natural aroma. Steve closed his eyes and lightly inhaled the pine like scent he cared for so much, though it was fresher, almost sweeter than before. He couldn’t detect anything else as the scent diffusers were strong around Bucky’s scent glands.  

“What happened to us?” Bucky asked quietly.

Steve shook his head, “Life. The best and worst thing to happen.”

The omega breathed out, resting his head back on to Steve’s shoulder. They had always been comforted by physical contact with one another ever since they were kids..

“So what does it feel like?” Steve gestured to his stomach, “With a baby in there.”

Bucky grabbed his hand and placed it over his abdomen. “I can’t feel it moving yet, but I feel really bloated and soft. I get nauseous from weird things like cereal and black licorice.”

“Do you know how big it is?”

“About an inch and a half or something. I go to the doctor again in two weeks for a check-up. It’s kind of like I’m growing my own science experiment in there. It’s weird.”

The alpha hummed in interest as he rested his head back against the head board and closed his eyes, taking in this moment with his best friend. He had missed the physicality of their relationship; the touches, the hugs, the comfortable touch and go between them. He had been trying to limit it for the sake of Sharon. She was not as keen on understanding the relationship Steve had with Bucky. To her, it was unusual for an omega and an alpha to be as close as they were without crossing the bridge into a romantic relationship. Steve had done his best to reassure her that it was a brotherly love, though he knew that wasn’t the right word for what Bucky and he had.

They were both becoming scent drunk on one another now that their heated nerves had settled. Bucky felt himself dozing to sleep, wrapped in the scent he had known since childhood. Even though it was hot and sticky outside, the omega basked in the heat that Steve gave off; he always ran as hot as a furnace.

******

The pair ended up taking a long afternoon nap together. It was two hours later with Steve’s phone going off to the sound of Journey’s “The Final Countdown” that roused the omega awake. At this point, the two of them had moved down from the headboard with Steve sprawled all over the bed and Bucky wrapped around his side, head on his chest.

“Make it stop.” Bucky groaned as the phone started up again.

The blonde was snoring softly above the omega. Bucky cursed and reached around to the bedside table to grab Steve’s phone where Clint’s name was flashing on the screen.

“Hey, Barton.” Bucky answered with a yawn. He put Clint on speaker.

There was a pause before a surprised laugh echoed on the other line, “Shit, took me a moment to figure out the voice. Hey man, we’re all getting together at Nat’s this evening. Her parents are out of town for a few days so we’re having a kickback. Do you and Steve want to join?”

By this point, the blonde had opened his eyes to blearily look at the other. He nodded, “I’m in.”

“Wow, you guys sound tired. What were you two up to?” Clint asked.

“Taking a nap.” The blonde chuckled,  “So what time should we head over?” Steve asked.

“Nat wants you here around 6ish. If you could pick up some pizza, that would be great.”

“Yeah, we can do that. See you guys in-“ Bucky narrowed his eyes at the wall clock, “-an hour.”

After hanging up, Steve pulled Bucky back down to him, wrapping he omega in a bear hug. Bucky yelled out in surprise, laughing as he tried to detangle himself from the blonde.

“We’re going to break your bed if we grapple each other!” Bucky squirmed. He placed his knees firmly on the bed, pushing them both up. They had wrestled many times before with one another, usually resulting in some bruising and a tousled appearance.

The two of them wrestled until Steve’s phone went off again. At this point, Bucky had gotten enough leverage to have the alpha pinned to the bed with his legs wrapped around Steve’s and an arm pinning his chest down.

Steve tapped out and grabbed his phone, pausing as he read the name on the screen before answering.

“Hey, Sharon.”

The omega sighed and straightened off of the bed to fix his shirt and shorts. He reached over by Steve’s door to put on his plaid over-shirt to cover up the scars on his arm while Steve spoke on the phone with the other beta.

“Uh, yeah. I’m going to Natasha’s tonight. Bucky and I are going to head over there together in a bit since we’re on pizza duty.” He glanced over at Bucky and smiled apologetically, “-No, I didn’t work this afternoon. Buck has been helping me sort some of my stuff out for London. I know; I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Will you be at Natasha’s tonight? I’m sure Janet will give you a ride.”

At this point, Bucky left the room and used the restroom. When he came back, Steve was putting on his shoes and grabbing his messenger bag.

“Everything okay?” the omega ventured.

Steve shrugged, “As well as it could be. Honestly, things have been difficult between us.” He grabbed a comb and began to fix his messy short hair, “I’m leaving soon and I don’t think I can handle the stress of a long distance relationship. She knows this too, so…I guess we’re just going through the motions until the inevitable.”

The brunette crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. “Are you okay with the inevitable?”

“I am, actually. Sharon is going to be moving to Chicago soon so it makes it easier, knowing that we all are starting new chapters of our lives.” He smiled sadly.

Bucky clapped Steve on the back as they made their way out of the house. They took the Volkswagen to a nearby pizza parlor before driving the pale blue Beetle over to Natasha’s. They could’ve technically taken public transport, but Steve was beginning to grow sentimental over the car he had laboriously helped bring back to life with the omega.  When they shuffled the boxes of pizza up to Natasha’s apartment, Clint was there to meet them with a smile.

“Smells good! Please tell me you got a meat lovers?” he asked as he took the stack from Bucky.

“Yeah, we got two meat lovers in there. Watch out, Bucky got one with garlic and anchovies.” Steve glanced over to the smiling omega, “Which is disgusting. That’s all yours, Buck.”

As they set up the food on the table, Natasha greeted them with an amused smirk.

“Did you two have a good ‘nap this afternoon?” the red haired woman asked.

Bucky blushed and walked out of the room while Steve chuckled light-heartedly. The two began talking while the brunette omega began to pour himself some sprite with cherry grenadine. He noticed that Natasha had set up some choice selections of liquor and mixers on one of the counters. While he was taking inventory, he heard the familiar voices of Janet, Tony, Rhodey, Thor, Wanda, Sharon, and Pietro from the front room.

“Hey, I missed you.” Sharon walked over to Steve and initiated a light kiss on his lips while she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. The alpha reciprocated before they pulled apart. “Did you get a lot done today?”

Bucky left them to their conversation as the slight floral smell of Sharon’s perfume wafted towards him. He still couldn’t stomach her smell so he drifted towards the more comfortable smell of the omega twins. Pietro was the first to spot him and greeted him with a huge grin. Pietro and Bucky had always gotten along well with their sarcastic sense of brooding humor. The younger twin was in a band and had invited Bucky to many of their jam sessions in the past.

As the night progressed, Natasha encouraged everyone to eat, drink, and play games. Many of them ended up circled around the coffee table to play Cards Against Humanity while Thor, Janet, and Sharon continued to look on and talk about college plans.

Bucky sat between Clint and Rhodey, relaxing in their scents and enjoying his 4th slice of (smelly) pizza. He finished off his drink and allowed Wanda to fetch him another as they continued on with their game. When Wanda handed him back his drink, he took a sip and then spit it back into his cup as discreetly as possible. Apparently, the other omega thought he was drinking a vodka cranberry. The omega didn’t touch his drink throughout the game, and at the end, Natasha stealthily grabbed it and replaced it with a sprite. She winked at him as she handed him the appropriate beverage and the omega smiled thankfully.

As the night wore on, the entertainment moved to drinking games. By this point, almost everyone was pleasantly drunk or buzzed (save for Bucky). They were laughing and cheering on as Thor was downing the King’s Cup when Steve walked up behind Bucky and put an arm around him.

“How’re you doing, Buck?” Steve murmured. He was definitely slightly drunk, but it was subtle. The brunette could only really tell because he knew Steve enough that when he was this loose limbed and relaxed, it meant there might be some alcohol behind it. He didn’t smell alcohol on Steve, but he did smell Sharon’s possessive scent all over him.

“I’m enjoying the show.” He nodded his head over to Rhodey who was creating a new rule for all the 7 cards. As Bucky was watching, he caught eyes with Sharon who was watching them guardedly. He averted his gaze

The blonde hummed, “You smell like fishy garlic.”

“I know, so why are ya hovering over here when you could be schmoozing with your girlfriend?”

Steve chuckled and shook his head, pushing his forehead to the back of Bucky’s head, “Come outside with me for some fresh air?”

The omega followed Steve out to the balcony. On their way out, Bucky grabbed another slice of his pizza. He sat down on one of the wicker chairs and began eating while Steve leaned his arms on the railing and listened to the sounds of the city. They shared the space in companionable silence until Bucky finished off his snack.

“Your birthday is in a few days, Stevie. What did you want to do to celebrate?”

Steve shrugged, “I was thinking we could go at the top of Clint’s building like last year to grill some hamburgers and drink a couple of beers. American things, you know?”

“And we’ll all salute you as the fireworks go off, right?”

“That’s the plan.” The blonde smiled goofily.  

******

_6 days later_

“Happy Birthday, Steve!” The group screamed out at different levels of volume while Steve blew out the candles on his birthday cake. He was laughing joyously as the group took pictures of him with his red, white, and blue cake with the picture of a bald eagle on it. Over the years, Steve had learned to own the Americana themed birthday (except for the one year that Bucky got him a Canadian flag cake).

Over the past few days, Steve had packed away most of the things he would need for London in two large suitcases and a duffle bag. It was a bittersweet feeling to see his room look so plain, but Bucky and his mother had been helping him every step of the way.

He glanced over to his friend who was fanning the sweat beading off of his forehead in the humid July evening. The omega was talking with Rhodey and laughing with his head thrown back. Steve smiled contentedly at the scene while Sharon approached with the first cut of cake.

“Happy Birthday, Steve.” She smiled as she handed him the cake. He turned and thanked her good naturedly, taking the cake. The pair had decided to end their relationship three days before and although Steve was sad about it at first, they both agreed that it made more sense for them to continue on as friends versus embarking on a (very) long distance relationship. Even though their status had changed, it didn’t stop Sharon from initiating physical affection.

She kissed him on the cheek and rubbed his shoulder with a soft smile before walking away to grab another piece of cake. The alpha watched her go with appreciation; she really was a beautiful woman.

As the evening continued on, Steve made his rounds to all of his friends until the night was dark enough for the fireworks to commence. The evening served as both his birthday party, and a going away celebration. With a beer in his hand, he leaned on the railing and looked up to the night sky forlornly. He was filled with so many emotions that he wondered again and again if he was making the right decision.

“Brooklyn won’t be the same without you, you know.” Bucky expressed matter-of-factly as he came to stand next to the blonde.

The first set of fireworks began to rise and explode in the night sky. Steve glanced over to his friend to see the colors reflect across the brunette’s face. “It won’t be the same without you either, jerk.”

The omega glanced fondly towards the blonde, “You gettin cold feet?”

“Not cold feet, but my toes are awfully icy.”

“I know what you mean.” Bucky pushed his shoulder against the alpha’s. Steve responded with his own nudge. The omega raised his can of soda to the sky, “Welcome to adulthood, Stevie.”

The pair watched the rest of the fireworks in comfortable silence, the weight of Steve’s imminent departure heavy on their minds. They had been enjoying their time together, but it was soon coming to a close. Bucky had made sure to set up SnapChat and Facetime for the both of them so that their communication would be open and easy.

Steve was feeling more confident about London now that he had been emailed his class schedule and met up with his roommate, Sam Wilson. Sam and Steve had immediately hit it off and had been arranging who pack what before their flight in three days. It was surreal to think that he would be flying across the Atlantic to a new life, but he felt excited for the change.

After the fireworks, the group continued to chat and celebrate in Steve’s honor. There were few dry eyes as they all recognized that this was one of their last parties together before they all dispersed for the next chapters of their lives.

Bucky had been feeling unsettled all day. He felt a buzzing underneath his skin that he swore was from nerves and stress. He was worried about Steve and how he would adjust to London, just as he was worried about what he was going to do without the alpha in the coming months. Steve’s scent in the past few days had helped reduce his nausea and nerves. But today? The nerves were back in full force.

The omega sipped on ginger ale throughout the night, looking warm and fevered as he interacted with his friends and surveyed how Steve was fairing. It was an emotional evening that, when the late hours ticked by and people began to leave, Bucky offered to drive an exhausted Steve home.

“I didn’t even drink that much tonight.” Steve sighed as they piled into the Volkswagen. He set his bag of gifts into the back of the car. “I probably should be ragingly drunk, but I didn’t have it in me to forget this night.”

Bucky hummed in agreeance, his nose tickling as he sensed a hint Sharon’s scent on Steve. He wiped the sweat from his brow as his stomach cramped lightly. He brushed it off as heat sickness as he drove them back to their neighborhood.

The alpha was memorizing all the streets and signs fondly as they drove and listened to music. People were still out in the streets lighting off illegal fireworks and partying. It was a sight that had them slowing down the car to take in.

When they reached home, the omega followed the blonde inside the house, helping him to set the box of gifts on his table. They had already planned that Bucky would spend the night and watch _Mystery Science Theatre 3000_ with Steve and a pile of junk food.

“Are you tired?” Steve asked.

“Nope.” Bucky waved him off. “Just feeling a little warm. Can I use your shower before I change into sweats?”

“Go for it. I’ll get the DVDs and the snacks set up.”

*

There was something heavenly to Bucky when he was able to use Steve’s soaps and bask in the feeling of being clean as he washed away the salty sweat from his body. He groaned as his muscles relaxed under the heat of the water. He still felt like his senses were on high alert, but he felt more relieved once he scrubbed himself clean and changed into some basketball shorts and a T-shirt.

He padded back downstairs when he was finished, towel drying his hair as he met Steve on the couch. Steve had also changed into sweats and took the time to set up the popcorn, chips, and assorted candies on the coffee table. The brunette smiled widely and sat next to the younger man who passed to him the bag of sour gummi worms. He pressed play and the pair began watching the episode on _The Prince of Space._

The omega shamelessly pressed up close to Steve, absorbing his intoxicating scent while Steve draped an arm around his shoulder. They joked as they watched the movie, laughing at all of the predictable parts and enjoying each other while outside they heard fireworks going off every so often.

“I have my three month appointment this coming Friday.” Bucky stated, feeling content but still very hot under the collar.

“Wow, already?” Steve adjusted the arm that was around Bucky’s shoulder, repositioning it lower so that his hand could snake around to the omega’s belly. “I didn’t realize you were having a food baby, too!”

The brunette smacked his chest. “I’ll have you know that I am a delicate flower.”

“You don’t smell like any flower I know, Barnes.”

The omega snorted as Steve leaned in to scent him. He paused midway, brows creased as he realized the strong scent was all Bucky without the diffusers. Usually they would scent each other in passing, but the omega smelled especially good without the presence of all the deodorants he wore to mask his pregnant scent. He must have washed them all off when he showered.

“Can I properly scent you?” Steve asked quietly, his skin buzzing from the omega’s stirringly pleasant smell.

Bucky looked over to him in surprise. Scenting one another was a very intimate display of affection that the two of them hadn’t fully participated in for a while. It wasn’t an unusual request between family members and lovers since scenting helped to strengthen bonds and ties of love and adoration. The omega craved that attention and even though he knew Steve was probably just reacquainting himself with Bucky’s full omega scent, he nodded whole-heartedly.

“Right here, right now?” the omega waved his hand over the couch.

“Unless you rather we do it later. I’m sorry, it’s just- I can fully smell your scent now and it’s amazing.”

“No, it’s cool. I’d like to scent you too before you leave. You know you’ve always smelled good to me.” The omega detached himself from the alpha and scooted to lean back on the couch.

 “I’m sorry if this is weird. Just tell me if it’s too much.” Steve was already apologizing, trying not to spook the omega. He knew that his alpha pheromones were heating up with the need to get Bucky’s scent all over him. He took a deep breath.

“C’mon, jerk, we’ve done this before. It’s never weird.” Bucky watched him closely. On sensing Steve’s eyes still on him, he smiled softly and bore his neck to the alpha, inviting him to scent

When they were little, they used to scent each other regularly as siblings would. As kids, scenting wasn’t as long and detailed as it was for them now. Bucky would scent his sisters with a warm hug and a rub of his nose to their neck (which usually lead to play-fighting and squawking at each other). With Steve, it was much the same until they entered into high school.

Steve was gentle as he leaned in and brushed his nose behind Bucky’s ear. Without the scented deodorants, Bucky smelled purely of cozy pregnant omega. It twisted beautifully with his fresh pine scent, which had Steve rubbing the tip of his nose along Bucky’s neck. The brunette closed his eyes and put his hands on Steve’s shoulders, angling his body towards the bigger man. He rested one leg up on the couch and allowed it to brush against the others.

It was intoxicating to be this close to the blonde. His sandalwood, musky scent filled Bucky’s nose and relaxed the muscles in his body. The alpha was opening his mouth and breathing in his scent at the base of his neck, close to his bonding glands which ached at the presence of a strong, viable alpha.

_Shit._

“Tell me when to stop.” Steve whispered. The brunette nodded receptively.

“Oh, I’ll tell you when to stop.” The omega whispered.

The younger man laughed out loud, crouching down to run his nose along Bucky’s neck again. He breathed in his scent and ran his nose and forehead softly along the exposed skin of the omega’s neck, drowning himself in the pheromones. For the two of them, it was always incredibly relaxing and grounding. Eventually Bucky hummed in annoyance, causing the alpha to laugh sheepishly as he presented his own neck. Bucky buried his face against the crook of Steve’s neck, inhaling his calming alpha pheromones.

Satisfied that they both smelled like one another and family, Steve sighed and sat back, facing the omega. His hand reached out tentatively, “Can I?”

The brunette nodded in permission. Steve scooted down from his seated position and nosed at Bucky’s abdomen where the pup was growing. It tickled a little bit, but Bucky was curious to see where this was going.

“My ma said that it’s about the size of a fig right now.” Bucky chuckled, “It’s crazy to think that something that small is creating havoc on my body.”

“I’m still processing that you’re pregnant. It’s surreal.” Steve ran his hand over the omega’s abdomen. He lifted Bucky’s shirt questioningly. The older man nodded, allowing Steve to pull the shirt up just above his belly button.

Bucky had always been fit throughout high school; he had baseball, boxing, and an active lifestyle to thank for that. He had nice abs that were still visible, but his lower abdomen did look partially swollen thanks to all of the raging hormones causing changes to his body. Steve pressed his nose against the omega’s stomach and took in a soft inhale.

It was then that Bucky realized how incredibly intimate this whole display was. He shuddered, reaching a hand down to run through Steve’s hair.

“I can just slightly make out the scent of the pup.” Steve whispered, “It smells more like you, but brighter. Warmer.”

Bucky’s face reddened as he felt slick slowly tingle along the cleft of his ass. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want Steve exactly where he was at. Unfortunately, Bucky’s dick was beginning to gain interest in the proximity and smell of a virile alpha.

“I think its scent will get stronger as it grows.” Bucky surmised.

Steve hummed in agreeance, scooting back up the couch but keeping his hand on Bucky’s stomach. The omega honed in to the feeling of home surrounding the alpha, but felt himself growing slightly dizzy with the need for more scenting. He turned on to his side and pressed his face into the angle of Steve’s neck and shoulder, breathing in his smell and rubbing his nose against Steve’s bonding gland. The blonde exhaled shakily.

The small thrum that Bucky was experiencing began to heighten. He pressed his body close to Steve’s and stopped as he smelled his own arousal mixed with the other’s. A rush of slick trickled down the cleft of the omega’s ass and down his inner thighs. He turned bright red as he sat back, embarrassed.

“Shit, Steve, your scent is kind of turning me on.” Bucky confessed, slightly mortified that he just got slick on Steve’s couch. “I’m sorry, my body is getting excited.”

The alpha’s face was reddening as he took in the situation. He wasn’t immune to the smell of Bucky’s arousal, to which his own body showed interest with the impressive growing boner he was sporting in his shorts and trying to hide. The brunette glanced down, saw what the bigger man was packing, and laughed at the ridiculousness of the fucked up situation that was his life. 

“I’m not sure how to proceed here.” Steve swallowed the worry in his throat, brows furrowed with a light sheen of sweat.

The two sat next to one another, aroused and scent drunk off of each other’s pheromones. The alpha musk rolling off of Steve was making the brunette’s body ache with want. It should’ve been completely mortifying, but the omega didn’t feel an impending sense of doom or shame.

“How do you want to proceed?”  Bucky ventured, taking the plunge with the situation. He had always been curious on how sexually compatible the two of them were. He felt right now might be a good a time as any to find out before Steve ventured off to the UK and Bucky left for MIT.

The blonde’s breath hitched. He ran a hand down Bucky’s waist, gripping his hip with purpose as they faced each other, bodies angled towards one another. Steve looked at him searchingly, finding only trust and arousal reflected in the brunette’s grey-blue eyes.

“Are you sure you want to continue?” Steve questioned. Bucky nodded, but the blonde pressed on nervously, “I mean 100% positive, Buck. You mean everything to me and I don’t want to ruin our friendship and what we’ve built together by going farther than what you or I are comfortable with.”

In a moment of bravery, Bucky ran his hand down the front of Steve’s shorts to grip the alpha’s aching cock. He felt another stream of slick rush down his thigh as he felt the sizable girth of the alpha. “I’m really sure.”

The brunette felt ready to get this show on the road, but Steve was still talking, “I leave for London in 3 days, Bucky. I don’t want to make it harder on us.”

Bucky moved on top to straddle Steve’s hips. He ground his dick against Steve’s, causing the younger man to moan out loud. “Steven Grant Rogers, will you do me the honor of properly knotting me? I don’t want the only memory I have of being knotted to be with Rumlow. Nor do I want the last alpha I slept with to be him.” Bucky’s eyes softened as he took in Steve’s serious look from the mention of the other alpha. “Please, Steve. I know I can trust you and there’s no one else I would rather share this with. Please give me at this before you go.”

The blonde sat up dizzily and faced the omega, their breath mingling. “You want me to knot you?”

The brunette nodded slowly, “I want it to be you. I’ve trusted you my whole life; I can trust you with this, too.”

To hell with what had happened between him and Brock. He wanted his ‘first time’ knot to be with someone he knew would cherish it and take care of him.

“I’ve never knotted anyone before.” Steve replied carefully, running a hand through Bucky’s hair.

This surprised the omega, “Really? You and Sharon never-“

“She wasn’t ready to and I made sure to respect her wishes.” Steve bit his lip, wanting to change the subject, “But I would love to knot you. I mean, I would be honored.”

Bucky smiled brightly, feeling overwhelmed with the prospect that he was about to bed his best friend. He leaned forward and kissed the blonde fully on the lips. Steve melted immediately and began to give back in earnest, careful and methodical with his kisses. He was completely enthralled by the omega, giving as much as he could into the kiss.

Unlike his time with Rumlow, Bucky found Steve to be the receptive, patient partner he had fantasized about in his dreams. Steve was reverent as he took off Bucky’s shirt. He took extra care to kiss down Bucky’s mangled left arm, kissing him all the way down to the fingertips. Bucky didn’t have much feeling in the arm, but it still felt good.

He leaned in again to kiss Bucky, slipping in tongue partway through the kiss that caused Bucky’s toes to curl.

_God, why haven’t I done this sooner?_

“I feel like I should warn you that I’ve never had sex with a male omega.” Steve confessed.

“I’ll show you what I like.” He guided Steve’s hand to his left nipple, twisting the sensitive nub between his fingers. The alpha mirrored the action, earning a pleased moan from the smaller man.

Bucky calmed the other’s anxieties by continuing to kiss him, divesting Steve of his clothing. The alpha was all muscle and power beneath with an erection that Bucky knew he’d be singing praises for. He gripped the man’s cock in his hand, running his thumb over the tip to spread the pre-come up and down the thick shaft.

“God, you’re hung.” Bucky whispered.

The blonde’s blush went all the way down his body. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay. I just hope I can take whatever you give me.” He moaned as Steve leaned in to suck one of Bucky’s sensitive nipples into his mouth. He ran his tongue over the perky nub, flicking it playfully with his tongue. Bucky was doing his best to multi-task and not turn into a pile of mush.

The omega’s shorts were completely soaked through with his slick. He knew it was smearing on Steve’s lap, but the alpha seemed to be incredibly turned on by it. Steve reached around and slipped his hands underneath his shorts to grip his round ass and spread his ass cheeks. He felt the tips of Steve’s fingers teasing the hot, sensitive skin.

When Steve’s index finger breached Bucky’s slippery opening, he let his head fall forward, their foreheads together as he moaned low in his throat. It was easy for Steve’s finger to slip all the way to his knuckle. The alpha gasped as he wiggled his finger inside the tight heat, allowing the omega to adjust to the change.

“Give me two, Steve. I can take it.” Bucky encouraged.

The blonde listened and slipped in his middle finger. “Wow, you’re dripping.” The alpha groaned. He began a slow massage of his fingers inside of the omega, noting when Bucky’s muscles tightened over especially sensitive parts.

“Can I taste you?” Steve asked, looking earnest with pupils that had grown black. The omega nodded enthusiastically.

The alpha had a desperate air about him as he slipped his fingers from Bucky’s body and motioned for the omega to sit beside him on the couch. As Bucky dismounted and took off his shorts, the blonde went to his knees on the carpet between the brunette’s open legs. He ran his hands up the beautiful muscles in the omega’s legs until both hands reached underneath Bucky to grab his ass and prompt him to scoot towards the edge of the couch.

The younger man began to mouth along Bucky’s erection, taking in the alluring smell of the omega where he was most sensitive. Even if Steve had never done this before, he could’ve fooled Bucky. He sucked the head of Bucky’s cock into his mouth and massaged the underside with smooth licks of his tongue where the bundle of nerves was the most sensitive.

Bucky cursed above him, “Holy shit, Rogers. That feels amazing.”

The alpha felt a rush of satisfaction as ventured to take more of Bucky into his mouth. He bobbed his head slowly up and down, relaxing his throat as he enjoyed the feeling of one of Bucky’s hand carding through his short hair while groaning in pleasure.

The blonde didn’t stop there. He pulled off of Bucky’s dick with a wet sound and kissed the man’s inner thigh. He trailed his lips down lower, grabbing Bucky from underneath the globes of his ass and lifting him slightly as his tongue trailed from his perineum down the cleft of his ass. Steve moaned at the taste of the omega’s slick, his tongue lapping at Bucky’s clenching hole.

“Fuck, Steve! Please fuck me with your tongue.” Bucky groaned.

The alpha was already headed that direction as he began to push his tongue into the soft folds of Bucky’s opening. He met some resistance from the outside muscle, but the omega was so relaxed and aroused that his tongue slipped in just as easy as his fingers had. The taste of slick and smell of pheromones was strongest and Steve felt drunk and light-headed off of the scent.

He ate Bucky out until the omega’s legs were shaking and Bucky was an incoherent mess above him, muttering curse words and Steve’s names in a litany of desperate phrases. The alpha slipped two fingers in alongside his tongue, starting a brutal pace of fingering him that had Bucky sobbing as his orgasm crashed through him. The blonde watched Bucky carefully, memorizing the way the omega’s muscles contracted as pleasure radiated throughout his body and slick coated Steve’s hand.

When the omega’s orgasm tapered off, the alpha kissed the inside of Bucky’s thigh, his perineum, and all the way up his softening cock. He licked at the head of the omega’s dick before running his tongue up and tasted the cum pooled on his abdomen.

The older man ran a hand through his hair, eyes dazed. He pulled Steve closer up to him and kissed him fully on the mouth, tasting himself there. The alpha’s mouth and chin were all glistening wet from Bucky’s slick and cum.

“I want you in me, Stevie.” He whispered in-between kisses. “Please, I’m already getting hard just thinking of you poundin me.”

The blonde moved a hand between them and stroked Bucky’s dick in encouragement. The small man squirmed from the sensitive pleasure, gasping as his eyes closed to focus on the sensation.

“Let me grab a condom first.” Steve mussed, peppering kisses on Bucky’s slacken face.

Bucky opened his eyes and looked at him pointedly, “I’m already pregnant, Rogers. And I have a clean bill of health. You?”

The blonde smiled softly, kissing Bucky fully on the lips as he smoothed down the brunette’s wild sweaty hair. “I’m clean.”

“Then if you’re okay with it, let’s get this show on the road.” The omega wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders, pulling him close to his body as he kissed him hungrily.

“Hold on.” The alpha extricated himself from the omega with an apologetic smile. He moved up on the couch and sat beside Bucky, taking his hand and guiding him to straddle the alpha once more. Bucky smirked as he reached below and ran his hand over the impressive girth of Steve’s aching cock.

“Jesus, Stevie, you’re going to split me in two with this thing.”

The alpha looked slightly embarrassed, but grinned, “I want you to set the pace. I think this position will be easier for the both of us. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Bucky licked his lips and nodded. He was careful to position himself up on his knees, rising up as Steve’s hand helped guide his dick to run over the slick gathered in the cleft of Bucky’s ass. It was more than enough lubrication, and Bucky felt that he had never been wetter in his life. The omega had complete control of the situation and felt comfortable in the alpha’s scent. Bucky leaned down to give a few more appreciative tugs on the larger man’s dick, resulting in low moans from him. He straddled his hip, their chests touching as Steve helped him to sink down on to his large, thick alpha cock.

Bucky wanted to roll his eyes in the back of his head with how amazing Steve felt, but he kept eye contact with the younger man as he slowly sunk down inch by inch on his dick. He had to pause twice to allow his body to adjust, but he was so slippery with slick that it eased the way until he was seated fully in Steve’s lap. There was some discomfort that thrummed over the exerted muscles, though it was nothing in comparison to the feeling of having the blonde this close to him.

He felt so full of _Steve_. This was everything that Bucky had hoped his first time getting knotted by an alpha would go. He was having sex with somebody he trusted whole-heartedly and who knew him inside and out. He rocked his hips against the blonde, feeling the ebb and push of the larger man’s cock brushing against all the sweet spots inside of him.

He groaned out loud, closing his eyes from the sweat beading off his brow. As he grew accustomed to the feeling, he began to take hold of his pleasure as he grinded down dirty on to Steve’s cock. He grabbed a hold of Steve’s shoulder to ride him in earnest, encouraging Steve to grab his ass and meet his thrusts.

The smell of their mixed scents was intoxicating. Steve was all power and strength as he pushed his hips up just as Bucky grinded down to meet him. The blonde pressed his hand against Bucky’s hard dick and jacked him off in long sure strokes, causing the brunette’s knees to shake.

“Oh shit, oh shit!” Bucky sobbed, closing his eyes as orgasm washed over his body. Steve rode him through it, groaning below him at the captivating sight.

With shaky legs, Bucky slowed down to wipe the sweat from his brow, panting from exertion as Steve smiled smugly and lifted him up and over so that the brunette was on his back. The alpha pressed back inside him, setting a steady pace while his mouth found Bucky’s nipple and began to suck along the pert flesh.

The omega nearly howled, his head pushing back as Steve continued his onslaught to his nipples. He was already getting hard again, his gasps coming in uncontrolled measure when Steve began to pick up the speed of his thrusts. He felt like he was on cloud 9 as Steve mouthed up to his shoulder, rubbing against his bonding gland and scent glands before nibbling on his earlobe.

As Steve grew closer, he tried to slow down, panting as he asked, “It might be easier for me to knot you from behind.”

Bucky licked his lips and nodded in agreement. He was feeling euphoric and in a daze with the pleasure Steve’s ministrations to his body were lulling him to. The alpha guided him carefully to rest his arms over the side of the couch, his hands gripping the arm rests as Steve rested one knee on the couch and his left leg on the ground to support his weight. Bucky spread his knees wide as the alpha pushed back in, the pair of them groaning as Steve moved deeply inside the smaller man.

“You sure you want my knot?” Steve asked one more time, his lips kissing at the back of Bucky’s sweat beaded neck.

“Yes, please. Give it to me, birthday boy.”

The blonde picked up pace, one hand holding on to Bucky’s hips as he fucked harder into him. The omega pushed himself back onto the fat cock, crying out in pleased expletives as he felt the alpha’s knot begin to push past the rim of his muscles. He nearly sobbed as Steve’s knot pushed inside him, locking into place and pulling the younger man into a full body orgasm.

The omega thought Steve’s groan of pleasure was the sexiest thing he had ever heard. He glanced back through hooded eyes to see the tight knot of Steve’s brow, his mouth open in the perfect pornographic o-face.

The brunette’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as Steve helped him to stroke his cock, bringing him to another satisfying orgasm that left his muscles wobbly with overuse.

Steve wrapped an arm around Bucky’s middle to gently guide them to spoon on the couch, careful not to pull too hard to where they were attached. Bucky rested his head back against Steve’s upper arm as the alpha leaned in to kiss his lips.

“You okay?” he smoothed the sweat from Bucky’s brow, kissing his temple

Bucky did feel a little sore, but his body was so incredibly aroused and well-slicked that he had barely registered any pain. The alpha felt amazing and full inside of him.

“You feel so good inside of me.” Bucky confessed quietly, eyes meeting Steve’s. The alpha smiled and leaned in to kiss him fully on the lips.

Bucky pushed his ass back on Steve’s knot and grounding down experimentally. The alpha let in a sharp inhale, eyes rolling in the back of his head as his body immediately responded with another spurt of cum inside the omega. “Oh fuck-“ Steve groaned.

The alpha grounded Bucky with a warm hand on his lower abdomen, keeping him steadily in place as Bucky’s muscles milked Steve for all he was worth. He placed his hand over Steve’s on his lower abdomen, basking in the feel of safety and home as Steve’s knot continued to coat his inside with cum. He felt the alpha shuddering behind him.

“How long do you stay hard?” Bucky questioned quietly, twisting his head to the side to get a good view of the sweaty, relaxed blonde.

The bigger man adjusted, letting out a satisfied breath as he finished riding through another wave of his orgasm, “I have no idea. Should we set a timer?”

“Christ, Rogers. You’re going to be the death of me.” He groaned as Steve pressed his hand down to Bucky’s semi-hard, overly sensitive dick. He began to pump the engorged muscle, causing the omega to squirm in pleasure.

“Would you like to orgasm again?” Steve ran his teeth along Bucky’s bonding gland, causing the brunette to moan out loud in the small room.

“I’ll take as many orgasms as you can give me, punk.”

Steve made sure to do well on his word. Bucky had zero complaints.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I use the term ‘pup’ instead of ‘baby’ in this fic because I’ve seen/heard/read the term used in A/B/O fics and I think it fits. So after a few chapters of angst…Steve & Bucky finally did it! And thank god Sarah Rogers works night shifts. ;) I’ll hopefully have the 7th chapter posted in a few days. I’ve been taking advantage of my vacation time to write as much as I can. (hence the frequent updates)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading! Please let me know what you think. :D  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just tell me to stay. Say it, and I will. I swear to God, Buck.” Steve whispered, closing his eyes as his emotions heightened.  
> “Christ, Stevie…” Bucky gasped, “You can’t say things like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the warnings in the tags. More smut and some heartache ahead.

Bucky woke up blearily in the early hours of the morning balanced in Steve’s strong arms. The alpha was tenderly carrying him up the stairs towards his bedroom where he laid the omega down underneath the covers of his messy bed. Bucky yawned, “What’re you doin?”

“My ma will be home in a few hours. Didn’t want her to find us on the couch.” Steve smoothed the messy brunette hair from his forehead. “I’m going to clean up downstairs and then I’ll be back.”

“For another round?” Bucky waggled his eyebrows sleepily. He was exhausted, but would not decline more if the blonde was interested. He ran his eyes over the alpha, noting he was still gloriously naked.

Steve chuckled, “We’ll see.” He kissed the brunette and left the room, presumably to clean all the evidence of their hook-up from the living room. The omega drifted in-between sleep and wakefulness, listening quietly to the sound of the alpha rustling around downstairs. He heard Steve load the washing machine and smiled smugly to himself. The couch cushions were presumably being washed since they had been shown the most abuse. They had both proved to be inventive with the different leverage the couch had provided, at the expense of being conscientious to where their seed spilled.  

Steve made good on his word and returned to cuddle up next to Bucky, nosing at his scent glands as he gathered the omega to his chest. The brunette easily melted back into the familiar embrace of the alpha and fell back asleep.

*

A few hours passed when Bucky blinked awake to the feel of warm lips kissing his neck. He was already hard and feeling warm all-over; reminiscent to when he was in a heat. He was pleasantly sore all over from their explorative love-making, but his body was interested in the prospect of more. The light shining through the navy blue curtains of Steve’s room was soft and hazy; it was still early in the morning.

“G’morning, Buck.” Steve greeted as he moved his mouth up to nibble the omega’s ear.

“Mmmm, ‘mornin.” Bucky pressed his hips back and sure enough, felt the alpha’s arousal against his ass. He chuckled, “What round would this be?”

“Beats me.” The blonde trailed his hand down to stroke the omega’s cock, setting a steady relaxed rhythm for them both.

Bucky contentedly groaned low in his throat and glanced back at the messy haired alpha. He used his hand to reach back and rub at Steve’s dick, giving it a few appreciative strokes before angling it towards the cleft of his ass. The alpha’s breath hitched as the slick gathered there coated his cock, making it all the more easier for Bucky to guide it inside of the channel in his ass. There was a little soreness that stung initially, but the bliss of feeling full with the perfect alpha cock far outweighed any aching.

They fucked as noiselessly as they could in Steve’s full size creaky bed. They stayed on their sides, Bucky pushing back and rolling his hips while the alpha guided him to his pleasure. This time they made sure to keep their volume down, aware that Steve’s mom was home and sleeping in her room down the hall.

The blonde knotted him again after Bucky sighed in gratification over another well-deserved orgasm. Steve gathered him with Bucky’s back against his chest and ran his lips over the bonding gland on the omega’s neck. It was always a tempting, sensitive spot that had the omega panting with the right amount of rubbing and licking. The blonde continued to tease the brunette at his sensitive spots, pulling the omega into full body shivers of pleasure and low moans of ecstasy. Even when Bucky would bat at Steve playfully, the alpha would persist, chuckling in-between at the ease of their moods.

After Steve’s knot receded, he made his way out of bed carefully to grab a scent-diffusing candle to help air out the scent of sex that was heavy in his room. Bucky opened the window to help air out their thick combined pheromone smells.

The brunette lay sprawled on his back, feeling smug at the sensation of Steve’s cum dripping down his thighs. He didn’t hide his nakedness from Steve, who was staring openly at the omega with interest. “I’d be surprised if your mom didn’t already figure it out the moment she walked through the door.”

The alpha flushed, “I tried to clean everything."

“We stink, Steve. The whole neighborhood could smell us.” Bucky snorted.

“They wouldn’t expect it from the good ‘ol Rogers and Barnes boys.” The blonde stated playfully. Steve jokingly batted his eyes, giving his best ‘aww shucks’ impression. Bucky threw a pillow at him.

“No more innocent act from you, Rogers. I now know what kind of sex fiend you are.” Bucky stretched like a cat that got the cream, all languid and loose from being properly fucked. “Unless that’s just my influence over you.” He winked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m a good Catholic boy.”

Steve licked his lips and showed Bucky just how innocent he was when he pulled the man by his legs down to the edge of the bed. He set to work on eating Bucky out into orgasm.

By the time Bucky regained his energy, they were both filthy with bodily fluids and scents, so they meandered noiselessly (except for the slap on the alpha’s ass because _‘My god, Rogers, that ass!’)_ into the bathroom. Steve was thankful for the loud sounding fan as he set to work on preparing a hot shower. It was difficult when he still had a boner from being turned on by the omega’s sounds as he had panted and gripped his hair tightly while Steve pushed his tongue and fingers in the other’s ass. Bucky’s slick was still on his chin and the smell had his heart beating fast.

They went in together, where Bucky (who had absolutely no reservations) knelt down and set to work on returning the favor. He did his best to swallow Steve down, but the alpha’s dick was too big to deep throat. He would have to work on his gag reflex. Instead, he settled for using his mouth and hands to bring out the low moans from the bigger man.

The blonde paused the omega mid-way through the pleasurable blow job, holding Bucky’s chin carefully to angle his head to look up.. His eyes were hooded, cheeks bright red from interest and the steam in the shower stall.

“Could you…could you finger me?” Steve asked. “I’ve done it to myself before, but I would like to feel you.”

Bucky smiled wickedly, giving Steve’s dick a kiss at the tip as he motioned for the taller man to turn around. “Could I eat your ass out too, Stevie?”

The blonde nodded encouragingly, chuckling a little at Bucky’s eagerness. He turned to face the shower wall and spread his legs, allowing the omega to move in from behind him and grope at his ass. The brunette was already groaning as he leaned in and ran his tongue from Steve’s perineum to his tailbone.  

 “Shit- Buck, I-I think I want you in me.” The blonde panted. He had his hands splayed on the tile, legs spread where Bucky was kneeling behind him, giving exploratory licks over his cleaned perineum.

“You want me to fuck you, Stevie?” Bucky’s smile was bright and predatory.

The blonde nodded desperately.

Bucky used his own slick over his index and middle fingers to enter Steve, who he applauded was much more relaxed and eager to take the digits than Bucky was his first time. It made it fun, easy, to be able to bite at the roundness of Steve’s ass while he fingered him with his own slick and felt the blonde squirm and gasp in pleasure.

The omega was getting a rush from being able to do this for Steve. He was a quick learner to figure out which spots had the blonde’s knees shaking, and which ones made the man push back down encouragingly on his fingers. When the brunette began to play with his prostate, it became another issue to also remind Steve to be quiet (though he _loved_ the sounds the man was making).

After adjusting to the third finger, the blonde was begging for the omega’s cock.

“You sure you want this?” Bucky ventured.

“Yes! Fuck me, please Buck.” Steve gasped as a fingers pushed against his prostate. “I’ve always wanted this.”

The omega stood up, pulling the blonde into a fierce kiss. When he pulled away, his eyes were dark and excited, “Keep your legs spread.”

Bucky wasn’t as well-endowed at Steve, but he still prided himself for having an average length cock with a generous thickness to it. He smoothed a hand down Steve’s back to steady him as he planted his feet firmly on the tile for balance. The omega was already very turned on, so the situation of running out of slick was not in the equation. He made sure his dick was good and slick before he pushed carefully into the alpha.

The blonde didn’t even try to suppress the moan that echoed throughout the tiled bathroom. The omega would’ve berated him, but it sounded like the singing of angels to his ears. He allowed the blonde to adjust to the newness of the feeling, reading the other’s body cues before he started to push in and out, picking up steady thrusts inside when the blonde encouraged him.

It was long before Steve began to push his hips down to take the omega’s length. He was beautiful like this; submissive and enraptured in the feel of Bucky.

It was perfect.

The omega eventually came inside him, biting Steve’s shoulder (far from the bonding gland) to muffle the sounds as he wrapped one arm around Steve’s waist and the other helped Steve to stroke his length in a fast, sure rhythm. The brunette eventually slipped his cock from the man and replaced his dick with three sure fingers that honed in on Steve’s prostate and began to finger him with purpose.

The blonde cried out, pushing his head back against Bucky as his cum splattered against the shower’s tile. His legs shook from the force of his orgasm, leaving him gasping for breath in the hot steamy room as Bucky assisted him in lowering him to kneel on the ground.

Bucky was smiling widely as he sat beside him and kissed his exhausted face.

“That was- _Wow_.” Steve whispered as he rested his head against the brunette. Bucky hummed his agreement as he stroked through the alpha’s wet hair.

“We’re definitely doing more of that.” Steve added in awe.

Bucky couldn’t stop his laughter until the alpha kissed him to shut up. Steve was positive that at this point, his mother knew exactly what they were up to in the shower. Not even the shower water and fa could drown out their sounds. 

******

After washing off and getting dressed, the pair of them went downstairs where Steve switched the laundry to the dryer. The brunette was pulling out the eggs, bacon, and some pancake mix, determined to make a gourmet meal after all of the calories they had burned. His stomach was growling incessantly so he put Steve to work on the pancakes while he coked the eggs and bacon.

Sarah Rogers came down 20 minutes later, surprised to find the pair working in sync as they set the table for their meal. She knew they were trying to be discreet with their scents, but she had worked in a hospital for long enough to know when to recognize the different scents people gave off. She wasn’t surprised to see that it was Bucky who had been occupying Steve’s bed, but she was slightly taken aback by the omega’s pregnant scent. She had already been told by Winifred that Bucky was pregnant, but she was surprised to find Steve’s scent wrapped all around the omega’s. It didn’t smell like a bond scent, but it was as close to the real thing as one could get.

“I was wondering when you two would be up.” She said.

The boys nearly jumped out of their skin. Bucky turned quickly with a bashful smile, but Steve had turned into a tomato with fierce embarrassment.

Sarah held her hand up, “It’s okay. It’s perfectly natural for people to have sex. All I ask is that you keep it to your bedroom.”

“Ma!” Steve whined.

Sarah was much like Winifred in that she wasn’t one to play dumb when it came to her teenage (now _adult_ \- good lord) son. She had always had a feeling that since Bucky had presented as an omega and Steve an alpha, the two of them would eventually fall into this stage of their relationship. She was happy for them both, preferring that if her son was to have sex with anyone, it would be with someone she knew who would care for him.

Sarah walked over to her Keurig and began to make a cup of coffee. Bucky gave Steve a shit-eating grin as he shrugged and went back to putting bacon on the plate.

With coffee in hand, Mrs. Rogers walked over to the tall brunette.

“Can I take your temperature, James? I have a suspicion.” She questioned.

Bucky nodded as he finished plating the eggs and turned off the stove. Steve watched as they both moved to the kitchen table, Bucky taking a seat while Sarah grabbed an oral thermometer from her medical kit.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

“Hmmm.” Sarah took Bucky’s arm and gently scented his wrist. “I think you’re going through a slight pregnancy heat, James.”

“Pregnancy heat?”

Sarah took the thermometer and smoothed back Bucky’s damp hair. “It’s perfectly natural.” She reassured, “Your mother already told me about your situation so it makes sense that you’d be going through this. A pregnancy heat is similar to your regular heats, but it’s not as powerful. It’s basically your body’s way of trying to secure a mate before the baby is born. I’m assuming you’ve both been spending a lot of time together, so it only makes sense that your body is trying to-“ she glanced to her son, who looked mortified. She chuckled, “-it’s trying to entice Steve into bonding with you. Our bodies are very smart, you see.”

Bucky couldn’t help but to laugh at the idea that his body was trying to seduce Steve. It had definitely worked, though they had no plans in bonding.

“I would recommend that you two not bond at this time, though. It would be dangerous for your health and the health of the pup if you bond with Steve before he leaves.” She patted his knee.

”We seriously weren’t planning on it, Mrs. Rogers.” Bucky confessed.

Sarah walked over to the sink and cleaned off the thermometer to store it away. “I know. I trust you boys, but I just need to say it for peace of mind.”

Steve was resolutely trying to stack the pancakes neatly on the serving plate. He knew his mother wasn’t upset with them, but it didn’t make it any less embarrassing that his mother knew they were having sex. He liked to keep things as private and discreet as possible, but his mother had always been able to read him like an open book.

“So how long does a pregnancy heat last for?” Bucky asked.

“Typically as long as your regular heats, unless you’ve secured a mate.” She looked pointedly to her son. “Just be sure you stay hydrated and eat. And Steve, be sure that he’s not overworked. Chafing can really be painful.”

“Okay! Thanks, ma! That’s enough!” the blonde set down the plates of food at the kitchen table. He awkwardly took a seat besides Bucky and began to put food on his plate. The omega and the beta began to do the same.

“Mrs. Rogers, is it okay if I crash here with Steve until this heat thing goes away? I don’t think I could live with myself if my sisters heard us.” Bucky asked tentatively, only feeling a slight bit of shame.

Sarah laughed and patted the omega on the shoulder, “It’s fine. You two really don’t need to be so embarrassed. I’ve seen everything, you know. Of course you can spend it here, though you’ll abide by my rules and keep it strictly to the bedroom. I can bring back some more scent-diffusing candles when I get home from my next shift. Just be safe and keep your heads as clear as you can.”

The brunette beamed as he looked at Steve.

Steve felt like he wanted to crawl in a hole.

After that, the conversation veered naturally to college and ‘future goals’ talk. Sarah was very excited for the both of them and had firmly told Bucky that if he needed anything at all, to call her. Even though she worked as an ER nurse, she had quite a bit of experience working with pregnant persons who needed medical attention.

The brunette felt at home as he and Steve finished off most of the food and cleaned up the kitchen for Sarah. Steve disappeared to set the couch covers back on the cushions.

Sarah waited until he left the room to turn to Bucky, “I know you’re going through a lot right now, but be careful. He leaves in a few days and I don’t want it to be harder on you, especially in your state.”

The brunette smiled sadly, “I understand. I think we both deserve this right now, though. I feel more like myself again.”

The older woman pulled the omega in for a hug. She was much smaller than Bucky, standing in at only 5’4, but she had a lot of power and might packed into her fit frame. Winifred and Sarah had been close friends ever since their boys were little. She viewed Bucky as family and wanted only the best for him, too.

“I know this is far off, but I know a couple of wonderful social workers who work for some of the best adoption agencies in New York. When you feel that you’re ready, let me know and I will be happy to give them your number. As you set up your plans for delivery, I would like to be there, if you’ll allow me.” She stated.

“Mrs. Rogers, you’re going to _need_ to be there to calm down my ma. She won’t know what to do with herself.” He agreed.

Sarah smiled back and moved away as the alpha re-entered the room to the smell of home and family.

******

They spent the remaining two days of Steve’s stay in the U.S. wrapped around one another. Bucky’s pregnancy heat solidified the fact that their bodies were very, very compatible when it came to pleasuring one another. They both avoided the temptations of bonding with one another, but they did fully bask in the opportunity to have marathon sex. Bucky often groaned that they should’ve been doing this for this whole high school career.

In-between the touching and the sex, they watched movies, finished the rest of Steve’s packing, and even got out of the house once to visit Coney Island. It was a refreshing experience to be able to hold Steve’s hand in public and truly feel like they were boyfriends. They weren’t in a relationship, but the omega wasn’t going to deny himself the happy fantasy as Steve kissed him on the Ferris wheel.

On the day before Steve’s flight the pair had to get showered and properly dressed to have a farewell luncheon with Steve’s family. Bucky was sure to put back on the scent suppressors, even with Steve complaining in the background. Steve’s mom, her boyfriend, and the whole Barnes family went out to eat and celebrate the next chapter of the alpha’s journey. The whole time the group didn’t mention the obvious fact that Steve and Bucky had been sharing a heat together, but Winifred smiled and winked at her son enough for Bucky to know that she knew. It was only slightly embarrassing for him.

George Barnes, however, did pull Steve aside at the end of the luncheon to talk to him. The omega watched from a distance as they chatted for a while until George pulled the alpha into a familial hug. The blonde caught back up to Bucky later on, smiling, but didn’t say what about.

In the evening, the alpha invited over a few of their close friends to kick back and relax at his house. Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Tony, Thor, Pepper, and Rhodey all came over to celebrate with a BBQ, a marathon of their favorite movies, and some board games. It was a relaxed evening of fun as they also reminisced on their years together and shared stories.

Bucky was finishing up frosting some cupcakes he had baked with Pepper and Thor when Natasha came in to stand beside him. They were the only ones in the kitchen, so she grabbed a cupcake and began to help him frost the delicious treats.

“So…how is it?” Natasha asked, though it was obvious from the smug smirk on her face that she already knew the answer. Bucky had texted her the day before to tell her that he was hooking up with Steve. His text was accompanied by an eggplant and wink face emoji. Natasha had sent him back a simple ‘FINALLY’ and then a ‘dumbasses’.

Bucky shrugged with a slight tint of pink on his cheeks, “The best I’ve ever had, Nat. I wish we’d been doing this for longer.”

She leveled him a look and ventured, more quietly, “Are you guys in a relationship now?”

“No. We’re nothing official. We’re just…it just feels right, Nat. So, we’re going with the motions.” Bucky shrugged, “It wouldn’t make sense to be in a relationship when he’s going to another continent.”

“And Steve is okay with this?”

“I think so.”

Nat looked at him contemplatively, reading for any other physical signs. She sighed, “Tread carefully, Barnes.”

“I know, Nat. I know.”

“Either way, I’m glad you guys have this time together. It’s about time you got properly laid. And it was about time for Steve to realize you’re in love with him.”

Bucky set down the cupcake and sighed. “It’s not like that. I’m not-”

Natasha turned her body toward the omega and pointed the frosting knife at him. She interrupted, “May I remind you that if you get your heart broken, you are 100% your own fault. You can deny your feelings, but we both know better than that.”

The omega had been stubborn about his love for Steve. He would deny it when it suited him, making it easier for him to try to write off their tryst as a fun and friendly hook-up. Natasha could see right through him and knew better. Even Bucky knew better. He knew he was in love with his best friend, but all of the timing was horrendous. He reserved himself into thinking that he would give as much as he could, while taking whatever Steve gave him.

They both finished frosting the cupcakes and set them on a tray for the group to enjoy. Steve’s smile brightened when he eyed the apple spice cupcakes and thanked them. Bucky’s heart swelled as the blonde pulled him down to sit beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as they both ate their desserts.

After they cleaned up and everyone left in the late hours of the night, Bucky took Steve’s hand and pulled him up the stairs to the alpha’s bedroom. He kissed him slow and languid, determined to put the emotions he felt for Steve in physical touches. The brunette had never ‘made love’ with someone like this before, but as the blonde pushed into him and Bucky wrapped his legs around his hips to encourage his smooth and steady thrusts, he felt overwhelmed with the feeling that ‘this is it’. That Steve was _it_ for him.

Bucky was embarrassed that as their emotions ran high in their love making, tears began to cloud his vision and fall down his cheeks. He gasped with the pleasure and intensity of what he was feeling, and Steve was there to catch him. The alpha kissed his face and held him through his shattering orgasm until he knotted him. As they lay facing one another, tied together, Steve smoothed Bucky’s hair and kissed him through the emotions.

If Bucky could ever have anything in the world, all he wanted was this. He was selfish, but he didn’t care. Tonight Steve was all _his_. Just as Bucky was all _Steve’s_.

******

It was Bucky who drove the Volkswagen with Steve to the airport the next morning. The omega accompanied the alpha as he checked in the two large suitcases containing all the possessions the blonde would need to start his new life in the UK. Bucky had been nervous all morning after he had awoken and promptly thrown up in the toilet with coiled nerves.

Steve was leading them over to the security point, his hand holding Bucky’s as they made their way to the checkpoint. Bucky knew that once the alpha crossed that threshold, they wouldn’t see each other for months. They had never been apart from one another for longer than a few weeks. The reality of the situation was frightening for the omega.

“Well, this is it.” Steve stopped in front of the checkpoint. He turned and faced Bucky while he set his backpack to the ground.

“Don’t get sentimental on me, Rogers.” The omega joked as he punched lightly at Steve’s arm.

The corner of Steve’s eyes crinkled from his smile “I had a speech planned, but that’s gone out the window.”

The two of them reached for each other, holding one another in a close embrace. Bucky inhaled the alpha’s scent and closed his eyes, wishing for time to stop so that he could forever be in this exact spot.

“You’ll be home for Christmas, right?” Bucky murmured.

Steve nodded and kissed the top of Bucky’s head, “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

The omega felt his emotions welling up, “You take all the stupid with you, jerk.”

Bucky lifted his chin so that he could kiss Steve properly on the lips. The two held on to one another, allowing their emotions to swirl together. They kissed for as long as they could, but Steve’s flight would be leaving in 40 minutes and he needed to get through the gate. Nonetheless, his hands gripped Bucky’s waist, pulling him close. He rested their foreheads together as he tried to catch his breath.

“Just tell me to stay. Say it, and I will. I swear to God, Buck.” Steve whispered, closing his eyes as his emotions heightened.

“Christ, Stevie…” Bucky gasped, “You can’t say things like that.”

The blonde kissed him again desperately on the lips. “Just say the word.”

Bucky wanted to. Everything in him wanted to… But he didn’t. He couldn’t be the one responsible for holding back Steve from his promising future halfway across the world.

“Don’t be stupid. You need to go. Great things are waiting for you in London.” He pressed their foreheads together, voice wavering. “You have to go, Steve.”

The alpha swallowed thickly and nodded in defeat. Even though they wanted to stay with one another, there were other things already planned out for them ahead.

They separated after one last final hug. Steve looked to him sadly as he walked towards the security gate to check in for his flight. Bucky watched him go until he disappeared from the top of the escalator, wearing the Adidas he had puked on months ago.

When Bucky would look back on this moment years later, he would realize that this was their missed chance.

*

The omega drove home in the Volkswagen with the sounds of Bright Eyes crooning from the newly installed stereo system. He felt that a piece of him had been torn off and scattered to the wind. Feeling overwhelmed, he pulled off of the road and parked. The brunette leaned against the steering wheel and buried his face into his arms, allowing his emotions to overcome him.

He cursed the universe for not being so forgiving.

He cursed himself for letting Steve go.

Love was a terrible, terrible thing.

Natasha tapped on his window an hour later, staring at him through the glass with an expectant face. Bucky rolled the window down the rest of the way, looking tired and withdrawn.

“I think you need some fresh air.” Nat stated.

“I need bourbon…How’d you find me?”

“I have a tracker on your phone. You were supposed to call me an hour ago. C’mon James, let’s take a walk.” Natasha stepped away from the car.

Bucky reluctantly got out of the car and followed Natasha into the park. The two walked around quietly. He knew he looked a hot mess, but she made no comment. Bucky’s only real saving grace was the fact that he had put on scent blocking deodorant in anticipation that his pregnancy hormones would go haywire and put him into an emotional wreck. He had planned correctly.

Natasha was the perfect person for this as they made their way to a wooden park bench and sat down heavily. There was a companionable silence for a long time as the omega took in her calm state. She kept her eyes resolutely on the pond in front of them where ducks and swans were lazily swimming about towards kids who had feed along the edges.

“Did I make a mistake?” Bucky questioned in a low voice.

Natasha let out a deep exhale. “I can’t answer that, James.”

The omega ran his hand through his thick hair and sat back on the bench. Natasha pressed her hand against his.

“Time will tell, James. You need to focus on you, now.”

The alpha sat with him for the next hour to contemplate life and their places in the world. After the park, Natasha drove with Bucky over to Clint’s where the omega spent the rest of the day immersed with his friends on a couch watching ghost films and eating Chinese take-out. It was just what he needed to get his mind numb and off of the alpha who was on a plane to another city far away from Bucky.

It was at night, when he was laying in his bed that he looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his celling and was overwhelmed with emotion. In the middle of the night, he got up and grabbed his chair to take down each and every star to throw in the trash.

There were tears stinging his eyes when he lay down again and saw only the darkness of night and the dim glow of the city lights.

* * *

 

_Mid-August, 17 weeks pregnant_

Bucky stared at himself in the mirror with distasteful intrigue as he ran his hand over his abdomen where there was a very visible swell. Within the last month his body had decided to begin stretching to accommodate the new life growing inside of him. He turned his body to the side and glared at the protrusion of skin in the mirror.

“I swear to god, if you make my belly button pop out, I will never forgive you.” He growled. He held up his phone and snapped a picture for Steve, sending it off with a grumble.

With his mission accomplished, he slipped back on a loose band T-shirt and a plaid shirt over it. He inspected himself in the mirror and was satisfied that he looked completely normal. His roomier jeans still fit comfortably, but all of his favorite tighter fit straight-leg pants were now packed away in his family’s home in Brooklyn, awaiting the day that Bucky would be able to close the top button again.

Before he had left Brooklyn, Winifred had taken her son and Becca to a maternity store where the two women set about picking out new clothing for Bucky to wear to help him conceal his baby bump. He wasn’t showing a great deal now, but he wanted to be prepared because there was no telling how fast his body was going to decide to grow. It had been humiliating to try on the jeans with the stretchy elastic panels built in, but he stayed committed and brought all the maternity wear down to his new room where it was now stored in his closet.

Bucky’s phone buzzed.

 **Stevie** : Lookin good! Looks more like a proper Thanksgiving food baby now.

 **BuckyB** : Gobble gobble, jerk.

 **Stevie:** ;p

The brunette looked around his new room and sighed. It was bigger than his room in Brooklyn with a built in bookcase against one of the walls. He loved his oasis of space. His window faced a nondescript side-street that kept out a lot of the traffic noise. There were beautiful trees lining the street outside, which was a plus to listen to leaves rustling versus angry drivers yelling profanities. He stretched as he looked around at the plethora of boxes he still needed to unpack.

He had moved to Massachusetts only two days before. His whole family rented a small U-haul and drove him down the hour and a half drive to the apartment he would be sharing with Rhodey and Tony. Winifred had been emotional all day while his second sister, Anna, was overjoyed that she would be taking over Bucky’s room (where she wouldn’t have to share a bunk bed with Joy). It was a bittersweet goodbye when his family left, but the brunette was ready to get on with college.

Most of the living room was already set up with furniture and electronics that Tony’s parents had provided. It was no secret that Tony was well-off, but the fellow omega just shrugged it off and kept his light-speed mind focused on building and creating. Their apartment was a lot nicer than anything Bucky could’ve afforded on his own, but it was comfortable and well-equipped for all of their needs.

Bucky got along very well with Rhodey and the two were secretly thankful that they could find sanity in one another when they were faced with some of Tony’s eccentricities. Tony could be odd at times, but that was primarily due to how his mind worked and his lack of a decent sleeping schedule. Despite their differences, they all got along extremely well. It made the first few nights in Cambridge bearable.

Rhodey and Tony both knew about Bucky’s pregnancy, but were good on their word to keep it a secret. It didn’t stop them from teasing Bucky from time to time though, keeping a light hearted attitude when they would rub his belly for ‘good luck’ or swear they were eating ice cream with Bucky for ‘solidarity’ reasons. The pregnant omega would smile at the antics and appreciated that even through a tough situation, he could find laughter.

******

For Steve, life in London had been a whirlwind of excitement. From the minute he was off the plane, he was absorbed in preparing his dorm room, attending his art critique class, and settling into an all new routine. He and Sam shared a decently sized dorm room together, but their showers and bathrooms were all communal in the building. Even though it was a new experience to be living in close space with another person, Steve found out quickly that Sam and he got along extremely well.

The beta was patient, humorous, and incredibly fun to be around. Sam had a way of keeping positive that kept the pain of leaving Brooklyn in the far back of the blonde’s mind. He missed his family, he missed his friends, and he missed Bucky. However, he was quickly making new friends and connections in his art course and with their fellow neighbors in the dorm’s hall. 

Sam and the alpha were also both enjoying the freedom to drink legally in the country. It was a rush of thrills to purchase his first six-pack of beer and send a picture to Bucky via Snapchat. The omega had replied with a picture of his face faking tears of sadness, which was then followed by a picture of their fridge which was already well stocked with liquor via Tony’s connections.

The roommates had scoped out most of the busy city within their first week of living there. Walking distance from their dorm, they found a pub that was to both of their liking. As they drank their pints, they connected on their love for this home state of New York and their shared life experiences. They also disagreed about their favorite sport’s teams, but then again, no one was perfect.

Steve felt at ease with where his life was going. He was enjoying his summer course, loving the city, and looked forward to the daily communication he had with his friends in the states. At times it made him sad that they were a whole ocean away, but Sam was in the same situation with a family and siblings waiting for him in Harlem.

The door to the pub opened, ringing the bell and causing Sam to turn his head. He smiled brightly, “Oh hey, she’s in the film club with me.” He waved his hand in the air.

Steve hummed, picking up his mug to take a deep savory swallow.

“She’s pretty cool, Steve. Very smart, very witty, and _very_ British.” He winked.

“Is she going to be putting us New Yorkers in our place here?” the blonde snorted. He turned from his chair to get a look at Sam’s acquaintance.  

Peggy Carter walked over with a confident smile and stopped to stand before the two men. She was all curves and sharp charisma that pierced straight to Steve’s heart and left the rest of the world in static. She smiled in greeting, her red lips the perfect form that Steve was itching to paint.

He was well and truly _screwed_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Growing up ain’t easy. :/  
> I’m going to be doing some fast-forwarding at some points for the sake of story progression and plot. I apologize if some things speed up, but I have a plan for where I want the characters to go. If you’ve seen _Love, Rosie_ , you'll know why. :)  
> I’m back to work on Monday, but I still plan to update once or twice a week. (Depending on my workload. I still definitely plan on updating at LEAST once a week.)  
> Oh, and in this story Peggy and Sharon are not related because that’s weird, Steve. C’mon!  
> Your comments and kudos gave me life!!! Thank you for all of the feedback. <3 I'm truly blown away.  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I suggest you get yourself comfortable.” Steve nearly purred, “I’ve been missing you and thinking about our time back in July.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Please be sure to read the tags for warnings. As previously stated, there are some time jumps for the sake of story progression. Not beta'ed, so any mistakes are my own!

_September, 20 weeks pregnant_

“I think I fucked up.” Bucky was in a near panic on his cell phone as he tried not to run over an old lady, stepped into the supermarket bathroom, and locked the door. “Shit, hold on.”

He shoved his phone in his hoodie as his stomach convulsed and he vomited the contents of his stomach (which were mostly sour gummi worms and toast). He spit in the toilet one last time before flushing the toilet and rushing over to the sink to rinse his mouth from the acrid taste.

“ _Bucky_?”

The omega grabbed his cell phone back from his pocket and groaned, “Fuck, Steve, I freaked out at my doctor’s appointment.”

Bucky could hear the sound of art supplies rattling as Steve cleaned his oily brushes and set them to the side. The brunet could almost smell the turpentine that sometimes stained the alpha’s clothing when he had been working on a piece for long hours.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Steve questioned. “Are you havin twins or something?”

“Don’t make me vomit again.”

There was some light chuckling on the other side, but as it died down, Steve noted that the omega was still quiet and breathing heavy. The alpha shifted on his art stool and looked around the studio where two of his classmates were working avidly with their headphones on.

“Buck, you’re worrying me here.”

“It’s a girl.”

Steve couldn’t help the shock that came to his face. “Really? You just found out?”

“Yeah.” Bucky affirmed nervously as he paced the small tiled bathroom.

“And is this a bad thing…?” Steve asked, feeling unsure of where this was going.

Bucky ran his hand through his hair in nervous ticks, “I didn’t want to know, but it slipped, Steve. The nurse asked me if I wanted to know and I said ‘sure’ and then bam. There’s a girl inside me.”

“A girl inside you, Buck?” Steve couldn’t help the wide smile that came across his face. His mind wandered and pulled memories of all the Barnes girls when they were little. He tried to imagine that this pup would be a lot like Bucky’s sisters. He smiled to think of Bucky in pigtails.

“Look, it just- It makes it feel more real, okay? There is a human girl growing inside of me and one day she’s going to have fucking braids and ponytails and boss everyone around like Becs or my ma…” Bucky was crying now as his voice cracked, “This is scary, Steve. I literally have a human hanging out inside of me and one day she’s going to crawl out of me and grow into an adult. What if she wants to meet me one day?”

Steve’s smile slowly faded as he recognized the omega’s labored breathing as a panic attack. “Bucky, hold on, take deep breaths with me for a minute.”

The omega’s breath shook over the phone line as Steve tried to take in deep breaths, counting the seconds of inhale and exhale. It had been a while since Bucky had gone through such a severe panic attack, but the motions of breathing together reminded the blonde of the times the omega did the same with him when he had childhood asthma. It was easy and familiar to close his eyes and listen to the sounds of Bucky’s breaths.

Bucky’s voice began to level after a minute and a half. His voice still wavered as he spoke, “What if she hates me for giving her up for adoption? What if her family is crazier than mine?”

Steve ran his hand down his face as he considered Bucky’s challenging situation. “You can’t dwell on those things or else they’re going to drive you into constant worry. Remember, you’re still young and you’re doing the best you can for her. You are going to make the right decision for her no matter what.”

“Yeah...you’re right. I just worry that one day she’s gonna show up on my doorstep ask me who her dad is. I can’t tell some kid that they were the product of-“ Bucky cut off his sentence with a sigh, but Steve knew how it was going to end.

Steve stared at the painting in progress before him. He ran his hand down his face as memories flashed back to him of the terrible night visit to the hospital with Bucky, the night he slept tossing and turning on the Barnes’s couch while Bucky slept upstairs, and the night Bucky crawled into his lap and turned his world on its side. He closed his eyes and remembered the way their bodies moved and molded together in bliss and desire; as if their bodies had always been designed for one another and knew. “-Look, if years down the line she finds you and asks about it, you can tell her I’m her dad.” He knew his statement wasn’t one to take lightly, but what they had back in July still weighed heavily on the alpha’s mind and heart.

“Steve-I-“ Bucky leaned back against the bathroom wall, “I don’t know what to say. Why would you offer that?”

“If it gives you peace of mind, you can tell her that we were too young to raise a kid so you decided to give her a better chance at life. We shared your pregnancy heat together and if you don’t want her to know the circumstances of her conception, you could tell her we shared your heat instead.” Steve explained. He was thankful that his classmates were not paying attention to the very private conversation he was having in the corner of the studio.

Bucky had his hand over his mouth as he hiccupped a sob. His emotions had been haywire for the past few weeks and now Steve’s offer had his heart swelling with love and yearning for him. “Fuck, I wish I could see you right now.”

“I know…three more months. But I am serious, Bucky. I would be happy to say I’m her father.”

Bucky wiped the snot from his nose with a piece of toilet paper. He fumbled and shook, but tried to lighten the mood, “So you’ll be my baby daddy?”

“I’ll be your baby daddy, Buck.” Steve agreed.

“But what if other people figure out I’m knocked up and start asking questions?”

“You don’t have to answer everyone’s questions. Just tell them whatever you’re comfortable with telling them. Are you doin okay now?”

The brunette let out a deep breath, “I’m still pretty pissed at myself for impulsively finding out, but this is all getting real. Did you know that she’s the size of a banana? A fucking banana, Steve.”

The blonde snorted. “Send me a pic when you get home, baby mama.”

The brunette laughed aloud, even though his face was still red from crying. He tried to straighten himself out so he didn’t look like such a hot mess with his snotty nose and bloodshot eyes.

“Thanks, Stevie. I’ll text you later.” Bucky nodded.

“Talk to you later, jerk.”

“Punk.”

*

Sam’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head while Steve nervously took a long drink from his pint.

“You did _what_?!” the beta squawked in disbelief.

Steve swallowed slowly. “I told Bucky to put me down as the father.”

The beta shook his head, groaning “You’re seriously going to be a _baby daddy_?”

The blonde turned a lovely shade of pink as he smacked the back of Sam’s head lightly, “Hey! It’s not that crazy. Bucky and I are close and I would do anything for him.”

“Man, there are a whole lot of issues I could list on how this could go bad, but I already know you’re going to ignore me.”

Steve winked at him and took another swig of his pint. His mind had been made up and he was honest in his offer to Bucky. They had shared everything else together, so the prospect of serving as the father to Bucky’s pup wasn’t anything out of the ordinary to the alpha.

Peggy rejoined the two as she sat beside Steve and looked to him closely. “Either Steve is already drunk or you’ve embarrassed him over something, Sam. What did I miss?”

 Sam shook his head and muttered, “I am not roping you into this.”

The blonde alpha interjected “Uh, just my best friend is pregnant and I’m helping him with some stuff. You remember Bucky?”

Peggy nodded in amusement, “Your other half? Of course I do. How is he doing with his whole pregnancy ordeal?”

“He’s ok. He accidentally found out that he’s having a girl.”

The brown haired beta felt her eyebrows raise, “Isn’t he going through with adoption?”

“He is. I think he just got freaked out realizing there’s a baby girl growing inside him.” Steve scratched the back of his neck.

Sam was now staring expectantly at Steve, waiting for the blonde to further explain the conversation. When the blonde didn’t, he sighed in disappointment and continued back to his pint.

“It must be hard to be here when he‘s in such a way. You two grew up together, correct?”

Steve nodded, “Yeah, but we both have university and careers we want to get to, though. It was hard to leave the states, but I still think this was the right decision.”

The alpha would be lying if he said he didn’t find himself attracted to Peggy. In the past month and a half, they had become fast friends. She was brilliant and easy to be around and the two often found themselves visiting the local museums and art galleries together. It was strictly platonic, but Steve sometimes found himself staring a bit too long at the beta when she didn’t notice. She looked at Steve in a way that no other woman ever had. They were both artists and although Peggy’s particular path was with art history, they complimented one another.

Steve still had feelings towards Bucky and there was never a day that he wasn’t wondering how the omega was doing, but the fast paced life of school was taking up more and more of his time. He knew that he and Bucky were not in a romantic relationship, but he still felt guilty whenever he found himself ogling at Peggy or other people he found himself attracted to. He knew that a part of it must be his raging alpha hormones, but it was growing difficult to look at others he found attracted and not show interest. With Sam’s encouragement, he had come more out of his shell. It was a good thing overall to be more social, but it also came with the feeling that he had left something (someone) behind.

Guilt still gnawed at his chest and Steve was left even more confused as he dwelled upon it. It was easier to try and keep his mind far away.

******

_End of September, 23 weeks pregnant_

It had gotten to the point where Bucky’s mom had mailed him a ‘[pregnancy pillow](http://www.toysrus.com/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-4999356enh-z6.jpg)’. Tony watched as the expecting omega unpacked the giant box, cracking up when Bucky was nearly hit in the face from the large piece of unfurling foam. Bucky grumbled and threw it to the side to inspect the rest of the care package from home. He pulled out a plethora of things; one of them being an instructional booklet for the giant foam pillow that was ‘ergonomic’ and ‘ideal for all pregnant designations!’. There were also new slippers, dried fruits, red licorice, antacids, ginger candies, a jar of homemade strawberry jam, beef jerky, and some stretchmark lotion for his stomach.

“This is amazing.” Tony laughed as he picked up the large piece of foam and fit the pillow to his body. He cackled all the way to the couch with it. “Too bad you couldn’t get Steve’s scent all over it!”

“It’s embarrassing is what it is.” Bucky bemoaned. He ran his hand down his front to his pronounced rounded abdomen. Over the last six weeks his stomach had nearly doubled in size with the amount the pup was growing. The omega remembered staring in fascination as he saw the alien-like form of the pup twitching and moving its hands during the ultrasound. He could’ve sworn it was flipping him off before they told him the sex of the pup.

Two weeks ago when Bucky was in class, he hadn’t realized that the tingling jumping that was making his bladder ache to pee wasn’t gas, but was actually the pup moving around inside him. It had freaked him out to feel the evidence of life thriving inside him at first, but after a while he had gotten used to it. At this point, it just annoyed him whenever he was trying to rest or relax when suddenly a prominent ‘bounce’ sensation knocked him from his groove. He sometimes talked to the thing, berating the pup to stop or cool off so he could get on with his daily tasks and not get distracted with wondering what she was doing in there.

“This thing is great for the couch, by the way.” Tony sighed in contentment as he stretched, wrapped around Bucky’s pregnancy pillow.

“I’ll let you borrow it when you get knocked up.”

Tony started laughing out loud, pulling himself up and leaving the oversized pillow on the couch. He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer, opening it and tempting Bucky with the smell of delicious pale ale.

“My reproductive parts are closed for business; indefinitely.” He took a swig of his beer and inspected the other contents of Bucky’s care package, “So did you find out what the kid is going to be?”

The other omega hummed in agreeance. “The doctor is positive that it’s a girl. It’s strange, but I kind of had a feeling deep down that was the case. I didn’t want to know, but I sort’ve froze and the nurse told me.” Bucky held up his shirt to inspect his stomach. He took some of the stretchmark lotion and began to rub it on to where his stretched skin was seeing the most abuse. The omega was still mostly fit, having not given up on his morning runs or visits to the gym to weightlift (with his doctor’s clearance), but the growth of the baby couldn’t be hidden under his muscles. Tony watched him with horrid fascination. 

While he was putting on the lotion, he felt the familiar jump of the pup inside him. She would get into bouts of moving inside him every few seconds just to irritate Bucky’s insides. He groaned. “Fuck, you should feel this. This will convince you to never get pregnant.”

Bucky reached out and took Tony’s wrist. He directed the other man’s hand on to his abdomen where Tony could feel the pup moving. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“She’s moving in there. Sometimes she wakes me up at night when I sleep on my back because she’s doing this.” Bucky sighed.

Tony looked a little grossed out as he had his hand splayed over the taut belly, feeling around at the different movements. He then removed his hand and shook his head, “You don’t need to convince me, Barnes. I’ve already made the conscious decision that pregnancy is creepy. That is freaky.”

“Told ya.” Bucky opened up the bag of red licorice and began munching on the treat. He took his things to his room and set back to work on studying for an upcoming exam. He was doing exceedingly well in all of his college courses and had fully adjusted to his new life in Cambridge. He had made a small group of friends, most of who were from Rhodey and Tony introducing him to people. Although Bucky envied that he couldn’t go out and drink or easily hook up with some of the people who flirted with him, it helped to keep him focused and diligent to get A’s in his courses and impress his professors.

He rubbed at his stomach and contemplated sending Steve a picture of the pregnancy pillow. The alpha still texted him daily, but the texts had been growing less frequent as they both settled into their demanding lives. The last time that they had called one another, Steve had shared how much he loved his classes and life in London with pictures and audio recordings. The brunette sighed, missing the smell of Steve’s body and the touch of his hands. He had been struggling with that aspect of his pregnancy, but his doctor had given him some ‘alpha musk’ candles and scents for him to spray or light when he was feeling anxious. Of course Bucky picked one that closely resembled Steve’s scent, but it wasn’t the same as the real thing.

Whenever he touched himself to let off some of his hormonal frustration, it was to the memory of Steve fucking him so thoroughly that his legs couldn’t work properly afterwards. It made his toes curl to think of the blonde alpha sucking him off or eating him. He yearned for that contact again and hoped he could have it again with Steve, but he worried that his body would be too big with pregnancy and unattractive for Steve to find desirable. With that thought, he quickly dismissed where his mind was trying to go.

He worked at his drafting table on a few engine design concepts, losing track of time between the meticulous drawing and taking a break now and then to use the bathroom. Hours had passed when finally there was a knock at his half opened door. He glanced up from his work to see Rhodey standing in the doorway.

“So Tony told me that the pup is a girl. Is that true?” the beta asked with a grin.

“Yep. I live in a female dominated family, so it only makes sense.” Bucky stretched his arms above him, reaching for the ceiling until his stomach bumped into the table and hindered him any further.

“Huh. That’s really cool, Barnes. I just got back from class and I’m starving. I was wondering if you’re down for some Indian food tonight.”

The omega brightened as he hopped off of his chair. “You don’t need to ask me twice, Rhodes.”

The pair coaxed Tony away from his work and took a break to trek the crisp autumn air of Massachusetts to their favorite Indian cuisine restaurant. Bucky knew that the spicy food was going to give him heartburn all night, but he could care less as he dug into the curries and ate his fill of naan bread.

He was sure to send a photo to Steve of their dishes.

 **Buck** : God Bless the USA and all of our amazing food options.

 **Stevie** : L At least I have fish ‘n chips and some beer

 **Buck:** I have a feeling you’re going to be ravenous when you come home for Xmas

 **Stevie:** You’re not wrong.

 **Buck:** We can compare our beer guts!

 **Stevie** : I’m working hard on mine

**

The first accusation came when Bucky was in the grocery store looking at different soups. An elderly couple both cooed at him as they approached him. He wasn’t even aware that it was him they were looking at until one of the elderly women was right next to him, invading his space.  
“How far along are you?” she asked.

Bucky stood frozen for a moment. He side-eyed the other old lady who was gazing at him fondly.

Perhaps there was no harm in telling two old ladies.

“I’m uh, 6 ½ months.” Bucky replied sheepishly. He felt weird saying it out loud, but he couldn’t lie to a couple of old ladies.

“Oh my dear, I remember this stage. My feet were always swollen. How are you feeling?” the elderly woman asked.

The omega was surprised to find that he was smiling back at her, “I’m only a little miserable, but it’s not terrible.”

“Good luck with the next few months. I can tell you now that ginger tea and an ice pack were my constant companions.” She winked at him. “As well as my partner.” She glanced to her wife.

“Take care of yourself!” the other old lady sing-songed as they made their way past, still gushing over the pregnant omega.

Bucky let his hand rest on his swollen abdomen as his heart clenched with yearning.

\---------------

_Halloween, 28 ½ weeks pregnant_

Natasha and Clint made good on their promise to drive down from New York to visit Tony, Rhodey, and Bucky for the weekend. There was snow on the ground, but they made it in Clint’s late grandma’s Durango. It was a heavenly sight to see the duo at his doorstep that when Bucky  opened the door, his hormonal sensitivity caused him to tear up.  

“Aww James, you look adorable.” Natasha soothed as she hugged the taller omega.

“I was choppin onions, I swear.” Bucky groused. He didn’t even try to hide the tears running down his face.

Clint set down the duffle bag from his shoulder and brought the omega in for a hug. The familiar scent of the beta relaxed Bucky, though at the same time it made the tears fall from his eyes even more from how much he missed the duo. Now that he was further in his pregnancy, he was always sore all over and didn’t go out as much as he used to. He preferred to stay inside and stay warm versus braving the cold. Seeing the familiarity of his closest friends was like a water oasis in a desert.

The beta and alpha both came inside the spacious apartment, greeting Rhodey who was also in the kitchen cooking. Tony was at the couch, grumbling as he cleaned off some of his robotic building parts from the coffee table to make way for the snacks Bucky made. Tony had been chided by both of his roommate to help make the apartment look presentable, so he helped while complaining the whole time that they could just hire a maid.

Tony and Rhodey would be leaving soon to check out a few of the Halloween parties around campus, but Bucky had declined their invitation and decided to keep himself and his pregnant belly at home to watch horror films. At this point in his pregnancy, he had entered the third trimester and was beginning to feel large and uncomfortable. Standing for too long made his ankles swell, and finding a comfortable position when sitting or lying down took some effort.  Natasha and Clint agreed to hang out with Bucky and enjoy the evening festivities with their traditional movie marathon and food. Nonetheless, the omega promised that next year’s Halloween he would get dressed up and properly drunk enough to celebrate.

The omega snuck back to the kitchen to finish up the stir fry he was making for his guests. Rhodey finished up setting up the rice and the brownies before going to his room to change into his costume.

“So I bought you a little something to wear tonight.” Nat smiled devilishly as she entered the kitchen. “Clint and I decided that we should still have something to wear for the sake of the season.”

“I think the best thing on me is a white sheet with holes for the eyes.” Bucky stated. “I can be a large, shapeless ghost blob.”

Clint snickered as he pulled up his duffle bag and fished through the clothing. The beta pulled out an orange t-shirt and threw it over to the brunette. Bucky opened up the shirt and scowled. It was a giant Jack-O-Lantern shirt.

“There’s a hat, too!” Clint pulled out the hat and pressed it on Bucky’s head. It was the stem and some of the leaves and vine for the pumpkin.

“You will look very cute in it.” Natasha grinned.

To appease his friends, Bucky grumbled as he went to his room and changed out of his shirt. At this point he had been using the stretchmark lotion multiple times everyday due to the roundness of his abdomen. It was still manageable, but it was getting to the point where he was borderline just done with being pregnant. He slipped over the large orange shirt and placed the hat on top of his shaggy hair. He hadn’t cut his hair in a long time and it was almost chin length. (He could sport a very, very tiny ponytail) He had to admit that even though he didn’t quite feel sexy anymore, he did feel laughably cute in the costume.

He took a picture with an unamused face and a text reading ‘Boo’ and sent it to Steve.

The response was immediate.

 **Stevie** :!!!! Was this Nat’s doing?

 **Buck** : How could you tell?

 **Stevie** : You are the most adorable pumpkin ever. :)

 **Stevie:** Trick or treat!

 **Buck:** At least the shirt fits me.

 **Stevie:** It’s a keeper.

Bucky smiled when Steve sent back his own picture of he and Sam dressed up. Steve was smiling widely, dressed as a Roman soldier. (Which Bucky filed away for his spank bank because _damn_.) Sam was dressed up as the Green Lantern, looking especially fine with muscles that Bucky didn’t fail to notice in the tight suit.

 **Buck:** That Roman outfit made me pregnant.

 **Stevie** : You like?

 **Buck** : I’ll be surprised if you don’t get asked out at least 10 times.

 **Stevie** : I can send you some more shots. ;)

Bucky took pause as his eyebrows shot up. Now was not the time to get dirty photos from Steve, but the blonde had never offered before and the prospect of Steve’s seductive body in his phone made the omega slightly hard. He wondered if Steve must have been buzzed or drunk, seeing how he was 5 hours ahead in time.

 **Buck:** Fuck. Not til later?

 **Stevie** : ;)

Bucky came out of his room to find Natasha wearing matching fox ears with a tail, and Clint sporting a Robin Hood long green shirt to go with his dark wash jeans. Natasha had set out the plates and utensils for everyone and after the omega checked the food, gave it the green light to start eating. Tony came out into the room wearing a Superman shirt underneath the shirt he was already wearing. Rhodey, however, was excited to purchase his costume this year and was dressed as the Rocketeer.

“See, the trick is to hang out with people who are superbly dressed.” Tony explained. “Every eligible female will be lured in by Rhodey’s costume, and then I will sweep in for the kill.”

Rhodey merely shook his head and rolled his eyes as he got in line to load up his plate with stir-fry. The group ate and shared how their lives was going, leaving Bucky to feel incredibly content to be surrounded by the familiar scents of his friends.

*

Bucky’s phone buzzed halfway through _The Hills have Eyes_ and the omega, half awake and relaxed with a belly full of hot chocolate, opened up the text and nearly had his eyes bug out of his head. Attached was a picture of Steve taking a mirror selfie, sticking his tongue out with only half of his costume on (notably, [the leather](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5b/52/a1/5b52a13666a28fdc2138aa3027aed4b7.jpg)). The leather pieces were just barely covering his dick, but his torso was on full display. Underneath the photo was the text ‘As promised.’

 **Buck:** Jesus, Steve…

 **Stevie** : Was that too excessive?

 **Buck** : You have nice nipples.

 **Stevie** : ;) I showed you mine, show me yours?

At this point the brunette had snuck away from the cuddling pair. Nat smirked at him; her head nestled on Clint’s chest. Bucky excused himself to his room and shut the door carefully. He took off his hoodie and his orange shirt and stood in front of his mirror, looking at the different angles of his body to try and find one that looked ‘sexy’. He stared at his front and frowned at the baby bump. He turned to the side and frowned further. He sighed and looked over his shoulder at his ass, which was a little wider and rounder. The omega wriggled the pants down, trying to hide the elastic, but failed miserably. He groaned and sent Steve a picture of his socked feet instead.

 **Buck** : Everything else looks terrible, so here are my feet.

 **Stevie** : You have beautiful batman feet. Get on facetime? ;)

Bucky put back on his shirt while he sauntered towards his desk and pulled on his headphones and mic. Steve called him within a few seconds and the omega couldn’t help but to smile widely as he answered the call. He sat down at his desk and tried to smooth down his shaggy hair. The pregnancy had made his hair grow in fuller and thicker, which resulted in him needing a haircut. In his defense, the shaggy hair kept his head and ears warm.

“Hey!” Steve greeted brightly, his cheeks flushed.

“Hey yourself, doofus.” Bucky waved. “Man, are you drunk?”

The blonde shook his head, “Buzzed, that’s all. Sam went home with someone so I have the room to myself.” As if to prove a point, Steve angled his phone to show Sam’s empty bed.

“Okay…” Bucky smirked. “So what did you have in mind?”

Steve licked his lips and angled back marginally to show Bucky that he was still shirtless.

“I thought I could help you blow off some steam. You’ve been a very stressed lil pumpkin, haven’t you?” Steve waggled his eyebrows.

_He must be fucking drunk…_

Bucky bit his lip to keep in his laugh. “Oh? And what would you suggest this pumpkin do to relax?”

Steve was smiling so widely and earnestly that Bucky was trying his best not to let the smile get to him. He was so devastatingly handsome that it made the brunette weak in the knees. He was admittedly very horny and the thought of doing anything sexual with Steve, even over facetime, already had slick trickling between the cleft of his ass. He adjusted himself in his sweatpants.

“I suggest you get yourself comfortable.” Steve nearly purred, “I’ve been missing you and thinking about our time back in July.”

“Oh have you?” Bucky sat on his bed with his back against the wall. He was shy for Steve to see him with his large belly, but the blonde was always one to complement him on his changing form. He still kept the phone angled shoulders up.

Steve set his phone upright on his desk and backed away, revealing that he was still only wearing the leather straps of the tunic and what appeared to be black boxer briefs underneath. The omega felt his mouth water as the alpha shimmied his hips. “Let me know if this gets weird.” He said over his speaker phone. The omega had put on his headphones so that Nat and Clint wouldn’t be able to hear what was happening.

“It already is.” Bucky snorted, “But I am so turned on right now that if you stop, I’m going to be very miserable.”

Steve laughed as he hooped his fingers around the belt that held the straps up. “How wet are you?” he asked with interest.

The omega blushed as he took one hand and reached into his sweat pants, pushing them down marginally so that he could feel the wetness behind his balls. He reddened as he pulled some of the slick between his fingers and showed it to Steve. “Wet enough to soak halfway through my boxers.”

Steve moaned and slid off his leather bottoms. He was now only wearing the brown leather wrist cuffs and his black underwear, still looking like a perfect statue. Bucky admired him appreciatively as one hand held the phone and the other wrapped around his aching cock.

“You hard for me?” the alpha asked huskily.

“Yeah.” Bucky replied breathily. Steve smiled and turned his back to his phone. He slipped his boxers down over his toned ass that had the omega thanking the gods for such a perfect pair of glutes. He wanted to bite at Steve’s ass cheeks and spread him open to hear the loud moans the alpha would let out if he ate him out. He remembered fondly how much the blonde enjoyed getting fingered and eaten out.

“Fuck, I would eat you out Stevie. Finger that tight ass all sloppy and loose for me to fuck you.” Bucky blabbed as his hand picked up pace over his cock.

The alpha moaned as he turned around, his hand now on his cock. Bucky licked his lips as he eyed the familiar length and girth of the blonde’s dick. Steve was now stroking himself as he picked up his phone and went to lie back on his bed. “I miss knotting you. I also miss you fucking me hot and desperate in the car.”

Bucky felt his whole body flush at the memory. It was on the second day of his pregnancy heat when they ran to the supermarket to get snacks. On their way back, Steve pulled into a dark alley with a mischievous glint in his eye. They had moved to the back seat where Bucky sat back behind the alpha and fucked him between the front and middle seats, over the center console. It had been hot, quick, and filthy. The omega shuddered at the memory.

“I wanna eat you out and taste your slick.” The alpha admitted as his sweaty brows creased, “Want to feel how tight you are.”

Bucky groaned as he came, panting as he listened to Steve moan on the other side. He glanced at his phone to see Steve’s cock as he spurted cum all over his abs. If the omega could, he would’ve come again just from the sight.

Instead, he laughed, “What the _hell_ , Steve.”

The alpha giggled, “I missed this. Missed your voice and cumming to it.”

“You’re an ass.” Bucky muttered playfully.

“Mmmm, I know.” Steve yawned. “I miss you, Buck.”

“Miss you too, Stevie. Get some sleep.” Bucky was content to fall asleep where he was at, so he merely wiped his hand on the side of his sheets and made a note in his mind to wash his bedsheets tomorrow. He pulled back up his sweats and relocated under the covers to wrap around his pregnancy pillow. The omega fell asleep with Steve still on the phone, having bene lulled by his familiar voice.  

*

The next morning Bucky woke up when a swift kick to his bladder had him up and shuffling hurriedly to the bathroom. After he used the restroom he came back out in the cool air to see Natasha spooning (the big spoon) with Clint on the pull-out couch. The TV was off and the room was soft and silent in the early light.

The brunette roamed back to his room and looked at the text message alert on his phone.

 **Stevie** : I’m sorry if I embarrassed myself last night. I was a little drunk…

 **Stevie** : Hope you had a fun Halloween. ;)

The omega had a feeling Steve remembered most of the night, but he knew the blonde had a tendency to go outside of his comfort zone when he was tipsy.

 **Buck** : It was a good Halloween. Thanks for the treat!

Later on in the morning, Natasha noted that the omega had quite the skip in his step as they made Belgian waffles and made bets on when Tony would be home.  Clint ended up winning the bet when Tony arrived home the following morning with a wild story about a Brazilian super model and a librarian.

_______________________________________

_Thanksgiving, 32 weeks pregnant_

Bucky was resting on the couch, feeling like an uncaring land whale as he snacked on the homemade caramel corn his grandma had sent him. He was surrounded by his sisters as they watched _Alien,_ their mother grumbling in the background that it was not an appropriate ‘family holiday’ movie.

At this point in his pregnancy, his abdomen had swelled to the point that he could rest things on his stomach like a ‘tray table’. He was used to wearing very baggy clothing, which helped him to blend in and stay warm since there was snow on the ground and the air was icy cold. However, being surrounded by family afforded him a lack of caring which justified why he was wearing a stretched-to-its-limits old red Henley from his closet.  He was leaning back with the bowl resting atop his belly, snacking away and getting into the movie. They were at the part with the baby alien ripping out of John’s chest when Joy gasped.

“That’s what’s going to happen to Bucky!” Joy looked back at her brother and gave him a horrified look. Bucky glared at her and threw a popcorn kernel at her forehead.

“It’s a true likeness to what the pup will look like, too.” Becca snorted.

“I’ll have you know that I am a sacred birthing vessel and that I take offense to your statements.” Bucky growled, rolling his eyes.

“You look more like a spaceship.” Joy chimed.

Anna grinned, “Like the Death Star.”

“Quit it, all of you! I told you we shouldn’t be watching this movie.” Winifred groaned. She was sitting at the table behind the couch, putting together a Christmas wreath to set on the door. Let it be said that Mrs. Barnes was always the first one in the neighborhood to decorate for the holiday season the day after Thanksgiving.

The omega sighed and shifted as the pup moved inside him. He rubbed at his extended abdomen, trying to soothe the restless movements inside. Anna was watching him carefully with interest as her brother tried to get comfortable.

“Is the alien moving in there?” Anna asked.

Before Bucky could even answer, Joy piped up, “Can I touch it!?”

“Sweetie, a pregnant person’s body is not for the whole community to touch and grope at.” Winifred answered.

The pregnant omega shrugged, “Nah, it’s cool, ma. She can feel. Do you want to see it moving? It’s kind of creepy.”

Joy nodded excitedly. Bucky set the bowl of caramel corn to the side and shifted so that he could get his shirt up and over his navel. He was wearing sweat pants and from what he could see, his belly button still looked normal (thank god). By this time, all the girls had gathered around to watch the movement from the pup pushed against the skin on Bucky. They could see where the hand or foot (Bucky thought it might be an elbow) was shifting around across his skin like a little shark with fins out of the water.

Winifred stood behind them from the couch, smiling and looking nostalgic as she gazed at her son, “My goodness, the little thing has hiccups!”

“Well that would make sense for why she does this all the time.” Bucky stated.

“It’s a girl?” Anna looked quickly up to her brother.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you guys it’s a girl.”

“Have you thought of any names?” Joy asked. She was smiling widely as she pressed her hand on Bucky’s stomach, feeling the baby move, “I like Rose or Emma.”

“I like Grace.” Anna said with a soft smile, also placing her hand on Bucky’s stomach.

Becca shooed the younger two away. “We don’t get to name the pup, you guys. The new parents will name the pup.”

“We talked about this girls, remember?” Winifred stated, “Bucky is carrying the baby for a family that can’t have any pups of their own.”

Joy looked disappointed as she huffed a sigh.

Anna smiled apologetically, “I know. It’s just kind of exciting.”

Bucky pushed his shirt back down, ending the show so that they could get back to the movie. The girls seemed satisfied as they all sat back down in their respective spots. Winifred kissed the top of Bucky’s head and whispered, “When you were just a pup in my womb, you used to do the same thing. You had hiccups all the time, no matter what I ate or did.”

The omega glanced up to his mother, surprised by the confession. Winifred winked at him and walked out of the room to see if her husband had gotten down the rest of the Christmas decorations. Bucky was left to sink back into the couch and eat his caramel corn while the pup moved excitedly inside him.

*

Later that night, Bucky was sitting up on the foldout bed in the living room, unable to sleep as the pup had hiccups again. He sat back against the pillows, taking deep breaths as he ran his hands over his stomach in an attempt to soothe the pup to sleep.

  
“C’mon lil love, try holding your breath.” He whined softly, “Or maybe if I get a good scare, it would help both of us?”

The nick name slipped from his tongue, but it didn’t horrify him in the way that it should. He grasped that the movements inside him were an actual tiny human hanging out and growing in there. After a few minutes had passed, the pup settled down and seemed to be lulled back to rest as Bucky rubbed his stomach in circular motions. He glanced down at his clothed belly and sighed in contentment as the pup seemed to relax. The brunette grabbed his phone and texted Steve.

 **Buck:** So I figured out that she’s been having hiccups. She’s not summersaulting; it’s legitimately hiccups.

 **Stevie:** They can hiccup in there?

 **Buck:** Apparently. Wtf, right?

 **Stevie:** Kinda adorable. J How was your Thanksgiving?

 **Buck:** It was good. I’m in a food daze You?

 **Stevie** : Sam and I cooked up some turkey sandwiches and made some stuffing. It was good. It wasn’t the same without you and your family, tho. I miss your mom’s sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie.

Bucky smiled and scrolled through his pictures to send him a photo of their family’s layout of food. Steve replied with a crying emoji.

Feeling satisfied, the omega laid on his side, positioning pillows underneath his stomach and between his legs. He fell asleep to the comedic thought of the baby ripping out of his stomach like an alien.

*

On Black Friday, Bucky layered on all of his laid out clothing and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. Unsure of how he looked, he walked up to Becca’s room and knocked until she allowed him entrance.

“Do I look fat or pregnant?” Bucky asked after he shut the door and faced his sister, splaying out his hands in an attempt to model what he was wearing. He had layered a baggy hoodie over his plaid shirt and band tee. His pants were baggier jeans that, to his surrendering horror, had an elastic panel built in for him. He felt ridiculous.

“You look like a hobo.” Becca raised a brow at her brother’s attire. “But you do look bigger. I’m 75% sure you can pass that off as a beer gut.”

Bucky groaned and looked at himself in his sister’s mirror. He was fortunate that the sweatshirt did indeed cover most of his stomach, but he was still self-conscious that one of his friends would notice the protrusion as something more than just simple weight-gain. He was meeting Natasha at her apartment where she had planned to have a kickback some of their friends that were home for the holiday.

Becca stood up and surveyed her brother, walking around him to get a good look at every angle. She reached forward and poked at the baggy sweatshirt and nodded.

“Whatever you do, don’t let people hug you since your stomach is firm and not squishy. Also, you should empty out a beer bottle and fill it with soda so that no one is suspicious because you’re not drinking.” Becca instructed, “And finally, make sure you snack a lot and tell them your stress eating. They’ll understand because you’re a crazy perfectionist in school.”

The omega agreed with the plan. “Thanks, sis.”

He knew it was going to be hard to mask the pregnancy, but he was afraid that if more people knew, then the more likely Rumlow could find out through the grapevine. Even if Bucky claimed Steve as the father, it would still raise suspicion.

The omega did feel truly bad for lying to some of his friends, but he did it for the sake of the pup’s future and his own peace of mind. He would do anything to keep this from Brock; to protect his pup from the alpha.

Driving over to Nat’s in the borrowed Volkswagen proved to be another big difficulty. He first had to check the engine and make sure the beetle was still running well. George assisted him in double checking the transmission before giving it the green light. Bucky had to scoot his chair back farther in order to accommodate the bulge of his stomach. He cursed as he drove as carefully as he could, paranoid that the pup would start kicking his bladder or be squished. People were everywhere near the stores, so Bucky took the long back way to avoid the traffic and find decent parking outside of Natasha’s.

At Natasha’s apartment, he was greeted with a very excited red head who immediately came up to him and hugged him close. The brunette laughed in joy, bending down to hug Natasha carefully. He had to angle his torso slightly to the side to give her a proper hug.

“James, I am so happy you decided to come.” Nat pulled away and smirked. Her red hair was cut short and fell in loose curls past her chin. She looked stunning and toned; a big indication that dance school had been treating her well.

“You know I wouldn’t miss the chance to see you.” Bucky replied.

As the omega walked in, he waved in greeting to the group gathered. Those who were back in town and free to hang out were  Rhodey, Rhodey’s friend Carol, Wanda, Pietro, Janet (and her new boyfriend, Hank), Clint, and Clint’s friend Peter. As Bucky was sitting down next to Rhodey, the darker man nudged him as Sharon made her entrance soon after. The brunette sighed as he prepared for the long haul of the night. He didn’t wish any ill-will towards Sharon, but it was still slightly awkward for him knowing that he had slept with Steve only a few days after their break-up. He wondered if Sharon knew.

Bucky followed his sister’s instruction and snuck into the bathroom with his beer and a soda. He dumped the beer in the sink and tactfully re-filled it with ginger ale. He ended up using the restroom as well since his bladder was always under abuse from the pup’s sporadic movements. It was another thing that annoyed him about pregnancy. He was at the point where it was better for him to pee sitting down versus trying to maneuver around his stomach to grasp and aim standing up. It was frustrating, but the release of pressure on his bladder had him sighing with relief. His lower back had also been suffering from the baby weight, so any time he was able to sit down was a blessing.

When he was finished, he rejoined the group with his ‘beer’ in hand and sat next to Clint. He played some card games with the group as they talked about what they were up to and how life was going. Bucky made sure to take multiple pictures of their friends and send them to Steve.

 **Steve:** I wish I was there. Instead, I’m stuck working on some pieces for my winter critique.

 **Buck:** All work and no play makes you a dull boy, Stevie. 

 **Steve** : I know… Say hi to everyone for me!

The brunette smiled as he put his phone away and got back into the game. He was excellent at all card games, so eventually the group groaned that Bucky was sweeping them under the table. They moved on to some board games while they ate pizza and continued to chat. No one had made any comments on Bucky’s weight gain, but it was evident that there was some surprise from his friends at his appearance. He had always been fit and trim throughout high school, so Bucky made sure to lament about his stress eating and Tony’s well-stocked fridge and pantry.

Later in the evening, Sharon came over to sit beside the omega with a tentative smile. “Hey. I haven’t seen you in some time.”

Bucky smiled back, taking it as a peace offering as he faced her. “It’s been a few months. How is Chicago treating you?”

“Snowy and windy as hell. How’s Cambridge?”

“About the same, but less wind.” Bucky took a swig of his drink and sighed, “It’s no Brooklyn, but it’ll do for the next few years.” 

There was a pause in their conversation, the two of them unsure of what to talk about. They were never close friends, but they shared the same friend group and they had both been important to Steve’s life. Bucky knew that peeling the label on his beer bottle was something he did out of nervousness or boredom, but he didn’t care. He was tired and ready to curl up with a blanket and watch a movie.

“How have things been without Steve? You two have always been attached at the hip. I was wondering how he’s doing.” Sharon questioned.

It was somewhat surprising and satisfying for Bucky to know that Steve and Sharon didn’t keep up contact. The omega shrugged, “He’s doing good. He has a roommate that’s also from New York and they get along good. He’s been super busy with his courses and his art.” 

“And how are you doing?” Sharon tried to keep her glance to his stomach subtle, but Bucky caught the quick action from the corner of his eye.

“I’m busy, too. I love MIT, but the classes are intense so I haven’t had time to uh…” he gestured to his front, “Take care of myself. I guess I have a good New Year’s resolution to make, huh?”

Sharon didn’t seem wholly convinced. She tried to play off a chuckle and shrugged, “I know it sounds crazy, but I could’ve sworn that you looked pregnant.”

Bucky stiffened beside her. He wasn’t sure how to respond, but Wanda and Janet came over to join them.

“Who’s pregnant?” Janet asked curiously, having only heard the last bit of Sharon’s statement. She looked over at Bucky as her eyebrows rose, “Are you pregnant, Bucky?”

_Shit, shit, shit._

“Uh- ” Bucky scratched the back of his head, “Just a food baby.”

“Is it stress?” Wanda asked in concern, “I can somewhat relate to how you feel. This first semester has been extremely stressful at NYU. I can only imagine what you’re going through at MIT.”

“Ohmygod, I’m so sorry Bucky!” Janet looked mortified for asking. Sharon still sat quietly and eyed Bucky with suspicion. She still didn’t seem convinced.

“MIT has been tough, but I’m lucky that I have Rhodey and Tony to keep me sane.” The brunette omega waved off the statement. “It will get better. I’m adjusting.”

“It must be hard without Steve. I’m sure he misses you a lot.” Wanda pointed out.

Bucky blushed lightly, “Yeah, we try to keep up contact. He’s busy too, so sometimes our schedules don’t line up to chat on the phone or whatever. Thank God we all have social media, right?”

“Speaking of which, did you guys see that pic of Steve with the brunette?” Wanda commented.

“Is that the new girl Steve is dating?” Janet asked. “At least I think they’re dating. She’s hot.”

Bucky froze and looked up to Janet in surprise.

Wanda noticed the unease, “I don’t think they’re dating, but she’s really pretty nonetheless. She’s in a lot of his pictures.” She pulled up her phone and tapped on Steve’s Facebook profile. A few pictures down was a photo of Steve with his hand on Sam’s shoulder and the beautiful brunette kissing Steve’s forehead on the other side, her arms around him. Bucky looked at the picture appraisingly, trying to find any suggestion for romance. He wasn’t sure, but the picture was dated for two days ago. He’d seen pictures of Peggy before, but Steve never talked about her much and the thought that the two could be romantically involved felt like a slap to his face. He wasn’t sure what to feel.

“Her name is Peggy.” Wanda clicked on the girl’s profile. “Peggy Carter. Any relation, Sharon?”

“Not that I know of, no. But that would be strange if he dated another ‘Carter’.” Sharon took a sip of her beverage.

“Mmm, she has a few places that they’ve checked into, too. Are you sure they’re not dating? Seems like they hang out a lot.” Janet leveled her phone with Sharon as the two stalked Peggy’s profile to try to discern whether or not they were together.

Bucky excused himself from the group to get some fresh air away from the conversation. He walked (sometimes, more like waddled) out to the balcony where Clint was smoking a joint. Upon Bucky’s arrival, he immediately put it out.

“It’s cool, man.” Bucky shrugged it off and sat down on one of the wicker chairs. His brain was still trying to process the idea that Steve could be dating other people. Sure, they flirted and had phone sex a while back, but they were definitely not in a serious relationship. The omega couldn’t expect Steve to be completely celibate.

“I just don’t want you to breathe in any fumes because-“ Clint smirked, “Well, you know. Is everything all right? You look a little pale.”

“Just not feeling too hot.” Bucky confessed as he pulled out his phone. He knew he wasn’t being fair for assuming anything of Steve, but he was curious and a little annoyed that this ‘Peggy’ Steve had mentioned was gorgeous and hanging around with him a lot more than Steve had mentioned. He hadn’t hidden her from Bucky, but it didn’t stop the jealousy from thrumming in his veins. He started to feel annoyed and angry that after so many months, the alpha had been keeping details from him.

 **Buck:** So…you have a thing for Carter girls?

 **Stevie:** ????

 **Buck:** Peggy. Is she related to Sharon?

 **Stevie:** No, definitely not related. What do you mean by ‘a thing’?

 **Buck:** Are you and Peggy dating?

 **Stevie:** Who told you that?

 **Buck:** Wanda and Janet.

 **Stevie:** You know I would tell you if I was seeing someone. Is everything okay?

Out of unwarranted spite, Bucky didn’t respond as he closed his phone and put it back into his pocket. He took a swig of his drink and cursed, wishing it was an actual beer. Clint sat across from him and watched the scene play out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clint ventured.

Bucky thought about his conversation with Natasha months ago when she had warned him to not get himself too romantically invested with the alpha. Steve and him had never even put a label on what their hook-ups were. Logically, Bucky knew he had no right to criticize Steve for who he made friends with. He also had no right to who Steve dated; if and when he decided to date. The same went with Steve for Bucky; Steve couldn’t condemn him for his own choice of friends and relationships. Bucky hadn’t been dating because of his predicament, but that didn’t mean that Steve should also be barred from having other romantic interests. The rationale still didn’t ease Bucky’s frustrations.

“I’m just thinking stupid.” The omega confessed. “I’ll get over it.”

Clint didn’t look convinced. “Is this about Steve?”

“Isn’t it always?”

“Look, I know you’re great friends with him, but you two have a seriously unhealthy relationship at times.”

“We’re not in a relationship.”

“Okay then…friendship. Whatever it is you call your whole…situation.” Clint sighed. “All I’m saying is that whatever it is; you got enough stuff on your plate. If you’re jealous about something, figure out what it is and fix it. You two are solid when you actually talk to one another. Now, do you wanna play darts with me?”

Bucky felt his phone vibrate, but ignored the text. Instead he spent the next hour playing darts with Clint, Rhodey, and Hank. He found that he truly was enjoying himself and the company of his friends as he filed away his negative thoughts.

By the end of the night, the omega was well and truly tired. He said his goodbyes and allowed Nat and Clint to offer him side hugs before he walked out to his vehicle. The pair watched him protectively as he started the Beetle and drove home. It wasn’t too late at night yet, so he felt comfortable in the traffic as he drove. He was the first one to leave the party and lamented silently that next year he would drink and party as much as he could to make up for his mostly absent social life.

It wasn’t until late at night that he read the texts from Steve.

 **Stevie:** ???

 **Stevie** : Are you upset with me? L You know I would tell you, Buck.

 **Stevie:** I’m guessing you’re upset. Please know that I do miss you. I’m makin new friends here and it’s great, but I still struggle and miss Brooklyn. Peggy has been a great friend and yes, I am attracted to her. However, I haven’t tried to pursue anything with her because I’ve been busy.

 **Stevie:** I’m confused…did you want to be in a relationship with me? I thought we talked about it back in July that you didn’t want to be in a serious relationship during college.

 **Stevie:** Bucky? :(

The brunette set down his phone and laid back on his foldout bed. He adjusted himself to a comfortable position and reflected on the text messages Steve had sent him. He felt guilty and angry with himself for being so petty, but he also felt upset with Steve for being so far away.  

He knew he truly wasn’t being fair with the blonde to expect Steve to never date anyone again, especially since it was Bucky who had labelled their hook-ups as just that; hook-ups. Bucky had said there were no strings attached, which now looking back, was stupid to say since they were already invested in one another.

He ran his hand through his hair and thought of the difficulties that would be presented if they were in a serious relationship. He was eighteen and felt that commitment at this point in his life would prove to be a distraction from his personal life goals before anything else. He couldn’t go through the struggles of maintaining a serious relationship with someone who was equally as busy and far, far away.

 **Buck** : I’m sorry I overreacted. No, I don’t think I want a serious relationship. The girls were talking and I got upset that you never told me more about her. You’re free to date whoever you want. We don’t own each other.

 **Steve:** No one could ever ‘own’ you, Bucky Barnes.

 **Steve:** Are you sure everything is fine? I can call you and we can talk.

Bucky stared at the text and thought about what his life would be like with a serous boyfriend thousands of miles away. He veered his thoughts away and dwelled on the possibilities of him being able to date once he had the pup and worked out his confidence again. The omega was young and didn’t feel 100% ready to settle down. He knew that with Steve, it would be it for him. A part of him wanted to pull away and have other life experiences. He blamed his body’s biology and mechanics for his heart aching for Steve’s bond bite.

 **Buck** : I’m sure. I’m going to bed.                                           

 **Steve:** Okay. :(

*

Over 3,000 mile away, Steve sat in his bed and read over his text conversation with Bucky in the dark. He let out a deep sigh and turned off his phone to set it on his nightstand. His head and his heart hurt.

“Is this about your omega?” Sam mussed from the darkness of the room. It was 4 in the morning and he had been in and out of sleep, sensing the restlessness of his alpha roommate.

“He’s not my omega, Sam. He’s made that very clear.” Steve ran his hand through his hair, “I asked him if he wanted to be in a serious relationship and he said no.”

The beta whistled low and shook his head, “That’s fucked up, Steve. He’s been stringing you along forever, and that is not cool. Though maybe you shouldn’t ask him through a text message.”

“No, it’s not…but he’s right.” The blonde paused as he tried to tamper down his emotions. “I helped him through a pregnancy heat. We didn’t commit or propose to each other, and he’s made it clear that he’s not interested in having anything serious with me right now.”

“So why do you let him lead you on?” Sam asked.

“He’s not leading me on. I care about him and he’s my best friend.”

Sam tsked, “And that’s why you don’t fuck your best friend until you’ve read and signed the user agreement first.” Sensing that Steve was in a bad place, Sam sighed and rolled to face him from across the room. “Look Steve, you need to focus on you. I know you’re hung up on him and you want to be his baby daddy, but it’s not worth it if you keep feeling like shit. Maybe it would help if we go out tomorrow night and blow off some steam.”

 “Yeah…maybe.” The alpha didn’t sound persuaded, but he knew he needed to try to get back in the dating field. He had been hoping that perhaps Bucky would want to at least try having a relationship with him, but it seemed that the brunette was not interested. Still, why would Bucky get jealous over the thought of Steve dating someone else when he claimed he didn’t want him? The blonde felt frustrated and confused by the whole situation.

“Your boy made his choice. Be his friend, be his family, but don’t be his bitch, Steve. It ain’t cool to get fucked over.” Sam advised. “I’ve been there before and it never ends well.”

“I know, I know…It’s just that we grew up together and he’s a part of me, Sam. I would even venture to say that we might be true mates.”

Sam knew that this was a touchy subject for the alpha. They had been out at parties and meet-ups where the beta had noticed Steve’s reserve from flirting with others. He was stuck on the omega, but it seemed that all of their timing and what they wanted wasn’t matching up.

“I’m sorry, Steve, but I think you’re both confused and you should detach yourself from there and live in the moment here. Life is too short to be stuck over someone all the time.”

Steve nodded sadly and lay back in his bed, turning off his bed table lamp. He sighed, “You’re right, Sam. I need to get it in my head that he’s my best friend…not my lover.”

“There you go. Tomorrow, I’m takin you back out on the field.”

It wasn’t what Steve really wanted, but he needed to get his mind off of the omega. He decided that he would follow Sam’s lead for a while and see where it takes him, even though his heart didn’t feel fully into it. He wasn’t sure what he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is very hormonal. :/  
> As you can tell, this is a very Bucky-centric fic. Steve has the reasons he does what he does, and remember that they are 18 and still maturing at their own pace.  
> Thank you again for all of the love and support you have given me. I am truly inspired and grateful for your kind comments/feedback. <3 I’m back at work, but I’m still finding time to write! :)  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So are you nervous about having the kid?” Tony asked in-between bites of his sugar glazed donut.  
> Bucky honestly didn’t want to think about it, but he had been having dreams of lying on blood-soaked sheets or finding Brock above him, ripping the pup away. He had trouble sleeping, but didn’t want to admit his sweaty night terrors or the bags under his eyes. Instead, he shrugged, “Anytime you have something weird and foreign coming out of your body, I feel you should be nervous.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be sure to read the tags for warnings. Also warning for sex, graphic descriptions of labor and birth, as well as family feels.

 

On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, Bucky woke up feeling like a complete ass for the way he had blown up at Steve. He knew that he had overreacted when he had seen Steve with Peggy in the photos, and he knew it wasn’t fair for to cause the alpha to feel ashamed for being attracted to his friends. Hell, Steve was sharing a room with the handsome beta, Sam. Who was to say that Steve was exclusively attracted to women or to male omegas? Bucky was not in control of who Steve was sexually attracted to, nor should he have criticized the alpha.

He felt that it would be too easy for him to tell Steve he wanted a serious committed relationship, but he didn’t feel ready for something so big and impactful in his life. He felt like he had enough on his plate between dealing with the changes of his body, school, and adjusting to life outside of high school. Adding on more emotions and hardships in their relationship didn’t seem healthy. They had a long history that the omega wasn’t willing to throw away in order to try out a long distance relationship.

Bucky felt like he was having a bad hangover of emotions. He got ready for his day in a sluggish haze, mind reeling and preparing for his appointment with the hospital for a meeting with the social worker and then a tour of where he would be giving birth. He was skipping the short winter term session in January since his due date was the second week of the month. He had been badgered by his ma to finally take the time to get things done before then and possibly sign up for some lamaze classes to learn ‘labor techniques’. He shuddered at the thought.

He knew that logically people met with social workers early on in order to get adoptive parents set up, but he was nervous about the whole process. He was running out of time and he knew that it wouldn’t be fair to wait until the pup was born to begin looking for a new family. The omega had other things on his mind and had grown used to being in his own bubble with the pup keeping him company day and night as she hiccupped, kicked, and squirmed inside. He worried that she would resent him for making this choice for her. He also worried that the adoptive family wouldn’t treat her with the love and care she deserved.

The omega groaned in frustration as he shimmied and wiggled his maternity pants on. It wouldn’t be right to avoid his problems, but they were quickly stacking up; adoption, labor, college finals, his relationship with Steve, and his body’s daily aches and pains. He wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for as long as he could, but he instead pushed himself to get the rest of his clothing on and join his sisters in the kitchen.

“Ready for the big visit?” Anna asked over her mouthful of waffles. Joy also glanced up from the iPad she was playing with to smile at her brother.

The omega shrugged with a noncommittal sound as he stacked three waffles high on his plate and smothered them with butter and syrup. He sat at the table where his stomach bumped against the edge and bent forward to devour the food. Anna watched him with a small smirk as her brother finished his plate in haste. Bucky sighed when he was finally full, feeling more awake and less awful than he did before. He glanced to Anna and leaned sideways to shove at her arm playfully.

“It ain’t polite to stare, squirt.”

“I ain’t starin.” Anna smiled and looked back to her newspaper. Bucky chuckled while he put his plate in the sink in time for his mother to yell for him to go. Winifred sounded as if she was already in a tizzy, which caused the omega to roll his eyes and trudge along behind her in the snow as she pestered her pregnant son and Becca into the van.

*

Winifred and Becca drove him over to the local hospital where he met with a hospital staff member who showed him the delivery wing. The neutral chemical clean smell of the building made Bucky’s skin crawl, but Becca grabbed his hand and offered a reassuring smile when she noticed his uneasiness. He was given a pamphlet on some of the birthing classes that they offered in late December that could help ‘physically and mentally’ prepare him for the pup’s arrival. Becca made sure to badger him to sign up for the next Lamaze class so that she could accompany him and learn some breathing techniques.

The omega couldn’t help but look at the medical devices with disdain, dreading his due date more than he had feared anything before. He understood that male omegas had a higher likelihood in experiencing complications with birth, so his mind wasn’t eased or settled by his visit. No amount of reassurance that they were ready for anything could persuade him otherwise. His primary doctor had already cleared him for a natural birth, but a C-section was also up for consideration as he was monitored weekly for any signs of distress.

All throughout his pregnancy, Bucky had kept the reality of him having to go through pain and give birth in the very far back of his mind. Today he was finally faced with the truth of his predicament and what he would be going through in just a few short weeks. It was daunting, to say the least.  

At the end of the tour, Bucky sat down and met with the adoption agency Sarah had recommended. The social worker was an older woman who asked him the expected mundane questions about how many weeks along he was, the sex of the child, any family health history, and so on. Bucky answered the questions robotically, but took pause when the conversation veered to the pup’s parentage. 

“Now, the state of New York does require that both parents consent to the adoption of the pup. For health reasons, we do try to keep the pup as close to its birth family as possible due to imprinting, scenting, and familial bonding pheromones. If you consent to the child’s adoption, we must also have the consent of the sire and his family in order to move forward. If the sire of the pup and his family do not consent, then by law, they will have full custody; unless the conception of the child was issued by force. In that case, you can surrender without contact to the sire.”

Bucky felt nauseous as Winifred looked over to him with concern. He paled, feeling his heart beat pick up in his ears as fight or flight instinct kicked in. The three women seemed to sense the uneasiness of the omega as he stared resolutely at his lap. Becca could only helplessly glance between her brother and her mom.

“Mr. Barnes, are you okay?"

Bucky felt trapped.  He knew that his mother and Becca were not going to spill it out for him, and he wasn't willing to tell the truth so he took a deep breath and replied, “I know who the father is. It’s uh…Steve. Steve Rogers.”

The social worker nodded, “Very good. May I contact him?" Bucky nodded and she continued, "I’ll need his contact information as soon as you can provide it so that we can get things moving along.” She smiled, trying to seem friendly but it came off as official and dutiful. “Now we won’t be signing any final paperwork until after the pup is birthed. I’ll send you home with only the preliminary paperwork to fill out. The state of New York mandates that you have 24 hours after birth to change your mind if you do decide to keep custody of the child.”

The omega took the pamphlets and paperwork, nodding as the social worker rattled off the codes of conduct for the adoption and Bucky's rights if he decides to surrender the child. By the end of the meeting he was exhausted and troubled with what the next few weeks would have in store for him.

Once in the car, his mother turned to look at him, “Steve? Really, James? Why didn't you tell the truth?"

Bucky shook his head as he ran his fingers over the glossy words on the pamphlet. “He already agreed to sign her birth certificate as her dad. He might as well be.”

Becca and Winifred exchanged looks.

“Come again?” Winifred asked.

“Steve and I were talking and he asked if he could be the father. He’s going to be the one to sign the birth certificate when she’s born.” Bucky looked up to his family, who were both speechless. He continued, “I know it sounds crazy, but after the uh-“ he coughed, “-after what we had a few months back, I feel like she is his more than anything. He’s been there for me, ma. I don’t want this kid to think she was a mistake or be disappointed by who her real biological parents are.”

 Becca bit her lip and glanced to their mom, who looked to her sternly, “So Steve is the dad?”

“Yeah, not by blood, but by heart. That’s gotta count for something.”

“If that’s what you want, then it counts.” Winifred wasn't overly happy, but knew that Bucky’s heart was in the right place for his daughter. She left the conversation as it was and treated her two oldest to their favorite burger joint down the street. Winifred was worried about the next few weeks and what they meant for her son, but she knew Bucky could overcome anything the world threw at him.

*

Sam’s plan to get Steve out and ‘back in the game’ had worked up until the point that Steve was being pulled to the back alleyway of the club and had a dark haired omega sinking to his knees to suck him off. Inside the club, his senses had been overloaded with the feeling of drunken euphoria as he danced and was invaded by multiple alluring scents around him. He did his best to drown out his reasoning and let his bodily urges take control for once. It was a new experience for him to let and dance with others. With Sam as his wingman, he was well taken care of in regards to having a drink in his hand and interested suitors.

It had been fun and freeing to openly flirt with those who showed interest towards him. Sam kept giving him the thumbs up of approval, but now that he was out in the open air outside of the club, gasping in breaths of oxygen without the aroma of pleasure; he felt dizzy.

The man kneeling between his legs had begun to suck him off in desperate uncoordinated strokes. The blonde alpha groaned, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as he imagined another dark haired omega in the place of this one. He gasped and encouraged the other, going through the motions until he ultimately spilled in the man’s hand with a shaky moan.

“My turn?” The omega asked seductively.

The voice was all wrong and didn’t match the alpha’s fantasy, but he didn’t want to be an asshole and leave the guy hanging. He nodded as he turned the man around to face the stone wall. He jacked him off with one hand while the other fingered the man’s ass until the sweet smelling omega cried out and shuddered his release. At the end of their quick-paced tryst, they both straightened their clothing and the omega smiled, gave a kiss to Steve’s cheek, and headed back inside.

Without the other’s scent to distract him, Steve was left with an empty feeling that quickly crawled its way up his throat and escaped in the form of a broken sob. He was slightly drunk and miserable now that he was left to himself and his feelings of rejection. The blonde sunk down to sit against the cold wall and stare up at the winter London sky, allowing himself to be frustrated. He wanted nothing more than a cigarette and debated going back inside to find another person to fill his time. He felt dizzy and weary, so instead he stay rooted on the ground until it passed.

Eventually it was Sam who came out and found him hunched over with snowflakes gathering on his shirt. The alpha didn’t even seem to care that he was shivering.  

“You okay there, Rogers?” Sam asked.

The alpha shook his head, “Don’t feel too good.”

“You gonna hurl?”

“Mmm, no…Just want to go home and sleep.”

Sam helped the alpha up to his feet and allowed the taller man to lean against him for warmth and comfort. Steve smelled like sad drunken alpha and the beta had half a mind to walk him to the dorm showers to get the sad smell washed off.

“Did you have fun?”

Steve nodded, then shrugged. “I was having fun, but I don’t know.”

“I think you need to sleep this off.” Sam, ever resourceful, hailed a cab and got them home. The blonde was practically sleep walking at this point and followed the lead of his roommate like a dog with its tail between its legs.

“I need to call him.” The blonde stated tiredly as Sam helped him get settled into warm pajamas and tucked underneath the covers.

“You need a good night’s rest and some water.” Sam pointed out. “And a shower.” He opened up a bottle of water and handed it to the alpha, who downed half in just a few gulps.

“Do you think I’m pathetic?” Steve whispered, feeling vulnerable and raw in his drunken state.

The beta looked to him fondly. “I think you got a hell of a lot of issues that need some straightening out. Pathetic? No. Pushy? Yes. You need to give Bucky some space to figure out himself, but you shouldn’t be standing on the sidelines wishing and hoping. Life is passin you by, man. You need to figure out who you are and what you want.”

The blonde took in his words, eyes heavy with sleep as he faced Sam. “Thank you…”

“Sleep it off, Steve.” Sam responded light-heartedly. The alpha was down and out in less than a minute.

*

Early on Sunday morning, Bucky’s phone rang with a familiar name flashing across the screen. The omega stared at it blearily before picking it up on the third ring.

“Steve?”

“Buck, hey.” Steve sounded worn-out on the other line.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” Bucky asked. He maneuvered himself to sit with his back propped up against the couch, causing the pup to wiggle in annoyance inside. He groaned as he made himself comfortable and rubbed at his swollen middle. Steve didn’t sound so happy, so immediately warning bells were going off in the omega’s head.  

“I wanted to talk about our texts the other night. I feel like there are mixed signals and I was hoping we could clear it up.” The alpha ran his hand across his head in nervousness.

Bucky really didn’t want to have this conversation, but he knew it was coming. He sighed, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Okay. I just need to put this out there, but after last summer it feels like I’m in a pseudo relationship with you. I asked you the other night and you said you didn’t want a serious relationship…Is that how you feel?”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and thought of all the frustrations he had experienced in the past few months. He was upset that he wasn’t having the carefree college experience that all of his friends did. He was scared of entering into a serious relationship too early with his best friend before he felt mature enough to handle one. The omega had never been in a committed relationship, so the thought that this could be it for him at such a young age scared him. He also worried that if the relationship didn’t go well, it would destroy their friendship that was built through years and years of hard work and life experiences. It was mildly terrifying.

“Steve, I’m going to lay it out for you. It doesn’t make sense for us to be in a serious committed relationship when I have no idea where we’re going to end up in our careers and you’re across the ocean. I’m only 18 and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t get into any serious relationships until after I graduated college. I’m fine with fooling around with you because I trust you, but if you want to pursue anything serious with me, I want it to be after we’ve graduated.” Bucky explained. “What we have right now is…its safe.”

“So you want to be friend with benefits?” The alpha asked, voice shaking slightly over the phone.

“You know you mean more to me than that. I care about you and we’re practically family. We just also happen to have insanely good sex.” The omega ran his hand through his bedhead, “I don’t want to hold you back from the college experience Steve. You should go sow your oats and whatnot, and I’ll do what I wanna do once I’m able.”

The alpha was silent on the other side of the line, filled with unsaid words. He let out a deep exhale, “So the thought of me sleeping with other people doesn’t bother you?”

Bucky growled, “I mean, shit, it kinda does, but I also think that we should be free to do what we like and if in four years you really want to give a serious relationship a shot, I might be in.”

“Okay.” Steve sighed. “So for now we are friends who, when we’re together, have sex?”

“Well, when you put it so bluntly, I guess.” Bucky could tell Steve was still not entirely happy, but he wanted to lay the cards on the table and move forward. “I like sleeping with you; it’s easy and fun. I just don’t think I’m ready to be tied down.”

There was silence for a few moments as Steve carefully took in Bucky’s words. It hurt the alpha, but he wasn’t going to fight Bucky on it. “If that’s what you want, then I’m in with your plan…”

“Okay.” Bucky agreed. “Though, just a heads up that you probably won’t want to fuck me when you come back since my mobility is pretty bad and I have a watermelon out front. And I’ll be popping out a kid in January so I’m kind of a mess.”

The alpha huffed a soft laugh, “Barnes, I would still be happy to suck your dick.”

“Mmmm. Now you’re talkin. I haven’t actually seen my dick since October.

 The alpha shook his head, “Seriously, Buck? You’re bringing that up?”

“Yep. I’m that big.” Bucky tried to deflect the serious talk with jokes, but he could tell that Steve’s heart wasn’t into it.

“So 4 years and then we re-evaluate?” the alpha clarified.

“I think that sounds fair.” Bucky settled, “We go through college, we do our own thing while also doing each other, and if after we’ve graduated we’re ready to give this a serious shot, then I’m in.”

“And in the meantime, we avoid talking about our other…conquests?” Steve felt dirty even saying the word, but he knew that he needed to have a more positive outlook on sex. He was typically more private and less outspoken about his sex life, whereas Bucky sometimes had no filter or issue laying it out there.

“We’re young, Steve. We have time.” The omega pointed out. He was doing his best to think rational and set aside his love for Steve to focus on the reality of life.

“Okay…well, I’ll be home in a few weeks on Christmas. Do we just go back to what we’ve been doing, then?”

“I think so. I’m fine with it if you are.” The omega replied. 

“Then we just keep doing what we’re doing.” Steve parroted Bucky. Although it truly wasn’t 100% fine or okay with Steve (or even with Bucky), circumstance and life made it what it was. Their situation wasn’t desirable or ideal, but they both knew they needed to roll with what they could and carry on with life. Bucky got off the phone feeling frustrated, while on the other side of the ocean Steve hung up with the same hollow sentiment as the night before. 

*

Bucky went back to Cambridge on Monday morning with his dad driving him down the snowy roads. He was comfortable as they listened to a car talk radio and watched the white icy scenery outside. The omega had spent all of Sunday with his mother, sisters, and Natasha doing Christmas shopping, crafts, and holiday baking. Having time with just his dead eased his mind away from his troubles as they talked about work and school from time to time.

It was relaxing to be in the presence of his father’s protective scent and feel like a kid again. George wasn’t a man of many words, but he had always been a loving dad and a hard worker. He encouraged Bucky’s need to tinker and create from a young age and was now excited to send his son links and emails on different auto engineering breakthroughs or classic cars for sale in the area. They also discussed boxing and baseball stats when they had filled enough of their time with cars. For the omega, it was nice to focus on his time with his dad and he wished that he didn’t live so far away. George helped him get his things back into the apartment before giving his son a big hug.

“I’m very proud of you, James. Keep working hard...you’re almost done.”

“Thanks, dad.” Bucky smiled and tried not to feel too emotional as tears threatened the corners of his eyes. He stood outside and waved as his dad left down the street.

At home, Bucky went to work on preparing for finals. He had only three weeks left for school and then he would be home for winter break until the end of January. In that time, he would be giving birth and recovering from the birth, so he had nothing exciting planned other than hopefully some good painkillers and sci-fi marathons, namely BattleStar Galactica. Steve had already sent him his flight information that detailed he would be flying in on Christmas day and leaving in mid-January for his next semester.  

He cleaned around the apartment until Rhodey same trudging in late in the evening, looking almost like a snow monster with the amount of white covering his hat and jacket. The two made hot chocolate and sat on the couch, watching holiday movies and sharing Chinese food between them.

“So I survived Natasha’s party.” The omega brought up, feeling quite satisfied with himself.

Rhodey snorted, “Barely. I don’t think you’ve fully convinced everyone that you’re carrying a food baby.”

“What makes you say that?”

His roommate finished chewing on his chow mein, “Some of the crew were still talking about you when you left, but Natasha did intervene and shut them up. Nothing bad; just people are concerned about you. They know some stuff went down with you and Steve so they were wondering if your appearance was due to a breakup. Janet and Sharon still think you’re pregnant, but Nat spent some time talking to them, so who knows.”

The omega was annoyed that he had been the subject of some of their conversation, but at the same time, he knew how he looked and felt he shouldn’t be surprised that people were talking and wondering.

“Let ‘em talk. I’m almost done and things will be back to usual in no time.” Bucky muttered.

“Almost to the end of the road and with an outstanding GPA and your sanity still intact. Good on you, Barnes.” Rhodey poked him with his chopsticks.

“And you, too. Rhodes.” Bucky poked him back.

They continued eating in peace as it snowed in great flurries outside.

********

_Mid-December, 36 weeks pregnant_

After the chaos that was finals, Bucky was proud to say that he was still a straight-A student and had indeed left most of his sanity intact. Despite feeling terrible and uncomfortable in his own body, he was thankful to have the mental distraction of getting all of his final papers and projects turned in, as well as the extra time to study for final exams. He celebrated with his roommates by buying a box of Dunkin Donuts and chowing down with them while they drank beers (apple cider for Bucky). Rhodey would be driving with Bucky back up to New York State while Tony would be flying over to the Bahamas for the winter holiday break.

“So are you nervous about having the kid?” Tony asked in-between bites of his sugar glazed donut.

Bucky honestly didn’t want to think about it, but he had been having dreams of lying on blood-soaked sheets or finding Brock above him, ripping the pup away. He had trouble sleeping, but didn’t want to admit his sweaty night terrors or the bags under his eyes. Instead, he shrugged, “Anytime you have something weird and foreign coming out of your body, I feel you should be nervous.”

“But aren’t you scared of it ripping you apart?”

“What, like alien?” Rhodey interjected. “Not a cool image.”

Tony snapped his fingers, “Yeah! Like alien or that part from Ace Ventura when he comes out of the fake rhino.”

Rhodey smacked Tony upside the head and shook his head.

Bucky narrowed his grey-blue eyes at the two of them while he finished his donut. Giving birth was constantly on his mind these days and he truly was afraid of what labor would be like. He had a scare only two days before when he was doing his morning power-walk (more like power _waddle_ ) around the track when suddenly he felt a huge pressure drop of his stomach. He stopped as he literally felt the pup descend lower into his abdomen. It was so sudden and unexpected that when her head pushed against his pelvis, he accidentally wet himself from the abrupt pressure against his bladder. He could breathe better, but the fact that he had just soiled himself was so humiliating that he hurriedly made his way off of the track and went straight home to the shower.

His mother had later explained to him on the phone that it was called ‘lightening’ and that the baby had dropped down lower in his pelvis in preparation for birth. He was worried that he was about to go into labor, but apparently it was completely normal even a month before the pup was due. He felt a little better because of it, but the lower back pain had intensified and left his libido in the dust.

Gone were the days when Bucky was only 5 months pregnant and able to still maneuver and maintain some flexibility while feeling healthy. Now, he was well and truly miserable most of the time. The pup seemed to be more annoyed now, too. If Bucky moved his body in a way that didn’t allow her to stretch or be comfortable, she was quick to push and kick angrily back and cause the omega to groan and whine until he could appease her. His heartburn was off the charts and his stomach felt full faster now that his organs were struggling with room.

The brunette ran his hand over his pale face, “Can we not talk about labor and birthing? It’s freaking me out.”

Rhodey looked sympathetic, “I can only imagine what it’s like to push a watermelon out of your body.”

“This is the last time I buy you jerks donuts.” Bucky made his point clear as he grabbed the last donut and shoved it into his mouth forcefully.

 Bucky maneuvered himself carefully from the chair and went to rest on the couch. His stomach was a shelf at this point, so he set his phone on top while he turned on the TV to get his daily dose of holiday specials. Rhodey joined him a few minutes later with a peace offering of hot cocoa with marshmallows. The omega accepted the mug and leaned back with a pillow situated on his lower back and his legs elevated to give his sore feet a break. He sipped at the beverage and willed his body to relax and not think about the inevitable. He wanted to text Steve to vent his frustrations, but he had been giving the alpha some space ever since their discussion weeks back. They still communicated, but it was less and less. Part of it was Bucky’s own fault as he felt himself withdraw during finals to focus on himself.

Still, he did feel slightly bad.  

*

The next morning, Rhodey and Bucky packed up Rhodes’s Camry with their needed supplies for the winter. Bucky had a lot more to bring, seeing how he was planning on staying until a week or two after the pup’s birth in January. The pregnancy pillow just barely fit in the backseat, while the luggage went in the trunk.

“Shouldn’t we buckle in your pillow?” Rhodey suggested with a snort.

“Pffft, my pillow alpha will survive.”

“Pillow Alpha? Is its name Steve?”

Bucky swatted at Rhodey and said his goodbyes to Tony, who was still barefoot and in his pajamas in the snow.

“Good luck with everything.” Tony brought Bucky into a hug, which was a rare moment for the two omegas. “I’m rootin for you, Barnesy.”

Bucky had smiled and punched his arm. “Have fun with all the supermodels in the Bahamas.” Tony had merely winked at him with an impish smirk.

It took the pair almost two and a half hours to get up to Brooklyn due to the snow and the traffic (and Bucky’s need to pull over so he could pee), but they had Christmas carols and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra playlist to get them through it. By the time Rhodey dropped him off at his house in Brooklyn, George and Becca were both outside to greet the college students and take Bucky’s items inside. The beta was sure to give Bucky a big hug and promised he would see him soon when the group got together. The omega had to remind him that at this point, there was no way he could hide his stomach from the group, so he was probably staying home until the birth.

Rhodey had smiled apologetically, understanding Bucky’s need to be away from others as he prepared for the birth. Rhodes left with a big hug and a plate of cookies from Winifred.

Mrs. Barnes had the TV room set up for Bucky to stay in where he would be sleeping again on the foldout couch. She had cleared out most of the space and excitedly embraced her son when he waddled inside.

“You’re huge!” Joy gasped.

Becca was giggling as she hugged her brother from behind, “Aww Bucky, you have your own gravitational pull.”

“Mayday, Mayday, I’m being pulled in!” Anna joined in dramatically.

Bucky shook them off, “Quit it, parasites!” He gave his ma a kiss on the cheek since maneuvering for a hug took too much effort. The pregnant omega sat down and allowed his sisters to inspect his stomach while he pushed his head back against the sofa’s headrest. Joy was the most excited as she sat beside her brother and ran her hands over his stomach to feel the pup. The eldest sibling was patient and guided her hand to where she could feel the baby’s foot and her bottom.

At this stage in his pregnancy, he felt like his body was changing daily. It made it difficult to look in the mirror and comprehend that the body he was seeing was his. He felt like a completely different person from before this happened and he wasn’t sure if it was for the good. He took a shower later that evening and stared at his form in the mirror. Gone were the days when his baby bump was a cute little protrusion. Now he had a full blown beach ball hanging out that was making his skin itch from the stretch and his joints and muscles ache in ways he never imagined. He had stopped sending pictures to Steve of his naked belly due to his own embarrassment. His once excellent toned abs were gone and although his arms and legs were still strong, he couldn’t get over how wide his ass had gotten. He still wouldn’t confess that he had to wear a small compression bra for his nipples, which were so sensitive and sore that touching them made him hiss in discomfort.

His energy level was low, so it fit perfectly that the next few days at home were made up of spending time with his family and counting down the days that Steve would come back to the states. He did manage to spend time with Natasha and Clint, both of whom were more than happy to get out of the cold snow and bundle up to make gingerbread houses with him and drink hot apple cider.

On the third day of his arrival home, Becca drove his grumpy ass to a Lamaze class. It was extremely embarrassing to be doing all the stretching and moves with the bouncy ball while his sister tried to help him and support some of his weight. The hot male instructor seemed to dote on Bucky and his sister, which added an extra amount of humiliation when the instructor helped to position Bucky’s hips appropriately and the omega let out a soft moan. After the two hour class, Bucky left with a red face and Becca left with the guy’s number (which she decided to save until she was 18). To appease her brother, Becca bought them soft serve ice cream at McDonald’s and ate it in the parking lot with her brother while they talked about high school and Becca’s friends.

“So are you going to have Steve there when you give birth?” Becca asked around licks of her ice cream.

“If he wants to be there.” Bucky shrugged.

“Well, the instructor said that it’s easier if you give birth with your partner there, so it might be worth it to have him there with you. I know you want Natasha and mom in there, but I would consider Steve.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, “You just want to see us date.”

“Who doesn’t?” Becca joked.  

*

A few days into his arrival home, Bucky experienced a sharp pain that he thought for sure signaled labor. He had cried out in a panic and was driven immediately to his doctor. After a quick exam by the OBGYN, Bucky came to learn that he was experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions and that he had already began to slowly dilate, signaling that birth was near and imminent. Because it was still too early, he was restricted to bed rest when he got home, which was only made bearable by playing Skyrim on his laptop or reading. Winifred hovered and fawned over her son while at the same time reminiscing about her own pregnancies.

Bucky was severely annoyed by the little bursts of pain, but tried his very best to take it in strides.

Late in the evening one night, Bucky was sitting up tiredly as the pup continued to move and kick. He had his stomach exposed and took a video of how her feet and elbow pushed up against his skin, creating little bumps. He sent the video to Steve and set his phone down so that he could poke at whichever spot she pushed his skin out. It had become a game for him to play with the pup as he poked at her and she pushed back.

“Does it hurt?” Becca asked as she walked into the room with two cups of chocolate milk.

“Eh, I’ve gotten used to it. This doesn’t hurt so much, but sometimes she kicks up into my ribs, which is unpleasant.” Bucky sighed as he took the cup of chocolate milk gratefully. “Now she’s so big that when she hiccups, my whole stomach moves.”

“It’s so weird that she’s moving around in you. Mom has been going nuts with nerves over your delivery. Our internet search history is pretty sad.”

“I can only imagine.” The omega snorted.

“It’s the next level of crazy. She’s worried about you.”

“C’mon Becs, ma is always worried about all of us.”

Becca looked to him pointedly, “Aren’t you worried?”

“Well...yeah. But there isn’t a whole lot I can do at this point other than let my body do its thing.”

Becca sat next to her brother and pulled some of the mess of blankets over her legs. She cuddled in close until their shoulders were touching. The omega immediately felt comforted by the familiarity of his sister’s presence. They ended up watching all of _Elf_ on TV in the quiet while it snowed in steady flourishes outside. It was three days until Christmas and all Bucky could think of was family, Steve, and _labor_.

*

On Christmas Day, Joy had the tradition of waking up the whole family to drag them downstairs to see what Santa brought them. Bucky had the luxury of being the last one up and having to travel the shortest distance to the front sitting room where the Christmas tree and presents were situated. He checked his phone where he had a text message alert.

 **Stevie** : Boarding the plane! I’ll see you in a few hours! J

 **Stevie** : Hopefully we don’t hit any icebergs on the way there.

The omega smiled and texted back.

 **Buck** : Prepare your stomach for goodness.

Bucky was both thankful and a little sad that he had missed the Midnight Mass the night before with his family, but his mother didn’t want to trouble him when he was feeling so awful. The service was hours long of singing and candle lighting that Bucky loved, but his feet felt so sore and swollen if he stood on them for too long. It had been a tradition for the Barnes and Rogers families to go. Bucky could remember playing games in the pews with Steve when they were little and bored with excitement over the presents under their trees.

Opening presents with his family was an exciting affair where the omega was gifted two new pairs of shoes, socks, some books, Doctor Who DVDs, and a new tool set for him to bring with him to college. After the rush of the morning, the family ate quiches with sides of bacon, ham, and hash browns. This led to a very relaxing food coma that the omega was able to serve in the comfort of his own bed, where he dozed off for most of the day in-between watching movies with his sisters.

In the early evening, Bucky was sleeping on the couch when he was jolted awake by the sound of the front door. He perked up a bit, curious to see what was going on when he heard Joy squeal, followed by Steve’s familiar laugh. As quickly as he could, he shuffled and squirmed from his melting point in the couch and rushed to the front room where a shaggy-haired Steve had picked up Joy in a hug.

As soon as the blonde alpha looked at Bucky, his blue eyes widened comically. He couldn’t believe how much the omega’s stomach had grown and changed since the last time he saw him in July, when Bucky had barely a bump. The pictures didn’t even seem to do him justice. He set Joy down and ruffled her hair before walking over to properly greet Bucky.

The brunette omega was smiling widely, tears brimming his eyes, “Hey jerk.” He reached his arms out, doing his best to maneuver himself into a hug as Steve embraced him. The pup was kicking and pushing excitedly inside, causing Steve to nearly jump back when he felt the kick against his own abs.

“Oh my god! She kicked me!” Steve backed away in slight horror, but he was still smiling wide.

“Uh, yeah…she does that.” Bucky stated nervously. He went back in for another offered hug and this time didn’t hide the fact that he was scenting Steve’s heavenly aroma. The alpha was doing the same as he rubbed his nose along Bucky’s neck and noted all the differences. The awkwardness and frustrations that had been sizzling between them for weeks fell away as they re-acquainted one another to their familiar scents.

The two were wrapped up in each other long enough to feel embarrassed when George cleared his throat behind them. Steve pulled himself away bashfully and went in to give a hug to the rest of the Barnes family, who were gathered and observing the two with interest. Winifred was quick to lead the alpha to the kitchen to make him a plate of Christmas lunch. Steve sat next to the omega at the table and smirked at his stomach.

“I can’t believe how big the pup has gotten.”

“It’s terrible, Steve.” Bucky huffed. “Everything takes effort these days.”

“Mmm. I can imagine. May I?” He gestured to the omega’s belly.

“Be my guest.” Bucky moved his hands away and allowed the alpha to run his hands over the omega’s stomach. Steve smiled brightly as the pup kicked in response.

“Man, you weren’t kidding.” He leaned in to Bucky and scented behind his ear, feeling drawn in more powerfully than he had thought. “Please let me know if I’m invading your space.”

“I’ll tell you. Just shut up and get yourself all over me.” Bucky whispered back, feeling slightly scent drunk with having the alpha back in front of him.

George cleared his throat and the pair shifted away from each other, looking caught.

“So Bucky tells me you’re going to be signing the birth certificate.” George stated as he sat across from the two young adults.

Steve nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“That’s a big decision, Steve. Are you sure you want to go through with that responsibility?”

Bucky looked between the two alphas.

The alpha smiled softly, “It would be my honor.”

George asked Bucky to leave the room so that he and Steve could talk. The omega booked it out of there, although a little reluctantly since Steve’s scent was still drawing him in. Winifred had Bucky come with her to the main room to help her sign thank you cards to relatives for the Christmas gifts.

Later on, Steve rejoined the omega and curled up with him on the brunette’s makeshift bed. He wouldn’t share what he and George discussed, but he seemed content and at peace. Not wanting to pry or ruin the moment, Bucky let it slide and enjoyed the feeling of comfort from Steve’s body. They didn’t talk about college or their social lives; instead, they were left with the silence and each other’s presence while their bodies synced with one another and worked to patch the 5 month physical absence. Being around Steve’s scent was like a drug, and even though deep down Bucky’s heart hurt that they weren’t ‘together’. He was content to have just this, for now.

The alpha was in much the same way. A part of him wanted to discuss the strain in their relationship, but it melted away as he felt the pup hiccup and move inside of Bucky. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine that everything was under better circumstances. He imagined that the pup was truly his, and felt that deep down, she was. Even if not by blood, by his love for Bucky, he loved her too.

*

Over the next three days, Steve made his rounds to all of their friend in New York, but always bowed out early so that he could sneak back over to the omega’s house. Since his ma was still working some night shifts, Steve was happy to stay the night with the pregnant omega to inhale his heavenly scent and keep him warm, wrapped around him. They carried on as if their conversation in November still didn't weigh heavy on their hearts, It was easier to pretend that everything was going swimmingly well between them verses arguing and airing out hurt feelings. They both knew that they were not good with acknowledging their true feelings, but they only had a few short precious weeks together and Bucky was going to make do with what he could. 

Bucky was the first to initiate a kiss, which started out innocently enough but grew as he felt Steve’s hands hot on his wide hips. They were over at Steve’s house, which was the first indication that something might go down since Bucky couldn’t keep his hands to himself when they were alone together. Not wanting to scar his younger sisters had been his reasoning for not jumping Steve’s bones as soon a she could, but now they had the opportunity.

The omega felt slow and clumsy as he tried to undress Steve. The blond couldn’t help but to chuckle at their predicament as he undressed and helped Bucky divest of his own clothing. The omega was extremely shy when it came to his own body, but Steve was a generous lover in bed and made sure to kiss all along Bucky’s exposed stomach and knead his ass. He scented at Bucky’s stomach and groaned as he also inhaled the scent of Bucky’s slick. However, he did take pause at the compression bra the omega was sporting.

“This is new.” Steve smiled as he ran his finger along the bra’s seams. It was very utilitarian and without any lace or sexy add-ons. The fastenings were at the front of the clothing with a simple zipper.

“My nipples ache, Steve. It sucks. The doctor said that some male omegas get this.”

Steve unhooked the front and undid the zipper. Bucky’s nipples were pert and darker in color. Bucky gave him permission to lean in and lick eagerly at the swollen nubs, sucks and rolling the skin in his hands. They were not full enough to be female breasts, but they were rounder and enticing. The omega groaned and panted above him as Steve, who was on his side in order to have easy access to his chest, went to town on lavishing Bucky’s abused nipples with attention.

However, Steve suddenly gasped in surprised and sat back when liquid rushed into his mouth. His eyes were as wide as Bucky’s as they stared at each other in shock. The blonde carefully reached up and licked his lips, some of the fluid running down his chin.

“No. No _. No_. That did _not_ just fucking happen!” Bucky cried out.

Steve swallowed and started to laugh hysterically. He leaned down to Bucky’s left nipple, the omega protesting in high squeals as the alpha sucked on his nipple again and was met with the creamy white liquid again. He laughed as he sat back and gathered Bucky into his arms.

“I can milk you!” Steve was nearly crying, “Oh my god, Buck, you taste so sweet! No wonder your tits are hurting.”

Bucky was groaning in embarrassed horror, “What the _fuck_ , Stevie?!

Steve kissed the side of his cheek. “It’s okay. It’s totally natural. I mean, it’s somewhat rare, but it _is_ natural. You’re okay, Buck. I’m not scarred for life just because I-“ he snorted with laughter, “-just because I drank some of your breast milk.”

The omega swatted at him playfully. “Fuck you. Are you going to make fun of me or have sex with me, Rogers? Pick one.”

The blonde smiled widely and gathered the omega back in for a deep kiss. He still ran his hands over the omega’s nipples, causing the other to groan and pant as he reached down and felt the alpha’s familiar thick girth.

It was easy from there for the two to fall back into the heat of moment. Bucky had to lay on his side on Steve’s bed with some of the pillows underneath his stomach and hips to help keep him comfortable as Steve licked and nipped at his neck and shoulders from behind. When Steve finally pushed inside him, it felt so overwhelmingly good for the both of them that they both gasped in surprise. Bucky couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes as his emotions welled and spilled in desire. Their bodies easily fell into the rhythm of sex as they gasped and groaned in pleasure. Bucky may not have had the stamina he did months prior, but his body was still excited to welcome the alpha inside of him.

With Bucky’s permission, the alpha knotted him from behind and held him close after their sweaty tousle. He maneuvered the blankets over them and held the exhausted omega lovingly. Bucky dozed off quickly from there, with the feel of Steve’s knot still fit securely inside. The blonde closed his eyes and kissed at the back of his neck, all while his right hand stroked Bucky’s stomach where the pup was moving quietly inside.

***

_2 days later_

It started in the middle of the night when Bucky woke up to tight pain and then a warm trickle in his boxers. He groaned as he swung himself out of bed and went to the bathroom blearily. He wasn’t sure if it was just more slick running down his thighs, but it felt abnormal.

When he turned on the light and pulled down his sweats, he nearly jumped out of his skin. There was a thick fluid with smears of blood staining his skin.

“Ma!!” he yelled from the downstairs bathroom. Nerves were wracking his brain as he climbed up the stairs and went to his parents’ room, feeling like a kid as he urged his mother awake.

“Ma, I’m bleedin down there.” There was obvious fear laced in his voice that made both Winifred and George start. His mother immediately got out of bed and led him to their en suite bathroom and shut the door.

“James, are you in pain?” She asked as she looked over her son. Bucky hurriedly explained his situation while Winifred had him turn around. She asked for permission, waiting for her son’s consent before she carefully pulled down his sweats to see the liquid running down the back of his thighs.

“Oh honey, it’s ok. I think your mucus plug broke.” Winifred stood and soothed back his hair. “It’s very normal as the baby gets lower.” She reached past her son to grab a towel and ran it under warm water.

“Is the baby coming?” he asked fearfully.

“Hm, I’m not sure.” She handed the warm wash cloth to Bucky, who immediately took it and maneuvered himself to clean the back of his legs. Some omegas lost their mucus plug days before birth; for others, only hours.

“Are you cramping?” Winifred asked.

Bucky nodded, having thought the cramp he was experiencing was a precursor to diarrhea or more of the Braxton-Hicks. He didn’t feel it now, but he felt a different type of soreness and pressure in his body. Winifred and George helped their son go back downstairs where Winifred sat with him on his bed. George made sure that the hospital bag was ready to go by the door just in case this was the real deal.  

Bucky was able to eventually fall back asleep, but he was awoken again an hour later when a strong cramp pushed him awake. He moaned pitifully, awakening his mother who had been sleeping propped up beside him. She turned and rubbed his back as he groaned low in his voice. It subsided and Winifred immediately timed the contraction and looked at the clock.

“You might have Braxton-Hicks contractions, or this might be the real deal. I already texted Sarah so she knows what’s going on.” She rubbed at her son’s back in soothing strokes.

Bucky nodded miserably.

Twelve minutes later he was hit with another contraction that was just as strong. Bucky groaned and rocked as the waves of pain hit him harder, causing him to clench his teeth and groan in agony as the contraction reached its peak and then tapered off.

Becca came down the stairs smelling of fear, “Bucky, are you okay? Mom?”

“It’s too early, mom. She’s not supposed to come yet.” Bucky whimpered.

“The pup will come whenever she pleases. Becca, get your father, please. We’re going to need to take your brother to the hospital and I need you to watch your sisters.”

“Hell no! I’m coming with you guys!”

“Rebecca, get your father. Now!”

Becca exited from the room and went upstairs to retrieve George. Although Becca was frustrated that she couldn’t go with, she understood that she needed to watch her still sleeping sisters and take care of them while her parents were out. She hugged and kissed her brother, trying not let her fear seep in.

“You got this, Brother.” She whispered.

Bucky was ushered out of the house by his parents and into the van. While shuffling from the house to the vehicle, the omega stopped as his water broke and stained his sweatpants.

” _Fuck_!” he gasped.

“It’s okay! Let’s just get to the hospital.” Winifred encouraged him into the van, sitting in the backseat with him as George drove them down the street in a flurry. Becca watched them go with nervous dread tingling in her stomach.

*

The alpha received the text at 4am from Natasha that Bucky was at the hospital in labor. He didn’t waste time in jumping out of bed and changing into more decent sweats as he descended the stairs of his house. He almost forgot his shoes in his haste to get out to the Volkswagen.

Rushing into the hospital, it was easy for him to scent Bucky’s distress in the air at the labor and delivery ward. He stood outside the door as he called the nurse’s desk and told them he was the father of Bucky’s pup before they admitted him in to see the omega. He walked with set purpose to reach the omega and was met at the door by Natasha.

She bared her teeth to him, “He is fucking miserable in there and you better do all you can to make him feel at least marginally better. He’s been asking for you. Don’t screw it up.”

The alpha found himself a little scared of the woman’s 5’7 frame, but he nodded obediently and was led into the room where Bucky was laying down on a bed, hooked up to all types of wires and looking exhausted and sick.

“Steve?”

“Hey, Buck.” The alpha came in the room with the heavy stares of Winifred, Natasha, and his own mother.

The omega was cringing in pain as another contraction wracked his body. The blonde rushed beside him as Bucky reached out his hand to grasp Steve’s. He brought the alpha’s wrist towards his nose and scented him, trying to inhale the feelings of protection and love that were pouring off of his best friend.

As the contraction dissipated, the blonde wiped the tears from Bucky’s eyes. “Hey, I’m here. I’m so sorry, Buck.”

“This fucking sucks, Stevie.”

“I can imagine…what can I do to help?”

“Just stay with him and keep calm.” Sarah instructed. “He needs calm, reassuring scents. He’s dilated to a 7 so we still have a little ways to go.”

Steve understood his role and over the next few hours, he stayed by Bucky’s side and assisted him in his breathing. The omega was given an epidural and even though it took some of the edge off, it didn’t hinder the intensity of his contractions as he got closer and closer to the big moment. Winifred, Sarah, and Natasha were in and out of the room, but the blonde alpha refused to leave the omega’s side as he kissed the side of his head, rubbed at his shoulders and upper back, and rooted him on.

It went on for so long that Bucky felt at a loss for time. All he knew was pain, the anchoring aroma of Steve, and the scent of the hospital room. He hissed and groaned as medical professionals came in and out of the room to check on him constantly and monitor the baby’s heartbeat. She was 2 weeks early, but the doctors so far hadn’t detected anything wrong. She would be born premature, so more caution was being given as they assessed Bucky and weighted his options. Due to his progression in labor, the doctor wanted to try a natural birth since he was dilating at an appropriate rate.

When the doctor deemed that it was safe and time to do so, Bucky was ready to push and have the whole ordeal over with. Steve stood at his side with Winifred on the other when his time came to take action.

*

Bucky had never been so mentally and physically exhausted before in his life. The labor had been horrifying until he was graced with the epidural that made everything better, though it still didn’t erase the pain and grueling work of the labor and subsequent birth. Steve’s scent had been in one saving grace throughout the torment.

 He was lying back on the bed, breathing in deep breaths to calm his sweating, overexerted body as the doctors and nurses cleaned the baby. He could hear the pup wailing, but it was tuned out as he watched some of the nurses clean the afterbirth and blood from his body. He tried to ignore the snipping sounds from the doctor still between his legs who was patching him up from a natural birth that although wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, had caused him to rip in places he didn’t want to think about. Steve was smoothing back his hair, whispering soft praises. The alpha was in slight shock over witnessing the whole birth, but he didn’t leave.

Across the room, Sarah was looking after the pup, watching and ensuring her fellow coworkers were handling the tiny pup with care. They were looking her over for any serious issues since her birth had come sooner than expected.

Winifred was on Bucky’s other side, watching the medical team in nervousness as they attended to both her son and the newborn.

It was done.

The whole pregnancy ordeal was over.

Bucky closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the staff moving about and the soft whimpers of the pup as the nurses checked her over. It was an out of body experience to feel this type of bone-deep exhaustion that he wondered if he was dreaming or dying. He could hear from his monitor that his heartbeat was level with his breathing, though he still felt a pull and ache from deep in his chest.

The newborn’s whimpers began to taper off as a different sound caught Bucky’s attention. Soft hiccups echoed from the side of the room, causing one of the nurses to coo back in adoration at the high pitched sound.

Bucky’s heart began to beat faster as he opened his eyes and looked blearily in her direction. The newborn was still hiccupping as she tried to catch her breath, sounding surprised by the sounds she was making as she cried in-between.

 He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he called out in a shaky voice, “Can I see her?”

Steve looked at Bucky and then up to the medical team.

The nurse looked over to Bucky with a soft smile as she finished wrapping the tiny human up in a blanket. She cradled the newborn and walked towards the bed, holding the pup in plain view for Bucky to see.

As to be expected from any new life, she was small, wrinkly and pink. She was incredibly small and fragile (the doctor said she weight a good 6 lbs, 1 oz.), but she held her eyes blearily open in the bright light, dark blue eyes searching as her whole body shook with hiccups.

“Would you like to hold her?” The nurse asked tentatively.

The omega hadn’t realized he had been nodding until they brought her close to him. He instinctively reached out for her, taking her in his arms and holding her close as the pull in his chest lightened. Winifred looked up to Steve in nervous concern as they watched the scene unfold.

The connection was immediate as the pup nestled in, searching for skin that Bucky instinctively pulled down the gown from his neck, exposing some of his chest as he held her up to scent her and allow her to softly scent him and press against his warm, familiar smell.

“Bucky, she’s-“ Steve couldn’t finish the sentence as his emotions welled up.

Bucky couldn’t stop the tears from his eyes, emotion overwhelming him and shattering everything he thought he knew and felt before. The newborn had thick, soft brown hair that was all _Bucky_. Her eyes were the same color as Bucky’s mom’s, and her face looked so much like Becca and Anna that all Bucky could think was that he had somehow made a child that was all _his_ , and not Rumlow.

A few of the nurses were glancing to one another nervously, but Sarah was smiling from the corner as she understood the feelings going on in Bucky’s head. She approached Winifred and pulled her aside so that the omega could bond with the child.

“This isn’t good, Sarah. When the social worker gets here, it’s going to make it harder.” Winifred whispered worriedly.

Sarah just shook her head with a knowing smile, “It’s too late, Win. They’re already bonding.  I’ve seen this happen before; it’s meant to be.”

Winifred looked a nervous wreck as she fumbled with her hands, trying to cross her arms but too nerve wracked to know what to do with herself. “We have no baby things, no crib, no _diapers._ ”

“We will make do.” Sarah smiled softly. “For now, I think it’s important that your son and his daughter have their moment.” Sarah gave Winifred a tight hug before leaving the room swiftly to join Natasha outside.

Winifred looked over to Steve, her son and her _granddaughter_ , feeling a mix of emotions. One of the nurses had helped Bucky to pull his gown down more to allow for skin-to-skin contact as they laid the newborn against his chest where his heartbeat was strong. Bucky was smoothing down her back as he gazed at her in awe, enraptured and frightened by this tiny human

“Mom, I can’t let her go… Bucky whispered as Winifred approached the bed.

“I know, James. She was meant for you, wasn’t she?”

Bucky nodded as more tears glazed his eyes. “I’m scared, mom. I’m really, really fucking terrified that I’m making a big mistake by keeping her…but I love her and she’s all mine, mom. I can feel it. I know I will regret it if I let her go.”

Steve had moved away, wiping at his eyes and the intense intimacy of the moment. Bucky looked over to him, reaching for Steve’s hand. The alpha obliged, squeezing back as he understood what Bucky was silently asking. He would still sign the birth certificate; he would still be her father. He _was_ a father now.

Winifred felt joy tugging at her heart of the memory of when she first held James in her arms and marveled at her first born son. The feeling was overpowering and all-consuming to protect and love her child for the rest of her life. Looking at Bucky now, she could see herself in her son as he held his daughter and experienced the same powerful draw.

“It’s okay, James. Don’t be scared. She’s your daughter…you will always do what is best for her.” She kissed his sweaty forehead and gazed at the tiny newborn hiccuping against his bare chest.

“Does she have a name?” Steve asked as he looked down to the small newborn and began to wrap his head around her being his daughter. He felt the love and protective bond rushing through him firmly, solidifying their tie as he reached out and traced his fingers over her warm back. She squirmed towards his touch.

Bucky gazed down at her. “I think it’ll be Emma. Emma Grace Barnes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have never had kids but I was with my sister when she was going through labor with my niece, so I’m basing some of Bucky’s experiences from that.  
> So Bucky’s plans are obviously going to change. ;)  
> Thanks for being patient with updates. Work is going well, but I am very busy! Ahh! It was hard to choose a name that Bucky could give his daughter and I looked in the comics and eventually settled on Emma (not Emma Frost..though she's one of my favorites). Hopefully that's okay.  
> Also, Happy Birthday Sebastian Stan! I got to meet him at WW Sac and he is the absolute sweetest! X3  
> Thank you for all of the love and support! You guys rock!
> 
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Natasha who broke the ice. “Congratulations on being a daddy.” She brought the fellow alpha in for a hug. In his ear, she whispered threateningly, “ _I hope you two idiots know what the fuck you’re doing_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Please be sure to read the tags for warnings. There will be some significant time jumps as the story progresses. Angst ahoy!

She was small, wrinkly, and _frightening_ for Bucky to behold. He was so filled with love for her that it scared the shit out of him that he could experience this intensity for another human being. He had signed the birth certificate with her official name on the document, and without even having to ask, Steve signed the father’s side. Sarah Rogers didn’t seem especially pleased with her son taking on such a big role, but he was an adult and had been adamant when she questioned him about it. It was an argument that they took outside of the room and the omega was glad to distance himself from it, though he did feel guilty for pulling the alpha into the whole mess.

It was a strange concept for Bucky to wrap his head around calling himself a father, but it felt right to him the more he held his daughter and grew attached to her. He was overly emotional due to both fatigue and hormones, but he didn’t care when he kept his focus on her. Later on, the emotions that were caused from seeing Steve hold Emma for the first time were devastating to Bucky’s heart and he swore that he had never cried so much in the past 24 hours than he did in his whole life. The hospital staff had Steve take off his shirt so that the newborn could have skin-on-skin contact with her ‘father’ and bond with his scent. It didn’t escape Bucky’s notice when some of the nurses glanced at Steve’s muscled torso in appreciation as one of the nurses placed Emma on Steve’s chest. The alpha sat back against the chair and observed her carefully as she wiggled in his arms and took in his scent.

“Will she accept me?” Steve asked nervously in a hushed voice.

The nurse nodded as she observed the pair. If a family member (in this case, Steve) offered a warm, protective scent for the newborn, then the child would begin to build a bond the more and more they had contact with their family. The alpha had the added bonus of already smelling slightly like Bucky. Steve was not as soft or as familiar as the omega, but Emma would still be able to cling to the warm protective alpha scent as it mixed with Bucky’s nearby smell. The omega shifted and made room on his new wider bed for Steve to get up and join him. It had been a few hours since he had given birth and within that time frame they relocated him into a quiet room where they could recover.

Bucky was still bone-deep exhausted from lack of sleep and the ordeal he had just been through, but he was on the road to recovery and Emma had been cleared of any birth defects or abnormalities. She would have to stay in the hospital for the next two days so that they could closely monitor her breathing and development, as well as Bucky’s.

“Jesus, she looks just like you.” Steve murmured as he sat beside Bucky, their legs pressed close together. Bucky hummed in response.

 “Thank you for being here. I know this isn’t what you initially signed up for, but it means a lot to me.” Bucky rested his head on Steve’s shoulder, feeling very much ready for a nap and not willing to give up the alpha’s shielding aroma.

“It’s a lot to take in.” the alpha agreed as they both observed Emma’s sleeping form. “I’m still comprehending that you’re going to be raising her now. That’s a lifelong commitment, Buck. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“I am.” Bucky replied without hesitation, “I’ll make everything work…somehow. I’m still scared that I’m making a mistake, but I’m more afraid of losing her. I know it’s not going to be a walk in the park, but nothing worth having ever is.”

Steve was silent for a moment and thought about Bucky’s future at MIT. He worried that the omega would drop out of school, but the moment wasn’t right to bring up the harsh reality of life. Bucky would have to make sacrifices and life was only about to get tougher for him. This didn’t even begin to encompass how the omega would break the news to their friends; he couldn’t hide a child for the rest of his life. He wondered if the brunette was thinking clearly, but he didn’t want to doubt his best friend or the love he had for his daughter.  

“I think she’s recognized you as a safe place. Even if you’re not her biological father, you are still family.” Bucky indicated with a tilt of the head where Emma was sleeping peacefully. “You’re not obligated to us, but I will still be that annoying person who sends you pics of their spawn if you allow me.”

“Y’know, I _did_ help you through your pregnancy heat. That definitely counts for something” Steve winked.

Bucky smacked his arm lightly and groaned, “I don’t even want to know what my parts look like right now. Sex is the farthest thing from my mind.” He ran his hand over his stomach, which was a lot less hard and big as it had been hours before. It felt deflated, swollen, and sore.

“You look lovely, Buck.” Steve glanced up at the omega.

Bucky smiled softly and closed his eyes, resting against Steve as he held Emma and bonded with the tiny newborn. After some time, Emma began to wiggle and cry, to which Steve nervously handed her back to Bucky and watched as the omega tried to figure out what was wrong with the pup to make her so frustrated. He looked like a frightened, frantic new parent.

Steve went out in the hall to find a nurse for help and was greeted by George and Bucky’s three sisters waiting patiently in the hall and talking with Natasha and Sarah in hushed tones. The alpha blushed as he was still shirtless.

“Can’t keep your clothes on around each other, huh?” Becca smirked.

Steve would’ve had a smart remark back, but hearing Emma’s cries grow louder behind him prompted Sarah to grab a fellow nurse and move back into the room to assist Bucky. The blonde was at a loss and felt out of water when he was left with the Barnes family and Natasha looking to him expectantly.

It was Natasha who broke the ice. “Congratulations on being a daddy.” She brought the fellow alpha in for a hug. In his ear, she whispered threateningly, “ _I hope you two idiots know what the fuck you’re doing_.”

“Thanks…” Steve patted her back as he accepted the hug and took in her words cautiously. He honestly wasn’t sure what he was doing. “I’m a little in shock, still.”

Joy looked especially excited, “So you and Bucky are going to keep her? Dad said we’re taking her home in a few days.” She was excited to be an aunt and to no longer be the runt of the family.

“Yes, we are.” George confirmed. He looked up to Steve tiredly, “Win is calling a few local stores in town to get things for the pup. The hospital will send us home with a care package, but this was obviously...very unexpected.”

“I’m happy to help with whatever I can.” Steve offered.

“Same here.” Natasha joined in.

George nodded appreciatively, but he still looked concerned and stressed, “There’s a lot that James will need to take into consideration now. We’ll need to know if he and Emma are going to be staying with us or if he’s heading back down to Cambridge with her for school.” He shook his head, “I don’t see how the second option will be possible with a newborn.”

The younger alpha crossed his arms over his naked chest and frowned, “We should maybe give him a little more time first. He’s too exhausted right now.”

George sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I know. We’re all feeling the stress. You should get some rest, Steve. You’ve been here all day.”

The blonde alpha shook his head and assured the others he was fine. He noticed that Emma’s cries had completely stopped so he excused himself back into Bucky’s room to check on the omega.

The brunette was propped up in bed with Emma suckling hungrily against his chest. The omega’s face was bright red with mortification as he looked up at Steve.

“Don’t you dare say a fucking word.” Bucky growled.

Steve shook his head, feeling at a very _loss_ for words. He approached carefully, trying to evaluate whether or not Bucky wanted him in the room. The brunette omega shifted his attention back to his daughter, feigning indifference as Steve came to sit at the edge of the bed.

One of the nurses was glancing thoughtfully from the corner, “It is rare for a male omega to be able to nurse, but it seems your partner has the genes to do so. Your little one has a voracious appetite.” Steve couldn’t help his cheeks from turning a slight hint of pink from her comment.

“What does it feel like?” the alpha questioned.

The brunette glared and smacked Steve on the arm with a _‘what do you think’_ look. The blonde blushed harder as he chuckled, “I mean, I think I kind of know-“ Bucky smacked him again, this time with more force.

“You’re an ass.” Bucky muttered.

“Hey, you shouldn’t cuss in front of your daughter.” Steve supplied playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

“She’s a Barnes. We’re born cussing like sailors.” The omega stated, but his words died away as he focused on Steve. He looked towards him seriously, almost fearfully, “So you’re really all in for this? Holidays, birthdays...everything?”

The alpha nodded, “Of course I’m 100% in. We’re family, Buck. We always have been.” He met Bucky’s eyes, “I know this might not change your feelings on having a serious relationship with me and I don’t want you to feel obligated to that. I still respect your choice to wait. But I want to be there to the best of my ability. ‘Til the end of the line, remember?”

“You’re a sap.” Bucky’s eyes were tearing up again. Steve leaned forward and kissed Bucky on the forehead. He maneuvered back to the couch and put his long sleeve t-shirt back on. The omega permitted him to sit beside him while he nursed his daughter and tried not to wince and groan as the suckling both alleviated the pain in his chest and made him more uncomfortable with the newness of being a parent.

They were given some quiet time to bond until after Emma was done feeding and the nurse showed the brunette how to burp her. Eventually the whole Barnes family (save for Winifred) and Natasha came back into the room where each of Bucky’s sisters could hold their new niece. George was more concerned with checking over his son and making sure he was of sane mind.

“Your mom is out fetching a few things for the baby. She’ll be by later this afternoon and she promised she’d be bringing you a cheeseburger.”

Bucky brightened, “Real food?”

George nodded and looked on as Natasha, Steve, and the three girls interacted with the newborn. The elder alpha turned his attention back to his son, “I know you’re going to want to do everything for your child, but know that your mother and I are here for you. Being a single parent is going to be difficult and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t ask us for help. Your sisters are excited about Emma and want to assist, too. We’re here for you.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“You need to consider your future even more now that you’re a father.” George put his hand over his son’s and looked to him with worry, “I understand why you chose to keep her and I’m proud to be a grand-dad, but now you’re going to have to consider your options carefully for your future; for _her_ future.” 

Bucky felt the flitter of dread as he thought of his dream of graduating from MIT and becoming an engineer flying out of the window. He swallowed roughly, hoping that he could somehow make everything work despite the adversities raising his daughter would present. “I’m going to do my best.”

“That’s the best any parent can do.” George nodded, though the lines of worry in his older face didn’t soften until Anna came over and offered the bundled newborn to her grandfather. George took her in his arms and felt the weight of Bucky’s decision draw heavy on his shoulders while happiness picked up the beat of his heart. Even though he didn’t want to become a grand-dad under such circumstances, life had chosen for them and he would do his best to protect his son and his new granddaughter.

*

The next day the social worker assured Bucky over and over that his decision to keep the baby was valid and to not worry about letting down any prospective adoptive parents. She was kind-hearted and direct when she explained that the best situation for the newborn was to be with a loving family, which was something Bucky could provide Emma with in spades. Bucky ended up signing the release of contract form, detailing that he had decided to be the primary guardian and hold custody of the child. The social worker still let him know that if at any time he was overwhelmed, he could call one of their family outreach counsellors for advice and help as he ventured into the world of parenting.

It had been over 24 hours since the omega had given birth and his body was on the mend, albeit still tender. He was being checked on every other hour to ensure that he wasn’t bleeding too heavily and that the clotted blood he was still expelling was within light and normal range. He was given a postpartum recovery room where Steve could sleep on a foldout bed next to him and Emma could sleep in her own little newborn bed. It was quiet and cozy in the room, especially after all the excitement when Natasha, Bucky’s sisters and father came into the room to spend more time with Emma.

They had visitors in and out throughout the day, including Sarah and her boyfriend, and Clint and Natasha. The pair took turns holding her and getting used to the fact that one of their closest friends was now a father. Bucky had asked Clint and Nat to be the godparents, to which the pair accepted with great excitement.

“She’s smaller than I thought she’d be.” Clint mentioned as he held Bucky’s daughter, who was wrapped up like a cozy baby burrito.

“She came a little early so the doctor said she’d missed the advantage on packing on a few extra pounds.” The omega replied. “But she eats a lot so maybe she’ll catch up.”

“Have you thought about how you’re going to break the news to the group? They’re wondering if you’re going to the New Year’s festivities tonight, which is an obvious no.” Natasha supplied. “It’s a little suspicious to them that Steve is home and none of us have seen the two of you.”

Bucky grumbled that it was no one’s business, but then again, these were his friends. “I’ll tell them soon. I feel guilty for lying to everyone but if it helps them to understand that initially I was going to put her up for adoption, then maybe they’ll get it.”

“We will, Bucky. But there are going to be questions about her dad. I know you want to pose Steve as the father, but the timeline doesn’t match up.” She glanced over to the blonde alpha, “Steve, we all know that you and Sharon were dating and if you truly want to say you’re the father, you’re going to deal with some backlash since it’ll make you a cheater.”

The blonde alpha frowned.

“And some people are pretty smart.” Clint added. “Most of us know that shit went down between you and Brock, Bucky.”

“There’s a real likelihood that you’ll be facing Brock with this, as well. He may not be in the country, but I’m sure he’s going to find out when people talk.” The redhead added. “You need to be prepared if he starts nosing around to make contact with you.”

“I’m not ready to talk about this.” Bucky was frowning, feeling deeply bothered by the truth of Clint and Natasha’s words.

“Every action has a consequence, James. You can’t run away from this now that you’ve decided to keep her.” Natasha was always the first one to get directly to the point, “I don’t want you to be surprised by the possible effects of this.”

Bucky looked down at his lap, looking troubled. He knew he couldn’t run away from his problems, but he didn’t feel ready to face reality just yet. He didn’t want to own up to the fact that Steve would be going back to the UK in a week or that it was inevitable that he would be telling his friends and dealing with their reactions alone.

Sensing the change in the mood of the room, Clint piped up. “Whatever happens, you know that Nat and I are on your side. You just had a baby for godsakes. You deserve some down time to collect your thoughts. We’re just offering you some things to consider in the meantime.”

The omega smiled weakly. He understood that his friends were looking out for him, but it didn’t make him feel any less overwhelmed by all of the consequences he was about to face. He looked down at his daughter and focused on her sleeping form in Clint’s arms to ground him.

*

In the evening when Emma was taken to get a few tests and blood drawn, Steve helped Bucky to walk into the adjoining bathroom to shower and freshen up. It was a humbling experience for the omega as he felt especially weak and vulnerable in this stage of his recovery. Steve helped him to undress from his loose t-shirt and sweatpants, and maneuver him to sit on the shower bench. The alpha undressed as well, setting both of their clothes off to the side as he turned on the water and began to clinically soap the both of them up.

The shower was intimate in a way that Bucky had never experienced before. Steve was so very careful and reverent as he washed the dried blood and grime from the parts the nurses couldn’t reach on the omega’s sensitive body. The omega rested his head on the front of Steve’s chest as he cleaned his hair carefully and also made good to avoid the stitches near Bucky’s privates. Bucky didn’t want to look down at his naked body and see all of the odd changes that had occurred, starting with his swollen nipples to his deflated-feeling stomach. Steve made no comment and instead focused on helping the omega to relax. 

When they were done cleaning off, Steve was just as careful to dry off the omega and help him apply the healing salve between his legs where they had to pull Emma from him.

After the alpha dressed Bucky and led him back to bed, he changed into fresh sweatpants and a hoodie that Sarah had brought him. It was December 31st and the brunette encouraged Steve to go celebrate New Year’s in Times Square with their friends, but Steve refused and made sure to watch TV with the omega in bed, the two resting and in-between naps until Emma was brought back into the room, wailing and fussing about in hunger. The omega groaned as his chest was already sore, but the lactation nurse assisted him in finding a comfortable position, as well as providing a few extra tips to make everything more bearable.

They spent their New Years sitting side by side, Bucky still feeding a grumpy Emma as the ball dropped and Steve leaned in to kiss him chastely.

Steve smirked at him while Bucky looked thoughtful for a moment, a mischievous glint catching his eyes. “You know…one day I’m going to tell her that the reason I went into early labor with her was because you boned me hard and good.”

The alpha blushed, “That’ll scar her!”

“I’m supposed to scar her for life, she’s my kid.” The omega yawned. He was exhausted and with a glance down, noticed Emma was already asleep with Bucky’s nipple still in her mouth. Steve carefully picked up the newborn and placed her in her bed and dimmed down the lights. The window outside showed the fireworks in the sky over the city. The omega hummed in contentment as Steve sat beside him, draping an arm over his shoulders as Bucky looked at the brightly lit night sky.

*

In the few shorts days that Bucky was in the hospital, Winifred had managed to purchase some starter items for Emma and her son for their arrival home. Sarah pitched in to purchase a new basinet with bedding, sheets, and clothes to help out as well, and assisted Winifred, George, and the girls in moving the TV and couch to the front room and converting the TV room into a temporary makeshift bedroom until they knew what Bucky wanted to do. It took effort between the two families to coordinate and get things ready.

The omega was released from the hospital with a standing appointment to come in once a week every Wednesday for the next 3 weeks so that they could monitor his stitches and Emma’s health. The first thing Bucky did when he got home was cry when he saw all of the items they had prepared for him. His sisters made him a small ‘welcome home’ sign and excitedly gathered around to look at the baby. The first day home was tender as the three girls tip-toed around the house and were conscientious of the new life, while also having trouble with staying away from their brother and their niece.

The first night that Bucky was home was filled with restless sleep as Emma cried every two hours to be fed, changed, or held. The infant had no set schedule and Bucky was at the mercy of trying to figure out what she wanted. Steve had asked the brunette if he wanted him there, but the omega had been adamant that the blonde needed to go get some rest and take time to be with his mom.

The whole week was much the same as Bucky struggled to figure out what his daughter’s cues were for what she wanted or needed. Fatherhood didn’t come easy and even though the omega was relieved to see his family and friends coming by to check on him, all he really wanted was to rest. His body was still recovering from the birthing ordeal so it was fair for anyone to assume that Bucky wasn’t feeling 100% like himself.

Even Rhodey came by to visit Bucky and meet Emma. He brought over a pack of newborn diapers and a blanket from the Rhodes family to gift to her.

“I’m going to take a wild guess here and assume you’re not coming back down to Cambridge with me tomorrow night.” Rhodey raised a brow as he glanced across the couch to his fellow roommate.

“You guessed right.” Bucky sighed. “I’m totally fucked, Rhodes.”

The beta shook his head with a smile “Maybe…but you popped out a good one, Barnes.” He looked down in his arms at Bucky’s daughter and couldn’t help but feel excited about the prospects of watching her grow up and supporting his friend. Rhodey was a natural with kids, which was something the omega envied as he watched Emma calm down in Rhodes’s scent.

“I engineered a baby.” Bucky snorted.

“That has got to count for something.” He looked seriously to the other man, “I know this was a tough decision and I give you kudos for taking this on. This isn’t something just anyone could do. You’re going to be a great dad.”

The omega gave a self-depreciating smile. “I’m probably making a terrible decision, but I couldn’t go through with the adoption.”

“If people give you problems, screw ‘em. You have to take life by the reins. I think Tony will also understand and respect your decision, even if his feelings are different than yours. Tony and I will be okay if you plan on staying up here, though it will be a lot less exciting without your snarky ass to keep us in line.”

“We all know that you’re the true peacekeeper, Rhodey.”

“You give me too much credit.” The beta winked.

*

As the date for Steve’s flight back to London grew nearer, the omega felt an impending sense of dread and déjà vu that was similar to their separation from July. It was worse this time around as the exhaustion of caring for a newborn and the raging effort of adjusting hormones caused his emotions to go awry. The alpha had been checking in on him every day and made sure to hang out with Bucky and Emma, but the omega had not initiated any intimate touches as he tried to reserve himself from the impending heartache of another separation.

Emma was almost two weeks old and in those days, Bucky has focused resolutely on a pattern of sleep, care for the newborn, eat, and weigh in his options as his parents badgered him (encouragingly) to consider his next steps. The blonde alpha and the few friends that visited were a welcome respite from the routine, but the omega was having trouble with coming to terms with what was about to happen. He knew that he wouldn’t be going back down to Cambridge as it wasn’t fair or plausible for him to bring a tiny newborn with him and try to find and afford child care (there was no way he was dumping Emma on his parents). He also knew that attending MIT in the spring was not a possibility as the heavy workload and units would alone take up all of his time and energy.

It was one of the most difficult decisions of his life to call his college advisor and speak to them about what he could do to try to stay on the path of getting his degree in mechanical engineering. It wouldn’t be possible for him to go back in the spring, so he made the choice to continue taking part-time units online with a local community college that could transfer later down the line when he was ready to either return to MIT (if he was still eligible and able to) or another university in New York. He would have no problem getting recommendations as he was a straight-A student and had proved that he could be in for the long haul from the work he put out in the Fall. He would make parenthood a full time endeavor and in the windows of time he had to himself, he would dedicate to academics. The end of the phone call left Bucky in a melancholy mood, knowing that it wasn’t exactly how he had envisioned his future, but he was still being proactive.

The first outing with Steve sans Emma was a little stressful as Bucky dressed in an older pair of his maternity jeans (the panel still helped since his stomach was still slightly swollen) and a hoodie. The alpha picked him up in the Volkswagen and drove them down to their favorite diner. With the miraculous use of a breast pump, Bucky was able to leave Emma alone for the first time with her grandparents without worrying his daughter would go immediately hungry for the foreseeable next hour and a half. Nonetheless, it was odd to be venturing out without her.

They sat in their usual booth to the near back of the diner where they had visited so many times throughout their younger years. They both ordered big, greasy cheeseburgers with fries and a milkshakes (reminiscent to the victory meal Winifred had brought her son after the birth). It was all so familiar that Bucky could almost envision them as scrappy pre-teens, coming here with their homework as they ate onion rings and studied for tests. Now, the circumstances were far different.

There were no excited laughs or milkshakes coming out of Steve’s nose. Everything felt as white and grey as the wintery scene outside.

“So you leave tomorrow morning.” Bucky broke the ice. “We’re here all over again, just like we were back in July.”

The alpha sighed, “Yeah, but this is very different from last time.”

“Tell me about it.” Bucky mumbled.

“So…what happens next?” Steve ventured carefully.

The omega took a sip of his chocolate milkshake before taking a deep breath and laying it out for Steve. “I’m not going back to MIT. I’m going to stay with my parents, raise Emma, and take some online courses.”

The alpha’s face fell. “Oh, Bucky-“

“It’s fine. I knew that I couldn’t keep her and MIT both.” The omega continued. “It’s what needs to happen and I’ll make it work. You know I will. And as far as university goes, I still want you to go and live it up for me. I’ve been doing some thinking and my mind hasn’t changed about re-evaluating our relationship in another few years, if that’s still something you want. Right now my focus is on school and on Emma, so I’m sorry. I really can’t put my neck out for anything serious with you, especially now. You’re my best friend, Stevie, and I need you to be just that as I figure things out.”

“I understand.” Steve answered, crestfallen. “You’ve had to grow up first in all of this and I’m sorry for that.”

“Please, don’t be. I chose Emma knowing full well what the consequences would be.”

Before Steve could reply, the waitress arrived with their burgers. Bucky wasted no time in picking up his bacon cheeseburger to begin chowing down to fill up the time. Steve did the same with the weight of unsaid words hanging between them. The alpha wondered why it had to be that they were forced to grow up so much in the past year. Everything they had planned for their lives had completely derailed and left them at odds and ends to pick up the pieces. He had to remind himself regularly they were both only 18 with their whole lives ahead of them, even though they both felt like old souls.

Steve was still family to Bucky, in the rawest sense of the word. The blonde alpha would be there as much as he could, but he had his own future to focus on and prepare for. His upcoming spring semester would find him working hard for the spring art show where he would be making his debut as an up and coming painter. Many of his works were abstract human anatomy; many of the subjects his friends and Bucky.

Life was never fair, nor did it apologize for what it served you. They spent their time eating and reminiscing about their younger years while feeling far too old for their 18-year old frames. When they were finished with lunch, Steve drove them back to the Barnes’ house where he was able to spend some quiet time with the omega and Emma. It was quiet in the home since the girls were all back in school and George was off to work in the city.

The pair didn’t have a lot to say as they focused on enjoying each other’s company. In the evening Steve would be going out to eat with his mom and spending time with her before Natasha drove him to the airport at 3 in the morning for a 4:30am flight out of the country.

The day had a somber feel to it and as the evening approached and his time with Bucky dried up, the blonde made sure to leave a chaste kiss on Bucky’s lips, hoping the omega would respond with more passion. The brunette made good on his word and hugged Steve back, withdrawing the lust from their departure as he tried to keep his mind focused on letting go of the alpha with as little drama as possible. His feelings had changed and Steve was required to respect that. Bucky didn’t want to allow his hormones to influence Steve, so saying goodbye on his doorstep and watching the blonde disappear across the street with a glance back every few seconds was the best he could do to distance himself.

The omega had changed. His feelings for Steve hadn’t gone away, but he had mentally prepared himself to file them away in the far back of his mind where they would be unable to disrupt him from what he truly needed to concentrate on now. He silently ached for the physical comfort of his best friend, but he knew from their conversation all the way back in November that he wasn’t being fair in leading Steve on. It was time that they truly live their own lives and pursue their dreams. For Bucky, his heart was still set on engineering school. He would have to take some side steps to get there, but he was adamant on not giving up.

In the late evening after the brunette had rocked Emma and put her back to bed, he went out to the backyard and sat along the porch to think. He stared up at the bright, snowy night sky and hoped that he had made the right decision.  

*

It was the beginning of February and Bucky was in need of diapers and other supplies at the local grocery store. Becca was happy to tag along with her older brother as he bundled Emma in a koala wrap at the front of his chest where she could sleep soundly; warm and content in the smell of her dad. He was tired of being trapped in the house all day with Emma and his mother, so a small outing such as the store was a heavenly reprieve from the mundane. He felt a little lame that the highlight of his whole day would be the grocery store of all places.

They walked to the local grocery store in the cold sludge of the melting snow. It was warmer outside than it had been in weeks, and the air was fresh and crisp. At the store the omega wandered around the baby aisle as he inspected diapers and different toys for his daughter, comparing brands and again wondering why this was so fascinating to him.

“Bucky?”

The omega froze.

It was Sharon, who was followed closely by Wanda. The two girls approached Bucky, both their eyes widening as they glanced from Bucky’s surprised face to the small baby wrapped around sleepily at his front. Wanda’s was a face of shock, while Sharon approached as if Bucky would spook like a deer and run.

“Oh my god. Is that…yours?” Sharon inquired. She was in complete disbelief as she edged nearer to get a look at the infant. Bucky stood still and felt dread wash over him. He knew that if he lied now, he would be digging a deeper hole.

“Y-yeah…she is.” Bucky motioned down to his daughter. He set down the pack of diapers so that with two hands he could pull the wrap back from her face to show the two women.

Wanda gasped. “Oh my god, _Bucky_! You _were_ pregnant! Why didn’t you tell us?!”

The omega felt himself grow hot with embarrassment as he beheld Wanda’s face filled with hurt. He had always had a good relationship with the fellow omega, and suddenly felt like an asshole for lying to her this whole time. “Yeah…I wasn’t planning on keeping her, but things sort of worked out differently.”

Sharon was still eyeing him. “So you lied to us. Why?”

“I guess I wasn’t ready to be a part of the daily gossip.” Bucky snapped back. The blond omega’s eyebrows rose at the comment. Bucky knew that he was being defensive in the face of Steve’s ex-girlfriend, but he didn’t feel prepared to be dealing with this so soon.

Wanda tried to make peace between the two of them. “She’s beautiful, Bucky. What’s her name? When was she born?”

“Emma. She was born December 30th.” The brunette explained as Wanda smiled down at the infant. He could tell she was still in shock over the situation, but she was taking it better than Sharon, who was still standing a few steps away and with a calculating look.

“When were you going to tell us? You know I would’ve loved to help you throw a baby shower. Does Steve know? Who else knows?” Wanda asked.

Bucky was thrown off by her enthusiasm for a moment, still feeling wary of Sharon observing the whole scene. “Just my family, Nat, and Clint. Steve knows, too. He was there when I had her. I was going to tell you guys possibly at the end of this month when I was healed a little better.”

Sharon was quick to ask the next question, “Who’s the father?”

Both Wanda and Sharon were staring intently at him. It was now or never.

“It’s Steve.” Bucky replied. He was proud that his face didn’t shake.

Sharon seemed visibly unsettled, eyes narrowing as she calculated the months in her head. Bucky knew that they were probably stinking up the aisle with their confrontation, but he felt cornered and trapped. This was all happening way sooner than he was ready for.

“Bullshit.” Sharon hissed.

“I could show you the birth certificate.” The male omega countered.

“Steve wouldn’t have cheated on me.” Sharon accused upfront. All of a sudden, Wanda was also adding up the pieces and her eyes widened in shock. She looked between the two omegas and went to stand next to Sharon to tug on her arm for them to leave before things escalated. Emma was already wiggling in her baby wrap, sensing her father’s uneasiness.

“I’m sorry, Sharon.” Bucky offered. At this point, Becca reappeared with the shopping cart and looked just as surprised to see the other two omegas with her brother. She was about to greet them when she sensed the hostile feelings between Sharon and Bucky.

“C’mon Bucky, let’s get out of here.” Becca stated coldly as her protective bond to her brother and her niece flared.

Wanda looked apologetically between all the parties involved, feeling just as trapped and uncomfortable as Becca. “I’ll call you, Bucky. I’m happy I got to see you.” She pulled on Sharon’s arm to help redirect the blonde omega away from confrontation. The blonde omega nearly snarled as she turned away and exited the aisle with Wanda on her heels.

When the women had left, Bucky let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding in. Becca helped to haul in the diapers and other baby items into the cart before turning to her brother, “Is everything okay?”

The brunette nodded, “I think so…Just…fuck, I wasn’t ready for that.”

“Well, it’s over now. I’m sorry it wasn’t on your terms, but information is going to spread fast. You better prepare yourself.”

Bucky felt the tendrils of panic at the pit of his stomach.

“Does this mean that I can post cute pictures of my niece on my social media yet?” Becca asked to lighten the mood.

The omega huffed a laugh, but it was forced as he tried to get his next game plan in order.

*

Bucky realized that there were a few rules to becoming a new parent that he had to follow quite strictly:

#1. Do not nurse in public as the amount of stares, sneers, or come-ons would increase as nosy people felt it their business to invade his space and parenting style.

#2. Do not bounce Emma on his knee for at least 20 minutes after feeding as it would result in ruining your favorite band T-shirt with projectile vomit.

#3. Do not allow the baby to smell his fear, for she will surely feed off of it and cry more.

#4. When the baby is taking a nap, you are also taking a nap. That might be the only sleep you get.

#5. Do not cry when Emma is crying.

Parenthood was by no means a walk in the park, but he was adapting as quickly as he could as he grew to understand his daughter’s needs and what her different cries and body language meant.

It was late in the night when Bucky was trying to soothe a wailing Emma. He had changed her diaper, fed her, and yet still she was not appeased by his attention. He rocked her carefully from side to side as he paced the room back and forth, trying to sing a lullaby to lull her to sleep. It was past ten minutes and he still had no luck. She had been having colic since she was three weeks old and trips to the doctor determined that a lot of it was gas and a fussy baby.

Tears of frustration and lack of sleep began to sting his eyes, but he would not give in as he continued his attempts to calm his daughter. He was still pacing back and forth when Winifred entered the room, looking sleep rumpled as she approached her son and sat down on the bed.

“Has she had a bowel movement yet?” She yawned.

“Yes, at 10pm already.” Bucky grumbled, wondering briefly when his life came to revolve around feedings and what times his daughter needed her diaper changed.

Winifred sighed wistfully, “When your father and I first brought you home, you used to cry and wail at all hours of the day. You would scream bloody murder and we would scramble to try and figure out what it was that you needed. It was awful.” She smiled softly with a light chuckle, “Those were precious years, but goodness am I glad that they’re over.”

Bucky snorted. Emma was slowly being reduced to slight whimpers until eventually she let out a few burps that released the uncomfortable air from her stomach. She seemed to calm after that, leaving both Bucky and Winifred to sigh in relief.

“One of the scariest things in the world is being a new parent. I think you’re doing beautifully, James.”

“I think being a parent is being scared shitless and exhausted 80% of the time.” Bucky lowered Emma back down into her baby bed and ran his hand over her soft tufts of brown hair. She wiggled and squirmed to get comfortable before yawning and falling back to sleep.

Bucky collapsed next to his mother with a groan. “I have a paper due tomorrow night and I’m only halfway done with it.”

“Remember, all you need to do is ask.” Winifred offered. “I feel spoiled having all my kids _and_ my grandbaby under one roof. I can watch her while you get your online courses sorted.”

The omega hummed in reply, sleep already taking over him. His mother helped Bucky to reposition himself on the foldout bed, making sure he was comfortable as she draped a heavy quilt over him while he slept.

*

Breaking the news to his friends about Emma was not easy, but it was a relief to get it out in the open once he did. Natasha and Wanda threw him a birthday party/baby shower at Nat’s house, to where invitations were sent out to their closest friends that served as an announcement of Emma’s existence.

The brunette was surprised to find that most of his friends attended and were supportive of his newfound trek down fatherhood, though they were sad he had left MIT because of it. Of course, many were still upset or sad that Bucky hadn’t felt comfortable enough to break the news to them when he was still pregnant (or tell the truth back in November), but they respected his choice when he explained that initially he was going to put her up for adoption.

The question on who sired Emma came up from time to time and everyone was surprised by Steve’s name drop. The omega knew without a doubt that it made some of them uncomfortable since it wasn’t hard to put two and two together to insinuate that Steve had cheated on Sharon. The omega tried to play it off as a heat of the moment thing and still felt like shit for lying again, but he felt it necessary as he still tried to protect the truth of Emma’s biological father hidden.

After the excitement of the party, Bucky made good to drink his first beer on the couch with Nat. He had pumped earlier, so Emma would be fine taking some from the bottle in order to allow him this one extravagance. Clint was feeding her with said bottle, cooing over her as she stared at him in confused wonder.

“Well, all the laundry had been aired, James. How does it feel?” Nat asked as she clunk her beer alongside Bucky’s.

“It feels better, though I hope I haven’t thrown Steve under the bus with any unnecessary drama.”

Nat snorted, “Steve and Sharon have been broken up for a long time. Who cares? Steve is on board with the plan so you’re all covered. We’ve made it this far and we’ve all survived, right?”

“Yeah.” Bucky was already feeling buzzed from the beer and couldn’t help but to laugh at himself and his low tolerance. “I’m glad. Everyone seemed cool with it and Emma is now a part of the pack.”

“She is our little _mishka_.” Nat replied fondly.

*

In April, the one thing Bucky had been truly running from for the past few months came to a head.

It had been an unidentified number that Bucky had answered on his cell phone and the voice on the other line caused him to immediately pause from the laundry he was folding.

“James? It’s me. Please don’t hang up.”

It was Brock.

Bucky felt choked up for a moment, closing his eyes as he tried to halt his mind from racing thoughts to focus on breathing instead. Emma was fast asleep in her bassinette and it was just him and his mother home for the afternoon. Winifred was out attending to the garden, which was a blessing so that she couldn’t smell his fight or flight kicking in. He hadn’t spoken to Brock since their disastrous night; hadn’t seen him since a glimpse at their walk on graduation.

He let out a breath. “What do you want, Rumlow?”

“I think you know why I’m calling you from halfway around the world, even though I know you never want to talk to me again.” Brock stated, sounding somewhat relieved that Bucky was talking to him. The omega wanted to hang up, but he felt frozen where he was. “So I will cut to the chase…is she mine?”

Bucky felt tears welling in his eyes, his throat tightening. He took in a deep breath, “She’s Steve’s.”

There was a low, frustrated sound on the other line. “Sweetheart, we know that can’t be true. I have my sources and I know the timeline. If she’s my kid, I have a right to know.”

“Fuck you, Rumlow.” Bucky growled in warning.

“If she’s my daughter, I want to see her. C’mon man, it’s fucked up. You can hate my guts, but if that kid has half of my DNA, then I have a right to have a relationship with her.” Brock spat. “I’ve seen pictures and there ain’t any of blonde haired angelic Rogers in that pup.”

“She doesn’t belong to you, asshole. She’s _my_ daughter.” Bucky felt his ears burning and mind begin to race. How did Brock find pictures of Emma? He had blocked the alpha from all of his social media accounts.

“Please reconsider, Barnes. I don’t want this to get ugly.” Rumlow was threatening and the whole situation was causing Bucky’s blood to boil.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve to make demands after you _forced_ me into a knotting I didn’t consent to!” There were hot tears of anger falling from the omega’s cheek as he shook, “I will report you and land your ass in jail!”

Rumlow had the audacity to chuckle on the other line. Before he could reply, Bucky hung up and threw his cell phone on the ground, nearly shattering it. He collapsed on to the couch and let his head fall into his hands, his shoulders hunched as he tried to catch his breath.

He knew he should’ve reported Rumlow a year ago when the incident happened, but he was only 18 at the time and didn’t want to face the fact that he had been raped by someone whom he thought he could trust. He didn’t want to admit to the fact that he was now among a wide statistic of omegas who were assaulted in their youth.

While he felt his heart beating fiercely in his ears, he was knocked from his anxiety as he heard Emma’s wailing from the other room. He wiped the tears from his eyes and went to his daughter who was wiggling in her crib and reaching her hands up to him desperately. There was no doubt in his mind that she sensed his fright. He switched into parent mode as he hushed his daughter and picked her up, rocking her pacifyingly for both her sake and his own.

As she calmed down, he looked at her closely and searched her features for signs of Rumlow. The 3 ½ month old looked back up at him with wide blue eyes that were all Bucky’s mom’s. Her nose and face shape was similar to his sisters’, but he did notice that her ears (which somewhat stuck out) were all Rumlow, as was her chin. Brock’s features were undeniably there if he looked for them and he worried that those features would continue to grow more noticeable as she aged.

He kissed Emma on the forehead and closed his eyes tightly as he rocked her. He tried to erase Rumlow from the back of his mind.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!  
> I apologize that this was a little delayed, but my cat had to go to an emergency vet this week so it was a stressful few days. He’s doing really well now with his medicine, but he had me in for quite the scare!  
> I hope this chapter didn’t feel rushed since there was a lot I wanted to put in to set up for the next chapter where there will be a considerable time jump forward. I’m excited since I’m getting the story to where I want it before shit hits the fans. Next chapter there will be a three year push forward. ;) This chapter is somewhat short (~17 pages), but I felt the things discussed here were necessary before we time jump.  
> Mishka loosely means bear cub in Russian.  
> Thank you for all of the love, feedback, and support. <3 You all rock!!  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be sure to read the tags for warnings. We are doing a major time hop! Warnings especially for some major heartbreak…the angst is back! I sincerely apologize if this chapter’s events even rattle some negative feelings, but I have the storyline played out in my mind and there is going to be some rough times, but it will play out. For the next few chapters, I apologize.  
> Thank you Lanya-Celebrian for beta-ing!

_3 ½ years later- Bucky, 23 & Emma, 3 ½, Steve 22. _

_June._

“We’re going to be late!” Winifred was yelling at the top of her lungs for her family to haul their asses down the stairs and get ready to go to Anna’s high school graduation. Becca was already downstairs with her boyfriend, Jacob, whom Bucky guessed was another flavor of the month for Becca, who was never without a date. This time around, it was an aspiring novelist she had picked up at a coffee house.

Since Becca’s move out to college three years ago, Bucky and Emma now occupied both Bucky’s room and Becca’s old room. Anna had decided to move to the downstairs ‘bedroom’ that the Barnes had converted initially for their son.

 The brunette omega was finishing the bottom braid of Emma’s long wavy chestnut hair, making sure ever strand was in place as he tied it off on the bottom and clipped in the sunflower she had picked out.

“Nana is going to lose her voice again.” Emma pointed out as another bark for the Barnes to line up downstairs echoed to their room.

Bucky snorted. “Nana can hold her horses.” He looked over his daughter and ensured that she was all set to go; her sandals strapped on, her face clean on maple syrup, and the sunscreen lotion applied on her bare arms. He gave her the green light and she raced out of her room to meet with her aunts downstairs.

The omega took pause as he finished tying his own shoes and took a moment to overlook his appearance in the mirror. He had grown out his brunette hair to the point where it was well past his chin. He tied it back into a loose bun to show off the shaved undersides that gave him a more punk-rock appearance.

Over the past 3 ½ years, Bucky had worked hard both mentally and physically to improve himself and the life of his daughter. He had started with academics where he had finished all of his general education requirements at a local community college (that offered many of the courses online) before transferring over to the Polytechnic School of Engineering at New York University. He took classes at night and online so that during the day he could primarily be there for his daughter, and had set it up to where his fall (and final) semester would include a good internship with an engineering firm in the city.

Emma was growing up to be a lot like her father; she was inquisitive and enjoyed helping Bucky or her grandmother with daily tasks around the house that required some form of tinkering. Gardening with Winifred or being out in the garage, handing Bucky some of the tools he needed to complete projects were a few of her favorite past times.

Physically, Bucky was in the best shape he could be after he decided to take control of his life and make time again to lift weights and go boxing with his dad twice a week. While Winifred accompanied her granddaughter to a toddler’s gymnastics course, Bucky made it his mission to get back into shape and relieve his stress through means of physical exertion. His muscles had once again hardened and grown, and in the mirror he would almost be unable to tell that he had carried his daughter save for the light stretch marks on his abdomen and inner thighs.

His life was busy, to say the least. If he wasn’t attending to his daughter and spending time teaching and loving her, he was busy with the demands of school or taking some ‘me’ time to work out or take a breather. His social life was limited, but he had expected that when he had signed up for college while still being a full-time parent. He regularly saw Natasha and Clint, and at times his old roommates when Rhodey and Tony were in town. Wanda had also become a more visible presence in his life as she doted on Emma and accompanied the pair to parks and museums. Bucky was always appreciative of the second set of helping hands when chasing after his kid.

As far as his love life went, Bucky wasn’t seriously dating anyone and honestly didn’t have the time, though he had hooked up again with Castle and trusted the man as a reliable booty call. He would never forget the first frantic call from Frank when the man first asked if Emma was his. Of course it was a hard no, and Frank was cool with Bucky being a parent. It had been slightly awkward at first to be making out with someone who wasn’t Steve (and it had been a while…), but Bucky found that having sex with Frank whenever he was in town was slightly grounding as the man never made demands and was generally fun and satisfying in bed with the omega; he could meet Bucky’s physical strength and give it to him good and rough.

There was also a time more recently when Wanda invited Bucky to share her heat with her. It had been a pleasant surprise for the omega when he fell into bed with her at her bohemian Brooklyn apartment and enjoyed the satiating feel of her hands all over his body as he fucked her through her need. Having sex with another omega had always been a satiating experience for the brunette, and he trusted Wanda enough that after her heat was over, they continued to hook up from time to time when they were stressed and in need of release. They didn’t seriously date as the demands of both of their lives would make things way more complicated than they were ready for. For now, they had a good arrangement and an added bonus of Emma adoring Wanda (and vice-versa).

And then there was Steve…whom Bucky had not had sex with since a few days before Emma’s birth. The blonde alpha had been insanely busy with his schooling and budding artistic career. He had made a good name for himself as a painter and had even had a few successful shows in the London scene. Bucky was proud of him, but also a little envious as Steve spent his summers going to different parts of the world to study art history and grow his inspirations. He had traveled to Spain, Italy, France, and Germany with fellow artists and friends. Bucky knew he shouldn’t be as envious since his own life had been going pretty well (all things considering), but Steve was living the dream. He swapped out trips home to Brooklyn for international studies all over the world and the omega couldn’t blame him. At the very least, Steve sent postcards to Emma and tiny trinkets and gifts for the toddler.

They communicated from time to time, but it was significantly less than it had been before and the omega resigned himself in order to put emphasis and focus on his own career and triumphs versus staying stuck on Steve. Their ‘arrangement’ deal was coming up soon and he felt that the call to re-evaluate their lives and relationship was on the horizon. Steve was about to graduate from school and the omega would not be far behind as his internship in the fall would wrap up his bachelors and hopefully secure a good future for himself and for Emma. He was beginning to hope again that Steve would be in that plan and would relocate to New York where the art scene was just as predominant. He was optimistic and looking forward to what the implications would be when Steve graduated and moved back. He hadn’t seen the blonde in over two years, so it was about time the alpha got his ass back to his home state.

“Well don’t you look hot and snazzy.” Becca observed from the entrance of the room.

Bucky chuckled as he turned around, doing a little spin for her to take in his boot cut jeans and navy blue shirt that was clinging sinfully to his muscles. He would have been bashful, but he had worked damn hard on his body and wasn’t about to be self-conscious of his scarred left arm. “I try.” He shrugged.

“Just don’t steal my boyfriend.” Becca winked.

“No guarantees.” Bucky smirked as he followed her out and headed downstairs to join up with his family outside. Sarah Rogers was out with the camera, trying to pile all of the Barneses into one group shot with Anna in the middle, dressed in her cap and gown. After a few group photos, they piled into two vehicles. Bucky of course ended up in the van so that Emma could ride safety in her booster seat. Sarah sat beside the omega with a smile.

“Hi mamó!” Emma sing-songed as she looked across at her other ‘grandma’ and smiled toothily towards her. “How is daddy-Steve doing?”

Despite her reservations and concerns with Steve having signed the birth certificate and claiming to be Emma’s sired father, Sarah still filled the role as a second grandmother towards the brown-haired girl full heartedly. It made Bucky’s heart swell with love to watch Emma interact with her family members.

“He’s doing well. He’s finishing up a large painting for his show.” She scrolled on her phone and pulled up the image of large abstract figures in beautiful warm detailed colors. She showed it to Bucky and the toddler proudly. 

Bucky whistled low. “So that’s what has him so obsessed.”

“I like the red and the monsters.” Emma commented. She was typically a harsh critic and always voiced her opinions, even when they were unwarranted. (Like the time she asked Bucky why people were wearing their pajamas at the store…or that his butt looked too big in his skintight jeans).

“Steve is almost done with his senior show. He invited me, but I can’t make it.”

“I’ll be sure to enjoy the show for you.” Bucky grinned widely. Steve had invited the omega to his show and had paid for half of his plane ticket in order for him to fly out. The brunette was over the moon as June was fast approaching and he would be boarding the plane to London to see Steve and his works. It was all the omega could dream about since he purchased his ticket back in March (his parents also chipped in as a birthday _and_ Christmas present)

Sarah elbowed the tall and lean-muscled omega. “Oh, I’m sure you two will get into plenty of trouble.”

The brunette couldn’t wipe the smile from his face for the rest of the day, both because of his proud excitement over Anna’s graduation and his impending departure to London in a week. He had texted Steve a few times back and forth to be sure he was packing enough and asking where the blonde was going to take him in terms of touristy attractions.

He wouldn’t deny that he also thought of the welcome he would receive. At night when he was alone in the hot shower, he touched himself as he thought of the blonde alpha making out with him at the airport. He imagined being too hot and bothered to wait, that he would drag Steve to the nearest cleaning closet and fuck his brains out in a flurry of passion and need.

Even if that wasn’t exactly what would happen, he could dream, right?

*

The morning of his departure for London, Bucky kissed Emma over and over on the face, causing the sleepy little girl to squeal with giggles as she swatted her dad away with a wide toothy smile.

“Be good, my little mishka. No house parties and don’t be a fuss-ball for nana and papa.” He stated. He kissed her forehead tenderly and brought her in for a hug. “I’ll see you in five days, okay?”

“Okay. Be good, dad. Say hi to daddy for me and give him my picture.” Emma kissed her dad on the cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too, sweet pea.” Bucky gave her one last hug before wishing his parents goodbye and getting into the car with Natasha. Bucky’s parents would be watching Emma for the next few days and had hinted that they would be taking her and her aunts to the beach and a few other recreational spots. Emma would be well distracted from missing her dad too much. Bucky, on the other hand, worried that he would grow separation anxiety. He had never left her for so long of a time.

The drive over to the airport left Bucky feeling giddy with nerves. Natasha drove him up to the departure lane and made sure to walk out and help him with his duffle bag as he double checked for his wallet and phone.

“Don’t forget these.” Natasha remarked as she held up a box of alpha XL condoms.

Bucky blushed and snatched the box and stuffed it into his duffle bag. “I have no shame.”

“And you shouldn’t. You two idiots have only been waiting for almost 4 years for this moment.” Natasha brought Bucky in for a quick hug. “I hope you both have fun. I’ll see you in a few days?”

“Yep, bright and early.”

Natasha kissed Bucky’s cheek and slapped his ass. “You look sinfully good, James. Steve won’t be able to keep his hands off your tight ass.”

Bucky waggled his eyebrows. “That’s the plan!”

“Go get ‘em.” Natasha encouraged, seeing Bucky off as he shouldered his backpack and picked up his duffle bag to enter check-in and begin his journey to the alpha. Bucky hadn’t been able to travel overseas before, so he was ecstatic to board the plane for the first time. He brought along one of his engineering books to get a head start on his summer course, so he set about reading, studying, and highlighting in-between bouts of sleep and a few movie breaks to get him through the seven hour flight.

He arrived in London around 4pm and was all nervous energy as the reality of seeing Steve set in. He wondered if he would still be attracted to the alpha’s scent. He wondered what Steve would look like in person. The alpha barely posted anything on social media and had switched his Facebook account into a public profile to promote his art. Bucky wasn’t sure what he would be faced with, but he began to imagine Steve with a beard or wearing his painting clothes.

He was towards the back of the plane and getting through customs took him some time before he was able to exit the gate. He had only brought two carry-ons so there was no need for him to waste time to pick up luggage. He found himself in the arrival area, looking around nervously as he scanned the room for the alpha.

“Bucky!”

The omega swung around to see the alpha fast approaching from the side. He had been sitting at the nearby café, drinking a coffee until he spotted the other man. The brunette’s smile brightened as he approached Steve, bringing him in for a tight hug.

“Jesus Rogers, I thought you were gonna leave me high and dry for a second.”

“Nah, not completely.” Steve squeezed him one last time and stepped away to get a good look at his friend. Bucky was staring at Steve, waiting for the inevitable kiss now that he had trekked the Atlantic Ocean to get here, but it didn’t come.

“Man, you stacked on the muscle, didn’t you?” the alpha nodded approvingly as he ran one hand over Bucky’s bicep, “You look great, Buck.”

The omega couldn’t help but to notice that in the last few years, Steve had packed on the muscles as well and had grown a few inches taller than Bucky. He was literally a brickhouse with an insane shoulder to waist ratio that did obscene things to the tight plain white t-shirt he was wearing underneath. He was beautiful and all Bucky wanted to do was climb him like a tree and never let go. He didn’t want to ruin the build-up though in case Steve had things planned for them. He could wait until the evening to keep his hands to himself; unless Steve initiated a quick handjob or something in-between.

“How was your flight?” Steve asked as he lifted Bucky’s duffle bag easily. The omega walked alongside him, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

“Studied for a class. It was boring, mostly, but I’m happy to be with you here now.”

“I’m happy you’re here, too. I think you’re going to love London.” Steve brightened.

“Are you ready for your show tonight?” the omega questioned. It would be the grand opening for Steve’s spring art show tonight and from what details he had gathered, it was supposedly going to be a big affair. There would be two other artists showing alongside Steve; one of them apparently very noteworthy in the art scene.

“As I can be.” Steve shrugged. “Say, do you maybe want to go grab a beer before we head over to my place?”

“That sounds perfect.” Bucky agreed, though all he really wanted was for Steve to kiss him senseless and confess how much he had missed him. He wasn’t sure if he was reading the situation wrong or if time had just made them awkward over time, but the ease and finesse that usually came with being around the alpha was stilted. The omega and the alpha had kept up some form of communication when they could, but they were out of touch with each other’s lives

*

They went to a local pub and chatted about school and Emma before they were served some onion rings that Bucky embarrassingly scarfed down in record time. Steve couldn’t help but to keep smiling towards him and tell him how happy he was to have his friend there with him to experience this milestone. He promised the omega that he had big news to share with him later on, and that

While Steve explained his life in London, Bucky realized that Steve’s fame in the art world had escaped him. The alpha had amassed a large following for his pieces, which he still spoke about quite humbly and brushed off the fact that he had made thousands of US dollars selling pieces in his last show. Things began to connect as Bucky thought of the iPad Steve had gifted Emma for her birthday.

The alpha was doing well for himself here and the thought that Steve might stay in London suddenly dawned on him. He contemplated bringing up the subject but didn’t want to put a damper on their night, nor did he want to jump to any conclusions. However, Bucky still found his thoughts lingering on the fact that Steve had built a whole life for himself in this country and the omega began to wonder if he fit into that picture.

They filled up most of their time discussions Steve’s artwork, stories about Emma, and Bucky’s progress towards attaining his degree while being a parent. What Bucky really wanted to discuss was their relationship, but as the omega tried to slip his hand across the table to place it over Steve’s, the alpha coughed and excused himself to the restroom, reluctant to return the intimate gesture.

The omega was perplexed by the odd behavior, but he wanted to stay steadfast in his hope. As they left the pub, the omega crowded him against the wall and leaned in close for a kiss. Steve chuckled at first until he realized where Bucky’s lips were headed. He pulled away when their lips met at the barest touch, his body language rigid.

“Steve?”

“Buck, we need to get home.” The alpha coughed again, trying to play off the awkwardness of the situation as Bucky retreated from the nervous stench of Steve’s scent. The omega felt a little self-conscious, wondering if he was jumping the gun here or assuming too much. He was confused, but followed along with the alpha, hoping the blonde would reassure him with a simple holding of hands or bump of the shoulder.

*

It was rolling into evening when Bucky and Steve stumbled home to the blonde’s nice flat in upper London. The omega didn’t even want to think about how much Steve had spent to afford his own living space in such a nice part of the city. He only felt a little self-conscious that he was pushing odd jobs here and there as a mechanic to earn extra wages for Emma while he learned on a scholarship and relied on welfare to fund Emma’s living needs. He had left those aspects out of their conversation out of his own insecurity.

He knew that Steve probably wouldn’t judge him, but the blonde’s at ease attitude about talking on money left Bucky slightly _ill_ at ease.

They entered the foray of the apartment and were setting Bucky’s things down when the omega heard someone clear their throat.

“So you must be Bucky.”

It was Peggy, looking well put-together with a tight pencil skirt and creamy blouse to go with her red heels. She was a dark haired knock-out with those full lips and accented voice that would have any person falling to their knees. The omega openly stared at her, feeling a little confused by her presence.

Steve chuckled, “Sorry we’re late, Peg. I wanted to show him some of downtown.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Bucky extended his hand, trying to be suave but feeling like an awkward teenager in front of the beautiful woman. Peggy took his offered hand with a firm shake.

“Peggy Carter. I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Barnes.”

“Mmm, and I've heard stories about you. Although, Steve has kept pictures of you under lock and key.” Bucky replied, meaning well and sincerely since Steve hadn’t shared a lot of details about his London friends or why Peggy was in _Steve’s_ apartment, looking like a straight 10.

Peggy smirked coyly. “Right. Well, let’s get acquainted then, shall we? Sam and I have dinner ready.” She glanced over to Steve meaningfully before turning away and walking down the hall towards the dining area.

 The brunette paused Steve before they entered, looking to him searchingly with confusion. “I thought it was just going to be you and me.”

“She's my roommate...we'll talk more inside.” Steve shrugged. He seemed a little bashful, which had Bucky wondering what was going on exactly or if he had missed some key details. He followed the blonde into the dining room where Sam and Peggy were already seated and serving out the dishes.

“Hey man, good to see you again.” Bucky greeted as he held his hand out for the darker haired beta. The beta reached out and shook it, but he didn’t seem to receive Bucky with the usual mirth Steve had described for his London best friend. Instead, he smiled politely with a quick “You too.” and sat back.

Bucky sat beside Steve and across from Sam, feeling uneasy as they began to eat.  He wasn’t sure if perhaps his brain was just in a fog due to the long flight or if he was completely missing some social cues, but everything suddenly felt artificial and wrong. He knew his gut well enough to know this wasn’t just paranoia. He had thought that he was going to have a nice dinner alone with the alpha before they carted off to the gallery opening, but apparently the plans had changed.

He turned his attention to eating the meal that Peggy and Sam had cooked. He wondered if they had wanted to meet Bucky, but they didn’t seem entirely engaged with him as he sat across from them and tried to read the situation. Whatever they were eating was fancy and something that seemed to have taken a lot of time and finesse to prepare.

“I’m used to just a good ‘ol greasy hamburger.” Bucky joked as he looked at the elegantly displayed food. “This looks great.”

“We try to make everything look a bit like a work of art here.” Peggy jested with a small smile.

“Well it’s working.” Bucky smiled back, but it didn’t quite feel right. “So do you all live here?”

Sam shook his head, “Nah, I just came over to even out the numbers tonight. That, and I can’t stay away from Peggy’s kitchen.” He glanced over to Steve, “So Steve tells us that you’re going to be an engineer?”

“Uh, yeah, actually. I’m not done with my degree yet, but hopefully by December. I’ve got an internship set up with SHIELD Inc. this fall, so I’m hoping that’ll line me up with a good job after.”

“That’s very admirable.” Peggy nodded. “They’re a big company. I’m sure you’ll fit in wonderfully.”

Bucky bit his lip and looked down at his food. He shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable, but it was easy for him to feel small in a room of well-traveled, well-spoken people who didn’t have to know the hardships of sacrificing a social life and so much more in order to stay afloat. He wanted to talk about Emma, but he didn’t want to blab on and on when the night was really about Steve and his accomplishments.

“Do you want some wine?” Sam asked as he uncorked the top of the cabernet sauvignon and poured himself a glass. Bucky and Steve both handed him their glasses. After they were filled, Sam reached for Peggy’s.

She covered her hand over the top and shook her head. “No thank you. I can’t drink, remember?”

Bucky was a little taken back by the odd interactions happening. “Why can’t you drink?”

“He hasn’t told you?” Peggy asked, surprised with a hint of accusation in her voice. Sam stilled and glared at the blonde alpha. Bucky immediately looked to Steve questioningly, feeling suddenly like a fish out of water. Steve cleared his throat, unsure of what to say as he didn’t meet Bucky’s eyes and instead kept them resolutely at the table.

There was something Steve wasn’t telling him.

Peggy reached across and took Steve’s hand to get him to look up. “We’re pregnant, Bucky. I’m about…11 weeks already is it? We found out not too long ago.”

The brunette wasn’t sure what to feel as he stared at their hands and the pieces began to fit together.

_Why Steve never kissed me._

_Why Steve didn’t hold my hand._

_Why Steve has been avoiding personal contact and dodging my questions._

He wasn’t prepared for this at all.

“Wow- That’s…that’s great.” Bucky heard himself saying, but it was as hollow as the pit of his stomach where his heart was slowly breaking. “Congratulations.”

This wasn’t in his plans.

“I was going to tell you, but it never seemed like the right moment. I didn't want to tell you over the phone- I was nervous...am nervous.” Steve offered up quickly as he looked over to the omega with concern. “I’ve been really busy with the show and now you’re here so I figured it would be great to tell you in person. I was planning on easing you into it, but we might as well get it out in the open.”

Bucky was still processing the fact that Steve and Peggy were together; and not just as in sex, but actually living _together_ and having a _child_ together. He wasn’t sure how to react other than to reach across and drain his glass of wine as quickly as he could to numb the panic that he had totally misinterpreted this whole trip and was now stuck in the hell of realizing he was too late.

Steve had moved on.

Steve was going to be a father, a _real_ father with a gorgeous woman in their successful, rich flat in London. Even though they didn’t have a white picket fence, they sure as hell fit the image.

Bucky reached across and grabbed the wine bottle as he fumbled for words, “I-wow. I’m really excited for you two. That’s great. We should toast-” His hands shook and as he tried to pour the wine bottle, he ended up dropping it on the table, shattering both his glass and getting red wine all over the beautiful white linen Peggy had set on the table.

“ _Fuck_!” Bucky reached back his hand where shards of his wine glass had hit.

“This was my grandmother’s linen!” Peggy exclaimed as she stood up and tried to run her napkin over her blouse where splatters of wine had stained her shirt and the tablecloth.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky gasped, feeling completely overwhelmed as he backed away with his bleeding hand.

Steve and Sam were frantically trying to move back the furniture and retrieve towels to clean the mess while Bucky held on to his bloody hand, feeling like he was in some sort of nightmare. From 0 to 100%, everything had completely gone to shit. Sam noticed the shocked omega and pulled him over to the kitchen sink where he ran the faucet and began to clean off the brunette’s red stained hand.

In a quiet whisper, he added, “You shouldn’t have come.”

It was such a jolt of spite that Bucky glared up at him, “He’s my best friend.”

“Yes, and his mate is pregnant and feeling threatened by you and whatever you had with him. Look, the guy is happy you’re here and if it wasn’t for how much he cared about you, I would beg you to leave. But this is his big night and any drama you were hoping to stir up ends here. Got it?” In the time that Sam had looked him in the eye and laid out the rules, he had patched up Bucky’s palm and turned off the water.

“Yeah...” the omega breathed out shakily, feeling very lost at the turn of events. He leaned up against the sink, trying to process what was happening as quickly as possible before he made another wrong move.

He couldn’t understand why Sam hated him so much, but he ventured to guess that it stemmed from Peggy and their lives in London. A pregnant person was not something to mess with and if Peggy had actually been against Bucky coming here, no wonder he was being met with hostility. It suddenly began to make sense why Steve had stalled them from coming home; it wasn’t because he wanted to show Bucky ‘the sights’, it had been because he was anxious about Bucky meeting his mate.

_Mate._

Bucky wanted to throw up.

Instead, he grabbed the nearest towel off of the kitchen counter and wet it so that he could attempt to rectify the situation. Once the table was cleaned off, Steve set to work with cleaning up the glass and bundling the linen to soak it in a cleaning agent that would dissolve the stains. Peggy was putting the plates and silverware back in the sink, leaving Bucky to grab his duffle bag and slink away to the restroom to change and catch a moment to himself.

Once in the safe haven of the bathroom, he felt his breathing growing fast again. He wanted desperately to call Natasha, but he didn’t have cell service in the UK (couldn’t afford it). He felt so angry with himself and with Steve for setting him up into this dreadful situation where both of Steve’s friends apparently hated him and the man he thought he would be engaging in passionate love-making was actually _mated_ and had a kid on the way.

He sunk down to sit on the closed toilet seat, running his uninjured hand over his face as if he were just drunk and trying to sober up from the hallucinations. Everything had gone to complete shit in the span of a few seconds, and knowing that he was unwelcome here just made everything all the more worse. He wanted to talk to Steve in private, but he knew it wouldn’t be well-received with the two betas watching them closely. Apparently he was some kind of homewrecker to them, which made him feel even more down in the dumps as he changed out of the outfit he had hoped would entice Steve.

He felt sick as he changed into a darker wash jean and pulled on a new deep burgundy shirt that he had thought would also seduce Steve, though now he felt more like a harlot in the wrong territory. He tried to freshen up and brush his teeth, though really he felt he needed a few shots of tequila. He exited after a few minutes to Peggy waiting outside the door.

“Are you okay?” she asked. "I'm so sorry that Steve didn't tell you...that wasn't right of him."

He nodded, “Yeah...I've just been thrown in for a loop. I’m sorry about the tablecloth, by the way. I can replace it or pay for any damages.”

“It was priceless.” She sighed and waved it off. “Come on, I’ll show you the guest room.” She turned sharply and began to lead him down an opposite hallway.

The guest room was furnished with a modern full-size bed and a matching black dresser and bedside table. Bucky set his duffle bag and backpack on the floor and turned back to her.

“Look, I’m really sorry if I ruined your night. Steve didn’t tell me that you guys were expecting.”

_He didn’t tell me that you were together._

“It wasn’t my intention to start things off on a wrong foot. I’m here to support my friend.” Bucky tried to clarify, although he knew that hadn’t been his initial plan from the start. Peggy’s face seemed to soften minutely.

“The hormones have me feeling all sorts of highs and lows.” Peggy sighed. “I don’t mean to be hostile, but you two have a lot of history together and Steve and I are just venturing into this parenthood business on shaky feet. We're surprised, but excited to have a little one. I don't want to do this alone...”

“I’m here to support Steve, I promise.” Bucky offered. It was hard to dislike Peggy when he saw the earnestness in her eyes and the slight terror that newly pregnant persons experienced. He understood her right to be fearful and apprehensive towards him, but it still hurt.

“We’re leaving in half an hour for the show. I’m sure that after the stress of tonight is over, we can get to know one another better. Steve cares very much about you and if you’re family to him, then you’re family to me” she was about to turn around and exit, but paused, “You better get dressed and ready to go. The limo will be here soon.”

“Limo?” Bucky faltered as she sauntered away. He viewed his clothes in the full length mirror and groaned since the clothes he was wearing _were_ his nice clothes. He wasn’t sure if this was a black-tie event, but he didn’t want to stand out. He went back to the main room a few minutes later to find Steve dressed in a nice charcoal suit. Sam was at least wearing dark slacks with a shirt and tie, but it was a helluva lot better than what Bucky was sporting.

“Hey, are you okay?” Steve asked. He looked nervous for the omega’s response.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I’m good. We ready to do this thing?” He was far from good, but he kept the mantra in his head that this was Steve’s night. Even though it was royally fucked up that Steve hadn’t prepared him for this, he wasn’t about to cause any issues on Steve’s gallery opening.

Steve’s face seemed to soften at Bucky’s apparent positive attitude and nodded, leading the three of them out to the foyer where Peggy was standing in a gorgeous backless ruby red dress. Steve offered her his arm and she took it with a coy smile that had Bucky feeling all sorts of jealousy and longing.

The venue for Steve’s art show was in an expensive area of London where many finely dressed artists and critics gathered in the modern, high ceiling room. Bucky’s breath was taken away as he looked over Steve’s pieces in awe. It almost took away from the pain of seeing the blonde interacting with Peggy; his eyes shining, smile wide as he kept his hand on her lower back protectively and moved about the room to speak to different people of interest.

It was almost half an hour until Steve finally made his way over to Bucky who was still looking at one of Steve’s smaller paintings. He was two champagnes in and the buzz was a welcome distraction from his grief.

“What do you think?” the blonde asked anxiously.

Bucky smiled softly, not wanting to ruin Steve’s special night by unloading his sorrow on him. “It’s great, Steve. You’ve done well.”

The blonde smiled, about to add more when Peggy came back over to usher him to a local curator. The alpha apologized profusely towards the omega, averted his attention to the important figure, and Bucky was again left by himself.

He waited for Steve to finish, hoping he could talk to Steve about more of his works or especially about what the hell was happening, but the blonde was heavily occupied as he moved about the room continuously and talked to other artists, friends, and critics. Bucky tried to hover nearby, feeling very much a fish out of water among a sea of finely dressed people. He wanted to show his support, but his friend was too occupied to give him full notice.

Feeling slightly defeated, the omega went around to view the other artwork and hear what the other two artists had to say as they gathered in small groups to explain their pieces. He caught sight of Sam, who was busy talking to his own group of friends and didn’t invite Bucky to join him.

After another hour of minimal human contact and plenty of champagne, Bucky began to wonder why he was even there if Steve was going to spend the whole night schmoozing with rich people. It was something he thought Steve was above doing, but apparently his time in art school had created the type of artist he and Steve used to laugh about. He knew Steve had worked really hard on the show and was working hard to win the interest of art critics and viewers, but he had barely a moment to spare with his actual friends.

Feeling frustrated, the brunette went outside in the crisp air and leaned up against the railing, eventually bumming a smoke from a hot girl who told him to come find her later. Even though he was dressed so casually, his alternative look fit in with the other tattooed and multi-colored haired individuals that were present. He was half-tempted to follow the girl and fuck her out of spite, but even his dick was completely uninterested in the proceedings.

He typically never smoked, but after having a shit day and some alcohol flowing in his system to numb the grief, he felt validated enough to light up.

Halfway through his calming cigarette, Steve found him.

“Why are you out here?” he paused when he noticed the cigarette in the omega’s hand. “Put that out. That's a terrible habit, Buck.”

Bucky shrugged and took another deep inhale of the cigarette. Steve didn’t seem impressed by the defiant move as Bucky blew it out in Steve’s direction.

“You missed my speech in there. Where were you?” the alpha asked with slight hurt and annoyance when he noted the empty champagne glass beside Bucky’s foot.

“You just had your speech?”

“Yes, about three minutes ago. Were you out here smoking the whole time? Jesus, Bucky, have you been drinking much?” the alpha noticed the watery look of the omega’s grey-blue eyes that spoke of the alcohol swimming through his veins.

The omega frowned deeply, feeling incredibly irritated that after hours of feeling overlooked at a show he flew out to see, and after everything he just went through at Steve’s flat, he was being accused of having some drinks. How the day had gone from good to progressively worse and worse was beyond Bucky, but he felt like he had already reached his all-time low in realizing he was an idiot who thought Steve could possibly want him or wait for him after all these years. Now, being badgered by the alpha only set out to make him feel more defensive and angry with the man he thought was his best friend; the man he thought was his soulmate.

He began to feel the sting of Natasha’s words: _Love is for children_.

“I’m an adult, Steve. I have a right to drink and smoke as I see fit.” He growled. “I’m sorry I missed your speech, but it would’ve been nice to have had some _warning_ beforehand. Or perhaps at least you could’ve checked in with me to give me a heads up.”

Steve looked taken aback, “Why are you upset? You knew this was a big night for me and that I would be busy with important potential buyers and clients. It's been a crazy night for both of us, but I need you sober. I thought you wanted to come.”

_I thought I was important!_

“You invited me to come! You paid for half of my ticket and I thought-“ Bucky dropped the cigarette and put it out, not trusting himself to speak when he was so loose-lipped. He knew that if he continued, things could only get uglier with the liquor egging him on. He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, trying to remember his mantra that this was Steve’s night and they would have the next few days to talk. He tried to erase the fresh memory of Steve gazing adoringly at his _mate_ and how well-off he was in his new, perfect life.

“You thought what, Bucky?” Steve asked. When Bucky shook his head again, Steve persisted more crossly, “Bucky, tell me what you thought.”

Steve should've felt ashamed for using an authoritative alpha voice, but he was frustrated with Bucky’s distant and odd demeanor. The demand from the alpha pinched a hard nerve in Bucky’s resolve and the dam finally broke.

“I thought we would be together! I thought you wanted me to come here so that we could- we could _finally_ be with each other.” Bucky spilled, feeling the sorrow and anger bubbling in his stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were in a serious relationship!? Why didn’t you tell me that Peggy is pregnant and that you’ve moved on from me!? Was it all a game for you to string me along so that you could rub this in my face? Have me come to London so that you could parade your perfect life in front of me?”

Steve looked around, noticing that a few people were taking notice of the scene unfolding. He felt embarrassed and irritated. “Bucky, you need to calm down.”

“No! Fuck you, Rogers! You were leading me on and now you’re dangling your perfect, cookie cutter fucking life in front of me! Go back and schmooze up with your rich friends. Climb your greasy pole to the top and enjoy the view.”  Bucky waved his hand for Steve to leave. “You win, Rogers. You’ve officially broken my heart and shit all over it.”

At this point, the alpha was furious. “You know, that’s rich coming from you when for all of those years _you_ lead _me_ on and kept telling me you didn’t want me and that I was supposed to wait for you. Life happens, Bucky! Peggy sure as hell doesn’t treat me like something put on the back-burner. And now we are going to bring a pup in this world, who will need both of their parents there to raise them together! She needs me and you can’t handle that I won’t drop everything to be with you anymore!”

The omega looked like he had been visibly slapped. He took a step away from Steve and the cruelty of his words.

“You think that I am just going to pause everything in my life until you’re ready, but you’re wrong. That’s fucked up to treat people that way. I’ve _changed_ , Bucky! I had to grow up!”

The alpha took in deep breaths, having released everything off of his chest. Bucky stared at Steve for a long moment, realizing that this was officially the end.

“You’re right, Steve. I am jealous that you got the perfect job, the perfect life, the perfect _family_.” He walked past Steve towards the street.

“Where are you going?” Steve demanded.

“Enjoy the view from the top, Steve. You deserve it.” Bucky shouted back as he stormed off.

The alpha didn’t make a move to chase after him. Frustrated, Steve moved back inside the building, away from the judging eyes of bystanders outside. He needed to cool off before he did anything more that he would regret. He knew Bucky's temper and stubbornness was only rivaled by his own, and that the omega more than likely needed time to sober up and cool his jets. Nevertheless, the exchange left Steve feeling bitter and annoyed.

*

Bucky couldn’t afford to waste money on a taxi, so he walked the long streets to get to Steve’s flat. He had been given a spare key to which he used to get inside and make his way to the guest room. He kept his head down, not wanting to look at all of the pictures of Steve and Peggy in perfect couple poses. He grabbed his backpack and his duffle bag and went to the kitchen where he left a post-it note with the spare key.

It was nearly 2 in the morning as Bucky hailed a cab and made his way back to the airport. It took some time and a lot of extra money that hurt Bucky to spend to adjust his flight schedule and take the quickest trip back to NYC. By 3:30am he was on the first flight home and did nothing but lay his head back, take two Ambien, and close his eyes.

*

Steve came home with a headache and a bone deep exhaustion that spread from his head to the tips of his toes and fingers. He knew he shouldn’t have yelled at Bucky or insulted the omega. He was horrified to reflect that he had even gone so far as to rub the fact that his child was going to have both parents present to raise them.

_Nice one, Rogers._

Peggy was yawning as she veered off towards their bedroom, asking Steve to bring her a glass of water while she got ready for bed.

The alpha scented the air and could faintly smell the cigarette smoke that had permeated Bucky’s clothes. He knew he should discuss their fight, but the omega was probably already asleep in bed. They needed the time to cool off and sober up.

He rustled about the kitchen when he noticed a yellow sticky note and the spare key resting on the counter.

**Steve,**

**Good luck with everything.**

**I’m sure you will be a great dad.**

**-Bucky**

Confused as to why the spare key was resting there, he made his way to the guest room to find no trace of Bucky occupying the room. All of his things were gone and Steve was hit with the fact that he had acted like a total jackass to the omega. He ran his hand down his face and tried to call Bucky, but it went straight to voicemail.

*

Nat got a call a little after 6am with Bucky’s name flashing on the screen. She was surprised to see it there and answered tiredly. “Hey, James?”

“Nat, I need you to pick me up at the airport.”

The alpha immediately sat up in her bed. “What’s going on?” She could sense the distress in Bucky’s voice and knew immediately that things weren’t right. He wasn’t supposed to be home for days, yet here he was.

“Shit went south, Nat. It went really, really fucking south. I’m sorry to ask this of you, but I have no money for a cab and I can’t face my family yet.”

“Which airport?” Natasha questioned.

“I’m at JFK.”

“I’ll be there within the hour, traffic permitting.”

*

Bucky waited outside in the crisp early air, itching for another cigarette as he tried to repress his anger and sorrow. The medicine to help him sleep was still flooding lightly through his system, so he had to try and stay alert as Natasha’s black car rolled into view. She got out as soon as she parked and saw Bucky, running to him to embrace him in a hug.

The omega immediately broke down and began to sob.

Natasha ushered him into the car and drove him straight to her apartment flat in Brooklyn where she made him hot tea and had him change into his sweats.

Bucky tried to keep his voice level as he relayed what had happened between himself and the alpha, but it was hard as the anger mixed heavily with grief. It was difficult as the words the blonde had spewed at him still stung with a rawness that left him devastated.

Instead of going home to his parents and Emma (he really wanted to see his daughter), Natasha convinced him to spend a few days with her and Clint to go to the beach and take some time to sort his thoughts. It wouldn’t be healthy for him to return to Emma when he was still in such a state of obvious heartbreak.

Bucky also handed Natasha his phone, where the red-haired alpha made sure to delete each of Steve’s voicemails and texts. On the first day of purging his life of the bad, Natasha took him to his phone provider where they changed his number (again). He hadn’t changed it since a few years ago when Brock had contacted him, so it felt right to change it again when he was now trying to rid himself of his fantasies about Steve. The redhead also made quick work to delete and block Steve from all of Bucky’s frequented social media accounts. Since the omega was all in on moving on from Steve, Nat was going to 100% support him.

It was a sad few days for Bucky as reality set in and he realized that the fantasy dream he had set up for himself to be a family with Steve was all a lie. It hit hardest as he cleaned out his backpack and found the drawing Emma had made of him, Steve, and the toddler. He ended up folding it and stuffing it back in his bag and out of his mind.

By the third day, the omega began to feel more like himself. It had settled in that he had no future with Steve other than their past childhood friendship. He wasn’t going to purposely hold himself back anymore in the hopes that the alpha would have him. Steve had grown up and moved on, and it was time for Bucky to do the same.

Feeling very open and vulnerable, Bucky ended up calling Frank and going out with the alpha to forget some of his woes. The two ended up fucking roughly at Frank’s apartment and very nearly broke the bed as needy Bucky begged for the dark haired alpha to give him everything he had.

Frank did and then some.

Even though the pleasure and the release had been greatly satisfying for the omega, it still crawled in him that deep down; Steve was in his own way gone from Bucky’s life. As he lay next to Castle, panting and sweating, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine his love for Steve disappearing like a flame that’s reached the end of the wick.

*

When Steve realized that Bucky was not coming back to his flat, he began to call around to the different nearby hotels to see if he had checked in to any of them. He felt ashamed for allowing his anger and frustrations to get the better of him, but the brunette had caused quite the scene at his gallery opening and now the news had spread of the scandalous fight. Although the partygoers didn’t know the exact reasoning for the fight (because they didn’t know Bucky), it had been disreputable enough to have a quarrel with an ex-lover out front of the gallery for all to see.

The alpha had woken up the next day with a massive headache accumulated from the stress of the whole situation. The alcohol hadn’t helped, either.

When trying to reach Bucky’s phone proved to be useless, he called the next closest person to the omega; Natasha.

She answered after three rings, “You fucked up, Rogers.” Was her greeting.

Steve now knew without a doubt that Bucky had spoken with her. He felt weary as he ran his hand down his face. He had already noticed that he had been blocked from all of Bucky’s social media and most recently, the omega’s phone number had been disconnected.

“Where is he, Natasha?” Steve asked frantically.

“You have a lot of nerve to be making demands after the shit you pulled. He’s safe with me, Steve. He’s already back in the states and I’m still trying to comprehend how you thought it would be a good idea to lay the truth on him once he was there. What kind of sadistic fuck have you turned into?” Natasha spat. “Any decent human being would’ve had the courtesy and the balls to explain their situation before dumping it all on someone after they’ve traveled hundreds of miles to see them.”

“Nat, I didn’t mean for it to end up this way. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone that Peg and I are expecting, or that I’m staying to live in London.”

“So you honestly thought it would be better to tell him once he was there? He was totally in the dark, Steve.”

“Look, I know I screwed up and I want to make it right! Can I please talk to him?”

“Make it _right_? How the hell do you think you can make any of this _right_? He loved you Steve, and I know you two don’t have the most functional of relationships, but what you did was low. _Really_ low. I’m still in shock that you think you can just talk to him and make it right again.” Natasha was fired up. She was appalled at Steve’s actions and the whole situation, as relayed to her by Bucky. She had always been friends with both of them, but she had to take Bucky’s side as the two had such a long and intimate history together. “What you said to him in your fight was a scumbag move.”

Steve thought back on his words and cringed. He had allowed his hot temper to get the better of him and had sunk low enough to criticize Bucky. He was ashamed of himself for having said such things to the omega when he had agreed to be a father figure towards Emma.

_Emma._

“I know what I said was awful, and I'm sorry. I’m really, truly sorry for not explaining my situation to him or to anyone before he came. I should’ve told him everything before he came, before he met with Peggy and Sam, but I got choked up.” Steve explained miserably. “I really thought we might have a future together one day, but our paths have changed. With Peggy's pregnancy-”

Natasha cut him off, “The fact that you didn’t have the balls to fess up and explain your situation from the start still boils under my skin. You did a really messed up thing to someone I love very dearly. I can’t easily forgive you for that, Steve, and you shouldn’t expect him to immediately turn around and forgive you either. He’s safe with me and life will go on.”

“Nat-“

“You dug your grave, Rogers; so lay in it.” Natasha hung up the phone and shoved it on the counter. She braced her arms against the sink and let her head hang down as she tried to catch her breath and calm her sizzling nerves of rage and remorse.

“Not good?” Clint asked carefully beside her as he approached his mate.

Natasha shook her head as a definite no.

“I heard some of it. I’m sorry, shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but I don’t want to believe this is happening.” Clint looked just as tired and upset as the alpha. Natasha straightened and faced the beta.

“They said terrible things to each other; awful things. I don’t see how this is repairable.” Natasha whispered, not wanting to raise her voice as Bucky was resting out on the couch.

“Maybe it’s not. Maybe Steve has changed too much...”

Natasha was chewing on her lip, trying to process her thoughts and regain her cool. The brunette omega wasn’t the only one in mourning as the schism of their friendship would be felt throughout the whole group. Steve without Bucky and vice versa wasn’t something the red haired alpha had prepared for. She had been just as naïve as Bucky into thinking that the alpha and the omega would be meeting in London to solidify their relationship and hopefully give a serious romance a go.

The red-head let out a deep sigh as she moved into Clint’s space, resting her head against his shoulder and the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar earthy scent. The beta wrapped his arms around his mate and kissed the top of her head.

“Life will go on, Nat. We’ll be okay.”

Natasha didn’t reply. She focused on grounding herself and leveling her emotions as she took solace in her mate. In the main room, Bucky lay on the bed and stared up at the white ceiling as he contemplated his new life without his best friend.

He closed his eyes and thought of the drawing Emma had made for Steve; it was of Bucky, the alpha, and Emma in stick figure form with some rudimentary trees, a sun, and grass colored in. It was by no means a masterpiece, but she had made it for Steve.

Bucky began to wonder if he had made the right decision in alluding to Emma that Steve was her dad. His mind began to wander on Emma’s biological dad; Brock. The last Bucky had heard from Rumlow, he had sent a letter to his house asking if Bucky was ready to talk. He had been sending a letter every 6 months, all the way from Italy where he was finishing his studies. Over the past few years, the threat of Brock forcing his way into Bucky and Emma’s lives had dwindled and instead, it was always the alpha asking if he could at least meet Emma or talk to her.

The omega knew he was making a terribly rash decision, but he decided to finally respond back.

*

 Bucky’s life after Steve went on as usual, though a lot of his positive optimism seemed to have dried up in the face of the cold reality of life. He focused solely on his summer course and his daughter. He took Emma with him to some of the different science museums as he sketched and did quick studies for his classes to keep his mind off of wandering towards Steve. Emma was content to tag along with her dad as he held her hand between the different exhibits. She took refuge in his calm voice as he explained to her in kid-terms the different things he was studying and why they were important. Even though Emma was too young to fully understand, the one-on-one time with her dad was everything to her.

When Emma asked about Steve, Bucky would merely smile sadly and tell her he lived too far away to talk to him. Eventually she stopped asking about Steve as every time his name was brought up the same despondency echoed in his eyes, followed by a weary press of his lips. She didn’t like the unhappy scent of her father, so she stopped asking all-together.

As August approached, Bucky prepared himself for his new internship. He thought about cutting his hair short again, but was against it in the end as he had grown fond of the length (and of Emma braiding and playing with it when she was bored).

In the beginning of August, Bucky was doing a few last shifts at a family friend’s garage for extra money when a familiar figure approached him. The omega nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned to face the man.

“I got your letter.”

He hadn’t seen him since high school graduation, but Brock Rumlow was still the perfect model of alpha power and strength. He stood a respectable distance away from the omega, and held up the drawing Emma had made initially for Steve.

“You didn’t have to fly all the way back to Brooklyn just to talk to me.” Bucky muttered. He was surprised to find that he wasn’t as frightened of Brock as he had been years ago. The omega knew that he could take on the alpha in a fight easily, which overpowered some of his old fears of being taken advantage of. He set his tools down and wiped his hands on a shop towel while he  faced the taller man.

“I was back in town anyways. My dad ain’t doing so well, so I’m here to help my family get things sorted before he passes.” Rumlow replied. He looked over Emma’s drawing and sighed, “I’ve stayed away from you, James, and I know you hate my guts, but if Emma is truly mine then I promise I’ll be a good father towards her. With my dad’s cancer...it has put things in perspective, y’know?”

The omega was still weary, but Brock had still stayed put in his spot and was giving Bucky the open invitation to run or make the first move.

His heart hurt to think of Emma never interacting with Steve again.

“You are her biological father.” Bucky replied as he leaned back on the workbench. “I wasn’t going to keep her, put my plans changed when she was born.”

“Is that why you never told me?”

“That, and you forced yourself on me, Brock. You fucked up and what you did was wrong and disgusting.”

“I’m sorry.” The alpha stated. “I know I did you wrong, but I want to make amends.”

“How?” Bucky asked coldly.

“Let me help you guys out. Let me be a father towards her. I’m buying a nice apartment in the city and I can send her to a decent school. She’s gotta be what now, 4?”

“She’s 3.” Bucky corrected with narrowed eyes. 

“Right. Listen James, I’m sorry. I’m really, truly sorry and I know I can’t make up for what happened in the past, but I wanna do right by you and by her.”

“If you think this is some way for you to atone for your sins and have any amount of control over my life or hers, you’re dead wrong. I contacted you because she has a right to know who her real father is. I will always have full custody of her and I refuse to leave her out of my sights with you. If you want to have any kind of a relationship with her, it will be on _my_ terms.  If you try to file any kind of legal shit for custody, I will charge you with the assault and rape that you committed when she was conceived. You understand?” Bucky bit back venomously.

Brock nodded, “Yeah, 100%.”

Bucky walked forward and shoved the dirtied shop rag into Brock’s hands. “You will start by buying her the most sparkly, ridiculously expensive red pair of shoes you can find. She’s in a Wizard of Oz phase right now.”

The alpha nodded, taking in Bucky’s words.

“And if you make _one_ mistake, even one _tiny_ screw-up, I’m out of this arrangement. I call the shots. Understood?”

“Understood, Barnes.” Brock nodded, though there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

Bucky glared at him, staring him in the eye, “Tomorrow morning I’m taking her down to Prospect Park to feed the ducks. Meet us there with your gift and your best behavior.”

The omega turned and walked away, back into the inside of the garage. Brock bit his lip and dropped the rag to the ground, wiping the grease off on his dark wash jeans. It was apparent that Bucky still didn’t trust him, but he was going to take what he could get.

*

At 9 o’clock, Bucky was sitting on the bench at the playground, watching Emma play excitedly with a few other children. Bucky frequented this park whenever he had an open morning to take her to see her friends. He had met a group of other parents and nannies who also brought their children to the same park.

Emma couldn’t go on the bigger equipment, but she was fine socializing with other kids on the smaller playground contraptions. He kept his eye on her, taking in this time until he scented the familiar cologne of Rumlow.

Brock stood next to the bench, searching the park for where his biological child was playing. Bucky sighed beside him, “Sit your ass down.”

The alpha did so at a respectable distance. Bucky nudged him and pointed to where Emma was excitedly playing tag with a few other pint sized kids her age. “She’s the one with the blue jean shorts and the Spiderman t-shirt.”

The alpha fixed his sight onto the child and watched as she hurriedly darted across the playground to avoid being tagged. She had dark brown hair that could’ve been from either of them, but her ears and her chin were all the alpha’s.

The bigger man seemed speechless as he watched her. It was one thing for him to be told he had a daughter; it was entirely another thing to actually see her for the first time in person.

“Jesus, she’s tall for her age.” Rumlow wasn’t choked up, but he was close to it. “My mom always said that we were all very tall for our age when we were kids.”

Bucky glanced at him to the side. “She also loves peas, which my family all absolutely hate. I’m guessing that’s from your side.”

Brock let out a broken laugh, overwhelmed.

By this point, Emma noticed the newcomer and wandered over to where her dad was sitting. She wasn’t shy when it came to asking questions or voicing her opinions; a definite Barnes family trait.

“Who are you?” Emma asked.

_Here we go…_

“This is Brock, Ems. He came here so he could meet you.” He glanced over to the alpha, “He also has something for you.”

Emma brightened, “What is it?”

Brock fumbled with the bag and pulled out a box. He held it out to the small brunette, who took off the lid and smiled widely when she peered inside. “Are these for me?”

“Yea kiddo, they’re for you. Your dad told me you like Dorothy.”

“I like the flying monkeys.” Emma corrected.

“Well, now you can pretend you’re Dorothy with the flying monkeys.” Bucky said, a little exasperated, “What do you say to Brock?”

“Thank you.” Emma sensed the slight unease between the two adults. “Who are you?”

The adults exchanged looks, but Bucky took the lead.

“Brock is your father, Emma. He was the one who-“ Bucky swallowed, feeling his throat tighten, “He helped me to make you. Steve was there when you were born, but Brock is the one who actually helped put you in my tummy beforehand.”

Emma pursed her lips and glanced over to the new alpha. After a moment of consideration, she asked, “So do I call _him_ daddy?”

“If you want. He sired you, Ems.”

“But what about Steve?”

Bucky smiled sadly. “Steve lives too far away to be a daddy. So Brock asked if he could be your daddy instead since he helped to make you.”

The child wasn’t fully convinced, but Brock had brought her shoes and she wasn’t about to turn down the gift. “Okay.” She looked at Brock appraisingly. “Do you want to help me down the big slide?”

Brock smiled, “Yea, I’d like that.”

The two set off and Bucky was suddenly struck with the realization that even though Brock and he had a rocky past, the alpha might possibly be a good father. Even though the omega would never fully trust the man, their morning at the park showed Bucky that even Brock was capable of being human. Emma took a liking to him and although Bucky wasn’t about to change Emma’s last name to Rumlow, he would at least allow her to have a relationship with her biological father. He didn’t want to lie anymore.

Not to himself, and certainly not to Emma.

*

The following evening, Bucky and Emma were over at Clint and Natasha’s apartment, eating spaghetti when Emma blurted out, “I got to meet my daddy who helped make me.”

Clint nearly choked on his noodles.

Bucky blushed in embarrassment as Natasha set down her utensils and glared at the omega. “Is that so? What’s his name?”

“Brock.” Emma piped up as she twirled her noodles on her fork.

“ _James_.” Nat seethed his name like an angry mother.

The next two hours was followed with Clint playing games with Emma in the TV room while Natasha berated Bucky over and over again in the master bedroom. It was a war among titans as Bucky was just as stubborn as she. Nat didn’t agree with his reasoning and was concerned that the omega wasn’t even in his right mind,  but after going in circles back and forth, she resigned herself to believe that Bucky’s rash decision was one made out of grief from his separation from Steve.

*

His first day working at SHIELD was slightly intimidating as he showed up in a pressed suit that he had found at the thrift store. He knew he wasn’t wearing Armani or Gucci, but damn did he still feel good when he walked into the building and was given his new ID tag. He was excited to be working in the engineering department of SHIELD where they specialized in manufacturing advanced security, vehicles, and weaponry.  It was like a dream come true for him to be around such advanced tech. It wasn’t exactly NASA, but it was close.

His first day of work nearly left him dead on his feet by the time he came home after 5. Emma was nearly bouncing with excitement as she greeted him at the door and hugged him close. Winifred was happy to spend the day with her granddaughter, and Anna was in and out as she was planning to take two years of community college to save up on money.

By the end of the third week, Bucky was used to the rhythm. He didn’t get to have control over the more exciting projects, but he was still content on fetching coffees and doing some of the required mundane tasks. He made sure to do them with as much perfection as possible, wanting to make a good impression on everyone even though he knew he was ‘just an intern’ and was getting only the bottom of the barrel work.

Still, he didn’t complain.

He knew that after this internship, he would have completed college and would be on the job hunt. It was imperative for him to make a good impression always, which was why he nearly threw himself out the window in dismay when in his haste, he ran into the CEO and spilled hot coffee all over the crisp Dolce & Gabanna navy blue suit the man was wearing as he was exiting a meeting.

Bucky stared up at the man in absolute horror, speechless for a moment as he comprehended the major mistake he had just made.

“Fuck, I am so sorry!” Bucky knew his words were coming out quickly and that he probably shouldn’t have cussed, but he had truly not seen the owner of the company in such swift movements.

The CEO was annoyed, but before he could fire the imbecile, he took in the softly fresh scent of the omega as he stared up at him with big blue eyes. The older alpha took in the omega’s fresh face and noted how truly exquisite the man’s cheek bones and full lips were. The intern was beautiful and the owner of the company thought twice about berating the individual to a pulp.

“Think nothing of it. What is your name?” he asked as he wiped down his suit with a handkerchief produced from his pocket.

“James, sir. James Barnes.”

“Hm. Alexander Pierce.” He held out his hand and shook the omega’s firmly, smiling lightly. “What department are you working in?”

Bucky had no idea why Mr. Pierce would want to even waste a few breaths on a lowly intern like him. The man was all power and grace in his suit. He had a known reputation for being hard handed and straight to the point.

“In engineering, sir. I’m an intern this fall from NYU, Polytechnic division. I graduate in December.” The words wouldn’t stop and Bucky inwardly scolded himself for looking like a giant meatball in front of the _CEO_.

Pierce smiled and the omega had to admit that he truly was handsome. He had dark golden hair and penetrating blue eyes that Bucky could’ve sworn went right through him. He was [older](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/04/54/0f/04540f399f63f05f95d2ebd6f252d02f.jpg) than Bucky; in his mid-30 to early 40’s at the very least.

“Well James, I would like very much for you to come along with me tomorrow to R&D. Would you like that?”

Bucky was speechless for a moment, at a loss to why he wasn’t being fired. “Yes, sir. It would be an honor.”

“Very good.” Pierce smiled, showing off his perfect pearly whites. “I’ll see you at 8 o’clock sharp tomorrow morning.”

He walked past Bucky and continued on with his next appointment, leaving Bucky to quietly freak out and clean up the remaining mess.

Pierce had a well-known status for not interacting with many of his lower employees, but for whatever reason, he had taken a liking to Bucky. The omega couldn’t believe his luck as he shakily cleaned up the coffee spill from the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mamó loosely means grandma in Irish. Also, since some people were confused...Sarah had NO idea about Steve and Peggy and their news. She was completely in the dark, just as Bucky was.  
> So I’m very nervous about posting this 25 page chapter of grief and went back and forth with some of the scenes, but I’m sticking to my outline for the story and going through with it. I promise that there is legitimate reasoning for the choices the boys make.  
> As for Bucky accepting Brock back (which was one of the hardest scenes for me to write), he’s in a low place and Rumlow hasn’t been antagonizing him. He’s not in his best place, but he starts feeling that Emma should know the truth. I like to imagine that at this stage, he’s almost like compliant Winter Soldier Bucky as Brock and Pierce enter his life. He’s had his world turned upside down and he wants to grasp to some semblance of normalcy for Emma’s sake and his own sanity. Bucky still doesn’t trust Brock fully, but he’s tired of having the alpha hover in the back of his mind. It was time to face his fears and put things out in the open. Bucky is tired of running, broken-hearted, and down for the count.  
> As for Alexander Pierce, I envision him to be younger in this. (look up more pictures of young Robert Redford)
> 
> Thank you for all of the love and support! Hopefully ya’ll don’t hate me after that low blow on Bucky and Steve…I still promise there’s a happy ending!
> 
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky looked fatigued as he sat up in his chair to explain, “I love you too, Nat. But I’m at the point in my life where I just want to belong to someone. I’m tired of waiting for the right person to come along. It feels good with him. It’s different, but it feels good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be sure to read the tags for warnings!! We will be experiencing more time jumps as the story progresses. For this chapter…again, I’m sorry for the angst. Warnings for heavy Bucky/Pierce in this chapter and heavy tones of manipulation and non-con elements.

Taking a tour of the Research & Development floor alongside the CEO of one of the world’s leading high-tech security agencies was a dream for Bucky. He soaked up every second of his time next to Pierce and was mindful to ask good questions and to shut up and observe when he sensed the other was talking business to his higher up employees. A few employees looked at Bucky with interest, but the omega shied away as he didn’t want to blow this opportunity by appearing overzealous or too confident. He realized he probably looked like a starry-eyed college student (which he was).

Still, he answered any and all of Pierce’s questions with ease and made sure to ask good questions as he studied the vehicles and tech they came upon. After the whole tour was over, Bucky was startled to be invited back up to Pierce’s office where a lunch had been set out for the two of them on the alpha’s large balcony terrace suite.

The omega was completely dumbfounded.  

“I thought we could discuss your career over lunch. I hope this isn’t too much.”

“No, not at all. This looks great.” Bucky immediately replied, not wanting to appear ungrateful.

Pierce smiled in satisfaction as he took a seat. Pierce’s personal assistant immediately began plating the food of cold assorted, freshly made sushi. There was no doubt in the omega’s mind that this was hundreds of dollars’ worth of food from one of the nearby 5 star restaurants.

“Do you like seafood?”

“I do.” Bucky replied as he gazed over the fish.

“Eat up. I like seeing my employees with a healthy appetite.”

The omega brightened and dug in, using his chopsticks expertly. The fish practically melted in his mouth as he ate and he had to hold in the orgasmic moans that threatened to spill from his lips. Pierce seemed very pleased across from him as he ate his own lunch and took in Bucky’s form.

“So what is your dream career, James?”

The brunette swallowed first before replying, “Ideally I would love to work in engineering with anything that flies or drives. I’m a gear head at heart.”

Pierce chuckled. “I can see that. You strike me as the kind of young talent we need in the firm. How about you get your portfolio together and show me what you have tomorrow. I’m also assuming that you’re not getting paid for this internship?”

Bucky’s cheeks reddened slightly, “No, sir. NYU interns don’t get paid.”

“I figured as much. I would like to pay you a decent wage if you can prove your competency in your desired field. I think your outlook on machinery and passion will give a well-needed boost to our engineering department.” Pierce loved seeing the attractive omega practically glow with excitement across from him. He was certainly beautiful and as Pierce further studied his fine features, he noted that the suit didn’t match the body. “Where do you buy your suits?”

Bucky reddened. “Well...considering I’m not getting paid and I only have a very part-time job, I use thrift stores. I can sew pretty well so I alter most of the things I purchase to fit me.”

“Ah. Well, I’d like you to leave your measurements with my assistant before you go. If you’re going to be showing your designs, you should also dress the part.”

Bucky wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the whole interaction, but by the time he got home around five, there was a new suit hanging for him in his room. Winifred said that about an hour earlier a man dressed in all black, driving a Mercedes, dropped off the gift. As the omega approached the beautiful dark blue suit, he read the label. _Chanel._ There was also a shirt, a tie, and a brand new pair of black leather shoes to go with the outfit.

“Is this a secret admirer?” Winifred inquired with astonishment. “Because if so, that is quite the gift.” His mother didn’t seem entirely convinced that the whole situation didn’t seem a little off. 

“It’s from Alexander Pierce, ma. He’s the CEO.”

Winifred’s eyebrows nearly disappeared in her hairline. Knowing this was a gift from a much older, wealthier man didn’t seem to settle her nerves.

“What’s a CEO?” Emma asked.

“They’re the boss of a company, sweet pea.” Bucky explained as he ran his hand over the beautiful fabric. He began to wonder if he was Pierce’s new charity case or if the man gave this kind of treatment to all of his up and coming employees.

Either way, Bucky wasn’t complaining.

“Don’t you think this is a little strange?” Winifred asked as she looked over the suit. “Typically interns are not treated this way. Are you sure his intentions are pure?”

Bucky flushed at his mother’s implications, “I’m presenting some of my designs tomorrow to the company. I’m sure he wants me to look the part.”

His mother sighed and rolled her eyes, leaving the judgement up to her son. The next morning when Bucky did try on the suit and show his daughter, he was met with a few jaw drops from his mother and Joy as well.

“You look really pretty, daddy. Like a blue star.” Emma smiled widely around her cereal.

Bucky had to admit that the suit did give him a sense of power which helped him to nail a successful presentation later on in the day. All day long he had a slight skip to his step as he prided himself on his hard work. When he got home later that night, he took Emma out to eat at his favorite diner and even splurged on an Oreo cookie milkshake to share.

*

The omega began to set up a schedule with Brock to meet with him every Sunday morning with Emma in tow. It was the most he would allow and feel comfortable with as Emma and Brock got along swimmingly when they were around one another. Both Winifred and George were not happy about their son reconnecting with Emma’s birth father, but he was an adult and was allowed to make his own decisions. When they asked about Steve, Bucky had been honest to his mother that everything with the blond alpha had fallen apart when he visited him. The news had been quickly followed by Sarah confirming that her son was expecting a child with Peggy, whom she had also not been aware of the two dating.

Bucky and Sarah had a small moment alone where the alpha’s mother hugged him close and apologized for her son being so cruel and ‘meat-headed’ (her own words). The omega accepted the hug and the support, but didn’t say anything negative as Steve was Sarah’s only child. Despite how angry he was with the alpha, he wasn’t about to bad mouth him in front of his mom; no matter how much Steve had hurt him.

The brunette looked on as the alpha and his daughter chased the waves at the ocean. It had been a difficult decision for the omega to allow Brock to join them on their end-of-summer tradition, but he relented and drove them to the beach for the day where Emma could build sandcastles and enjoy the last of the seasonal heat.

He stayed seated in the sand, watching as Brock’s larger frame bent down and helped to lift Emma as the cold ocean waves tried to lap at her tiny bare feet. Over the past few weeks, the two of them had bonded more than Bucky had anticipated and his daughter was beginning to look forward to her Sundays with her biological father.

Bucky hated to admit it, but Brock was a good father towards her. He refrained from pushing himself onto the omega and his daughter and took what he could get in terms of what the omega would allow. Two weeks after meeting his daughter, he had asked Bucky if she could meet his dad who was on his deathbed. It had been a tough decision for Bucky to agree to, but he accompanied Brock to the alpha’s father’s room and watched from the doorway as Emma met her biological grandparents.

Despite Bucky’s doubts, tears had been shed and Rumlow’s father had been granted a dying wish. Bucky knew that Brock’s dad had not led the most civil of lives (having served time for gang activity in his youth and conducting shady business), but the omega didn’t see the harm in allowing a man on his deathbed fifteen minutes with his only granddaughter. It had been a quick affair as the Rumlows asked Emma what she liked and what she wanted to be one day (a Jedi she had said, thanks to watching _Star Wars_ ).

While Emma sat in the chair next to the elder Rumlow’s bed and her biological grandma, Brock had approached Bucky by the door and pulled him in for a tentative hug. He had whispered “Thank you.” into the omega’s ear before pulling away so quickly that Bucky blinked and wondered if it had happened at all.

Brock’s father died a few days later, and the alpha seemed as much at peace with it as he could be and continued on with his relationship with his daughter. Somewhere in that mess of emotions, the omega began to find peace in his decision to allow Brock back into their lives.

As he spent the day at the beach with his daughter and her father, Bucky realized that he had made the right decision. Emma adored Brock, even though Bucky still had slight reservations about him.

The sun-tanned toddler came running up to her dad in excitement, “Daddy, can we fly kites next week?!”

The omega chuckled as he straightened himself up, “Yeah, that’s fine. In the park, right?”

Brock approached, shirtless from the waist up and looking just as handsome as Bucky remembered. The man had worked hard on his body and the rippling muscles were a proud show for it. The omega hated to admit that he felt slightly roused looking at him.

“Down in Central Park next Sunday. Would that be cool?” Brock asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I know someone who just loves a hotdog or two.” The omega reached over and snatched his daughter, pulling her into his lap to kiss the top of her head and tickle her stomach. Emma squealed with laughter as she pushed away, giggling.

“It’s a date then.” Brock smirked.

Later in the day, Bucky would groan in the car as they had been complimented multiple times by a few people on the beach for being such an attractive family. It was annoying to him that people felt it their business to stare and make comments, but Brock merely chuckled and pointed out quite bluntly, “Well, look at us. We could be the poster family for young, hot, and virile.” He elbowed the omega and wagged his eyebrows.

The younger man groaned at the thought and let it slide, though as he drove them home he began to think of the word ‘family’ and what that could mean.

He hated to admit it, but the three of them were as much of a family as any other unit. Even with their hang-ups and sordid startup…they had made it to this point.

*

It was the beginning of October and working under Pierce had allowed Bucky the luxury of both showing his hard work ethic first hand, and learning far more in the world of engineering than he had thought possible in a paid internship. He had already signed a contract to sign on with S.H.I.E.L.D as a full-time employee with full benefits when December rolled around.

It was a rush of excitement for him as he worked with Pierce’s top engineers and was mentored by people who were pros and held masters and doctorates in their areas of study. As the omega proved himself to be the hard and dedicated worker that he was, he was entrusted with helping with the larger more detailed projects that suited his interest.

It was late in the afternoon and Bucky was working diligently on a draft to revise a few of the mechanical design elements that needed updating when Pierce knocked on the door and entered the office. The omega straightened in his seat but did not stand up, having now a better understanding of the older man. Pierce had taken a special liking to the omega and didn’t require him to stand at attention for the man like a trained dog. Instead, he preferred to have a more at-ease relationship with his employee.

The omega straightened out the crisp blue shirt he was wearing, but decided against trying to unroll the sleeves.

“Hello, sir.” Bucky greeted with a bashful smile, knowing full well he didn’t look his best when compared to the always handsome alpha.

The alpha smiled as he approached, “You’re always so hard at work. It’s inspiring to see someone with a strong desire for perfection.”

The omega loved the praise, though he didn’t want to show it. “I just do my work, it’s nothing special.”

Over the past few weeks, it became a more common occurrence for the alpha to drop by and check in on his newest employee. He always rained Bucky with compliments, and the occasional new suit or outfit seemed to be an added bonus. The omega had brushed it off at first, but after the 3rd crisp new shirt and tie arrived wrapped neatly on his desk, he knew that Pierce had taken a direct liking to him. He began to wonder if the man even fancied him, but he was too afraid to confront those feelings.

“What are your plans this evening?” Pierce questioned.

The brunette took pause, surprised, “I usually spend time with my daughter in the evenings.”

“Her name is Emma, correct?” Pierce asked.

“Yes.”

“James, would you permit me to speak freely?”

The omega nodded, somewhat taken aback, “Uh, sure. Yeah, go ahead.”

“I believe that it has become apparent to you that I do find you intriguing just as much as I find myself quite attracted to you. Before I embarrass myself any further, I wondered if any of those emotions might be returned. I assumed you weren’t seeing anyone, but if you do have a mate, then I apologize if my attentions have been unwarranted.”

The omega felt both flattered and slightly embarrassed by the whole situation. He looked around the office, noting that they were the only two occupying the space. He typically shared the room with three other employees, but they were absent.

“Are you asking me out?” Bucky blurted out.

“In simple terms, yes.” Pierce replied with a wide, toothy smile.

The omega chuckled, feeling like a hot tomato from the intensity of his blush. He wondered why someone as powerful and handsome as Pierce would take any interest in him,

“I’m not going to say no-“ Bucky chuckled, feeling somewhat self-conscious, “But why you’d want to go out with someone like me is baffling.”

“Someone like you?” Pierce clarified. “Someone who is strong, hard-working, dedicated, and beautiful? Of course I’d like to take you out.”

Bucky bit his lip, feeling giddy with the praise and adoration. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time and it left him slightly unnerved that this was happening. A rich, dominant alpha wanted his company and he knew that if his father was here, George Barnes would point out that the whole situation seemed out of place.

However, Bucky was tired of denying himself things that he wanted. And right now, he wanted Pierce; wanted to taste him and allow this man of power to lay claim over his body. Bucky had never been romanced and pursued by someone and right now, it was all he wanted.

“Then it’s a date.” Bucky smiled, wanting to be selfish for once after years of always giving.

*

Bucky fell hard and he fell fast.

Despite Alexander Pierce being 41 years old (and 18 years his senior), his boss, and a powerful CEO of a multi-million dollar company; he in return felt the strong attraction for the omega and lavished him with gifts, affection, and dates that were so surreal that Bucky had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

The alpha was also good to Emma, who in turn did not take as much of a liking towards the older man, but was happy to see her father smiling again. Winifred and George were both equally nervous about the whole situation, but seeing their son seemingly come back to life again, smile wide, and have a skip to his step again; they couldn’t deny him the newfound happiness. They didn’t like Alexander Pierce, but Bucky was love drunk and the alpha seemed to care for him and his daughter.

A month into their relationship, Alex invited Bucky to his Upper East Side penthouse suite where he cooked them both an exquisite meal. Afterwards, when Bucky had insisted on helping with the clean-up, Alex led the omega out to his balcony overlooking New York City in its entire dazzling splendor and handed him a drink. Bucky downed the offered beverage, feeling light and airy. The pair made out as the cold air whipped by them, the omega feeling weak in the knees as he clung to the older man and  gasped as the alpha took initiative and gripped his hips hard.

“Stay the night.” Alex whispered.

“I have things to do tomorrow morning.” Bucky shook his head, but his body felt heavy and in need of an alpha.  

Pierce bit at his earlobe softly before kissing him right behind his neck where he knew it would drive the younger man crazy “So we’ll get up early.”

The omega gasped, eyes rolling to the back of his head as the alpha continued to kiss and bite his way down his neck. For the first time in a long while, Bucky found himself wanting someone for more than just sex. He wanted this desire with Pierce; this security in his arms and in his presence. He wanted this privileged life and feeling of belonging.

As he was getting lost in the other’s embrace, he suddenly felt the vibrations of his phone as it rang. He groaned, pulling himself away reluctantly as he pulled out his cell to make sure it wasn’t his mother. Noticing the unknown number, he put it on silent and went back to getting wrapped in the other’s enticing scent and power.

He knew he had fallen hard and fast for this authoritative man, but he didn’t care. His body sang for him with every naked touch and the omega fell deeper into his snare.

*

Steve sat in his studio and stared at the white canvas in front of him. It was clean and new; completely barred from any imperfections or marks. He had been staring at the same canvas for a long time now as he tried to find something in him to express.

He felt dirty for looking at this pure, unmarred promise.

He felt angry and ashamed. Lost and completely broken for the way the universe had turned its ugly head against him.

He felt that he had deserved it.

He felt that in some twisted way, it was his fault.

He reached down and took another long pull of his beer, trying to fill the heartache and anguish that had gripped him since it had happened.

Since the end had taken place.

It had been two weeks now that Peggy was rushed to the hospital, bleeding profusely as she had woken up in the middle of the night with sharp pains like daggers inside her body. Her voice was sheer panic as she told Steve she couldn’t feel the baby move; screamed in distress as the ambulance wheeled her to the hospital where at six months pregnant she had miscarried.

The doctors had done everything they could, but by the time she was brought in and the vitals had been taken, their child was already gone. They were both overcome with the loss of their future family, and when Peggy came home two days later after her c-section, she went straight to bed and barred Steve from joining her, saying she needed time. After three days of hiding from the outside world, hiding from her mate, and refusing to eat, a helpless Steve called and Peggy’s mother came to attend to her. Although Steve was desperate for his mate, Mrs. Carter assured the alpha that the best thing for them was to get out of the house and try to pick up the pieces the best they could.

Steve wanted to go with them, but Peggy had kissed him on the cheek, hugged him close, and asked if he could give her more time to process things first. She was full of grief and in need of sorting through her head before moving on from the traumatic ordeal. Steve couldn’t deny her the solace she was desperately seeking, and as he kissed her forehead and watched her go, he felt a piece of him leave with her as well.

In the blink of an eye, Steve found himself without the love of his mate, without the hope for a future family.

His eyes burned with the need to shed more tears, but he couldn’t. All he could do was wait for his mate to return and hope that they could move forward from everything that had happened.

He had permanently shut the door of the baby’s nursery and avoided their bedroom where Peggy’s grief-stricken smell permeated. He knew he wanted to throw away the mattress where the blood had soaked through, but he didn’t have it in him to spend more than a few seconds in the room that held the memory of waking up in bloodied terror.

Steve set down his drink and picked up his paint brush, dipping it in paint as he smeared the crimson, runny red across and at the top of the canvas. He then ran turpentine over the strokes watching as the red thinned and dripped as gravity tugged at the droplets and allowed the canvas to bleed.

He smeared shades of red, ochre, and deep plum until the canvas looked like an angry, pulsating mess not unlike the harsh tangle of anger and loss.

Hours later, the alpha found himself sitting on his back porch, looking out to the few trees in the garden. His finger hovered over the call sign and when he pressed it, he closed his eyes tight and waited for the other line to pick up.

He knew he shouldn’t call him; knew he had no right in Bucky’s life after the horrible things he had done and said to him.

But after everything that had happened, all he wanted was to hear his voice.

Steve had tracked down Bucky’s new phone number from Thor, who gave it to him with the warning that if he tried anything stupid, that was it.

Instead of Bucky answering, he was met with a voicemail. He left a message and once he hung up, ran his dirtied fingers through his hair and called Sam. The beta and his mother had been his rock of support as he tried to steer his way in the mess of feelings.

*

The next morning, Bucky woke up next to Pierce and stretched like a gratified cat next to the bigger alpha. He had a slight headache, but ignored it as a more persistent need to use the restroom prompted him to get up. Alex was fast asleep on his back, his arm draped over Bucky’s side where he was curled up against the taller man. Carefully, the omega extracted himself and picked up his phone on his way to the restroom. He freshened up with a quick shower and afterwards, while he was brushing his teeth (an extra one had been set out for him), he checked his voicemail.

There was one from Emma, wishing him goodnight and reminding him that they were meeting with dad (Brock) today. Bucky snorted at his daughter’s bossiness; typically Barnes family trait.

The second message was less amusing. On the other line came an all too familiar voice.

“Hey, it’s Steve. I realize that you don’t want to speak to me and I’m- fuck. I shouldn’t be calling you.  I’m sorry, Buck. My head isn’t on right and you’ve always been a voice of reason and I- I…” There was a deep exhale as the alpha struggled for words, “I’m sorry I’m calling you. I’m thinking of you-I’ve been thinking of you and you’re the only one who-“

The message ended; cut off.

Bucky hadn’t realized he had already dropped his toothbrush. He saved the message and set down his phone, spitting out the toothpaste in the sink before looking up at his reflection.

He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his wet hair clung to the nape of his neck and along his jaw. He pushed back his long tresses and took in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He hated that even after months of no contact, Steve’s voice still made his heart leap and beat faster.

His best guess was that Steve and Peggy had gotten into an argument and Steve was drunk dialing him for some kind of reassurance. It wouldn’t be surprising since the alpha used to always drunk dial him, but what concerned him more was the fact that he had Bucky’s number. The omega cursed their close friend group as he was positive one of them gave it away. 

He finished brushing his teeth and cleaned up his mouth. He sighed, feeling the familiar creep of sadness crawl from the bottom of his heart as he remembered Steve’s rejection of his feelings and the disastrous trip to the UK. He wanted to carry on as if nothing happened, but he knew he couldn’t swallow it down forever.

“Everything all right? You smell off.” Alex was in the doorway, looking to him with a measuring gaze.

Bucky bit his lip, “Just had a weird voicemail from a friend. I think he might’ve been drunk.”

The alpha came into the room and wrapped his arms around his omega’s waist. “Anything I should be concerned about?”

“No, he’s old history” Bucky murmured. He rested his head back against the alpha and tried to take in Pierce’s salty sea scent.

“Good.” Alex ran his lips along the crown of Bucky’s head, taking in his soft clean scent, “I don’t think I could ever share you.”

*

Between work, Emma, and dating Pierce, Bucky found little time to fit in close family time as his schedule filled up with busy projects and social commitments. Emma continued to remain his #1 priority and her time with Brock on Sundays still stood. However, by the beginning of November, the brunette began to find that juggling his family, work, and a social life was getting difficult.

So when his boyfriend offered him a rent free place to stay with him at his penthouse, George and Winifred were immediately alarmed by the news.

“You’re doing _what_?!” Winifred gasped.

“I’m moving in with him.” Bucky put his foot down on the matter. “Emma is turning 4 soon and Brock and I found a great pre-school for her that is closer to my work. This private pre-school is more advanced and they can encourage her strengths and work more one on one with her. Also, I’ll be living rent-free. So…why the hell not? It’s a great opportunity.”

“Nothing is ever free, James. You know this.” George stated solemnly as he eyed his son critically. “Has he mated you?” He leaned forward and pulled at the collar on Bucky’s shirt.

The omega swatted his father’s hand away. “No, he hasn’t. Alex and I get along great and it would make everything way more convenient. Besides, if Becs moves back home after college, where are we going to put her? The house is too crowded.”

Winifred looked crestfallen, “If you’re so busy, then when will we get to see you? Do you truly think we wouldn’t make room for all of you? This is your home, James. ”

“Good God Ma, I ain’t moving across the country. This is NYC I’m talking about. It’s a drive away.”

“Are you sure moving in with an alpha will be good for Emma?” George asked. “I know you say he’s good with kids, but this is too soon. You’ve only been dating for a few weeks.” Mr. Barnes shook his head, “I don’t trust this man. I don’t think his intentions are good.”

Bucky looked to him seriously, feeling offended. “I know you two are going to be against it, but I really care about Alex and I can see a future with him. We’ve talked about what we want and this is a step in that direction.”

His parents exchanged concerned looks.

“You’ve heard of older alphas posturing younger omegas into relationships, correct? This doesn’t seem right. Pierce has had strings of relationships in the past. Just google him and you’ll see.” George explained. “I know you say you love him, but do you think you might be trying to compensate after Steve left? You need more time.”

Bucky frowned, “I appreciate that you’re trying to protect me, but I’m old enough now to make my own decisions.”

Winifred tried her best to keep the peace between the two men. “James, you’re an adult and can do whatever you please, but try to be careful. You have to think of Emma, too.”

Bucky waved them off, “I’ve been thinking of Emma! She will have her own room, a great school, weekends with her biological dad, and Alex who dotes on her. She has everything she needs!”

“Except for a competent dad.” George growled.

“George!” Winifred huffed, “Apologize!”

“No, let the old man be grumpy.” Bucky muttered, “I’m sorry you feel this way and maybe things are moving a little fast, but I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life.” The young omega stood up from the dinner table.

“Just be careful, son. I don’t trust this alpha.” George interjected.

“I know you don’t like him, but I feel I need to do this. Please respect my choice.”

George looked upset and concerned, while Winifred seemed to try and process the situation. By the end of the argument, Bucky stormed out to the garage to work on the motorcycle and get his mind off of his parents’ worries. As far as he was concerned, his mind was made up.  

*

Eventually Bucky’s parents seemed to settle with the idea that their son was moving in with his serious boyfriend and that he and Emma would be well taken care of. It was a difficult position to swallow, but the omega was an adult and had a right to make his own judgments with his life and for his daughter.

His parents had been easier to talk to.

Natasha was another story.

“Have you been to the doctor?” Natasha glared at the omega as she turned from the stove and crossed her arms, looking very pointedly at him for a sane explanation. She wasn’t unaccustomed to the drama that was Bucky’s life, but this took on a whole new level.  

“Uh, no?”

“Because you need to get your head checked. You have been dating your boss for all of 2 months and you’re moving in with him? Do you _realize_ how crazy you sound right now?”

Bucky smirked, “Maybe I am crazy.”

Natasha marched over to him and smacked his shoulder with her wooden spoon. The omega yelped in surprise and rubbed the spot, hissing.

“Why do you do this to me? Why do you put me through so much anxiety? I’m always worried about you and my little mishka.” Nat seemed to soften as she looked to Bucky’s face, “You are my family and I love you.”

Bucky looked fatigued as he sat up in his chair to explain, “I love you too, Nat. But I’m at the point in my life where I just want to belong to someone. I’m tired of waiting for the right person to come along. It feels good with him. It’s different, but it feels good.”

“You deserve happiness more than anyone else I know in this world, but you don’t need to belong to someone to have that. You also don’t need to jump on the first available alpha who wants to be your sugar daddy.”

“He’s not my sugar daddy…It’s easy for you to say I don’t need someone; you have Clint. I know I have you guys and my family, but I want to experience something new and Alex has been nothing but generous and good to Emma and me. I don’t want to pass up this opportunity.”

Nat shook her head, “I still don’t agree with you. I think you’re being rash.”

“Well, it’s happening either way. I’m sorry Nat, but I need this.”

The red haired alpha brought up what Bucky was mostly running from, “Is this because of Steve?”

The omega shifted in his seat. He would be lying if he said no. He understood that somewhere deep inside this was almost like a type of revenge for what the alpha put him through. Bucky had the successful hot boyfriend and a good life that he could call his own without the help of his old best friend.

“I’m over him. This is new and I’m moving on.” Bucky explained.

“You’ll never be ‘over him’. I just don’t want you to try and cover up your anger with Steve by moving in with this fossil and pretending to be all cookie-cutter.” Nat clarified, “And don’t you think it’s weird that some high powered alpha wants to smother you with gifts and a home? How do you know he doesn’t just want another house wife? He’s had plenty of mates in the past, though he’s never married any of them.”

The omega glared at the red-head. “It’s different.”

“Is it? Really?”

Bucky quickly closed himself off of the topic, “You can be upset with me for my choice, but please let me just have this, okay? I’m tired of being ridiculed by everyone.”

“Well, get used to it because once the New York gossip columns find out Alexander Pierce’s young, hot omega intern is moving in with him…they’re going to have a field day.”

“Then I’m going to be famous.” Bucky teased.

Natasha glared at him, “No…you’re going to be labeled a gold digger. I hope you enjoy your newfound gory, baby.”

Bucky threw a magazine at Natasha while she cackled at the stove and began to sing the song _Gold Digger_.

*

Moving in with Pierce a few days before Thanksgiving had been stressful only because his friends and family were all wary and nervous about him shacking up with the alpha so soon. He understood the sentiments, but it got annoying when even Brock butted in and told him it wasn’t a great idea. The omega had spoken to Pierce about the CEO’s past and even though it was rocky, the older man reassured Bucky that he was different and that he wanted to help him succeed. Bucky only felt a small trickle of doubt, but he wiped it away so that he could focus on the excitement of a new home and a new life.

While Emma’s new room was painted and furnished to her liking, Pierce had also given Bucky a room to where he could call his sanctuary and get things settled. The pair decided that they would share a bed only from time to time as their relationship progressed and their schedules permitted. Bucky’s room was closer to Emma’s, helping his daughter adjust to the new transition as Bucky was allowed to work a few days from home to help establish his scent and presence in the home.

Emma started at her new pre-school the following week. On her first day, Brock met with Bucky outside of his new apartment building and the pair walked their daughter towards her new school.

“So, you officially snagged yourself Alexander Pierce? Not too shabby, Barnes.” Brock nodded towards the expensive apartment building and the finely dressed men at the door. He handed the omega a Starbucks coffee.

“Nicer than yours, isn’t it?” Bucky couldn’t help himself.

Brock snorted and shook his head, “Who knew. The man is ruthless in his business. I’ve seen him working at legal hearings; that man is a beast. Didn’t realize he had a soft spot to him.”

Feeling slightly uncomfortable, Bucky glanced to the alpha, “A beast?”

“Shit, just google his legal business. You’ll see. But apparently he has a soft spot for hot omega interns.” Brock made a one-up look on Bucky, “With killer thighs.”

The omega smacked Brock on the arm and the other man chuckled. Emma was in the middle, holding on to either of their hands until they made it to her pre-school. She kissed and hugged both of them as she was checked in by her new teacher and Bucky was left with parental worries on how she would do on her first day.

“Don’t cry, James.” Brock teased.

“Fuck off, she’s my daughter.” Bucky muttered. He wiped at his eyes and turned, trying to stay strong so that his daughter wouldn’t scent his worry. He speedily walked down the block away from her school, Brock following behind while he sipped his coffee.

“So how is it with Pierce?” Brock asked.

The shorter brunette glanced over towards the other, “How do you mean?”

“Living with him.” Brock waved his hand in front of him, gesturing in a grandiose way, “His lifestyle, his temperament. The man always kind of gave me the creeps. Always too formal; too calculating.”

“Well, you can’t tell a lot about a man’s private life in a courtroom or in his business.” Bucky defended.

Brock outright laughed, “Oh sweetheart, the courtroom and boardroom are where you see a man’s _true colors_.”

The omega went quiet, annoyed that now even Brock Rumlow was giving him pseudo-relationship advice. Everyone was against his involvement with Pierce and even though Bucky logically knew they were moving too fast, he truly cared about the older man and saw a future with him.

Rumlow noticed the annoyance, “Aw c’mon James, we’re at the point in our relationship where I can look out for you too, right? My daughter is living with the guy, too.”

“We’re at the point where you mind your own fucking business.” Bucky growled. He continued walking as they veered off for their work offices.

 “See you tomorrow!” Brock chimed from behind him, chuckling as he walked off. Bucky felt like punching the man in the nose for sticking it where it didn’t need to be.

*

It was during Thanksgiving that Bucky found out about Steve and Peggy.

Sarah was present with her longtime boyfriend, looking considerably less bright and cheery than she usually was. Bucky went to sit beside her on the couch, feeling concern flooding his system. When she began to explain why she was upset, the omega could do nothing but listen in horror.

“Peggy and Steve are separated. I thought you knew.” Sarah looked genuinely surprised at Bucky’s lack of knowledge. He shook his head, brows creased with confusion. Upon realizing that the omega was truly in the dark, she reached over and held Bucky’s hand, “I know that you and Steve are not on good terms and that what he did to you was truly unforgivable. I’m upset with my son for not telling you or I about his relationship with Peggy before you left for London. However, you have a right to know…They had a miscarriage at 6 months. After that, they’ve been separated.”

Bucky was completely taken aback.

He immediately thought of the strange voicemail message Steve had left weeks ago.

“Oh my god… Sarah…” Bucky leaned forward and brought her into a hug. Even though he was angry with Steve, he wasn’t heartless. The family had lost a child. “I’m so sorry.”

Sarah was shaking slightly as she breathed in, “These things happen. It’s the hard facts of life and I wonder if the baby had the same heart condition Steve’s father had.” She squeezed Bucky’s shoulder as they separated.

“I’m so sorry.” Bucky meant it as he couldn’t even comprehend the idea of losing Emma when she was still growing in his womb. He remembered the nights he would wake up in worry if he didn’t feel her moving enough or if she made sudden movements. No one had ever told him that a part of being a parent was being in a constant state of fear for your child’s safety and well-being.

“I’m holding up better than I thought I would, but I was afraid Steve would try to reconnect with you when what he needs is to come home and sort things out.” She exhaled slowly and looked around the room. “He’s coming home for Christmas this year so I hope he’ll reconsider moving back.”

“Moving back?”

“I’ve been trying to persuade him that he needs a fresh start in life. He’s been talking about moving to Los Angeles or Chicago, but of course I want him here with me instead.”

Bucky felt like his ears were burning. He thought of Steve returning home, broken hearted, and although he wanted to feel vindicated with karma…he couldn’t be that coldblooded.

“Mamó!” Emma ran over to Sarah, reaching her arms up for a hug. Sarah visibly softened as she bent forward and picked up the girl to seat her on her lap.

 “Did your daddy braid your hair? It’s lovely.” She complimented the child and proceeded to ask Emma how her school was going and what her teachers and friends were like. While Bucky listened off-handedly to her replies, he looked across the room to where Becca and Anna were speaking in hushed tones and exchanging glances with their older brother.

Pierce was in Europe during Thanksgiving to close out some deals for the company, but had sent an assortment of fresh and expensive pies to the Barnes family as a peace offering. Everyone ate the pies, except for George who was resolute that he didn’t trust the man.

It was the first holiday that Bucky felt truly at a loss for what was going on in his life. He wanted to bask in the fact that he was in a relationship with a powerful alpha, his daughter was excelling in her new school, and that he had his dream career. But the more Bucky tried to search his feelings, he realized there was an emptiness that still existed low in his belly, pulling at his heartstrings and causing him to force smiles that should’ve come easy otherwise.

He knew what was missing, but refused to outwardly acknowledge it.

He kept up with the mantra that he was doing well, and that he had everything he could possibly want and need.

*

Every winter holiday season, Natasha and Clint loved to host a winter party for their close friends at their apartment. Natasha was raised Catholic whereas Clint was raised Jewish, so there was a little mix of each of their cultures as the friend group participated in a secret Santa gift exchange and brought games, snacks, and food to enjoy.

This time around, Pierce did come to the party but refused to wear the Rudolph sweater Bucky had purchased for him. He liked his expensive alpaca fur sweater he had ordered and encouraged his boyfriend to wear the red one, but Bucky refused and ended up wearing his Cthulhu Christmas sweater.

This was the first time Pierce would be meeting Bucky’s friends, and the omega was undoubtedly nervous as Pierce’s chauffer dropped them off. Pierce squeezed his hand to reassure the omega and when that didn’t work, he pulled him off to the side alleyway to make out with him until the smell of nervousness dissipated and was replaced with arousal.

The older man left a dark hickey near Bucky’s bonding gland that left the omega annoyed but panting with need when they separated. Nat’s eyed immediately honed in on it when they entered her apartment. Her eyes were narrowed as she sized up Pierce critically. Even at her 5’7 dancer frame, she looked threatening to the older alpha and offered him a challenging gaze.

“I’m Natasha, Bucky’s closest friend.” She introduced herself. “If you break his heart, I will squash yours.” She smiled and took Pierce’s hand and Bucky would’ve been affronted if he wasn’t trying to laugh it off as some kind of odd joke. 

“Alex.” Pierce nodded and took her hand, “I’m charmed.”

Natasha was like a venomous snake as she smiled threateningly and led them inside. Clint at least had the decency to try and act casual and welcoming as he shook hands with Pierce and invited him to make a drink. Thankfully, Alex didn’t seem to turn up his nose at the humble apartment and his power and charisma came into play as he met Bucky’s friends who were not at all star struck (after all, they were friends with _Tony Stark_ ).

Tony was present with Rhodey, and the pair were immediately excited to see their old roommate. They were bummed that Emma was at home with her grandparents, but it was understandable as Bucky wanted to drink and enjoy the festivities. Rhodey had since joined the Air Force and was currently on a short holiday leave before reporting back. Tony, on the other hand, was successfully taking over her father’s business of Stark Industries since the old man had passed away two years ago.

“Heya Alex, didn’t expect to find you in my circle of friends. I would almost dare to wonder if you were trying to spy on me via Bucky here.” Tony clapped Alex on the back and smiled widely, though there was a dangerous edge to his voice.

“Would never dream of touching Stark industries, but if you begin feeling the pressure of filing those big shoes…” Alex smirked and Bucky couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious. He smacked his boyfriend on the chest.

“Play nice.” He scolded.

Alexander smirked, “I always do….but no promises.”

Most of the evening went on with Bucky nervously introducing his boyfriend to his close group of friends. In all, they seemed to respect Bucky’s decision and accept the alpha into the group as he was on his best behavior and his charisma brightened through as they drank and made merriment. Alex was not as outgoing in the social setting as someone like Steve or Brock, but he was a change from what Bucky usually went for.

However, time stood still around eleven at night when Steve entered the apartment.

He was in the front room chatting with Wanda and handing the fellow omega her secret Santa gift when the blonde alpha came to the door, accompanied by Thor, Jane, and Darcy. The younger man looked like hell and as much as the omega wanted to hate him and yell at him, his heart hurt as it picked up speed.

He immediately left Wanda and Alex to excuse himself to the bathroom, where he locked the door, turned on the fan, and tried to calm his hyperventilating.

He was _not_ prepared for this.

The omega opened up the medicine cabinet and rummaged through the bottles and medicine boxes until he found a scent diffusing spray in the back. He didn’t care to ask as he began to douse his neck and scent glands with the spray to block out the mix of emotions that were coursing through his veins. He was aware that he was slightly drunk and that the whole combination was one that could cause a nightmare.

It was Natasha who opened the door to the bathroom and walked in unannounced.

“I didn’t know he would be coming.” She apologized, looking just as shocked as the omega.

“Why the fuck is he here?” Bucky fumed, “I’m not ready for this!”

“I know, but you’re just going to have to suck it up because my mate wants him here and I don’t want to argue with Clint tonight.” She took in a deep inhale, “Besides, you found the scent diffusers. You should be good.”

Bucky ran both his hands down his face, “It is too early and I am too drunk for this.” He bemoaned.

Natasha sighed and crossed her arms, “Listen James, I’m still upset with what Steve did to you and he shouldn’t be here, but the guy just lost his mate and his kid. Clint has been talking to him. I don’t think he should be here with you, but we all share the same friends. It was bound to happen.”

“This is such bullshit.”

“It is, but that’s life. Just stick close to me, okay?”

Bucky leaned in and accepted her hug. She scented him softly and when she couldn’t read his emotions, led them both out to the main room. Alex was quick to attend to the omega with a drink, which Bucky downed in quick gulps.

“So this is the same Steve?” Pierce asked as he side-eyed the competition.

“Yeah. I didn’t know he’d be here tonight. We can leave now if you want.”

Pierce wasn’t one to pass up a challenge.

Bucky tried to stay conveniently out of Steve’s radius, but the alpha eventually found him later on in the night when he was out on the balcony catching up with Rhodey.

“Hey.” Steve greeted timidly. He was like a dog with its tail between its legs’, scared and unsure of the ground he was walking on. Rhodey’s conversation died down as he glanced between the awkward pair.

“It’s good to see you, man.” Rhodey offered, standing to bring the alpha into a hug.

Steve nodded and then turned his attention to his old childhood friend. “Hey, Buck.”

The omega didn’t make a move towards him. He nodded his head in acknowledgment and took a sip of his drink. Steve knew when he wasn’t welcome, but he wasn’t about to cower.

“I’m sorry for butting in, but can I talk to you, Bucky? Privately?” he glanced nervously towards Rhodey.

James looked over to Bucky and with a stifled nod from the omega, the beta walked past Steve with a warning look as he re-entered the apartment and shut the sliding glass door behind him.

Steve didn’t make a move to step closer as Bucky’s body language conveyed he was very much closed off. Nonetheless, Bucky wasn’t going to be the asshole in this affair, no matter how angry he was. “I’m sorry about Peggy and the baby.”

The alpha bit his lip and nodded in acknowledgement. “Thank you.”

“I feel bad for you, but at the same time I’m still really pissed off with you and what you did. Why are you here?” Bucky prompted, his voice cold.

“Thor invited me. I’ve been back in the states now for a week and a part of me…Look, I knew you would be here and I wanted to see you.”

The omega’s face didn’t change as he watched Steve, “What do you want, Steve?”

“I wanted to apologize.” The blonde was quick to add, “I know I have no right to see you, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t forget you or Emma and I miss our friendship.”

Bucky frowned irately, “Excuse me for being blunt, but would we be having this conversation if things hadn’t gone south for you?”

Steve looked taken aback.

Bucky continued, “It’s grand that you want to be friends again, but I can’t help feeling like I’m still an afterthought in your life.” He kicked at the snow from the balcony, feeling confused and angry. “If Peggy was still in the picture, I doubt you’d be here or care.”

“That’s not true. I’m not perfect, Bucky. The things I said and did…I know they were wrong.”

“So why didn’t you try to make things right months ago?! Why didn’t you tell me that you were _mated_ and that you had moved on!?”

“I did! I tried calling, I tried to get a hold of you! Natasha all but threatened me and I took a step back because it was clear to me that you wanted to move on. I didn’t tell you beforehand because I was scared, Bucky. I wanted to tell you in a certain setting, but it all went to hell and unplanned for.”

“What you _said_ to me, Steve, was fucked up. You wanted me to move on so that you could have an excuse to carry on with your life and not feel like the bad guy. You’re still a coward.”  Bucky shook his head at the audacity of his former best friend, “I’m so glad to hear that you were _scared_. Makes me feel _way_ better after I blindly flew out to the UK only to be rejected and humiliated by you and your friends. I should’ve taken your feelings into account before I went.”  He was sarcastic and although he knew his words were hurting both of them, it felt good.

The younger man ran his hand down his tired eyes as he tried to regroup, “Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you-“

“Then what the fuck did you come here for?” the omega snarled at him. “Did you come to tell me about all of the money you’re making? Did you come here hoping to feel better about yourself after the shit you pulled?”

“No, I came here to apologize and patch up our friendship.” Steve was adamant, his temper rising. This time, the alpha tried to keep it in check as he hadn’t been drinking and knew from the get-go that he was the one in the wrong.

Bucky’s eyes hardened, “You only want our friendship back now that she’s gone.”

Steve looked down at the snow and closed his eyes, knowing that he was partly guilty of the accusation. He nodded, realizing that Bucky was the one in power in the situation and that he wasn’t wrong for being stand offish or unkind in his words; the truth hurt.

“That’s what I thought.” Bucky took a step back to lean against the railing on the balcony.

“Can you forgive me?” Steve asked. In another lifetime, Bucky would’ve desperately gone to him and said yes. He wanted to blindly forget all of the heartache and turmoil of the past 6 months, but at the same time…he had changed.

“No.” Bucky whispered.

Steve looked crestfallen.

“I can’t fully forgive you for what you did. It killed me, Steve. It still kills me that you chose someone else and never had the decency or trust to tell me even though I loved you and would’ve bled for you. You know just as well as I do that what we had before…it’s gone.” Bucky’s voice was shaking as the old emotions struggled to resurface. He thought he had bottled them away and thrown them in the ocean of his despair, but they were coming back in waves.

“I can never forgive myself for what happened to us and I’m truly sorry for what I did to you.” Steve stepped forward and reached out his hand. Bucky shook his head vehemently, rejecting the touch. The alpha seemed to be choking on his words, “You know that I love you, Buck. I’ve always loved you and I think you’re my true mate.”

“That’s not fair, Steve. Don’t you _dare_ pull that shit with me.” The omega was shaking his head as tears threatened to spill over his eyes. His body yearned for the other’s touch even though his mind and heart were racing with fury and confusion.

Steve was crying now and it was the most beautiful, ugly thing Bucky had ever seen. “I should’ve been honest with you. I should’ve stayed in the states and gone with you to MIT. I’m so sorry, Buck. I’m so, so sorry…Please forgive me.”

Bucky was shaking with grief, angry with life and where it had thrown them. How everything that was once good and pure could turn to vile and rotted hurt. He thought of all of his life struggles and of all of the things he had been through with Steve by his side up until the man rejected him. It wasn’t fair for Steve to confess his love in the light of his own mate leaving him. It wasn’t fair for him to be here in front of Bucky when the omega felt like he was just getting truly back on to his feet.

Bucky refused Steve’s embrace, pushing him back as his hand came up to hold in the sobs that wanted to creep from his mouth. He shook his head, trying to compose himself.

“Rejection hurts, doesn’t it?” Bucky stated shakily.

The blond looked at him forlornly, but he understood why the omega couldn’t go through with trying to patch their relationship. The omega walked past the alpha without another word and left him to wallow with his hurt in the snow on the balcony. Once inside, it didn’t go unnoticed to him that most of his friends had witnessed and overheard his fight with Steve as they stood in stunned silence. He paid them no attention, not even Nat as he stormed to the front and pulled his jacket off of the coat hanger and left with the slam of the door.

Natasha tried to yell for him to come back, but it was Pierce who stopped the elevator doors from shutting and got in with him.

Pierce didn’t even get a word out before Bucky was pulling him into a searing kiss and bit down on his lip. “I want you to take me home and fuck me hard.” He demanded.

Pierce smiled with a devilish glint in his eye as he dug his fingers into Bucky’s side.

*

The chauffer took them home, where Bucky was mostly silent as he tried to process his feelings and anger towards the whole situation. Pierce was replying to a phone call on his cell as they rode back, though he kept his right hand on Bucky’s upper thigh. The omega wasn’t sure if it was a sign of support or possession, but he melted into it as his body ached for reassurance and comfort. His heart was hurting with every beat, knowing that he and Steve once loved each other but now it was a dirtied, ruined entity.

When they got home, the alpha fixed them each a drink while Bucky texted his mom to let her know he would be picking up Emma in the morning. Alex offered him his cup, which Bucky downed in a few quick swallows, followed by a shot of whiskey. The older alpha looked pleased as he watched the younger man set the empty glasses down.

Bucky excused himself to the restroom where he wiped off the tears and hurt from his face with warm water. He threw his jacket to the ground and pulled off his damp Cthulhu sweater with it. When he came out of the restroom, Alex was sitting on one of the chair and flipping his phone in his hand. He stopped when he noticed his boyfriend standing in the hallway.

“So how much of the fight did you hear?” Bucky asked, feeling worn-out and uncertain of how Alex reacted to hearing the admissions of love and anger exchanged on the balcony. He felt a little woozy and warm and began to wonder if his heat was coming on.

Alex breathed, “To be frank, I heard all of it.”

Bucky nodded, sucking on his lower lip as he felt embarrassed for losing his cool. His face felt flushed.

“There is something that I am very curious about…” Alex stated as he stood up and approached the omega. The brunette felt his heartbeat pick up as he smelled the heat of the alpha’s arousal and dominance reverberating through him. “Do you still love him?”

The omega looked away from the alpha, breathing in shakily. They shouldn’t be having this conversation when they were both slightly drunk and in odd sorts after their drive home. Bucky didn’t want to talk about Steve; he wanted the alpha to fuck him and erase the memories of his childhood friend.

“Do you still love him, James?” Pierce asked again. When Bucky refused to answer, the alpha clipped in a more demanding tone, “Answer me.”

“Of course I love him, I’ve always loved him.” Bucky felt his throat tighten at the admission. “I can’t control it-“

Pierce smiled, but it didn’t echo in his eyes, “That’s what I thought, but from this point forward…he is _nothing_ to you.”

Bucky stood there, frozen by the authority in Pierce’s expression. It startled him to realize Pierce was using his alpha strength and power to get into his head, which felt loose and fuzzy. He took a step away from his boyfriend as he felt the shift of power in the room. It was not unheard of for alphas to use their authority and their hormonal scents to exact control over their mates. It was a looked down upon practice, but it still happened. Sometimes by accident, but most of the time…deliberate. He wondered why this outburst was taking place and as his body began to respond with arousal that felt unwarranted and dirty, Bucky began to wonder if Pierce had put something in his drink. He hadn’t been feeling this way until he had downed the water and alcohol a few minutes ago.

“I love him.” Bucky whispered. “I can’t change that.”

“You will stop contact with him. You will never speak to him again.” Pierce ordered as he moved closer. The omega felt his back up against the wall, suddenly feeling nervous about the whole situation. In the back of his mind, he quietly felt relief that Emma was at her grandparents’ house, far away from what was happening.

“What are you doing?” Bucky’s eyes watered as he tried to keep his composure. “What did you put in my drink?” His voice felt sluggish and the reality of what was happening was frightening him, even though his muscles felt slack and relaxed.  

“He is nothing to you.” Pierce repeated. “Say it.” The alpha loomed over the omega and ran a hand down Bucky’s front to rub up on to his crotch. The omega’s body was already responding to the alpha’s imposing scent with arousal. Bucky tried to push away.

Bucky shook his head, refusing to be bullied into this conversation, “You can’t control me.” He tried to push off the wall and create distance between the two of them, but the alpha’s demeanor quickly changed when he was met with opposition.

It was fast and ruthless, the way his hand tangled into Bucky’s hair and jarred his head to the side. The omega cried out, trying to push his larger body away but the alpha had the leverage and the upper hand as he caged in the omega and leaned into his neck, biting down on the bonding gland as hard as he could to claim his property.

Hot and bright pain flooded Bucky’s listless system as he screamed in distress. He struggled against the alpha, panting and crying out as blood from the wound trickled down his shoulder and chest to stain his t-shirt. As the bond brightened, flared, and solidified his tie to the alpha, his voice grew hoarse as his breathing shook in unmeasured gasps of air. It was one thing to have been knotted without consent a long time ago, but being forced into a mating by the deliberate bite of an alpha was on another shameful level.

A typical mating involved for both partners to bite down on the bonding/mating gland at the base of the left side of the neck where once bitten, bonding pheromones would be released to tie the pair together. Once mated, a pair would be more in tune with their mating cycles, each other’s emotions and needs, and more in-tune with their partner. It was primarily a sacred thing; unless it was forced.

 If forced into a mating, it wasn’t uncommon for omegas to find themselves bitten by alphas who in turn would not allow the omega to bite them. This would result in an abusive system where the omega would be at service towards their alpha that commonly altered their feelings and dependency on the alpha.

It felt almost like a death sentence.

Bucky was in shock as the bite hardened his bond to the older alpha. Pierce unlatched his teeth from the bite-mark and leaned his head back to look at the tear-streaked face of his new mate.

“Say it: Steve means nothing to me.”

Bucky closed his eyes, feeling the order run through his system like a severe need that itched and ached until it was fulfilled. He was frightened of the physical hurt of denying the request.

“Steve means nothing to me.” He whispered, feeling filthy relief once it had been said.

The slap across his cheek that followed hurt, but was nothing compared to what had just happened. His neck pulsated in pain and his mind felt jarred into fogginess.

“Good. That wasn’t hard now, was it?” Pierce asked. He soothed his hand down Bucky’s hair, “You see, we could’ve done this under more ideal circumstances, but you had to be difficult, didn’t you? Your little lover had to come back into the picture and threaten what we have…but no worries, now. I will take care of you, James. You’re truly mine now.”

Bucky didn’t want to look at him or acknowledge the hell he was in. He was scared of what this all meant for him…for Emma. He was frightened of what Pierce would have him do. Abusive alphas who forced their omegas into mating were known to force their mates to do all sorts of frightening things. He wanted to remain in denial that what had just happened to him in less than a few minutes ago was a forced mating, but his whole body clung to the alpha’s scent in a way that made him feel dirty and vile with need.

“Why? Why did you do this to me?” Bucky ventured in a weak voice as he slowly began to sink to the ground. His back was still against the wall, blood smearing on the way down. He wondered why his body didn’t reject the bite and why his limbs felt weak and heavy. He wondered if he had been drugged to accept the bond. He wondered if Pierce had always planned this.

Pierce stood over him, his mouth caked with dry blood. Biting through a bonding gland typically wasn’t a neat and pleasant experience. It also wasn’t usually forced against the other’s will.

“Ever since I saw you, I knew I had to have you. Your mind, your body…You’re beautiful, James. I believe that we can make a difference in this world with my company. Our new visions will bring S.H.I.E.L.D. to a global scale.” He wiped at his chin, “But in order to do that, I need to ensure that you are completely mine. Understood?”

Bucky felt the compulsion to agree. He felt sick as he said, “Yes, sir.”

Pierce smiled “It will be okay, James. Let me bandage you up and after you get a good night’s rest, everything will be back to normal without any threats to our relationship.”

Bucky felt himself nodding in forced agreement as Pierce helped him to stand. The pair walked into the master bathroom where Pierce helped to bandage up Bucky’s fresh mark and lead him to bed. As he ordered the omega to rest, all Bucky could feel was the cold vice of terror forcing his body to lay beside his alpha and pray that this was all a nightmare. He couldn’t understand what had just been so heartlessly and mercilessly taken from him. He shook in Pierce’s arms as his brain felt heavy and pulled his body to sleep against his will.

By the following morning, the omega had gone into a mating heat. His whole body felt as if it was tingling with fire as his body craved the touch and fulfillment from its new alpha. Pierce had Bucky gulp down a full glass of water and took the next few days off to attend to his new mate.

In the blur and heaviness of heat pheromones and the established new bond, the omega felt like he was drowning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a whirlwind to write. O,o  
> As you have noticed I have the chapters capped around to 18. It might be more or less, but from where the story outline stands right now, I marked it as 18.  
> So again, this chapter was difficult to write for many reasons. Ugh, feelings! If there’s one area Bucky is really stupid in, it’s Pierce. Also, Brock is a lawyer and his firm works with business legality so that’s where his connections to Pierce are. As for Pierce…I tried to put in little snippets that he’s not a trustworthy person. All the drinks he hands to Bucky? Not pure. More will be explained in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you again for all of the amazing support and feedback. I am truly speechless by your kindness and for taking the time to read my story. Thank you!!! (and I’m sorry for the sadness in these past few chapters…There needs to be a storm before the rainbow!)  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The omega knew he should pack his bags and run now, but he was afraid of getting caught. He observed his surroundings and began to formulate a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags for warnings! Once again, there are some little time jumps. Un-betaed so any mistakes are my own.

“Well that was uncomfortable.” Tony declared amidst the group of stunned friends in the living room. He took a long swig of his drink and frowned over at the blonde, who was standing in the doorway of the balcony looking crestfallen and helpless. Steve didn’t seem to register the pairs of eyes on him until the awkward cough from Wanda broke him from his daze.

He closed the sliding door behind him while Clint made a move to grab him by the arm and lead him towards the master bedroom; away from having to face the embarrassment of his outburst.

“Yikes.” Janet breathed out as he shuffled past her.

Natasha grumbled in Russian as she paused and looked out towards her friends. “Please, you are all still welcome to continue eating now that the show is over.” She turned away to pursue her mate and the blonde alpha with an annoyed look etched in her brows.She followed them to the master bedroom where she shut the door behind her to face the alpha and the beta.

“I’m so sorry.” Steve’s voice was already shaking as his pungent smell of misery rolled off of him and bothered her nose. “I shouldn’t have-“  

“Did you think it would be a good idea to corner Bucky before or after you went outside on the balcony?” Natasha growled. “Why couldn’t you keep the peace for _one_ night?”

“I was going to give him space, but-:

“-But you couldn’t help yourself!” Natasha threw her hands up in frustration.

Clint tried to keep the peace, standing in-between the heated alphas with a placating stance. He held his hands out to slow down the situation before it escalated and resulted in another fight.

“Let’s pause.” The beta made a time-out gesture with his hands, “Look, this whole situation is terrible and I’m #1 in line to see you and Bucky reconcile, but tonight wasn’t the time or the place to do it. Can we take a step back first?” The beta was calm in the face of two irritated alphas and his demeanor slowly began to rub off on them. “First, Steve, I want to know what’s going on in your head. You don’t seem well…and I mean, on the verge of a breakdown not well.”

The blonde looked pained, but his nagging anger had been ebbed away as he took a seat at the end of the bed.  He ran his hands over his face. “You’re not wrong. Everything has gone horribly wrong and it’s all my doing. I miss how things were before…”

“I know you do….but I’m going to need more than that, Steve. Why would you say Bucky is your true mate? That was a crap thing to say in light of everything.” Clint pointed out.

“You guys need to know…more than anyone, you both need to know that Peggy and I never bonded.” Both Natasha and Clint stiffened at the confession. The blonde continued dejectedly, “We never actually mated and when she found out she was pregnant, it threw us both for a loop. Up until that point, Peggy and I had only been friends with benefits. She didn’t want a serious relationship and there was…there was someone else.”

“Someone else?” Clint’s brows rose even higher as the story unfolded.

“She found her true mate at her work. Peg and I had kept things casual as friends, but we were careless somewhere along the way and we found ourselves in a situation. When she told me about the pregnancy, we decided to give it a go, even though Peg consciously knew her co-worker was her true mate. She still wanted to try a relationship for the sake of the kid.  I didn’t have the heart to tell Bucky on the phone as it was never what I had intended…and it all went to hell because of me. I would’ve liked things to work with Peg and the baby, but we weren’t meant to be together and I know part of it is because Bucky is my true mate and Peg found her true mate in Angie.”

“So you and Peggy never..?”

Steve shook his head, “We never bonded, no. When she found out she was pregnant, she wanted to keep the pregnancy and I told her I would be there to support her. We thought that we could try to give it a go and be together, but we never established a mutual bond bite. We weren’t ready to and it didn’t feel right. With Angie in the mix, it became apparent why.”

“So for how long have you thought Bucky was your true mate?” Natasha asked warily.

Steve looked down to his hands, “I’ve always loved Bucky, but I want him to be his own person without my influence. I kept it quiet; locked away. That’s why everything I did makes it all worse. I’ve ruined it.”

Natasha held up her hand for him to stop. Her eyes narrowed, “So despite your feelings that Bucky is your true mate, you still treated him poorly and made him to feel terrible for one, being a single parent and two, for being hurt when you flew him out to London and kept him in the dark about all of this and then let it explode in his face.”

“I’m not perfect…”

“No, you’re not. I would say you’re an imbecile, but what you did was just cruel.” Natasha shook her head in annoyance, “I barely have words for you, Rogers, other than that I am ashamed of you.”

Steve nodded and hung his head, worrying on his lower lip. The alphas were at odds with the whole room smelling like frustration and sorrow with low thrums of anger.

“Look, do you want to fix it?” Clint asked as he placed his hands on his hips, feeling slightly exasperated.

Steve looked up to him, looking pained and sincere, “More than anything, I want to be back on speaking terms with him. If he hates me or never trusts me again, that’s fine. I don’t expect him to forgive me, but I only ask for a second chance to patch up our friendship.”

 “You definitely have a lot to atone for.” Clint sighed. “First, you need to give him some space and time. Bucky doesn’t want anything to do with you right now and you should really be focusing on fixing your own problems. Bucky’s been left to lick his own wounds, and now it’s your turn to get your head on straight. You’re not in a good place.”

“He also has a boyfriend he’s living with. You saw Alex.” Natasha added.  She sniffed her nose at the unpleasantness of even having to speak of Bucky’s boyfriend. “I don’t like Alex. I think he’s trash, but Bucky is rebounding and he needs the time to feel the waters before he comes to his senses. As for you…” The alpha reached out and placed her hands on Steve’s shoulders. “You need to pull yourself together and move forward.”

Steve shook slightly as he exhaled.

Natasha lifted the blonde’s chin to look her in the eye, “You both need time and when he feels like he’s ready, then things can move forward. Right now though? You are to give him space and respect the fact that he doesn’t want you and that he may never want you again.”

It was a hard reality to swallow but Steve understood his faults and knew he needed to work on himself first and foremost. With a saddened nod, the redhead leaned in and hugged the younger man. Despite her rage towards him and the spite he had shown to her best friend, Steve was still a man who had lost his child and his potential mate; he was in limbo.

Clint reached in as well, hugging both of the alphas, “Can we all stop fighting and move forward now? Pleeeease?”

Both of the alphas seemed to agree that it was time to grow up.

*

Bucky’s heat finally dissipated after three days and all the omega could think of was how angry, terrified, and royally fucked he was. Pierce had behaved as the perfect doting alpha towards his new mate- making sure Bucky was hydrated and fed while also making sure to knot him every time the opportunity presented itself (even when the omega didn’t mentally want it and fought back). There was a twistedness that seeped below the surface of Pierce’s skin that had the brunette on edge. This was not the same man who had romanced him and promised him everything. There was a sinister intent that was flowing through him as he ordered Bucky to present and to ‘be good’ for him.

The man was a monster.

The omega was at least pacified by the fact that he had a birth control implant injected in his arm a year ago to halt any chances of conception for the next three years. Though even though he knew there was a 99.99% chance that an alpha’s seed wouldn’t take, he was still disturbed by the whole ordeal. Firstly, the man was fucking him without a condom. Secondly…he could feel the alpha in his head and his body responding with an anticipation that made him feel ashamed and unclean. His body sung under the ministrations of the older man, and it made Bucky feel all the more disgusted with himself.

It was a whole new sensation to be so aware of someone else with a strong desire to please them. Despite his anger and fear, his body responded to Pierce as if he were an instrument and the alpha were a musician; playing every key and note of his body. He felt disgusted with his bodily responses as his body tried to strengthen the bond through his heat.

Though as Pierce moved inside him, Bucky held on to the tendrils of anger and need to get away and to get even the best he could. He was in a terrible situation and knew that in order to get out of it, he would need to play the game until it was safe to escape.

*

The first day after Bucky’s heat, he still felt like he was in a fog. Pierce made sure to gift Bucky with a thick scarf to wear over his cover to cover the bandage on the mating bite. The omega kept reminding himself that he needed to play the game and that he needed to do it safely. He had to think of Emma and about what his next step would be in order to get out of there before the bonding became permanent with his next heat. Even as he picked up Emma from his parents, he feigned that he was still feeling sick from the after effects of his heat versus the dread that coiled low in his stomach that Pierce could hurt him again or worse- hurt Emma.

He stayed quiet for the first week and felt as if he was walking on egg shells.

The omega knew he should pack his bags and run now, but he was afraid of getting caught. He observed his surroundings and began to formulate a plan.

The brunette doused himself in scent diffusers and when he picked Emma up from his parents, held her close and kissed the top of her head in a silent apology. He was too proud to admit that everyone had been right, but he didn’t want to act on a whim and further damage the world he had set up. He knew he needed to get out of the relationship as quickly as possible and that time was the enemy. Every day he waited, the bond would only grow stronger.  

One evening while Pierce was still out late, Emma wandered into Bucky’s bedroom where he was unable to mask his scent.

He was half-asleep when Emma snuck into bed with him and snuggled up to his side. Sensing the wide, curious eyes on him, Bucky let out a sigh.

“You should be in bed.” He whispered in the quiet of the room.

“There’s a crocodile under my bed.”

“There are no crocodiles here, Ems.”

The child let out a sad huff and made her best puppy-dog eyes. “Can I sleep in here with you, daddy?”

Bucky groaned, “I thought you were too old, little mishka.” Though despite his words, Bucky opened the covers up for his daughter to crawl under. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for his daughter to seek his comforting scent, especially when she had a bad dream or was sick.

He stroked the back of her head gently and kissed her forehead.

Emma wiggled closer and breathed in his scent, though this time her nose scrunched, “Daddy, you smell different.”

“Mmm?”

“You smell…sour. Like bad milk. Are you sick?”

Bucky felt his stomach tighten with dread over his situation. “Something like that.”

“Is it about Steve?”

Bucky paused and opened his eyes. He looked down to his daughter who already was drifting to sleep.

“Why would you say that?” he asked in slight surprise.

“Because you smell sad, like when you came back from across the ocean. I don’t like it when you smell sad.”

Bucky pulled her close for warmth. “It will be fixed soon, I promise. Everything will be okay.”

Emma nodded as she snuggled close to her dad. Bucky couldn’t sleep for a while after that. He stayed awake for another few hours, stroking her hair gently and devising a plan to get away. As he heard Pierce open his bedroom door to peek in on his prize and then move on, the omega knew that he couldn’t wait any longer.

*

It was a few days before Christmas and the omega was walking alongside Brock in the snow after dropping off their daughter. It was one of the few freedoms he had from Pierce, though he still felt the need for the alpha’s presence like a buzzing withdrawal in the back of his spine.

“You good over there, Barnes? You’ve been a little too quiet.”

Bucky frowned and glanced to the side before pulling on Brock’s arm and leading him down one of the corner alleys. The alpha made a sound of surprise as they moved away from the hustle and bustle of the morning commute of walkers. The omega led him behind a dumpster where they would be out of sight by any wandering bystanders. By now, Brock was chuckling with delight over the omega’s bossiness.

Without preamble, the omega pulled down his shirt collar to show the mating bite. “I need your help.” He hissed.

Brock’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “Holy fuck. Is that Pierce’s work?”

“What do you think?” The omega snarled. He was desperate and he knew if there was someone who could get him legally out of this mess, it would be someone who specialized in legal counsel; Brock. “He did it without my clear and conscious consent.”

“Shit. How long ago?” the alpha asked as he inspected the fresh mark.

“Almost a week and a half ago.” Bucky covered up the mark again, feeling self-conscious of the brand that was a painful reminder of his dire situation.

“Have you gone to a doctor?”

“I can’t. Pierce has been watching me like a hawk. Everywhere I go…” he shook his head as he thought twice about his words and looked around at their surroundings searchingly, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he was spying on me now.”

“I know this ain’t the time for I told you so…but…”

Bucky shoved hard at the alpha’s shoulders, “This is serious, Rumlow. I need to get Emma and I out of there without him knowing and I need a doctor to remove this bond before I do something I’ll regret. I don’t want this to be permanent and after another heat cycle…it’s a done deal.”

The alpha looked him over in consideration. Bondings were a tedious thing and typically a life-long bond was permanent after two heats were shared. The omega’s first heat signaled the acceptance of the bond bite where the initial hormones were released, whereas the second heat would allow an alpha to go into a coinciding rut and help the omega through the heat to seal the deal.

“You’ve got another heat cycle and then after that, you’re screwed. It could hit you at any time.”

Bucky wiped at his reddened eyes. Every day the compulsion to be with Pierce grew stronger and stronger; he wanted to please the alpha and be a good omega. He was losing the fight as he tried to avoid any offered drinks or food from the older man but once he was ordered to eat and drink…it was game over. He couldn’t resist and the fact that someone could exact so much power over him made him sick. He worried that Pierce would further drug him or give him something to induce the second heat.

“I think he’s drugging me. The drinks he gives me are- they make my mind fuzzy. I don’t know what he wants but I’m scared out of my mind, Brock. I need you to find me a legal and safe way to get out of this and make sure he doesn’t come after Emma or me.”

Brock frowned in alarm, “He’s drugging you?”

The omega nodded and the alpha cursed.

“If you can, I want you to get samples of some of your drinks. Put it in a water bottle or a vial or something. I’ve got a buddy who can lend me some drug tests. I can bring you that stuff later today but you have to be careful. Pierce is a smart guy.”

“But what he’s doing is illegal.” Bucky seethed.

“Yeah, but he’s a privileged CEO who is used to getting everything he wants without so much as a slap on the wrist. Look, if you want a solid case, we’re gonna need evidence to prosecute the guy.” He let out an irritated sigh, “I know you’ve got the reigns on Ems and everything, but I don’t want her to stay at that place with that creep. Can you get her to your parents or can I take her after school today? You know she’d be safe with me.”

Bucky had no doubt that Rumlow would rip out the throat of any person who so much as looked at his daughter wrong. She was the apple of his cold-hearted eyes. The omega looked down at the snowy ground and closed his eyes, knowing that his daughter wouldn’t be tracked by Pierce to Rumlow’s modern apartment home. Brock also lived close to Emma’s school and her staying with him wouldn’t disrupt her schedule.

“I want to get out tonight if I can. Have you done stuff like this before?” Bucky asked.

Brock grinned, “Baby, I’ve done these kinds of things plenty. How I see it…you keep acting like nothing’s wrong. Your bond may be solidified and all, but you ain’t permanent. Go to work, do your routine, and whatever kinds of food or drink he slips you…try and get me a sample. Tonight when you leave early to ‘pick up Emma from school’, bring your samples to my apartment and I’ll get my friend to run the test on you. If we can confirm some drugs in the system, then we’ve got a case. If you can pack any of your shit to get out of there right after work, I suggest you do it.”

The omega felt anxiety blossom at the base of his skull where the idea of leaving his alpha hurt. He tried to calm his breathing, “I’ll need help getting out of there.”

Brock shook his head, “Just stuff as much as you can in garbage bags. Get your friend Romanoff to help you; that bitch is crafty. If it’ll help, I’ll take Ems to your parents and can provide backup. If the old man wants a fight, I can challenge him.”

“He’s strong, Brock.”

The alpha raised a brow, and looked down at his own muscled body. Bucky sighed, _point taken_. He looked around the alleyway in paranoia, “So tonight I’ll leave work and go straight home to pack up. You’ll take Emma and by tonight before he gets home, I’ll be ready to book it out of there.”

“Piece of cake.” Rumlow smirked.

Bucky didn’t look convinced, but it was a good a plan as any. “After that, then what happens legally?”

“Legally? We’ll have ourselves a case if he indeed drugged you and forced you into a mating. You can prosecute him and while you’re at it, get to the doctor and start getting medicine to set you right again. You understand that reversing a bond bite is going to hurt like hell, right? Some say it’s worse than drug withdrawal or childbirth.”

The omega knew this…he had already done research on private windows on his phone to try and figure out his next steps. “I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make things right again and give that bastard a taste of his own medicine.”

“That’s the spirit.” Brock patted the omega on the shoulder before turning to leave the alleyway first. Bucky took a few extra moments to build up his game face and perfect his lies as he knew resisting the compulsion to please and be honest with the alpha would be difficult.

The thought also crossed his mind that despite all of the shit he had gone through with Brock in the past, the alpha was ultimately the one stepping up to offer help.

The universe had a bizarre sense of humor.

*

The omega knew he was walking on eggshells at work while he did his best to try and avoid his alpha by keeping his nose in his work and attempt to quiet the stress and fight or flight instincts thrumming through his veins. He was at least saved by the fact that Pierce would be in meetings all day with his board members as they reviewed the budget before they would leave for their holiday break.

The omega tried to keep up an appearance of being obsessed with his work in order to avoid talking with his co-workers or seeming too twitchy. Pierce’s assistant eventually came by his desk to leave a cup of water at the corner. “Mr. Pierce expects you for dinner tonight at 7:00 at Le Bernadin. The driver will pick you up at 6:30. You are to wear the blue suit, Mr. Barnes.” She said before turning to walk away. The omega forced a smile, trying to look pleased while his other co-workers glanced back at him with muted snickers.

The clock couldn’t have ticked slower as the omega silently freaked out and wished he could take some kind of medicine to still his nerves. He was at least calmed by the fact that because he had not issued a mating bite back towards the alpha, the man had no way to read Bucky’s feelings and emotions. Pierce could exact control by compelling his mate and using his authority, but he couldn’t read into Bucky’s emotions the same way that a properly mated couple could.

With sweaty cold fingers, the brunette pulled out his phone to fire a few quick messages.

 **JamesB** : Nat, I need you to meet me at my apartment around 4:45 today.

 **Nat** : Everything okay?

Feeling paranoid that Pierce could have some way to track his phone messages, he wrote up a different plan. Natasha still knew nothing about the mating mark aching on his neck or that he was planning to escape from the alpha that evening.

 **JamesB** : I was hoping you could give me a ride to my parents to drop off Emma tonight. Going to dinner with Alex tonight at 7 and I want to clean the apartment before we go out. No kids tonight if you know what I mean.

 **Nat** : Gross, Barnes.

 **JamesB** : ;)

 **Nat:** I’ll see you later.  

He knew he was actively lying, and the mere act of doing something against the man that held claim over him made his stomach churn and his nerves alight with fright. He closed his eyes and took in a few calming breaths, praying that his scent diffusers would mask the anxiety.

*

Natasha met with him as promised around 4:45 outside of the closest café to his building. Bucky gave her a hug and then pulled her along with him, knowing that time was their enemy as he tried to usher her along. She glanced back at her parked car and then over to the omega questioningly; she could smell the unease and fright.

“I’m leaving Pierce and I need you to help me escape. He bonded me without my consent.” Was his hushed whispers as he held tightly to her wrist.

 He was completely on edge.

The red head’s eyes were wide with alert and disturbed shock, “Where’s Emma?”

“Brock took her to my parents. Look, we have about an hour or two before we need to book it out of there. I have some suitcases in the closet and some trash bags. We grab what we can of mine and Emma’s and we leave.”

Natasha swallowed, her eyes hard as she took in the information. Bucky knew her long enough to be able to tell that she was holding back the angered emotions that were welling in her heart.

When they got into the elevator, he looked to her closely, “I should’ve listened to you, Nat. I’m sorry.”

“Let’s focus on getting you out safely first.” Natasha swallowed, overwhelmed with the information and with what was happening. She took his hand and gripped it tightly in support. “After we get you out of there, you’re coming home with me and we will get you well again.”

Bucky reached forward and pulled her into a quick embrace. There were no words exchanged until the signal on the elevator brought them to Pierce’s floor. His hands were shaking when he pulled out his key card and slid it through the penthouse doors to allow them both entry.

They first made a beeline to the master bedroom where Bucky took no time at all to sweep his items out from a few of the drawers. Most of his things were in his bedroom, which he made quick work on while Natasha held the suitcase open and helped him stuff it full.

The brunette was going for the basics and for the valuable items; photos, books, and knick-knacks that held sentiment. He packed what would make sense and after thirty minutes of rushed filling, his room looked well and truly ransacked. With a suitcase and two garbage bags full, they moved over to Emma’s room where he mimicked the first two rooms and began packing her essential items. He had already received a text from Brock that he had picked up Emma from school. The text had been followed by a question mark with ‘eta’, wondering when Bucky would get out of there so the two could meet up.

Bucky didn’t respond as he helped Natasha load the last of his items.

“Run these down to the car. I will meet you there as soon as I grab a few things from his office. He still has my passport.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Nat frowned.

“For god sakes Nat, I’m fine. We have time. Go.” Bucky waved her off as he continued his work. Nat let out an annoyed huff of breath before turning to follow instructions. He heard the front door shut with his departure, allowing him to focus and pick up speed on his mission. He knew that if he sent Natasha down with the bags and suitcases, she would be able to pack them in quickly in time for him to come downstairs and get into the car.

Bucky was searching through Pierce’s office in a frenzy, opening doors until he found the cabinet drawer that held his personal information. Among his passport and transcripts, he found photos of himself at various locations. Phone records. Background information.

Feeling horrified, he plucked the documents from the drawer and shoved them into his backpack along with his other personal documentations. He was hopeful that whatever he got would help his case against the man.

He heard the front door click and felt annoyance that Natasha had disobeyed him and come back upstairs. He zipped up his bag and lugged it over his shoulder.

“We’re good Nat. That’s everything!” he called out as he exited the room in haste.

Only to be met by Alex at the front of the hallway. The omega froze.

“Everything, James?”

The omega felt his stomach grow cold as he made eye contact with the dictating figure. Alex smiled, but there was no joy or happiness that lit up his eyes. The smile was one of an interested predator as it stalked its prey. He edged closer and Bucky unconsciously took a step back.

“Darling, I thought we were meeting at 7?” Bucky stated though his voice wavered in fear. He could feel the draw towards the man and the fact that the binding Pierce had over him was pulling him to him made him sick with dread.

“Where is Natasha?”

Bucky tried to swallow around his tight throat, “She was helping me with a few errands before our date.” He glanced at the clock to see it was close to 6:00pm.

“Was she now?” Alex advanced on him and the omega took a step back. Something was off in Alex’s demeanor. One look at his face could tell the omega that the older man had somehow found out that Bucky was trying to flee.

The omega shook his head, “I need to run a few things downstairs to her.” He tried to press forward, to get past Alex, but the older man reached forward and shoved the smaller man against the wall.

“You’re not going anywhere, James.”

“Let me go!” Bucky cried out. He screamed for help as he struggled against the alpha, feeling terror as instincts burst into motion as he kicked and yelled. “You have no right over me! I can leave if I want to!”

“You will not defy me. You are my mate!” Alex growled as they struggled to the ground. Bucky fell back, hitting his head against the tile. He felt dizzy as he tried to move away, but the bigger man straddled his waist and pinned him.

“You will _not leave_.” Pierce seethed.

Bucky spat and clawed at Pierce’s face, only causing more anger to boil in the alpha. One of Pierce’s hands reached forward to grab at his neck, pinning him to the floor as the other smacked hard against the omega’s jaw.

The brunette could faintly hear the sounds of screaming and banging at the front door. He struggled to breathe as Pierce yelled out profanities and forced him to show his neck. The older man leaned down and bit over the bonding gland again, causing the younger omega to scream as pain blossomed at the juncture of his neck and shoulder blade.

There was a loud thud like the shattering of glass and breaking of walls. The omega was nearly unconscious as he tried to gasp for breath and see what was going on in the haze.

The last thing he heard was deep alpha growling before he felt a weight lift off of him.

The last thing he felt was Natasha’s trembling hand running over his face.

*

The omega woke up and even before opening his eyes, knew that he was in the hospital. It wasn’t difficult for him to put things together as he heard the sound of vital machines and felt the discomfort of the hospital bed. He could smell the disinfectant in the air, paired with a familiar scent of _home_ and _sibling_.

He could open his right eye, but his left stayed swollen shut from where Pierce had punched him. As he tried to mentally catalogue all the things that felt wrong with his body, he realized that his eagerness to have an alpha in his life had yet again resulted in a hospital visit.

He knew that he had reached rock bottom.

It was Becca who was by his bed and who let out a broken sob as he whispered her name tentatively.

“Becs?”

His sister looked up to him in anguish as she reached out and took his hand. “Hey, there you are.” Her smile brightened as tears glazed her eyes. She wiped at them self-consciously, “You really scared us, you jerk.”

“Am I okay?” he questioned through the fuzz of whatever drugs they had him on. He wasn’t in an incredible amount of pain, but he was far from comfortable. His shoulder, neck, and face all throbbed with a dull thrumming hurt. He could only imagine what it would feel like without all of the drugs pumping through his system.

“Yeah…you’re going to be okay. You lost a lot of blood and you went through surgery, but you made it through.” She squeezed her brother’s hand affectionately, “They had to patch you up good.”

Bucky closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh of relief. “Where’s Emma?”

“She’s safe and anxious to see you.”

Bucky tried to shake his head, but it made the pain rise, “Don’t want her to see me this way.”

Becca chuckled, “She already has. She’s okay, I promise. She said you looked like a mummy.”

The brunette closed his eye again to filter out the pain. It was easy for him to steady his breathing as he was sure that whatever they were giving him included a calming drug in case he lashed out or was pulled into a panic attack. He felt fuzzy with the details as he tried to orient himself. The last thing he could remember was Pierce attacking him.

“What happened after-?”

Becca stiffened. “Nat said that Pierce came home early and he attacked you. He was using force to keep you home and she thought you were going to die, Buck. You were bleeding heavy.” She chuckled nervously to try to lighten the situation, but Bucky still felt the cold fear at the pit of his stomach as he dimly remembered the attack to his neck, “He locked Nat out of the apartment and it was Brock who burst down the door. He’s the one who pulled Pierce off of you and knocked him out until they could call 911.”

“Where’s Pierce now?”

“With the authorities. You didn’t look good, James. There was so much blood-“she choked up and Bucky’s heart bled for her. “When Nat called, I thought you were going to die.” Tears began to push past her eyelids while the beta tried to chase them all away with her sleeves, “If Natasha hadn’t have come back up for you- If Brock hadn’t gotten through the door…”

The rest didn’t need to be said. Bucky knew he was luck. Somehow, even with the worst luck in the world, he had been spared from a worse fate. He gripped Becca’s hand.

“It’s ok. I’m okay, Becca.”

Becca leaned down and kissed the top of her brother’s hand. Bucky wanted to stroke her hair and reassure her, but his other arm was immobile from the cast on his shoulder.

A few minutes later, Winifred and George came into the room to check on their son. They were followed by the doctor who had the family wait patiently as he asked Bucky questions to measure his memory and how much he could recall before falling unconscious.

After feeling confident that Bucky’s brain had not slipped on the details of the night, he was given the report of his injuries: concussion due to forced trauma on the head, laceration to the head, split lip, bruised trachea, bruised jaw, and a black eye. The worst seemed to be the torn muscle at his bonding gland on his shoulder, which the doctor explained took the longest to reconstruct in the surgery.

 With all said and done, Bucky considered himself lucky that he was able to walk away from the assault. Of course there were also the bonding hormones, which would go away over time as he healed and went through drug therapy to heal. Until then, the doctor put him on bond inhibitors to weaken the hold Pierce had on him and to allow his thoughts to clear from the fog of being away from his ‘mate’. It would take time, but eventually his bonding gland would heal and he was reassured that after physical and pharmaceutical therapy, he would eventually be free of the alpha and would be able to bond again with someone he would want to consent to. But first, he needed to go through the purging of his system.

Bucky’s family stayed with him all day in shifts. First it was George and Winifred, who were overly protective of their son as he slept most of the time while his body healed. The omega also remembered Natasha and Clint coming into the room, bringing him a balloon and a bear as tokens to get well.

The red head rarely showed such raw sorrow, but it was there in the way she carried herself and spoke with a slight tremor in her voice as she held the omega’s hand and apologized over and over. She had truly thought that Pierce was going to kill him and the thought should’ve scared Bucky more, but he was just relieved to be in the hospital with the situation behind him.

One of the last people Bucky was expecting to visit him was Rumlow. The man came into the room while Clint and Natasha were there. Typically the redhead would’ve growled at him, but she instead stood up and walked over to the man to hug him.

This was a turning point in their relationship.

“I still despise you, but thank you…for being there. I don’t know what would’ve happened if it hadn’t been for you.” She confessed.

“He might be dead…or worse; forever bonded to Pierce.”

Bucky tried to huff a laugh, but it hurt.

Clint sighed, “Why are you here?”

Brock bristled slightly, “I thought I could visit my baby daddy. Look, I brought you a plant.” He held up a succulent in a tiny red pot, “I’m glad you ain’t dead, Barnes. I’m glad I was able to beat the shit out of that old asshole for you.”

Bucky smirked the best he could through his drugged daze. “My hero.”

Rumlow snorted and set the plant down, all while Natasha eased herself back to sit in the chair. The rugged alpha exhaled as he looked around the room, “I’ve got everything handled legally and when you’re good and ready, we can prosecute the fucker. All you have to do is say the word. The feds have him locked up til they have your word and the media is going crazy with this story.”

Even with all of Pierce’s money and strings to pull, he couldn’t outrun from a crime of assaulting an omega and of forcing a bonding bite. Crimes of that nature were not taken lightly and the alpha would remain in a private holding cell until a judge would decide his fate. There was no bail for alphas who committed violent crimes. With Pierce being a high powered CEO, the media was having a hay day reporting on the plethora of issues and run ins with the law that they unearthed from Pierce’s past.

 “If you still want to pursue, we have a strong case against him. This wasn’t the kind of evidence we were hoping for, but the authorities are involved and you’re in the clear. Doc said you will have some withdrawal symptoms for a while, but you’ll heal and your mating gland should patch up.”

“Thank god for small miracles.”

“Something like that.” Brock grunted.

The omega was quiet again; thoughtful as he closed his eyes and counted what blessings he did have.  He was still a little dazed from the feel-good drugs he was on and seemed to forget that Clint and Natasha were still in the room. “I hate to say this, but Brock-“

“Hm?”

“You’re okay in my book. Despite what happened years ago and all the shit you put me through, I think I’m finally okay with you.”

Brock scratched at his nose, uncomfortable with the mention of Emma’s conception in front of the small audience behind them. He could feel the intense stares of Nat and Clint on the back of his head like locked in targets. “Look James, I’m not perfect and I’ve done fucked up things. I did you wrong once and I ain’t looking for forgiveness, but I’m trying to make things okay.”

“You did.” Bucky sighed.

“Just heal up, yeah? Ems is driving us nuts with questions.”

Bucky smiled softly at the mention of his daughter. He fell in and out of sleep while visitors came to and from his room. He distantly remembered the scents of his family, close friends, and daughter as they checked in on him and offered the amount of love and support that reminded the omega that he could get through anything with them by his side.

*

It was that night in the hospital after Rumlow’s visit that the withdrawals worsened. The omega was in and out of consciousness as pain wracked his body where his body tried to purge itself of Pierce’s hold. The drugs helped to soothe most of the pain, but he couldn’t escape it all. He panted and groaned, drenched in sweat as the older alpha’s influence began to leave him in waves of dispersal. The waves began to soothe as he felt the intense warmth and comforting scent of sandalwood invade his senses. The doctor had put him on a heavier dosage of drugs as his system continued to flush out the bonding pheromones and clear his system of Pierce’s control, but it wasn’t until a hand gripped his tightly that the pain began to lessen. It saved him from the nastiest of the pain, but it couldn’t erase him from feeling loopy, nauseous, and light-headedness.

Amid the pain and the haziness, Bucky clung to the light scent of sandalwood and the warmth of the hand holding his as if he was being guided through the worst part of the storm; shielded from the debris and raging winds. He gasped lightly as his body sweat out the pheromones that felt toxic and wrong. He was being purged of Pierce and of all of the bad things that had happened to him.

He knew he must be gripping the visitor’s hand tightly and he worried about the other’s pain, but the presence felt solid all through the night as his body wracked to cleanse itself. Trying to open his eye only resulted in more dizziness and hallucinations, so he kept them resolutely closed in the darkness of the room. He panted while his body went in waves, soaking the sheets beneath him with the acrid smell of a crumbling bond.

 Sometime in the early morning, when the sun had barely rose past the dim horizon, Bucky felt his body begin to settle from exhaustion and his breathing steady into a normal rhythm. He felt the hands brush through his sweat-soaked hair, comforting him into a dreamless state.

When he woke up hours later, the scent was gone.

Bucky wondered if he had imagined the whole thing.

He was afraid that he hadn’t.

*

The omega stayed in the hospital for almost a week while the doctors monitored his hormones and healing to ensure that the bond had been properly and safely broken and that he was through with the worst of his withdrawals. It was a rough few days and the omega lamented that he had to be in a hospital on Christmas. However, his friends and family were more than happy to bring the holiday cheer to him in the form of a small Christmas tree and gifts.

 The omega finally came home to his family’s house on Emma’s birthday, feeling shaken and tired from the whole ordeal. His parents wouldn’t allow him to watch the news or read the newspapers, as Bucky had become somewhat of a celebrity over his misfortune.

Pierce’s scandal was headline news and the reality of having his story so public made Bucky feel sick. He avoided what the media said about him and instead absorbed himself into the celebration of Emma’s birthday. He was right at home with Emma snuggled up to him on the couch and his sisters all pestering and fawning over them. Despite the horrific ordeal, he began to feel normal again.

From what curiosity he did have, he gathered that the news portrayed him as the victim of yet another alpha abuse scandal and that he had not been the only one. Other past mates of the CEO were stepping forward and revealing the stories of their own abuse and how they had been hushed with money and death threats for years until the truth had come out.  

When the news had become too much, Bucky turned it off and focused on healing and his family. Despite everything he had gone through, he considered himself lucky to have the support of so many. He had an endless stream of friends who came by for support and the love of his family.

He also had a text from an unknown number.

 **Unknown** : Please send Emma my love on her birthday. I’m relieved that you’re okay. I’m sorry for everything that has happened to you and I hope that everything goes right for you. You deserve the world and more. Good luck, Bucky.

The omega knew it was from Steve and although he wanted to text him back, he set down his phone and trampled out the desire to reach out for the alpha.

*

The trial against Pierce became the media trial of the year. It happened towards the end of January as Brock was able to pull some strings and assemble a powerful legal team that included the representatives of two of Pierce’s past mates who went through a similar abusive experience. During that time, Bucky stayed low while he healed and tried to bring normalcy back to his life. He didn’t work, but he was on the tail end of his hormone therapy and his wounds had nearly healed. It was difficult for him to get his mind in order, as the trauma from living through such an event left him feeling tired and low most days. He was seeing a counselor and little by little, building his life back.

The trial went on for only a month, having been amped up by the media and relentless press attention that covered the story and gobbled up all the details that they could. Pierce had been found guilty for aggravated assault, intent to kill, forced bonding and rape of an omega, and coercion. As talented as Pierce’s team of lawyers had been, Pierce’s rage and the injuries inflicted on his forced mate had been enough proof of his guiltiness. He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole, which should’ve made Bucky feel better though all he felt was a cold nothingness as he watched Pierce get handcuffed and led out of the courtroom.

As for Bucky and the two other omegas, they were to be awarded a substantial amount of Pierce’s money to cover the cost of medical expenses, counseling, and to help them pick up the pieces of their lives. Bucky heard the multi-digit number like static in the back of his mind as he watched until Pierce was taken out of the courtroom. Winifred was crying against George’s shoulder and the omega knew distantly he should’ve had the same reaction. Instead, he committed the image of Pierce shackled in cuffs and led away by the law enforcement to the back of his mind.

As the door shut behind Pierce, Bucky closed his own eyes and imagined his own heart closing off from the pain the alpha had brought him. He did his best to let go.

When he opened his eyes, he turned to his parents and hugged them both, feeling ready to move on with his life and continue to better himself. He didn’t seem to care about the money; all he wanted was the happiness of his family and a bright future for himself and for his daughter.

In the back of his mind, he thought of the worst part of his pain through the withdrawal at the hospital. He thought of the warm hands that soothed the ache and the smell of sandalwood that invaded his senses as he broke through the nightmare to reach the end of the storm.

When the omega turned to look towards the back of the room, there was Steve standing with Sarah, his eyes set intently on the omega. The barest of smiles reached his lips as the two made eye contact; brilliant ocean blue to Bucky’s grey orbs.

Feeling exhausted from everything life had thrown at them and all of the troubles that had burdened their relationship, Bucky acknowledged Steve with a small nod before he turned back to his family who were pulling him into relieved embraces.

He had made it through.  
                                                                                           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Brock isn’t exactly a knight in shining armor…but he’s somewhat redeemed himself…right? Maybe? No? XD  
> Sorry for the wait. I had a lot going on at work and in life. I hope you all were able to pick up a copy of CA: Civil War and watch it on repeat and cry like I was able to do. I’m still mad that Bucky and Steve didn’t get at least ONE HUG in the whole damn movie. Curse you Russo brothers for leading me to believe there’d be more bromance undertones for me to cling on! Augh!  
> Also, I have very limited knowledge of the legal jargon, so hopefully the trial situation came across clear. I jumped ahead in order for story progression and for the sake of getting back to the romance! I’m already working on the next chapter~ (which I promise will be longer) This chapter helped to set up for the next chapter's events. :)  
> Thank you for all of the love. <3 I appreciate all of the awesome feedback!  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The words echoed in the back of his mind.  
>  _You shouldn’t have come._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the warnings in the tags. Special warning for minor character death in this chapter.  
> *Un-betaed so any mistakes are my own!

Life after Pierce and the court settlement didn’t come easy to Bucky at first. Despite being awarded a large sum of money during the trial that was more than enough to keep himself and his whole family comfortable for many years to come, he felt no joy in accepting the currency in light of everything that had happened. His medical bills had already been paid off as a part of the settlement, and all of the medical services he would be receiving due to Pierce’s inflictions upon him would be paid in full as well. Financially, he was well-off enough to where he wouldn’t need to work as he healed and pieced his life back together.

He decided to move fully back to the familiarity of home in Brooklyn, where the surrounding smell of his family would help to calm his anxious nerves and promote the healing and recovery he desperately needed. He felt tired most days as his body slowly began to produce pheromones and level out hormones that were more aligned to an unmated omega. Pierce had thrown the brunette’s body for a loop, but the surgery, physical therapy, and medicine were healing the physical wounds one step at a time.

As for the mental trauma that came with being in another’s control, raped, and forced into a mating…Bucky finally conceded to seeing a specialized counselor after his night terrors began to inflict panful absences of sleep, leaving him wide awake in the dark staring at the TV, too afraid to fall asleep. He was angry that even though he knew Pierce was locked behind bars and could never reach or contact him again, the fear still crept under his skin that he would be taken advantage of and the cycle would continue.

It was through high recommendations and research that the omega found a counselor he was comfortable with. His name was Dr. Charles Xavier, a brilliant omega who specialized in mating/spousal abuse, trauma, and PTSD. He was gentle but firm when he spoke, interested in getting to know Bucky in and out as they discussed his fears and history of abuse.

Bucky had been wary of the counselor at first, but after his first one hour session where he learned to recognize early symptoms of a panic attack and calm his breathing, the brunette felt the trips were worth it. He left feeling less burdened in the world as he was given tools to deal with his anger, grief, and trauma. They discussed different coping mechanisms to help him channel his stress and anger to more constructive outlets, such as working on auto repair again, lifting weights, and guitar. (The omega hadn’t been cleared yet for weight-lifting due to his bonding gland healing, so he agreed to try running or light yoga in the meantime.)

Each visit to his counselor left Bucky feeling a little better, a little lighter, a little more like himself again; though he did have his setbacks. Being around alphas alone that he didn’t know or trust seemed to set the omega off into a fight or flight mode. He was also anxious to show his face, as his name had been plastered on many media channels when the scandalous trial had been covered. He knew that technically not everyone would know his face, as laws had been in place to protect the identities of any omega who was in an abuse case, but he still felt like there was a target on his back as he walked along the streets next to his friends.

Emma continued on with private school throughout Bucky’s ordeal and continued to do well and strengthen her friendships. In the mornings, Brock went out of his way to pick her up all the way in Brooklyn where often times he would come earlier to have breakfast with them. Sometimes Bucky would accompany the alpha and his daughter as his trust in Brock had been renewed after the man saved his life.

Bucky couldn’t help his puzzlement as to how the universe worked. The man he once ran from and despised was now at his family’s kitchen table, eating next to their daughter and making wisecracks with Anna, Joy, and Winifred. (Though Joy still seemed wary and distrustful of the older alpha.) 

Brock continued on his promise to respect Bucky’s space and refrained from any kind of touches or outward advances. The pair seemed to settle into parental life at a steady pace. After dropping Emma off at school, Brock drove the omega over to his appointment with his counselor.

Typically their drives were quiet between them, unless they were scheduling plans or talking about their daughter. However, Bucky had been thinking and three months after the event, spoke out…

“Why did you help me?” Bucky asked amid the quiet hum of the BMW M4’s engine.

The alpha glanced over to him, surprise evident in his face. He let out a slow exhale and looked around the intersection when they pulled to a stop at a red light; he seemed to have been expecting the question to come at some point. Talking about feelings and thoughts were not Brock’s strong point; he preferred to keep most things to himself. Even when his father died, the omega couldn’t recall seeing any tears in the other’s eyes, but only a small waver in his voice as he struggled to display any outward emotions that could be perceived as weak or vulnerable.

Rumlow had only mentioned once that growing up in his household was like growing up in a pack of rabid dogs. He had three brothers and as the middle child, had fought to survive in the competitive tendencies of his family. Though despite having a tough childhood, he was far removed from the angry inclinations when around his daughter. He was gentle with Emma and was quick to do anything she needed. Bucky could no longer be surprised by the way the man would lean down to tie Emma’s shoes carefully or the way he learned to style back her hair (albeit with many bumps) or zip up her small backpack.

“Because it was the right thing to do, James.” Brock answered. He kept his eyes resolutely on the light, perhaps praying that the omega didn’t pry more into his reasoning. “I had this weird feeling in my gut, and it led me there.”

“I’m glad you were there. Without you, I probably wouldn’t be here. Life is strange, you know? For so long I despised you.” Bucky looked over to the older man, “You know I don’t hate you anymore, right? You’re a good dad to Emma and you’re not the horrible person I once knew.”

Brock seemed substantially uncomfortable with the conversation. He played it off with a shrug, “Look Barnes, she’s my kid and you’re her birth father and I’m not going to leave another screwed up Rumlow in the world. I care about you two. You both deserve good things, despite how shit our lives get.”

“About that night, when we were younger…”

“Fuckin’ hell.” Brock cut him off and looked over to the omega, “You know I’m sorry. I know I could’ve easily been behind bars for what I did to you. You’ve got real balls, Barnes, for keeping and raising our kid while taking the high road when I deserved to rot. For giving me a second chance…” he shook his head and huffed out a laugh, “Don’t get me all reminiscing when I’m supposed to be prosecuting some asshole motherfucker this afternoon. I need to keep my game face on.”

Bucky reached across and tentatively took Brock’s hand where it was resting at the center console. It was the first time he had touched the alpha in a way that conveyed any type of appreciation or affection so bluntly. Brock stilled beside him and zeroed in on where Bucky’s hand laid on top of his.

A car horn blared angrily behind them, signaling for Brock to look ahead quickly and continue driving where the light was now green. The omega allowed the barest of smiles to grace his lips as he pulled his hand away.

“I’m glad my hand didn’t go up in flames.” Bucky murmured a few moments later, seeming pacified with their exchange.

Brock barked out a laugh. They had spoken enough words to speak volumes for where they were finally at in life. They had a mutual respect for one another, which was all Bucky could’ve asked for. He felt secure knowing that Emma would be raised with both of her biological parents, and that everything would work out.

As Bucky’s mind drifted to biological parents, he thought back on Emma’s birth certificate where _Steve Rogers_ was still listed boldly as the sire, complete with a signature and a promise that had never been fulfilled. Partly due to Bucky’s own doing as he barred his true feelings from Steve and allowed Steve to go in over his head.

He thought of the memory of the blonde in the courtroom. 

He began to wonder what had happened to Steve after the trial. He knew he had moved out of Sarah’s house, but to where…Bucky didn’t know. When he had asked his mom or Sarah, they both said that he had moved ‘up north’ and that he needed time to get things sorted. It was implied that he wasn’t doing well in the slight frowns that graced both of the older women’s faces, but they never elaborated. As much as Bucky wanted to punch Steve in the face, the months of rehabilitation and growth began to settle his anger into an emotion resembling remorse for their parting and fractured relationship.

It was while his mind trailed along those thoughts that he began to wonder how Steve was coping with the separation of his mate and the loss of his child. Although Steve had done Bucky wrong and the omega was still upset with how everything had panned out during his London visit, he missed Steve. Missing him made him all the more angry at himself for even allowing Steve to enter his thoughts, but it came more and more as the blonde stayed out of his life, just as the omega had requested.

The last time he had seen him had been at the trial, standing in the back in quiet, humbled support.

Bucky frowned as he looked out the car window.

*

Steve had kept good on his word to keep his distance… though he wasn’t perfect.

The image of Bucky bandaged and bruised all over as he struggled in discomfort on the hospital bed, sweating through the breaking bond like a poison was etched forever in the alpha’s mind. He knew it hadn’t been his call or the right move to go into Bucky’s hospital room and sit bedside while the omega groaned in pain, but he couldn’t walk away when his heart ached for the brunette. It was something bone-deep and pressing that led him there, sick with grief and panic.

Sarah had let him into Bucky’s hospital room, knowing full well that she could get fired or even lose her nursing license for allowing a visitor into the omega’s room after visiting hours. However, the moment Steve entered the room and held on to the omega’s hand, Bucky seemed to better stabilize amidst the onslaught of pain he was going through. He had gripped Steve’s hand tightly like a lifeline.

As the alpha held his clammy hand and prayed for everything to be okay, he couldn’t help but to silently ask and beg for forgiveness. He had been a devout Catholic in his younger years, but time and rebellion had further separated him from the values he used to hold so dear. Now, he found himself asking for penance to make things right and restore the friendship he once had. He had made too many mistakes in life and was feeling the regret of his faults.

If Bucky were to awaken, he would probably be distressed to find Steve at his bedside. The thought that he had hurt Bucky so cruelly left him angry and disgusted with himself. He had handled everything so blindly, and the words the omega spoke to him on Nat and Clint’s balcony weeks ago were well warranted.

He knew he had screwed up.

He knew that in a sense, he was the ‘bad guy’ in the group.

However, he was going to do what it takes to make things right between himself and Bucky, their friends, Peggy, Sam, and his mother.

The blonde alpha was rebuilding his life slowly, brick by brick. It started with his relocation back to New York. He wasn’t ready to take on the city, so he settled for a quiet coastal town an hour north of Manhattan where he could use the solace and simple living to refocus his life. He already had a few gallery shows lined up, so he would be busy enough to keep himself afloat with the money he accumulated from past shows and commissions.

Steve threw himself headfirst into his work.

Solitary life was cathartic and with each brush stroke against the canvas, the alpha found himself channeling his misgivings and passions into his pieces.

He ached for Peggy Carter, whom he had loved in his own special way and missed her friendship and wit. They had spoken finally just a few days before, where Peggy admitted to mating with her true mate Angie and restarting anew in France. It still hurt between them, but they both understood that they had given things their best shot and that they were not meant to be mates. Peggy was happy now with her career and her own new life in a new country.

He ached for his friendships which he had harmed due to his own selfishness. Natasha was still wary towards him, though they were beginning to reach a leveled ground of understanding. Natasha finally began to return his texts and although she didn’t accept his invitation to come visit him at first, Clint had gone instead to make peace. Clint and Steve made the most progress in their friendship as the pair bonded over flea market strolls, reconstructing old furniture, and days spent by the ocean.

Eventually Natasha gave in and tagged along with Clint when they went out to the flea markets. She was reserved at first as she gathered her bearings and took in the situation. After absorbing all the information on Steve’s new life and surroundings, she became a more steady presence in speaking with the fellow alpha.

However, the topic of Bucky was still taboo.

And the problem still remained…Steve still ached for James Buchannan Barnes.

He had no right to want anything from Bucky, so he continued on with life the best he knew how. Sarah called him daily to check in with him and make sure he was doing well as he pieced his life back together in the states. He would ask how his old best friend was doing, and Sarah would offer small details as to how the omega and his daughter were carrying along.

It was in May, almost four months after the trial when Steve received an envelope in the mail. He had come back from the farmer’s market with two bags full of fresh produce when he retrieved the mail and noticed the yellow-orange small package glaring at him.

It was from a law firm office.

He set his market items down on his kitchen table and opened the envelope with shaking fingers.

Inside were legal papers issued by Bucky through Rumlow, requesting his signature for a change in sired father on Emma’s birth certificate. The sired father would be changed to Brock Rumlow, who had been confirmed through DNA testing that he was (unsurprisingly) the true biological father. 

Steve took a seat in his chair and read over the request numbly. He shouldn’t have been surprised that this was coming as he knew very well that Bucky and Brock had somehow made amends and were very involved with one another in raising Emma. Nonetheless, it still hurt to know that this was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

He felt sick to his stomach as he thought back to all those years ago when he had drove to the hospital and stayed sick with worry in the waiting room as the omega was checked over by doctors. He thought of Emma’s birth and holding her against his chest while Bucky rested his head against his shoulder, exhausted but peaceful in the aftermath. The alpha then thought of Brock, who had sneered and teased Steve that he had gotten to the ‘omega honey pot’ first and wondered how things had gotten so twisted to where Brock was now the good guy.

He thought of Bucky’s panicked eyes when he came out of the elevator after prom and met with Steve and Sharon outside. He remembered the smell of fear and distress; he remembered wanting to beat the ever loving hell out of Rumlow.

And now…

Brock was now in the golden light; the true father who heroically saved Bucky from Pierce and won the trial of the year.

Meanwhile, Steve had morphed into the bad guy due to his own misgivings and treatment of the man who was supposed to be his best friend and love of his life. He would never be able to atone for what he did to Bucky in London, and the omega had every right to carry that grudge and anger with him.

However, for so long Steve had wanted to be with Bucky. He wanted to make things official; would’ve dropped everything if Bucky had said the word that he wanted to give their friendship a shot at turning into a relationship. The blonde had done his best to respect those wishes and wait along the side, but he wasn’t perfect.

As the blonde came back to the here and now, he decided that if Bucky wanted closure and to move on with his life, it was the best thing Steve could do for him. He read through and signed the release papers and mailed them out before the afternoon was over.

For the rest of the day, Steve tried to rid himself of the urge to call Bucky or contact him in some shape or form. He wanted to know more; wanted to know if Bucky was happy or if he had fully recovered from his ordeal with Pierce. He wanted to know how Emma was doing and how she was faring in school.

He wanted to know if Bucky and Rumlow had made things ‘official’.

The thought twisted dark and ugly in his gut. He directed his emotions in his studio for the rest of the afternoon until the early hours of morning. He knew that it was time to let go of his regrets, just as it was time to let go of his pining for Bucky.

If the omega had found happiness and wanted to move on, Steve would not serve as a hindrance to it.

____________________________

_ 8 months later _

Life had been difficult, but the omega had made great strides in his recovery since the trial and sentencing of his abuser. Bucky was on the up and up as he had purchased his first townhouse in a small neighborhood in Brooklyn just 20 minutes from his childhood home. The commute to Emma’s school was still sometimes a pain, but she loved her friends and he had no qualms with allowing Brock to drive their daughter to school every day.  

The omega found himself working for Stark Industries in engineering at the end of the summer. After Tony’s father’s death, the fellow omega had done a revamp to the company to focus on green and renewable energy sources. Tony didn’t waste time in enlisting Bucky to work in the New York office as he was someone Tony could trust with his most important research. Bucky couldn’t find it in him to stay at home, living off of settlement money, so working in a normal environment in a field he found purpose in brought him the sense of normalcy and peace he was yearning for.

The brunette’s weeks centered around Emma, working full time with flexible hours, going to counseling twice a week, having ‘family time’ with Emma and Brock, and ensuring that he still had a social life while being there for his daughter. He felt that for the first time in a long time, he had a balance in his life. Sure, he was mostly missing the romantic aspect of his life, but he was only beginning to feel like he was stable enough to handle some light dating. His first heat after Pierce had been excruciating, but the heats following he was able to take some suppressants to help lessen the pain. He would’ve called his usual booty calls, but Wanda was in a relationship with a man they called ‘Viz’ and Frank had found himself a girl to settle down with.

He could’ve easily found a hook-up on Grindr or some other dating app, but he didn’t find the appeal in enlisting absolute strangers from the internet. Although he felt ready to get back into the dating field, he wasn’t in a hurry.

This was how he found himself in New York City, at a low-key bar with Natasha, Clint, Tony, Rhodey, and Rhodes’s girlfriend, Carol. Emma was having an evening with her grandparents fawning over her, allowing Bucky a rare opportunity to enjoy a drink with his friends. It was the cold of mid-January and snow was falling heavy outside the venue, painting a dreamy landscape that the omega enjoyed.

“So, operation find Bucky a date is go.” Tony was looking around the venue, scoping out the individuals that looked to be Bucky’s ‘type’. (Although Bucky had never specified that he had a type. He tried to reason with Tony, but it was a losing battle.)

“As soon as he stops staring at the snowflakes, that is.” Clint snorted, knocking his beer bottle to Bucky’s.

The brunette looked over to his friends with an at-ease smile, which was partially to do with the happy scents from his friends and the slow buzz of alcohol running through his system. He was no longer on medication as of a month and a half ago, and was finally cleared to drink his favorite craft beers again. Natasha would joke with him being a beer snob while Bucky full-heartedly defended his choice in brews.

“I’ll have you know that winter is the best season of the year.” Bucky took a long swig of his drink and set it down carefully. “I hate the heat.”

“Are you buzzed?” Rhodey narrowed his eyes at him, smiling as Bucky blushed. The dark-skinned man began to laugh, “You’re a lightweight now, aren’t you?”

“Hey, give the poor guy some credit. He should be having fun, not getting teased.” Carol punched Rhodey playfully on the arm.

“Nope, not happening. Roasting one another is the basis of all of our friendships.” Tony defended while Rhodey, Natasha, and Clint nodded solemnly in agreement.

Bucky snorted, “I was just thinking…isn’t it looked down on for me to be having drinks with my boss?”

“Think of this as an employee appreciation outing.” The omega suggested.

“With just one employee.” Carol pointed out.

“My favorite one.” Tony beamed, smiling cheerily until Bucky returned the same over enthusiastic grin.

The group finished up their first (for some, second) round of drinks and appetizers before venturing out onto the dancefloor. Bucky stuck close to at least one or two of his friends while he enjoyed the easy roll of his hips as found a rhythm. In this setting, he felt relaxed and not on the edge of panic as he smelled the mix scents of his friends, as well as the pheromones of other alphas and designations in the club.

As the night wore on, he eventually found himself gravitated towards another omega male with light brown (sandy blonde? He couldn’t tell in the light) hair and a firm build that spoke of military training. The omega smiled easily when Bucky reached out his hand and beckoned him over, falling in easily to the mutual pleasing scent of the man. They danced with one another, the other omega laughing in light of Bucky’s playfulness as they grinded with one another.

“What’s your name?” Bucky asked in the man’s ear, leaning down slightly so he could be able to hear over the music and the deep reverberating bass. The man was only a couple of inches shorter than him.

“Riley!” The omega smiled. Bucky licked his lips and leaned in to ask another question, but the omega stopped him, “I’m here with someone, but I really like dancing with you. Is that cool?”

“Yeah, definitely! I’m Bucky.” The brunette replied.

Riley danced with the darker haired omega for a few more songs until they both pulled away from the crowd towards the bar. Riley bought him another beer, the pair clinking glasses as they smiled effortlessly between one another. There was attraction there and even if it didn’t lead to sex, Bucky was enjoying the other man’s company. He gave a thumbs up to Natasha when she hovered by, checking in on him.

Through conversation Bucky found out that Riley had indeed been in the military and that he had come back from being stationed in Afghanistan a year ago. He said he was still adjusting to civilian life and was interested in making new friends. They exchanged digits and while they were programming their numbers into each other’s phones, an equally as handsome man approached the pair from the flashing strobe lights in the background.

“There you are! I was beginning to wonder if you ditched me.” He was dark skinned with eyes framed around thick eyelashes. He was beautiful, and as the light hit his face more clearly, the omega’s stomach dropped.

“Hey Sam.” Riley smiled, his eyes trained on the man until the beta was before him to exchange a sweet kiss. As they pulled away, he further explained, “Made a new friend to help teach me some dance moves. Sam, this is Bucky.”

Bucky wanted to run.

He really, truly, wanted to get away from Sam as far away and as quickly as possible.

The words echoed in the back of his mind.

_You shouldn’t have come._

Before a word could leave Bucky’s mouth, he saw the flash of quick recognition in Sam’s brown eyes. The beta didn’t smile, looking just as surprised to be faced with the omega. He didn’t look angry, but it was hard to tell in the lighting of the bar.

Riley caught on quick to the non-verbal exchange.

“Oh god, _please_ tell me you two haven’t fucked? Shit, this is awkward.”

“No! Fuck, no- we’ve never-“, Bucky sputtered.

“I know him through Steve.” Sam interjected, looking just as alarmed by what Riley implied. “We just haven’t seen each other in a long time.” 

Riley let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, good, because I was afraid there for a second that the first friend I’ve made that can actually dance is someone my boyfriend has boned.”

“That’s definitely not the case.” Bucky tried to avert his attention back to Riley, “Look, it was cool to meet you.”

“Wait- hold on. What’s going on?” Riley pressed his hand on Sam’s upper arm, looking for an explanation. “If he’s a friend of Steve, why are you smelling off? What happened?”

“Last time we saw each other, it was in London.” Sam began, but Bucky interrupted.

“Yeah, where you humiliated me.” Bucky ground out. He would’ve felt ashamed for being so blunt, but the alcohol served to fuel his boldness. “I forgot to say thank you for the warm welcome.”

Sam’s eyes seemed to soften, taking on more of a defeated stance. Riley looked between the two men, trying to make sense of the situation

“Shit…Bucky, I’m sorry for what happened.” Bucky could see the shame in Sam’s eyes and as much as he wanted to throw a punch and cuss out the beta, he knew it wouldn’t serve any positive purpose. He tried to pull his resolve together and think of what Dr. Xavier had been teaching him; to let go of the negative and welcome the positive. 

“Perhaps you should both talk over whatever this-“ Riley indicated in-between them with his hand, “-is. Maybe it’s a good thing we all ran into each other if you two need to clear things up.”

 “At a bar?” Sam looked incredulous, though he couldn’t deny the strong coincidence that they would run into Bucky at this bar, out of all the hundreds of places in the city.

“It’s just a suggestion.” Riley was trying to diffuse the negative vibes between them, “Maybe you guys should talk? I’m going back out on the dancefloor and when I come back, hopefully you _both_ will join me. Sound fair?”

Sam and Bucky exchanged hesitant looks before agreeing.

“I’ll meet up with you in a bit, okay?” Sam whispered as he kissed Riley’s forehead. The omega nodded, sending a look of sympathy towards Bucky before turning with his beer to give them some privacy.

When Riley disappeared into the mass of people, the pair found bar seats at the end of the bar, both nursing a bottle of beer as silence washed over them. They adjusted to the reality that this was happening.

“I followed your court case.” Sam broke the ice while his fingers peeled at the soggy beer label. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. It was pretty fucked up.”

Bucky took a long drink of his beer. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Steve told me it was you. I stayed glued to that TV throughout the news of your case. I prayed for you, man. No one should have to go through what you did.” Sam stated.

“Thank you.” Bucky whispered.

Sam nodded and the pair took in a few moments of silence to mull over their thoughts. There was still a slight feel of unease between them that couldn’t be shaken off and although this was only the second time they had ever met in person, they still felt like they had known one another forever.

All because of Steve.

“Why were you such an asshole to me in London?” the omega questioned.

Sam let out a deep sigh, leaning back in his chair. He crossed his arms and stared down at the table, “I’m not proud of what I did to you and why I did it. I want you to know that. What I said to you and how I acted was in defense for Steve.” He looked over to the omega and continued, “You have to understand that my reaction to you was because of my one-sided experience with Steve. I’ve only ever seen what you’ve done to Steve.”

“What I’ve done to him?”

Sam gestured vaguely to the air, “The nights he’d stay awake asking me if he should move back to Brooklyn, the times he was down on himself because he didn’t feel good enough for you, and the times he would second-guess everything he said to you. The guy was grossly in love with you, man. Please tell me you at _least_ knew that.”

Bucky looked guiltily to the ground as the new information flooded his knowledge.

“Jesus Christ, you two are awful.” Sam rubbed a hand down his face. “My experience was seeing all the negative things your ‘arrangement’ had with one another. It was painful to watch. You both were in a relationship, but not. You wanted things from him, but didn’t want to hold out until you felt ready. You fooled around online, and then had radio silence. You kept each other teetering on the edge of this pseudo-relationship. Four years is a long damn time to go through this cycle and see someone pine so hopelessly for another person that didn’t seem really interested. To me, I thought Steve was your side piece; your back-up plan in case you needed him.”

“I never asked him to wait for me.” Bucky frowned.

“Yeah, but you know how Steve is- Always trying to do the right thing and hold out for the right person. He was always stuck on you and then he and Peg accidentally got pregnant and that threw him in for a tailspin.”

“Weren’t they dating?”

Sam shook his head, “No, their arrangement was much like yours. They hooked up when Peg wanted to, but she knew that he was stuck on you; knew you guys must be true mates. She was always the one to initiate things between her and Steve. He was stuck on you, man.”

Bucky felt his ears redden with frustration, “So if you all felt Steve and I were true mates, why did he mate with Peggy?”

Sam paused, eyebrows raising.

“What?” Bucky grumbled.

“You didn’t know? They never officially mated, Bucky. They were going to, but Steve couldn’t go through with it. It’s partly why I was against you coming.” Sam clarified.

“But I thought you said-“

“I didn’t want you to interfere with the mess of their situation.” Sam sighed, “I’m sorry I was an ass to you, but at the time I thought I had good intentions. I wanted Steve to be with Peg, but they weren’t meant to be together.”

Bucky leaned his elbows on the bar top, steadying himself. He wasn’t sure what to do with this information other than to be angry with the past for what had transpired.

“I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I know it was wrong, but it was in defense of a friend. Steve and I were both assholes to you when you came and it wasn’t right.” Sam sighed. He glanced back to see Riley walking by them, pointedly looking at his boyfriend to make sure that amends were being made.

“So what is he doing now? No one tells me anything.” Bucky lamented.

“He’s living an hour or so north of here, working on commissions and getting ready for a big show this summer. It’d be nice to have you come with Riley and me for the show.  He’s _still_ stuck on you, you know.” Sam explained.

The brunette’s mouth was in a grim line as his mind was a mess of thoughts. The stubborn part of him still wanted to be angry and see Steve suffer, while the other side yearned for the alpha’s familiarity and friendship. He was stuck at an impasse and with the new information Sam had shared with him, felt even more at odds.

When the omega didn’t say anything, Sam continued, “Maybe it was good for me to run into you tonight. Who knows what the universe is plotting, right? I hope that what I’ve shared with you helps you find peace too.”

“It helps.” Bucky wasn’t proud of his past self and when thinking of his and Steve’s situation in the eyes of an outsider, it made some sense.

Sam finished off his beer, the hollow bottle making a sound as he set it back on the wooden bar. “Riley likes you and I would like to have a do-over, if that’s cool with you? Maybe we can hang out soon in a setting that isn’t so awkward. Especially without that gorgeous redhead friend of yours glaring daggers into my back.”

Bucky turned his head to see Natasha and Carol ‘casually’ sipping on martinis from the table behind them. Natasha raised a brow towards Bucky, who waved them off that everything was okay.

“I think I’d like that, Sam. Get to know the real you and not the asshole I met back in London.”

“I can finally meet the real, legendary Bucky Barnes.”

They shook on it and as they clasped hands, Bucky repeated the mantra Dr. Xavier had taught him: _Let go of the negative. Let in the positive. Be open to change._

*

_3 months later_

It had been three months since his run-in with Sam, giving the omega plenty of time to think about what the beta had said. The old feelings of missing Steve crawled around in his head, causing his thumb to hover over the call button underneath Steve’s name more than a handful of times.

He was home from work and getting a head start on dinner for himself and Emma when his cell rang with Anna’s name flashing across the front.

“Hey sis, what’s up?”

Instead of the cheery hello he was expecting, he heard Anna’s breath hitch on the other side. Warning bells went off in the omega’s head as he turned off the stove and set the stirring spoon down. His first thought was that Anna had broken up with her long-time girlfriend and was reaching out for solace, but it wasn’t like Anna to call him for help. She was more reserved when it came to expressing her feelings. Bucky glanced to Emma, who was completing her homework at the dinner table. He moved to the next room as to not alert his daughter that there was anything wrong.

“Anna, what’s wrong?” he asked in a stern voice.

There was another broken sob as Anna spoke, but Bucky was finally able to make out her frantic words. “Dad is gone, Buck. He’s gone.”

The omega froze, confused and unwilling to comprehend what his sister just said, “What?”

“You need to get to the house, Bucky. The officer came to our door; there was a car accident on the bridge. Dad didn’t make it.”

Bucky felt his walls closing in. “There has to be a mistake.”

Anna’s sobbing increased and Bucky could do nothing but feel distressed that there had to be some sort of mix-up.

“Please come, Bucky. Mom is unresponsive. I don’t know what to do.” Anna pleaded.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up and took in a shaky breath, not fully comprehending the news that he had heard. He closed his eyes tightly as the tears stung at his eyes; he couldn’t breathe properly.

“Daddy?” Emma asked from the doorway.

Bucky jolted as he turned his head towards his daughter. She approached him carefully, to which then the omega noticed he was sitting on the floor in a daze.

“Hey, sweet pea, hey.” Bucky whispered shakily, “I need to call auntie Nat really quick, ok?”

“You smell funny, daddy.” Emma was visibly scared as she looked at her father. “Is the bad man back?”

Bucky’s heart nearly broke as he realized what she was thinking. He shook his head, “No, god no, we’re fine, Ems.  He’s locked away, remember? We’re safe. I just need to go to grandma and grandpa’s-“ Bucky choked, “I need to get over there. I need to get you to Auntie Nat and Uncle Clint’s house tonight. Would you like that?”

Emma shook her head, sensing correctly that there was something very wrong. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, nestling her face into his neck to try to breath in the reassuring scent of her father while grounding him. Bucky wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes tightly while he tried to steady himself and keep his composure for the sake of his child.

As his eyes began to tear up, he pulled away but still allowed Emma to wrap herself around him for comfort. He called Nat, telling her there was a family emergency and that he needed her to stay with them. He managed to get himself and Emma into the car, dropping off his daughter with the alpha and beta before rushing to his family home.

Joy met him on the steps of the house. She was sitting outside, smoking a cigarette with blood shot eyes and shaking fingers.

“You’re too young to smoke.” Bucky reached forward and took the cigarette from his 17-year old sister’s fingers. Joy didn’t make a move to stop him or say anything as Bucky sighed, took a deep drag of the Marlboro, and then dropped it to squash it under his foot.

“Becca is on her way, too.” Joy stated with an intense frown. “Anna is a mess and mom doesn’t know what to do.” The youngest Barnes looked up to her brother with reddened eyes. “They said it happened quickly; he wouldn’t have felt any pain.”

Bucky felt his heart sink. His jaw tightened as he tried to keep in the emotion, but it was useless as Joy went on. In a way, he felt out of place.

“The officer said he was driving eastbound in the slow lane when the semi-truck in front lost control from hitting some road debris. They said it happened fast.” Joy looked down at her hands. “They need mom to go down to identify the body, but she hasn’t moved from the couch since the cop came. Sarah went down to confirm instead.”

Bucky reached out and steadied himself on the step railing. He felt his stomach hollow and the emotions begin to open in the form of tears. Joy was handling her grief through anger towards the world, but the omega still reached out and touched his sister’s shoulder.

“Come inside?” he asked.

Joy shook her head, “I’m going to wait for Becs. You should go calm Anna and mom down. I don’t know what to do for them.”

The eldest had a grim expression as he entered the house and was assaulted with the acrid smells of grief and loss. He remembered in health class that it wasn’t uncommon for a mate to die soon after the death of their own true mate and the thought made him feel cold and scared that he could possibly become an orphan.

His mother needed her children and family more than anything in the world.

He felt as if he was in a dream as he found his mother and Anna in the living room, sitting on the couch with Anna’s face tucked against her mother’s chest. Anna was sobbing uncontrollably as Winifred hushed her daughter and ran her fingers through her hair.

Winifred’s eyes were puffy and red with tears as Bucky approached.

“Ma?” Bucky ventured.

Both of the women looked up to their family member as Bucky approached. With each step, he felt his strength weaken until he was collapsing on his knees before his mother. Winifred reached out to her son, brushing the tears from his cheeks.

Winifred tried to smile, tried to reassure her son with a look, but it was lost as her heart clenched and grief tore through her. Bucky felt the wave of anguish as his mother cried freely before him in her sorrow. He brought himself up to the couch, taking the other side of his mother as he wrapped one arm around his mother and the other towards Anna.

When Becca came running into the house with Joy tailing after her, the whole family settled surrounded together on the couch, soaking in each other’s grief while trying to hold each other up.

*

George’s funeral took place on a Tuesday morning. Bucky felt numb throughout most of the morning as he helped take matters primarily into his own hands as his mother was still devastated in her grief. Family members from out of town all flocked to offer their condolences, but Bucky still felt like he was in an odd state of dreaming as figures dressed in black came and went. He barely remembered the exchange of words, but they were always something along the lines of _I’m sorry for your loss_ or _I hope you will all find peace_.

During the funeral mass, Emma held his hand the entire time, understanding dawning on the child’s face that her Papa was being laid to rest. Bucky’s cousins and uncles were the pall bearers and the omega couldn’t help but to think that he should also be one of the men to carry his father’s casket. Instead, he was needed by his mother, who sat amongst her children looking sullen and grief-stricken. It was difficult to get through the mass, but the words faded in and out of Bucky’s recognition.

Brock was the one who drove Emma and Bucky over to the cemetery as they followed the long line of cars. Emma was in need of the strong unwavering influence of her father, just as much as Bucky needed the strength. Even though George never truly liked Rumlow, he reserved himself to understanding that Emma needed her biological dad and the man was doing his best to be a good person.

They buried George in a small family plot alongside his own father and far back relatives. His loved ones stood around somberly to pay their respects as they lowered him to his final resting place, throwing roses down into the grave. Bucky dropped his own rose, but Emma refused, holding on to it tightly as tears welled in her eyes. Brock leaned down and picked her up, holding her to him as his scent was more calming than Bucky’s.

The brunette stood still as people began to speak and clear out. Hands brushed against his arms in support as guests prepared to head to the Barnes’ home. Eventually, he began to walk towards the car, taking a path around and up an hill when he saw the shadow of a figure ahead.

Time seemed to stand still as Bucky looked across to _Steve_.

It was almost like seeing a ghost.

Steve was not the perfect vision of tanned health that Bucky had remembered from so long ago. The alpha was still blonde haired and tall, but he looked thinner and less like his happy self. He was wearing a dark charcoal suit and looked nervous to be there.

Steve didn’t make any move towards the omega. “I’m sorry about George.” Steve said, his voice shaky and gravelly. “He was- he was the best father anyone could’ve asked for.”

Bucky felt his heart clench as he thought back to their days growing up. How George always said he had two sons instead of one. With Steve’s father dead, George had taken the blonde under his wing and loved him like a son.

“I know. He loved you, Steve.” The omega replied.

Steve wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Setting aside their differences and the anger he held towards the alpha, the brunette stepped forward and brought Steve down into a hug. They had both lost George; they had both lost a father.

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I came as soon as my ma called, but I was afraid to see you. I know with last time-”

“Shh, it’s fine. My dad would’ve wanted you to be here.” Bucky stepped back, patting Steve’s shoulders. “My mom will be glad to see you, too.”

Steve didn’t look convinced. He didn’t feel welcome around the Barnes family and even around many of his friends. It had been almost two years since the incident in London and although they were mostly healed and moved on, Bucky and Steve couldn’t forget.

Bucky sighed and brought the alpha back in for another hug. “I’m so tired, Steve. I’m so tired of everything…”

Steve didn’t know what to say; he was afraid of saying too much or of causing another scene. When they separated, he put his hands in his pockets nervously and was saved from the awkwardness when Emma came rushing up over the hill.

Emma brightened when she saw the alpha. “Steve!” She smiled, gap toothed from where she was beginning to lose her baby teeth.

Steve smiled minutely, and welcomed the six-year old into a hug. She didn’t push her face into his neck to scent him as a child would typically do to a parent, and Steve was reminded again of his mess up.

A second figure came along and made it all the more awkward.

“Sorry, she darted away from me as soon as she zeroed in on you.” Brock stopped to stand next to the omega, frozen when he saw the blonde.

Steve visibly stiffened. “Rumlow.” He nodded in greeting, though it was tense.

“Hey Rogers. You came out of your hole. Where ya been hiding?” Brock sneered.

Bucky side-eyed to the darker haired alpha, “Brock.” He said the man’s name in warning.

“No, please, I really wanna know where you limped off to after makin an ass of yourself. You know, Buck told me about what you did in London.” Brock seemed to want to continue egging him on, but he observed his daughter and noticeably refrained. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, man.”

“I’m here to pay my respects.”

Brock snorted, “Sure.”

Bucky sighed, annoyed with the alphas. He stepped forward, taking Emma’s hand as he turned and led her away. He wasn’t about to deal with the two hot heads. “Behave yourselves for god sakes.” He muttered.  He looked to Steve, “You welcome to come by my ma’s later. She would like to see you. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

Brock turned his head and watched the omega and his daughter walk back to rejoin the rest of the group. He waited until they were out of earshot to turn his attention back to the blonde, scowling at him. Whether Rumlow was aware of it or not, he had a stance that was protective and mildly threatening towards his ‘opponent’.

“Are you two…together?” Steve asked, his brows pinched in concern as he tried to piece the situation together.

“That’s up to James to decide.” Brock stated.

Steve was confused, “What does that mean?”

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have a chance with him after what you put him through. I heard you called him your ‘true mate’ at Clint and Nat’s party a year ago. That was a shit thing to say.”

The blonde looked embarrassed as he looked away

Brock was still frowning as he spoke, “Look, save us all the drama, okay? James is doing great and we’re all happy in our lives. We’re family now, you know? If you come by tonight, you’ll only make things more awkward.”

“I just wanted to pay my respects.” Steve didn’t want to start a fight in the midst of a cemetery after George’s funeral. As much as he hated Brock, he wouldn’t be selfish.

“Well, you’ve paid them, so now you should leave.” Brock spat on the ground, almost hitting Steve’s shoes. “Later, Rogers.” He turned and left the blonde standing on the hill.

Steve stared down at the ground, frown deepening in the creases on his face.

He knew when he had worn out his welcome.

*

That evening, Bucky tried not to look too disappointed that Steve never showed up for the family dinner. He glanced at the clock and towards the door, knowing full well that Brock was watching his every move. When he asked Sarah where Steve had gone, the older woman had sighed and said that the blonde had to head back up north because something came up.

“He wanted me to apologize to you and send his condolences.” Sarah reached out and placed her hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “I told him he should be here, but he hung up. Is everything okay?”

The omega nodded, trying to assure her that everything was okay.

He felt foolish for believing Steve might actually show up.

*

_Two weeks later_

Steve knew that he should technically stay away from Bucky, but he couldn’t help the selfish side of him to want to see and talk to the omega, despite the fact that he felt he wasn’t welcome. He wanted to make amends the best he could so that they could both heal and move on with their lives.

He paced along the beach and in his house day and night, mulling over his thoughts and trying to think of the best way to reach out to Bucky again without making an ass of himself or hurting the omega.

It haunted him; followed him wherever he went and as he worked.

Finally, he sat down in the early hours of the morning and began to write.

 

_Bucky,_

_There’s nothing I could ever do or say to make up for what I put you through._

_I should’ve chose you from the beginning, but I was too afraid that what you felt for me wasn’t the same for what I felt for you._

_I realized I loved you when you kissed me on your 18 th birthday. I don’t know if you remember that, but I knew. I knew I wanted you, but at the time, you wanted Brock and you chose him. _

_I should’ve been supportive and told you how I felt, but I was a coward. I’ve been a coward my whole life when it comes to you. I should’ve stayed in the states, I should’ve told you about my decision long before dropping it on you. I should’ve been there for you when Emma was little. I remember the nights you texted me when she had colic._

_I should’ve been a better person, but I wasn’t._

_I should’ve been there for you throughout these past few years, even though you’ve kept me at arm’s length._

_I want you to know that I would’ve always chosen you. I should’ve always chosen you._

_But I didn’t_

_I’ve ruined everything. Our friendship, our family, and a future together._

_A long time ago your dad sat me down and asked me to take good care of you. He was the one that told me he always felt that we were true mates, but I was too afraid to act on it. I was young and stupid. Not telling you has been my biggest regret. I feel that I have failed George, just as much as I have failed you._

_I'm not asking for forgiveness, but I want you to know that I’m truly sorry. For everything._

_Yours,_

_-Steve_

The letter was sealed and sent in the mail with a heavy heart. Steve thought about going back to the mail box many times to fish it out and rip it to shreds. He worried over the letter, but tampered down the dread, even as he saw the postwoman emptying the box into her satchel the next day.

He prayed that he had made the right decision.  

*

Two days later, Anna sorted through the mail and sifted through the insurance bills, condolence letters, and junk mail. She took pause when she found an inconspicuous white envelope with familiar cursive writing she could identify anywhere. She looked around the kitchen, noting that Bucky was still in the restroom, Emma was at school, and Winifred was out in the backyard attending to her garden.

She knew it was wrong, but it didn’t stop her from ripping the flap and pulling out the letter. Her eyes scanned through the writing quickly, brows furrowed as she processed what the letter was telling Bucky while also asking herself _why_. Why had Steve sent a letter? Why no phone call?

When she read the contents of the letter, she understood why.

Knowing it wasn’t her place to do so, she placed the letter back into the envelope and folded the paper in half.

“Do you want to do grilled cheese for lunch or should we pick up some subs for Ma?” Bucky called as his footsteps echoed down the hall, nearing the kitchen.

Anna shoved the letter into her back jean pocket, feeling like a guilty child as she straightened herself up tall just as her brother came in through the doorway.

“Maybe subs? Mom will like that.” Anna replied, feigning a smile.

Bucky sighed, glancing to his mother in the backyard. She was tending to her tomato plants, crouched down in the soil outside. “I’ll go ask what she wants.” He grabbed the car keys off the kitchen counter as he made his way outside.

Anna felt as if the letter was burning with urgency in her back pocket. She watched as her brother and Winifred spoke outside while her thoughts tried to justify her actions.   

She was going to make sure the letter didn’t find its place in Bucky’s hands.

Her brother had been through enough heartache.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had a lot going on in life and with work which has put a disruption on my writing schedule. Thank you to everyone who has been waiting so patiently for this chapter! <3 I hope this makes up for the long wait!
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all of the feedback! :) We’re almost to the end! I am still writing for both this fic and my other one. It’s slow going, but it is going! If you want more updates on when chapters will be posted or if you want to geek out with me, follow me on:  
> [My tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/AmethystValkyri)  
> Also, if you’re playing Overwatch, let me know! I’m obsessed. (I’m Reaper76 trash…


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